The hard goodbye
Shepard stood bent over her holo computer in her room, tears running down her eyes. What was she going to do now? The Illusive Man had told her to improve her squid but he could go right to hell for all she cared. The one person in the galaxy she was fighting for shattered her heart. His words still playing in her mind, "You betrayed the Alliance and everything we believed in. I loved you." She couldn't feel - barely breathe… She expected that she'd never love again, and never fear. Everything that she was fighting for was now gone; now Shepard didn't know what to do. Everything that they did played in her mind. The smiles they exchanged when no one was looking, the small kisses they would give each other in an elevator, and the love they would make. But now everything was so wrong, so wrong that Shepard didn't care about the Reapers. The Council are morons and the Alliance had turned their backs on her. Shepard picked up her head and looked at the picture of Kaidan. "You have no idea how much you hurt me." She pushed herself straight up and faced the picture down. She had a mission. Standing here and crying won't stop the Collectors nor get her team ready. Everyone needs to be at their best, especially her. That means she can no longer let feelings get in the way. "Joker," she said, "set a corset to Illume."
"Aye-aye, Commander. Just to let you know Jacob wants to talk to you. I just thought that you would want to hear it from me then, Kelly. My voice is more soothing." Joker responded.
"Thanks, Joker. I'll go talked to him soon." That small comment would have brought a smile on her lips but it didn't. Mykaila Lee Shepard let out a long breath. The Lazarus Project might look like a success but it wasn't, Shepard will never be the same women she was before.