Disclaimer: I dont own Narnia, I just love making random Edmund one shots.

Hi everyone, and welcome to the adventurous world of Edmund. Honestly this is 100% total randomness.

A quick thankyou to ThatChichWithTheHair1 with helping me to come up with such a random story.

Please R&R, also this is sort of an extension of my main story, you don't have to read The King and The Servant to be able to understand it though.

Anway, Hope you enjoy my totally random mind ;)

The Evil Ironing Board (Dun, Dun, Duuuunnnn)

Edmund POV

What to do? What to do? I thought as I circled the object that has been sitting there insulting me for the past 4 weeks. Honestly Peter and Ashley had to take their golly time with getting married. They left this morning to go on their honeymoon, so as soon as they were out of sight I ran up here. The plain object seemed to be laughing at me as I tried my best to work out what to do with it. I heard footsteps lightly come in behind me.

"Edmund, what are you doing?" Lucy asked curiously as she skipped into the room happily. I took a glance at her then back to the inferior object. I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. I wanted to get this object back, but how?

"Can't you see that I'm trying to plan my revenge on the ironing board?" I shot back.

"What did the ironing board do to you that makes you want to get revenge on it?" she asked curiously. I tensed up, before delving deep into my subconscious.

"It was 4 weeks ago when it began. Killara the servant had picked up the ironing board and when she turned the corner the ironing board decided to release its leg and kick me. A few days later the same thing happened, only it was with Emolise. Ever since then I have been afraid of it, watching it, waiting for it to attack me again. I know it has been watching me too. It always watches. So now, I want my revenge," I replied with wide eyes. She giggled. I shot her a glare, before I got hit with inspiration. I smirked brightly. I picked up the plain white board and walked up to the abandoned hallway that Peter and Ashley always go to. I entered through the doorway and discovered that there was actually a balcony. I walked out onto it and looked down at the floor far below me only to discover that there were wooden poles pointing out along the sides of the castle walls. I raised an eyebrow then grinned. This was going to be great. "Hey, Lucy!" I called out. I heard her little footsteps come up the staircase before she froze beside me.

"Don't even think about it, Ed," she warned me while looking over the edge. She frowned.

"Come on, Lu, It'll be fun," I promised. She looked up at me then.

"What do you want to do?" she inquired curiously. I smirked.

"I was wondering when you were going to ask that. Well, my plan to get back at this inferior object is to attach a strong cable to all the poles so that it leads to Peter's bedroom window. Then I will get a strong rope, tie the rope to the wheel, which will then be attached to the rope hanging off the poles. Then I will attach the ironing board to the rope so that I can get on it and fly down so that I can slam into Peter's window and destroy his room. So what do you think?" I asked after explaining my plan to her.

"I think you're going to die," she told me practically. I shrugged my shoulders and then ran down stairs to find some strong rope, a wheel, and a helmet. Of course safety always comes first. I went to the first place I could think of, which just happened to be a junk place. I went into the main shop and walked up eagerly to the counter before ringing a tiny bell. A faun jumped up from behind the counter then.

"How may I help you, Your Majesty?" she asked. I smiled.

"I need strong rope that will hold my weight, a wheel, and a helmet," I told her. She got me all the items in a jiffy before running back up to me and handing them over.

"Here we go. All free of course. Have a good day, King Edmund," she said. I nodded my head once in acknowledgement before running back up to the hallway. Once I was there I attached the rope to all the poles hanging off the side. I then started to make me way around the castle and attached the rope (by hanging out of windows) to the poles, so that the entire castle was pretty much circled with ropes. The rope led all the way to Peter's bedroom window. Now for the next phase: the wheelie.

I ran back up to the hallway and proceeded to attach the rope and ironing board to it so that it became sort of like a suspended surfboard of types. I put the wheel onto the rope and pulled on it a few times to make sure that it was secure enough for me to get onto. I then put the helmet on and jumped up onto the railing so that I could get on. A crowd had formed in the hallway to witness this once in a lifetime opportunity. I stood on the edge, bowed to my citizens, and then climbed onto the evil ironing board. This revenge was going to be sweet! I sat on the ironing board and did up the seatbelt that I was wise enough to attach to the bottom of it and held onto the wooden bar that was in front of me. I looked over to my side when I noticed Susan standing there next to Lucy looking very upset.

"Edmund, I don't think this is a good idea," Susan started to say, before I cut her off.

"I will be fine, Su, now please give me a push," I pleaded while looking at her. She hesitated, but then proceeded to bend over the railing and push the wheelie. I screamed as I flew down the ironing board run at top speed. I heard a lot of shouting as I neared the window, then BANG! I crashed through it at lightning top speed. I realised quickly that it wasn't the brightest idea in the world. I skidded across the floor at top speed and then crashed into a table that was covered in perfumes (that I guessed belonged to Ashley). They all fell on my head to create one stinky bedroom. I undid my seatbelt slowly and then stood up. I got out of the ironing board, which had pieces of glass sticking out of it, and then took a few steps forward. I then proceeded to start kicking it. "TAKE THAT YOU STUPID, IRONING BOARD! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE ONE BEING KICKED!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I kicked and punched the horrible thing. In an instant there were young boys all around me congratulating me.

"He didn't do anything!" Susan exclaimed loudly. So I did the only appropriate thing. I walked up to her and patted her on the shoulder.

"Susan, you're just too boring. You have to loosen up a little bit. You can only live once." And with those encouraging words, I walked out of the castle and entered the hospital where they proceeded to pull out 70 large shards of glass, and give me 163 stitches. As I exited I only had one thing to say. "THAT WAS THE BEST IRONING BOARD REVENGE EVER!"

Love it, hate it. Please let me know with a review :) I don't mind flames, but I do prefer positive feedback.

Until next time

narnia and beareject fan 1

xoxo