The Difference a Day can Make
Pairing: Bea/Allie
Summary: Imagine for a moment, (as I have been since I watched it tearfully) that the shower scene with Ferguson played out slightly differently. Shameless wish fulfillment.
"Come have a shower with me before anyone else gets there?" Allie softly asked her. Bea heard her words, somewhat hazy from her peaceful sleep, but wasn't quite ready to be pulled out of bed and to reality. Allie smiled, but let Bea stay a while longer.
She was radiant making her way down to the shower block, memories from the previous night rolling through her mind. She doubted she'd be able to stop smiling at all for the rest of the day. She had waited for Bea to be ready for ages; and she meant it when she'd told her that she would continue to wait forever. The fiery redhead was worth it, even if they had never done anything except be together, hold hands and kiss, Allie would have been more than satisfied. She smirked a little at the thought, given the passion they had ended up sharing the night before. It had finally felt right. For Bea and for her, and it was so right. All the feelings she thought she'd had for others paled in comparison to what she had now.
She tried unsuccessfully to come back to reality as she finally entered the showers. As she had hoped, she beat everyone else and had the whole room to herself. The only thing that would have made it better was if Bea had woken up to join her. Allie didn't begrudge herself the feeling of self satisfaction that the older woman was obviously too worn out from their activities to wake up for another round.
'Oh well, there's always tonight,' Allie chuckled to herself gleefully. And the night after that, and after that. They had ten blissful years together to look forward to until her release date loomed. And that was far enough in the future that she could block it out in favor of her current happiness.
She made her way to the mirrors, hoping to take a look at her neck. Bea had worked it rather harder than she expected. A hickey would mean taking a ribbing from the rest of the girls in H1, and she didn't fancy Boomer's innuendos at this hour. Suddenly, a hand reached around her neck and pressed her down hard into the sink. Her breath caught in her throat. An attack? She fought instinctively, trying to dislodge whoever had her arm held behind her in a vice grip, but her assailant was too strong, and she was easily outmaneuvered. She threw her head back, but didn't manage to bash the woman, who she could now see in the mirror. Joan Ferguson. Of course. Because just when things are going well for her, that woman had to swoop in and ruin it. A sharp pinch, and she realized that the Freak had a needle deep in her neck. She tried to pull away, but Ferguson held her steady and depressed the plunger.
Allie was instantly on her knees. Once the Freak had released her, she couldn't support herself. She turned as she fell, wanting to keep the woman in her eye line as long as possible. She was quickly losing consciousness, and she had a sudden thought that at least Bea wasn't here with her. Thank God she didn't wake up, because then they would both be dead. But then, miraculously, Bea was there. Or was it her eyes and the drugs now in her system playing tricks on her? She didn't think it could be, because suddenly Ferguson was on the ground. Bea, wearing only her robe and slippers, was a snarling mess of arms and legs, raining blows down in fury.
Joan's arms went up to protect her face, and that's when Bea landed an elbow into her gut with all the power she had. Allie took a moment to appreciate the muscle Bea's small frame hid, and then Bea was up in a flash, across the room and pounding the panic button. The shrill alarm filled the room. Joan regained her equilibrium, and lunged for Allie's ankle, which she caught and used to tug the younger girl closer.
"Oh no you don't, bitch," Bea spat at her, grabbing Joan's arm off Allie and wrenching it behind the Freak's back. Bea threw her weight on top of the woman to keep her in place, but she was no match for the ex-governor, who threw her off easily. She rose unsteadily to her feet, clutching her midsection. Bea smirked at her.
"Guess I got you good, Governor," She taunted, drawing Joan's complete attention. With a howl of rage, Joan lunged for her, pinning her to the wall easily. Her hand gripped the front of Bea's robe, lifting her off the ground slightly, and she punched Bea in the face, instantly drawing blood. She released Bea, letting her sink slowly to the ground, blood streaming from her nose. When Ferguson turned her attention back to Allie, Bea's eyes widened in panic and she forced herself to rise up to her feet.
"Can't even do a proper job of it, huh Freak?" She spat at Joan's feet, blood and spit staining her white shoes. Joan snarled, and rounded back on Bea, her hand closing against Bea's windpipe. She stepped behind Bea, wrapping one arm around her in a headlock. Bea dropped to her knees, trying unsuccessfully to break her hold.
"You can die together then. How romantic." Her arm tightened around Bea's neck, the redhead's fingers scrabbling uselessly against her skin to try to loosen it. Bea looked down at Allie one last time, and silently mouthed 'I'm sorry' to the woman she could no longer protect. Allie smiled back sadly, before finally losing her battle to stay conscious. As the light grew dimmer around them, the door to the shower block burst open and Will and two other guards were on Joan in a flash, pulling her off Bea as she screamed in frustration. Bea coughed, clutching her neck and drawing in deep, grateful breaths.
As soon as she regained her equilibrium and could move again, Bea was at Allie's side. "Mr. Jackson!" she yelled, cradling Allie's head gently. "The freak stabbed her with something. I think she's given Allie a hot shot! She needs medical now!" Will left a struggling Ferguson with other guards and felt for Allie's pulse. It was sluggish, but he could feel it. He called on his radio to medical, advising them of the situation.
"I'll take her," he said quickly, rising to his feet with Allie's limp body in his arms. "Can you walk?" he asked Bea. "You need to get checked out in Medical too, you're bleeding pretty badly." She nodded quickly, following him without question, not sparing a single look back to a screaming Joan Ferguson. She was the guard's problem now, at least until Bea made sure Allie was alright.
"What was Ferguson doing in the shower block? She's supposed to be under 24/7 guard," He shook his head.
"I don't know," Bea responded, her eyes not leaving Allie. "When I got there, she was injecting Allie with something in the neck. I should never have left her alone," Bea fumed, suddenly furious with herself.
"You couldn't have known," Will said reasonably. They reached Medical quickly, and the staff was ready to receive them, running vitals as Will lay Allie down on the gurney as gently as he could. An ambulance was quickly ordered. Bea refused to leave Allie's side, clinging stubbornly to the blonde's hand and brushing off all attempts the medical team made to address her still bleeding face. They were attempting to rouse the blonde, but so far Allie had remained unresponsive. Bea was worried when they inserted an IV and Allie's eyelids didn't even flutter.
"She going to be alright, isn't she?" She questioned desperately.
"Smith," The nurse said sternly. "We need space to work. Go sit on the other bed and let the doctor take care of your injuries." Bea shook her head, tears filling her eyes.
"I can't leave her. She needs me. Please," She begged. The nurse's serious face softened slightly, and she nodded.
"You can stay with her for now, but when the EMTs arrive, you'll have to let her go. We need to get her to the hospital as soon as possible."
Will moved to stand next to Bea. "She's a fighter," He said quietly. "She's going to be just fine." The redhead moved her attention to him briefly.
"Are you going to the hospital with her, Mr. Jackson?" he nodded. "I know its a lot to ask, but when she wakes up, will you let us know?"
"Of course. I'll have Mr. Stewart come down and keep you updated." They were silent a few more minutes, until a pair of EMTs burst through the door wheeling a gurney. Bea tightened her grip on Allie's hand, and leaned over to press a kiss against the girl's forehead. Will stepped away to give them what little privacy he could.
"I love you, Allie Novak," she whispered. "Don't you dare leave me alone in here. I'm not sure I could survive it." With one final squeeze, she released Allie's limp hand and moved back to give the medical team room to work. They had the blonde ready to roll within seconds. Bea wrapped her arms around herself, already feeling the absence of her girlfriend. They started to take her out, and Bea couldn't stop the tears that flowed freely down her cheeks. "Mr. Jackson?" Bea called to him, and he stopped just inside the doorway. "When she wakes up, tell her I love her?" He nodded to her, and then they were gone. Bea pressed up against the glass and watched them until they turned the hallway corner and she could no longer see her love. Only then did she allow the nurse to guide her to a medical bed and see to her wounds.
Vera made her appearance at that point, and Bea took great pleasure in detailing exactly the scenario that led to their trip to medical, while the nurse set her broken nose.
"What I can't understand," Vera said finally, "Is what Ferguson was doing in the shower block at all. She was under 24 hour guard watch."
"I can't answer that, Governor. I just know that when I got there, she was giving Allie a hot shot. How she got it, and how she got in there are a bit above my pay grade. Sounds like a job for the Governor," Bea sniped.
"Rest assured, Smith, she'll be under constant surveillance, and she'll be spending an extended period in the slot. And with an attempted murder under her belt, she won't have a release to look forward to. I'll see to that," Vera promised grimly.
Bea barely heard her. Knowing that there was nothing she could do now to help Allie left her feeling weak and helpless. Those were two words that hadn't described her in years, and she'd be damned if she let herself feel that way for a second longer. What she needed was The Freak to pay for all she had done.
The doctor tried to keep her in medical longer, but she brushed him off, and made her way back to H1. She paused in the doorway, realizing there was somewhere she needed to go first. Someone she needed to speak to.
When she entered H3, Kaz was at the counter, busy with her cup of tea. When turned and saw Bea's battered face and grim look, she passed her the cup.
"Looks like you could use this more than me," she quipped. "Who did this?"
"Ferguson," Bea said simply. "I'll handle it."
"No. I will," Kaz argued. "You will rest and-"
"She gave Allie a hot shot."
Kaz stopped, her eyes growing wide. "Is she..."
"On her way to the hospital," Bea supplied. "Her vitals are not good. If she dies, Joan Ferguson will too. And that is my promise. I'm here telling you because I know you care about Allie too."
"Thank you," Kaz said finally. "Let me know if you hear any updates on her condition?" she requested. Bea nodded, then left H3.
As she expected, the news was pretty devastating to the women in her own cell block. Boomer promised her usual bashing services and vowed to rip Ferguson a new one when she got out of the slot. Liz, Doreen, and Sonia offered more passive wishes for Allie's speedy recovery. And Maxine, god love her, vowed to try to find out about her condition when she got the hospital for her treatment. As grateful as she was to each of the women, Bea needed some space to sort out her mind.
She went about her tasks that day in silence, ignoring the whispers of the other women, who speculated wildly about that morning's events. The more ridiculous rumors circulated about a tryst gone wrong between herself, Allie, and The Freak, which was laughable to her. She almost broke her self-imposed silence when she overheard one woman from H4 say that Allie had gone off the wagon and given herself the drugs. Kaz put a stop to the rumors finally at dinner when she announced to the women what had actually happened, and asked that everyone think positive thoughts for Allie. She promised that Joan would be dealt with in due course, but Bea couldn't fathom how Kaz intended to deliver on that promise without resorting to violence herself.
The rest of the evening went on quietly with the gossip being put to rest, and Bea retreated to her cell finally when last count was taken. Mr. Stewart said he had no news to report, and that Will had called him no more than an hour previous to relay that Allie's condition remained unchanged. Bea took it as a positive sign; no news being good news.
When her door clicked shut and blocked the rest of the prison out, she couldn't stop her emotions from getting the best of her finally. She sat on the floor, back against the door, unable to stomach the idea of crawling into the bed she had last shared with the bubbly blonde. The sheets were still unmade, since she never came back to the room, and it reminded her of all they had shared less than 24 hours previous. What a difference a day could make.
Bea allowed herself a few more minutes to wallow in her misery, then forced herself to stand and be strong. She would keep being strong for Allie. When she slid into the sheets a few minutes later, she tried not to dwell on the fact that she could still make out Allie's scent on the pillow, but in actuality it brought her some small measure of comfort. She drifted off to sleep, thoughts consumed by the blonde.
When the morning count came, Mr. Jackson personally came to H1 to give Bea an update. Allie still had not regained consciousness. She was, however, breathing on her own, and the doctors were confident she would wake before the day was out.
"Ms. Miles is there with her now, and if there are any changes, she'll call me straight away," Will said seriously. Bea gave her first real smile since the incident, and it was not lost on Will. He had noticed such a change in Smith ever since she had met Allie, and he was glad for it. Bea had a rough go of it for most of her time at Wentworth, and her finding happiness and love was a positive he had not foreseen. When he left the unit, he could hear the other women expressing their relief that Allie was doing well. Bea had a loving family in here, something she hadn't had for much of her life with her bastard ex-husband. He smiled a little at the thought.
The news perked Bea up enough that she managed to eat an entire slice of toast at breakfast, a feat she hadn't managed the day before when everything she tried to swallow just caught in her throat. Liz brought her a cup of tea to wash it down, and offered it with her usual smile. "She'll be back with us before you know it, love."
That thought sustained her through her work shift in laundry, and during her outdoor rec time where she asked Boomer to spot her on the weights in Maxine's absence. Bea had tried not to let it bother her that two of the most important women in her life were at the hospital that day fighting for their lives and she could nothing to help either one. She threw herself totally into the weight training, until Boomer suggested she give it rest, and knock off for the rest of the afternoon.
Dinner was a noisy affair as usual, and Bea successfully made conversation with her girls, even having a laugh at Boomer's antics, until the room went silent. Vera Bennett had just stepped in, and a visit from the Governor was rare enough that it warranted the attention from the entire room.
Vera cleared her throat. "Smith, can you come with me please?"
Shakily, Bea rose to her feet. Personally being sought out and escorted by the Governor had never meant something good, and with everything that had happened, thoughts spun through her mind at the possibilities. She refused to give in to the panic threatening to rise like bile in her throat. Vera did not speak until they reached her office. She picked up the phone receiver and handed it to Bea. "You have a phone call."
Bea took it with a shaking hand. "Hello?" she asked nervously.
"Bea?" Maxine's voice on the other end soothed her fraying nerves slightly.
"Are you alright?" Bea asked quickly. "What's going on?"
"I'm fine Bea," Maxine answered easily. "Someone just had a bit of a panic attack and needed reassurance that you were ok. Go ahead," she said from further away, clearly handing the phone off.
"Bea? Is it you?" Allie's voice rasped. Bea gasped, and sunk down to her knees in front of Vera's desk gripping the edge for support.
"I'm here baby, are you ok? I was so worried," Bea babbled.
"I woke up here, and I didn't know if you were alive. Ferguson had you, and I couldn't save you."Allie cried. Bea wished she could be there with the younger woman, reassuring her.
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Just a broken nose. I look a little like I went three rounds in a boxing ring, but I'm just fine, baby." She could hear Allie's relieved sigh on the other end of the phone. "I'm so happy you are awake."
"Maxine came to see me, and said you were ok, but I had to hear your voice, to be sure."
"I love you, you hear me? You rest up, and get back to me as soon as you can, love." Bea whispered to her. Vera motioned to her to speed it up.
"I'll be home soon, I promise," Allie said.
"Babe, I've got to go, but I'll right here waiting for you, don't worry. Nothing could keep me from you. See you soon," Bea promised.
"As soon as they'll let me," Allie said back. "Goodbye for now." Bea handed the phone back to Vera, tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Vera patted her awkwardly on the shoulder, but Bea was having none of it, and she hugged the Governor fiercely.
"Thank you, Ms. Bennett, thank you," Bea stumbled over her words a bit in her gratitude.
"Well, it's a bit of a breach in protocol, but Novak wouldn't calm down and let the doctors treat her until she knew you were safe. I'm glad she's doing better." Vera disentangled herself from Bea's embrace. "The guard can escort you back to dinner." Bea nodded and smiled her thanks once more at the flushed Governor.
The walk back to the block was much lighter in comparison to the walk there. Bea felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. When she stepped through the door of the cafeteria, all eyes were on her. She sought out Kaz quickly and smiled, nodding to the woman.
"Well?" Boomer questioned loudly, in typical fashion.
"Allie is awake, she's going to be ok," Bea revealed. A renewed sense of joy was palpable in the air. Even those who didn't know Allie well knew what she meant to Bea, and Bea was a woman you wanted happy.
Bea ate the rest of her dinner with more gusto than she had expected. The weight and worry was lifted off her shoulders. She even allowed Boomer coerce her into a drink back in their cell block after count, which she hadn't done in quite some time. Even sleep came easier to her that night.
Liz did her best to keep Bea distracted for the next two days. Although the redhead was in much better spirits, Liz could tell the separation from Allie still caused her some discomfort. Without the pressures that came with being top dog in Wentworth, Bea tended to be morose and distant.
Maxine offered to smuggle a note to Allie, and Bea spent one entire evening drawing the most elaborate flower she ever attempted. She was terrible with love notes, this was much more her style. When Maxine returned that afternoon, she slipped a small piece of paper back to Bea, who unfolded it eagerly.
'Bea, that's amazing. It's the second most beautiful thing in my life. Looking forward to seeing the most beautiful one when I get back to you. Love, Allie.' The note was pinned immediately to Bea's board above her bed, and she fell asleep that night with her eyes glued to it, although she couldn't read it without the light.
Work detail was passing slowly the following day. Bea half-heartedly folded sheets, finding little to comment on while the rest of the women kept their usual banter up. By the time they shuffled back to H1 from lunch, Bea was looking forward to relaxing and shutting the rest of the women out. Just the midday count left, and she would be able to retreat. They gathered by their doors when the call came for the count and waited.
Mr. Jackson came around the corner, his eyes fixed on the clipboard. He called out names around the room. "Smith, Birdsworth, Stevens, Jenkins, Conway..."
"You seem to be one short," he commented, still looking at the clipboard. "Novak?" The women looked at him in confusion, until the perky blonde rounded the corner. "Present," She answered in her typical cocky tone. Her eyes didn't leave Bea's as she stood outside her door obediently.
Bea nearly fell to her knees at the sight of Allie, looking radiant despite her time in the hospital. The only indication that she had any difficulties at all were the dark circles rimming her otherwise bright eyes.
"Allie," Bea whispered finally, fisting her hands tightly to stop herself from diving across the room at the younger girl. Allie just smirked back at her in response. Will stood there, looking pointedly at his clipboard for a few more seconds, before he took mercy on them and chuckled quietly.
"Count over," he announced, turning to leave. Bea didn't waste a second, bounding across the room to draw Allie into a tight embrace.
"Sorry I was gone so long," Allie whispered to her. Bea pulled back slightly and moved her hands up to Allie's cheeks, stroking the skin there gently.
"I'm just so glad you are ok," she said with tears in her eyes. Allie covered Bea's hands with her own, and leaned in.
"I'm fine baby, I just missed you," she responded. Bea rested her forehead against Allie's, relishing the feel of her girlfriend back in her arms where she belonged.
"I'm not letting go of you ever again," Bea vowed, finally joining their lips together. The kiss was slow and gentle, unfortunately it was also short lived. Boomer gave a loud wolf whistle, and the other women whooped at the pair. They broke apart, smiling despite the interruption, and Allie greeted them all, giving one armed hugs to Liz and Maxine, still holding Bea's hand tightly.
When they finally made their excuses and retreated to Bea's cell, Allie wasted no time. She pulled Bea tightly against herself, face hidden against Bea's shoulder. The red head could feel her shaking with silent tears.
"Shh," Bea soothed. "It's ok, I've got you. I'm right here." She maneuvered them on to the bed, pulling Allie down on top of her, not breaking their embrace. She didn't push, just held Allie steady, letting her tears subside. Allie slowly relaxed, feeling Bea's heartbeat, slow and constant.
"When I passed out," Allie finally began. "The last thing I saw was Ferguson choking you. I thought you died, Bea. And I wanted to die too."
"Don't say that, don't," Bea begged her, guiding Allie's face up so she could look in her eyes. "I'm not worth all that. No matter what happens to me, I want you to be safe."
"You are worth everything to me," Allie said seriously. She kissed Bea gently. "But let's just agree that neither of us is going anywhere."
Bea nodded with a smile. "That works for me." She joined their lips together once more, and Allie shifted so she was resting her weight on her palms, on either side of Bea's head. She pushed back, pulling away from Bea, and the redhead groaned in protest.
Allie shushed her, moving down so she was now straddling Bea's waist. "Is this better?" She asked, raising one eyebrow. Bea nodded quickly, sitting up to wrap her arms around her girl. She wasted no time, fusing them together, and kissing Allie with abandon. The blonde responded in kind, her hands tangled in Bea's curls.
"Allie," Bea breathed. "I... I want..."
"What do you want, love?" Allie questioned softly. "I would give you anything."
"You," Bea finished. "I just want you."
"You already have that," Allie teased gently. "You have me as long as you want me."
"Forever then?" Bea asked her seriously.
Allie lit up. "Forever." It was the last words they needed to speak that night.