Elara stood, hand hovering over the door controls, outside the station Garrus had taken up since rejoining her crew. Eyes closed, breath held as she tried to work up the courage to actually open the door. This was her second attempt. The first time, about an hour prior, EDI had - quite loudly - offered to open the door for her. She'd nearly shrieked a "no" and disappeared back to her private quarters. And now here she was again, chewing on her bottom lip and staring at the closed door. Shit, shit, shit.
For the life of her, Elara could not fathom where her confidence had come from the last time she and Garrus had spoken. She'd exuded it then, sultry and confident. And now, well now that deep well had apparently been tapped out and she was struggling to even manage the simple task of opening the door to say "hey, what's up?".
Leaning forward, she thunked her head lightly against the door. Stupid, stupid. What's wrong with you? she chided herself with a sigh. It's just Garrus. He's your friend, that hasn't changed. Her mind drifted and she shivered at the thoughts. His reach, her flexibility. Did she really use that line? Ugh.
Sucking in a breath, Elara lifted her head when she found some semblance of courage. The door slid open on her command and her eyes landed on his back, the distinctive blue suit setting butterflies in her stomach. Swallowing a groan, she stepped in and smiled.
"Hey Garrus, I was wondering if you had time to talk?" Talk? Talk about what? You idiot. As she waited for his response, she moved to sit on the crate in the corner of the small area.
"Yeah." He tapped a button on his console and the door slid closed. A moment later, he turned around. "I've been thinking about what we talked about. Blowing off steam, easing tension…"
Elara froze, turning her head slowly to look at him. Well so much for easing into the conversation. She tipped her head aside and smiled at him as an encouragement to continue his thought.
"I've never considered cross-species intercourse."
Blunt as ever. She bit back another groan.
"And damn, saying it that way doesn't help." He looked away from her, shifting in place a little. "Now I feel dirty," he muttered. "And clinical."
She had to choke back a laugh from escaping. For a second, just the barest of seconds, he looked as a small puppy that had accidentally been kicked. Damn him.
When she didn't say anything, Garrus recovered himself and continued. "Are we crazy to even be thinking about this? I'm not sur-" He looked down at her feet, then up at her face. "Look, Shepard, I know you can find something a little closer to home."
Elara frowned and crossed her arms. "You are as close to home as I'm going to get, Garrus." Averting her gaze a moment, she flushed and cleared her throat. "That and, ah, I want someone I can trust. I want you." She let one arm drop, rubbing her shoulder awkwardly with the other.
Silence settled. An awkward hesitance in the air and Elara looked up at her friend. "If you're not comfortable with this, it's okay." She chewed on her bottom lip a moment, shifting in place and reaching up to brush a few loose strands of hair away from her face. "I'm not trying to pressure you," she added.
Garrus let out a short chuckle, shaking his head. "You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes… but never uncomfortable." He outstretched his arm just a little, just enough to set off her butterflies. But before he could reach her, he reconsidered and let it drop and turned away.
"I, uh.." He cleared his throat, turning to look at her again. "I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans… but this isn't about that. This is about us."
Elara began to thank every god she could fathom being in existence for the poor lighting in the room. From the warmth she felt, she knew how bright red her cheeks were. Even her ears burned under the embarrassment of the situation. If it was embarrassment at all, she wasn't sure anymore what she was feeling.
"You're about the only friend I've got left in this screwed-up galaxy," he added after a long pause. Garrus tipped his head slightly before he shifted and paced a few steps away and then back toward her. "And I want to try it with you. I want a few moments that are just for us…" He paused his pacing, stopping within arm's length of her. "Before we throw ourselves into hell for the good of the galaxy."
She nodded slowly, a small and genuine smile finally creeping across her lips. "I want that too, Garrus. Have wanted that…" she cleared her throat. "Longer than I should, ah, probably admit." She tittered, swaying slightly on her feet as even more blood felt like it was rushing to her head. Or perhaps away from it, Elara was losing track of her body's reactions to this whole thing.
He hummed quietly, glancing aside at her feet. "Glad to hear it," he said slowly. "I'll do some, uh, research, and figure out how to… you know." Garrus shifted awkwardly, looking up again at Elara. "Okay, that sounded bad."
Elara had covered her mouth with one hand, stifling her reaction - an odd mix between a laugh, a cough, and somewhere in there a gasp. She scratched the back of her neck. "I'll, um… I'll let you get back to work."
"Right," he muttered as she made her escape. "'Cause I'm in a great place to optimize firing algorithms right now."
Offering him a smile before she fled the room, she caught one last glance of him over her shoulder. He looked… oh. Elara's heart thrummed in her chest at the thought that raced in her head. Well, at least it's not just me.