I haven't written in quite awhile, and I'm well into my junior year of high school now, so I've been busy, but I've gotten really into One Tree Hill, so here's my first entry in quite awhile. I'll continue with it as soon as I can, and I appreciate any comments.

Catching a glimpse of something worth remembering is much like having a relationship you can't forget. It's mind-bottling, and it throttles your heart like a chokehold, leaving you breathless, yet wondering how far it would have taken for it to finish the job.

In my case, my heart may as well have been made of steel. Because nobody had seemed to be able to finish the job or leave me with a relationship I can't do without the memory of, or given me something worth remembering.

Well, then I dated Lucas.

He made me feel alive, and even now as he sits in his study, feet away from where I lay in his bed, clad his button up shirt and three blankets he had tucked around me as he laid me to sleep the night before, even now, he makes me feel alive just by being able to hear the slight chuckle coming from something he's discovered on the internet, whether it be a joke, or a ridiculous spam, it provoked the most calming sound I have yet to hear.

I slid out of bed, my toes inches from the ground, I carefully placed them on the wooden flooring, and slinked my way through the room until I was peering into Lucas' study. His back was to me but he caught the reflection of my weary eyes and turned around to face me,

"Good morning." He nodded, a look of disbelief that I was up at this hour crossed his face. I nodded in return and walked to stand beside him, his eyes followed my figure as I perched a hand on his desk, the other on my hip, smiling at his attraction.

"What time is it?" I asked, leaning over to look at the computer's clock, "9:16, really?" I rubbed my eyes and sighed, "Why am I awake?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." He rested his hand in his hands and rubbed his temples, I ran a hand through his hair.

"You look beat," I mentioned, placing myself in his lap, he cradled me like a child and ran his hand up and down my leg, I continued playing with his hair, "When did you get up?"

"6:30 yesterday morning." He mumbled, his head drooping.

"Luke you've got to sleep sometime."

"I just can't though, it's weird but I don't get tired unless it's been days without me being able to shut my eyes. This is the shortest time I've gotten tired in weeks actually; usually it takes about 4 days for me to stop functioning."

"Well maybe you need to see a doctor." I lifted his head with my index finger beneath his chin and raised my eyebrows at him, "I mean it gets cold in there alone." I gestured towards the bedroom.

"I know, I'll call Dr. Hollister today, okay?" He said with a hint of anger.

"Just trying to help, shit." I climbed out of his lap and walked into the bedroom; I heard him sigh as I pulled open the top drawer of the dresser and began rummaging for clothes.

"You know I love you." I heard him mutter; I laughed and replied with a simple, "Mhm." Before pulling a ratty Avenged Sevenfold shirt over my head and tugging on a pair of tight blue jeans.

I wandered back into the den and kissed Lucas on the cheek, "I'm going to Clothes over Bros after I pick up some coffee." Lucas nodded and continued typing away aimlessly, "Love you." He mumbled.

"I know you mean that with the utmost emotion in every curve of your heart that thrives for me daily as soon as I walk out that door." I said sarcastically.

He stopped typing, objective achieved, and stood up, grabbing me by the waist and dipping me into a deep kiss that left my toes tingling and my eyes shimmering. "I love you." He held my face in his hands and kissed my forehead, then my lips, then my nose, and my cheeks and ears, all the while repeating those three words.

I stepped back, satisfied. "I love you too." I patted his head and grabbed my white leather pocketbook before exiting the house.

Brooke Davis was running around in a flurry when I arrived at her clothing shop, she had three dresses in one hand and a clipboard in the other, her assistant Millicent was holding too many clothes to be able to recognize her, but her sharp cries at Brooke were evidence enough.

"Brooke maybe we should slow down, we don't put out the formal line for another three and a half months!" She cried.

"Yes but we have models coming in Milli, you don't understand that models mean money, and money means material, and material means formal line, without that combination, I'm finished." Brooke dropped the clipboard and the dresses on the couch near the door and let out a suppressed sigh.

"Coffee to soothe your troubles?" I asked as I pushed through the front door.

"Oh P Sawyer, always saving me." Brooke grabbed a steaming cup from the carrier and handed another to Millicent, she took a deep whiff of the caramel goodness and sipped to her hearts content, "So how's the other life saver doing?"

I set down my pocket book and collapsed onto the couch, careful to avoid the dresses, "Hasn't slept in two days now, he told me he'd call the doctor…"

"You know, we all know, even his twisted son-of-a-bitch father knows he won't call that doctor Peyton." Brooke stated matter of factly.

"Yeah, that's why I should probably call I guess." I mumbled.

"It would probably be best." Brooke shrugged and collected the dresses and fallen clipboard and wandered into the back room, Millicent sat beside me and picked at some random fuzz on the material of my jeans.

"Doesn't Lucas have a heart condition?" She asked.

I turned to her, shocked that she'd even remembered that, but since the night four years ago that Lucas had a heart attack just after winning the championship game for Tree Hill's varsity basketball team, almost everyone in Tree Hill was aware of his heart condition, though it had laid dormant for years despite Lucas' resistance against medication.

"Yeah, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy." I had done my bit of research on the topic while Lucas and I had been apart, while I was in L.A. my main worry was that he wasn't going to be around if I were to come back, and if he was, I wanted to keep it that way for some time to come.

"Do you think that…" I interrupted Millicent by shaking my head nervously and waving off any idea that she was to bring up, talking about Lucas' health was always a touchy subject to me and I was in no place to start worrying about it now, "Okay, well if you need anything, let either of us know." She gestured to the backroom and then pointed to herself, I nodded and gave her a quick hug before leaving the store.

I arrived home to Lucas fast asleep, thankfully. All thoughts of worry secluded in my mind were immediately rushed when I saw his gentle face pressed into the pillow, creating little creases and lines in his cheek. I smiled and laid down beside him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder, his back to my chest.

He shuddered and murmured my name, "Right here." I smiled into his neck, pulling back slightly so he could roll over and press his forehead to mine. "Hey." I smiled again.

"Hey," he kissed me, sending spouts of red to my cheeks, "Good morning?" He asked, his eyes drifting into a sleeping position once more.

"It's getting better." I kissed his forehead, rolled over, only to have his arms grasp my waist tightly, pulling me closer to his chest, I inhaled deeply and sighed, "Much better."

Have you ever had something, a moment worth remembering, or a relationship you can't dare to forget, or even someone who can turn your heart of steel into a pot of mushy, sappy, cheesy gold?

I didn't know if such things existed.

Then I dated Lucas Scott.