**Spoiler Season 5 Finale - 5.24 Watershed - **

This takes place after the scene shown in the first sneak peek revealed for the season finale. Just my shot at what could be their conversation about that. Though I'm pretty sure it won't happen that way. We'll see. Nothing funny about it but I hope you'll enjoy anyway!

It's Not Just About You

Chapter 1

Last night had been tough. He had left her place, had ignored her calls and had not showed up at the precinct the next morning. When she called him in the late afternoon inviting him to their special place, she knew it would be a complicated discussion they were about to have. But it was necessary, inevitable.

She was walking toward the swing set when she saw that Castle was already there, sat on his swing, gazing in the distance. She quietly approached, nervously putting her hair behind her ear as she sat down on the swing next to him. The tension was palpable. Castle didn't even look at her as he kept gazing in the distance.

"Any word from DC yet?" he asked.

Kate took a moment before answering. She had received an answer already. It was probably not the one he would want to hear as it was making things even more complicated for them.

"Yes," she paused. "If I want it, the job is mine," she said waiting for his answer.

Castle nodded, thinking. He had never doubted she could get the job. He would have even been supportive had she told him about the offer before taking the interview.

"You should take it," he said very calmly. He didn't leave her time to answer. Actually, she couldn't answer even if she wanted to. She was speechless. He had sermoned her about how this job would jeopardize their relationship and now he was giving her permission to accept it. "If that's what you want, if that's what matters to you, then go ahead."

"I don't understand," she eventually said. "Now you're okay with this?"

"Sometimes..." he started before exhaling strongly. "Sometimes you have to learn to let someone go. Even if it hurts."

"Castle, I don't want to-" she said, realizing what he was doing.

"This isn't about you," he quoted her. "Do you have any idea how cruel that was?" he said finally looking at her.

"I just meant that it-" she started but was soon cut off again.

"It's about my life," he kept quoting her. "Guess what? I'm part of that life. At least I'm supposed to, since we're in a relationship," he stressed, trying to keep the same calm tone all along. "Betrayed, Kate, that's how I'm feeling right now. At some point in a relationship it becomes about us. There are decisions to be made together, there are comprises to be made. Because you're not alone anymore. I don't know if you've ever been that far in a relationship before but I have. And I thought that's where we were at."

Kate took a minute before answering. This time, he sounded like it would be hard for her to make it up to him. He truly sounded hurt.

"It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission..." she said softly, hoping he'd agree with the saying.

"Crap," he answered sharply. "You think I would have convinced you not to try, not to go to that interview? How do you know? If you had explained to me why you wanted this job, why it was important to you, maybe we could have talked about it like two adults. We could have talked about moving there together, but now..." he said, shaking his head. "This is too late," Castle said looking deep into her eyes before looking away again. "You chose to do this on your own. Never mind what I thought, and what it meant for us."

"That's not true. And it shouldn't be one or the other. Why not have both? I never said I wanted to leave you for the job."

"And yet this is what it feels like. And I'm done with this," he said. Kate's heart raced. "I'm not going through this again," he warned her. Castle had been in relationships that had failed due to lies and lack of truthful conversations. "I was married before. I had serious relationships before, Kate. They left. Kyra left, Gina left and Meredith cheated on me. Tell me, how am I supposed to feel about you going solo? About you lying to me about something as important as moving to another city for a new job? About you not giving a thought about us, about where we're going-"

"Oh, I've thought about where we're going," she contradicted him. "I even asked you. But you didn't have an answer beside that lame 'to the bedroom'. I take it you were scared to answer because you had not idea how to answer this. I'm sorry, but you can't blame me for having doubts about your commitment-"

"How dare you question my commitment, Kate?" he asked stunned. "Four years I've been waiting for you. Four years where I was by your side in the worst possible moments. Look back on those times. And then look me in the eyes." Kate unconsciously obeyed. True, he had always been there for her. "After everything I've done for you, with you... you really believe I'm not committed?"

"So you're saying you know where we're going, you know where you want to go?" she asked gently as though his answer could change her priorities and her decision regarding the job offer.

"Let me tell you something Kate, something you may not know. When you love someone, when you truly, deeply love someone, like I do... you know where you want to go. There's no doubt in your mind. But you're also scared as hell. Because you know the more serious it gets, the further it goes... the harder is the fall if it fails, the more destroyed you'll feel if it fails. I've been there already. And that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm just happy it's happening now... and not five years from now, when we're married and have kids," he told her looking sharply at her.

This comment took Kate completely by surprise. So that was where he wanted to go, what he wanted for them.

"Castle, you need to understand. It looked like a great opportunity for me," she said coming back to her senses. "I have ambition, fine. I plan on not remaining a cop forever... Just like you decided you wanted bigger things and went from a story in an academy's magazine to writing best-seller novels!"

"Right!" he said standing up. "That's why you should take it," he explained sounding like it was ironical. "But please remind me, who complained about her boyfriend choosing his job over her? Oh, I believe it was you. What was his name again... Sorenson?"

Touché, she thought. He got a point there but she was not willing to admit it.

"It's different," Kate tried to defend herself.

"No, it's not," he answered in a flash.

"I didn't say I wanted to break it off-"

"Oh, so I'm just supposed to follow you to DC? Is that it? Well guess what, I'm done following you," he said before turning around to walk away.

"Rick, wait!" she exclaimed with an unsteady voice to hold him back. She quickly stood up to join him, her heart beating faster than it had ever beaten before. He slowly turned around to face her again, giving her a last chance to explain herself. "I would have told you," she said more quietly. "I never would have accepted that job without telling you about it. I never would have declined the job without telling you about it. But I didn't even think I would get it. I just wanted to see what it was like, I wanted to try something different, to give it a shot, what's wrong with that? I didn't tell you about it because I didn't think I would get this job anyway-" she explained.

"You said it would be a good opportunity. You wanted this job. Part of you rightfully believed you could do this. Don't tell me you don't feel up to it and that you don't want it."

"Okay, fine... Maybe. But I thought the odds were I wouldn't get it. I thought... why bother argue over this if nothing happens in the end, and I don't get the job? Then we would have been upset and all, all for nothing. I wanted to have a clear answer first. We could have discussed it then. And... I thought..." she said looking down, taking a minute to go on. "I didn't want to disappoint you," she admitted before looking up at him. He was looking at her, questioningly, not sure of what she meant. "The way you talk about me sometimes... You... have said several times how extraordinary I am," she said as though she didn't share his opinion. She shook her head, pensive. "I thought... if I didn't tell you, then you wouldn't see me fail in case I didn't get the job," Kate said looking down, nervously playing with her hands.

"You think... I would have thought less of you if you hadn't gotten the job?" Castle asked, confused.

"Something like that..." she said shyly, embarrassed to admit it.

Of course what he thought of her mattered, even more now that they were together.

"Do you know me at all?" he asked gently.

"I'm sorry," she said teary-eyed. "I was wrong. I'm... I don't know what to do anymore."

"Right... I can see that." Kate seemed completely lost, unable to make a decision while Castle seemed to be standing in his position, knowing full well what he wanted, what he needed. "Maybe we both need some time to think, to get our thoughts in order." Kate looked up at him with a look of fear on her face. She knew what he was implying. A pause. "I can't do this, Kate. I've been lied to in the past. I've been cheated on in the past. There's no way I'm going back to this."

"Castle-"

"I know you're a strong, determined and independent woman, Kate. That's why if we decide to go forward you need to understand, you need to learn... that you're not alone in this, that it's not just about you. I'm here. I have a word to say. It won't be just about your life anymore... but about ours."

"Okay, I understand," she said, nodding.

"No..." he said with a little smile. "You need time to understand this, to be okay... with this."

"Rick..." she said stepping forward.

Kate tried to catch a part of his shirt, like she was trying to hold on to him, but Castle took a step back. She looked desperate.

"Same time next week. Here," he told her, staring deeply at her.

It hurt like hell but it was inevitable. No pain, no gain. Maybe they would come out stronger from this. Maybe not. All he knew at this moment was that they both needed time. Apart. They needed to get their priorities straight, they needed to get their thoughts in order.

"I..." she stuttered. "I need to give them an answer."

Castle was already walking away when he turned around and shrugged his shoulders. She had not asked for advice before. He would not give her any now. It was up to her.

"It's your call. It's your life, isn't it?" he told her a little more sharply than he expected.

But maybe this would work as an electroshock for her. He hoped so. She would learn it the hard way. Either it was her, her life. Or it was them, their life.

"Just answer this..." Kate said a little louder for him to hear. "Would you follow me to DC?"

Castle turned around again and stared at her for a moment. No advice. However he was willing to give her an answer on which she could base her decision and which would allow him to understand what was important to her, once she would have made this crucial decision.

"I would have," Castle said gently. If she had asked him before even taking that interview, he would have. He would have been supportive of her, of her career. "But not anymore," he added shaking his head.

To be continued...

Reviews are always appreciated! :)

Author's Note: Given some of the reviews I got and after some thinking, I decided to keep writing and turn this one-shot into a story of several chapters.