First Kiss

It had been a couple of weeks since coming home from the temple. Athelstan does his best to get back to normal life. But what is that really? A year ago it life in the Lindisfarne was the normal life. Then he found something that somewhat resembled normalcy in the hands of his captives and at some point even family. But sinces almost being made a sacrifice like a piece of livestock to some one-eyed God, whatever stability Athelstan found here was ripped right from under him, again.

He mutters angrily to himself as he gathered pieces of wood in the courtyard. Just because he was in a foul mood doesn't mean he's left his responsibilities behind. Though he held most of his anger against Ragnar, part of him was also saddened with how Lagertha didn't do anything in his defence back in Uppsala. He thought she cared, but judging from the apologetic look on her face, he never understood till now, she did care for him, somewhat.

That's where Athelstan's train of thought stopped, the second he heard a small whimper behind him near the haystack for the animals. Ragnar and Bjorn were out on some quest for King Horik and Athelstan was left with the women of the house, as Rollo teasingly mentioned. With Lagertha, Siggy ang Thyrie out weaving, Athelstan knew instantly who was left with him.

"Gyda?" He called out softly as he approached the haystack.

"Athelstan?" A small voice replied to him in a crouched down position with her back against the wall and her legs in her arms.

"Gyda, what are you doing here? YOu're supposed to be inside resting. YOu're sick." He scolded her with a gentle voice as he crouched down to sit next to her, checking if she's alright.

"I'm not sick" She replied annoyingly, which was the first he's ever seen her. His shock clear on his face, which promted the guilt in Gyda's young face. "I'm sorry." she added with dewy eyes.

"It's quite alright." he replies as he wraps his arm around her pulling her close.

"I'm not sick." She repeated.

"What's wrong then?" He asked.

"I'm... hmm..." She tries to reply, her eyes seemingly searching for the right words to say on the walls of the courtyard until finally she ducked her head and answered. "I'm a woman now."

"What do..." Athelstan was about to ask but finally realized the implication of her words with a blush.

He may have been a monk and had never even gotten close to a woman until a few weeks ago, but he knew of the plight of women, coming about once every full moon. The fathers in the monastary had explained to him that it was a sign that a girl, once a woman, would be ready for child bearing. But he takes another look at the little one in his arm right now and questions if what he was taught was accurate.

"I tummy aches." She added, breaking the monk's thoughts once again.

"Is that normal?" he finally asked after realizing, like many times in this strange land, he really has no idea what to do.

The sweet blonde only nods then added. "Mother said it would be normal. That it's only my body changing. Aches pains will be expected." She added.

"Then why did you not stay in bed like you were supposed to?" he again scolded her, if you could really call his gentle tone scolding.

"Because, mother has these all the time and she still works." She replied as sternly as he gentle voice could allow.

"But I'm sure you're mother has gone through this. Her body has already.. hmm.. developed and thus more capable of handling the.. ahces and pains" He tried explaining to the girl changing into a woman right in his very arms.

"I just wanted to be as strong as her." she replied. "My mother is a shieldmaiden. I've heard her tales and I've seen her fight. I only wish to be more like her."

"And you are," Athelstand replied matter-a-factly. "You are an Earl and Shieldmaiden's daughter."

"But I don't feel like I am. I feel weak. Not just in body but in words, Bjorn is the more agressive of us."

"That's not bad." He replied with a playful smile, reminding them of the firey young man.

"Yes, but I also want to be strong for my family, for her." She said with determined eyes "Especially now when she's not feeling as strong as she usually does." She added with a sadness to her voice.

Yes, she has been different since... Since they lost the child. How could she not. Athelstand could never imagine what she must be going through right now, but he has never seen her like this. And the only thing that unnerves him more than seeing Lagertha in such a state is knowing that Gyda had seen also. He shouldn't be surprised, but a big part of him feels the need to protect her. He may not be the most capable to protect her from all the evil in this world, but he could protect her from this; from fear and doubt. She may be turning into a woman but she was still very much a child in his eyes. A child who doesn't deserve to be exposed to such things, at least not now. Not yet.

"You will be." he replies with as much certainty in his voice as to when he speaks of his God. "You're already much stronger than you think." he smiles at her.

"Do you think I'll be strong enough? To be a wife? To be a mother?" She asked, finding her voice more when she is with him. "I am of marrying age now."

"I think that won't be for a couple more years." he replies, maybe needing to convince himself more than her.

"I see the men around me." she explains. "I see the way the treat their women... It scares me sometimes" She added.

He looks to her, doing his best to hide the anger he has for the fears she must be feeling right now. She shouldn't have to be. "Again, you are the daughter of an Earl and a shieldmaiden. No one will hurt you." He reassures, again himself as well as her.

"But it will happen," She finally looks him in the eyes, concern and unshed tears shining. "Thyrie was an Earl's daughter and she was married off to someone she didn't know, someone she didn't care for and didn't care for her."

"That won't happen." He replied, fully aware that he couldn't make statements like that. Not certainly. And he started to get scared too.

"But it could," she repeated, ducking her head down and closer to him. The monk is scared she might be crying. "Can I ask you of something?" She asked softly.

"I don't want that... at least not... not for my first" She added, refusing to look at the him in the eyes fearing whatever courage she found to voice this to anyone, especially to him, will disappear like the morning fog.

The weight of those words hung in the air choking Athelstan even more than the rope that once tied his neck so long ago. He couldn't.

"Just a kiss." She whispered.

"What?" he asked, hearing her perfectly well.

She lifts her head up only slightly. "A kiss." she repeated.

"Gyda, I..." -only had my first kiss a few weeks ago was what was screaming in his mind at that moment and wanting to omit the fact that was only because Thyrie thought he was under the influence of alcohol and fungus and was about to be killed. "I shouldn't..." he added with a small shake of his head. "Your first.. your first kiss should be from someone who.. someone you care about. Truly care about." he stuttered along.

She quickly raised her head up, meeting the monk's blue eyes. "It will be." She replied.

He looks at her, her words slowly sinking in, much slower than the blush spreading to her cheeks right before she ducked her head back again out of embarrassment.

The next words he'll say will be the gravely important. He knows he has every potential to hurt, disappoint and fail her in this very moment and that is the last thing he wants to do.

"Gyda," he says bowing his head closer to her level only to have her duck further, humiliated. He lightly touches her chin wiht his delicate fingers, drawing her face up at his. Her face so full of worry finally meets his but her eyes still cast down. "Look at me," he orders gently. When she finally does, she sees a sweet smile on his face, framed by his beard and kindness in his eyes that ease her fears.

"I'd be honored" he said so sweetly right before he guided her with his hand on her chin closer to his face.

She closes her eyes then suddenly felt warmth and softness against her lips. It was light but she felt like she could feel it from her toes to, to the tips of her fingers all the way up to spine and her heart. His lips slightly moved against hers. A little dry and a little wet all at the same time. This was nothing like the kisses on her forehead or on her cheeks. The sensation was absolutely new and different. It made her light-headed but before she it could overwhelm her, it ended.

Her lips now felt cooler from the lost of his. Her body felt light, as if floating, any aches or pains were forgotten. Before the sensation totally left her she smiled as she bit her lip between ther teeth as if saving the feel and taste of him. It was none like anything she ever felt before and he honestly believes it's nothing she'll ever feel again.

His fingers never leaves hr chin. He pulls away only slightly, leaving the young girl's face in suspension. Her eyes still closed. Her cheeks rosier than ever before and a satisfied hum from her chest and her throught. She finally opens her eyes, now sparkling an all new depth, like fresh new confidence and assurances and feeling he had caused some bit of that made whatever hesitation he had before melt away with a more carefree grin on his face.

"I should take you inside now," he replied. "You need rest."

She only nods her reply as she lets him help her up to her once shaky legs.

But before they left to go back inside the house she holds his his hand, looks right at him and says with a grateful smile. "Thank you,"

"It was my honor." He replies with a grateful smile himself. Before holding her her hand and leading her back inside the house.