Head of the Class

by Miz Yin

Sonic saved the world on a regular basis. But when a twist of fate sends our heroes to college, they realize that, just maybe, they can’t do everything. Throw in two madmen from the past, and the future, and college just got a lot harder!

Head of the Class

By Miz Yin

Rated M for violence, drinking, swearing, drinking, possible drug use, drinking, sexual themes, and, uh, drinking.

(You know...This fic has prompted me to draw Shadow compulsively. I hated Shadow before this fic...But...yeah; this is my second time typing this, because, well, my computer ate the file the first time. It was tragic. Oh, and...Yeah, if you notice any of the chapters happen to be named after songs, I'm sorry, but I can't help it. It fits in my head. Anyway, I probably should stick the little summary right here in case someone didn't read it...)

"Sonic saved the world on a regular basis; he thought he could do anything. But when a twist of fate (or a letter from the President) sends our heroes to college, they realize that, just maybe, they can't do everything. Throw in two madmen; from the past, and the future, sharing a plot to destroy the world, and college just got a lot harder."

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Chapter 1: The Saga Begins...

Sonic had never considered himself a normal teenager. He had never had a desire to seek out friends; they always seemed to gravitate toward him. Tails seemed to think that people their age should be in high school, or, in Sonic's case, possibly college. But, as Sonic pointed out, they weren't "normal people". Sonic had never even pondered going to school; he wanted nothing more than to spend his days doing whatever he wanted, surfing the internet, and never having to do a web search that didn't involve porn.

Well, at least on that subject he was a normal teenager.

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"Sonic! Sonic, wake up wake up wake uupppp!!!" Tails pounded on the hedgehog's front door; after a few seconds finally realizing it was open. "Sonic!!" he dashed into the house, tripping over a footstool, the sound of which woke our hero up.

"Tails, you asshole...I was having the awesome-est dream...Gawd, what's wrong with you...?" obviously not yet fully awake, but clearly already fully pissed off, "What's so important that you had to wake me up...?" Tails, not at all reacting to the anger directed at him, brandished a letter in Sonic's face, "Look. Read. It's from the President...so awesome." The letter had already been opened; he assumed by his assailant.

Sonic opened the letter groggily, "Miles Prower," he looked up at the kitsune, "Oh, how proper; they're using your full name. Oh joy. Oh rapture..." he rolled his eyes, then began to read, "It has come to our attention, through aid of the letters you have sent us, that it is high time that you and your kind..." he looked up again, "...Your kind? Are we aliens now or something?! That's just cruel." Tails shook his head, "They're humans. They don't know any better. I mean honestly, we don't drop atomic bombs on people. They make no sense sometimes...But keep reading! It gets better!!" Sonic shook his head, sighed, and kept reading

"...high time that you and your kind met the education standards of this country. Starting this term, all creatures of your kind will be required to meet the education standard," he stopped, "Tails, why am I reading this? I could be looking up porn with all the time I've wasted right here..." Tails pointed to the letter; Sonic rolled his eyes, "...starting with enrollment at a credited school appropriate to your age and IQ..." Sonic looked up again. Tails yelled, "What the hell is it now!?" "They're..." he shuddered, "Sending us to high school?" "No, you idiot!! Here," Tails yanked the letter out of Sonic's hand, "...Age and IQ, yadda yadda, ANYWAY, The one's known as Sonic, Knuckles, yadda yadda and of course, yourself, Miles, will be attending Red Ridge Community College to catch up on what you've missed in fourteen or so years. See, Sonic, they're sending us to COLLEGE!"

"College?"

"Yes."

"College?"

"Oh boy, you need this more than I thought!"

"No, Fox-boy, I know what college is. That's not why I'm tripping. Isn't college that place that humans go to go to wild parties and drink and fuck and stuff?" Tails winced at Sonic's choice of word for intercourse; he was a bit of a prude. He being 15, it's not too hard to imagine. "Yes, Sonic, people do have sex in college. But not everybody. It's not just a place for wild parties. Hard work is done, and—" "Heh. You said hard..." "Sonic, are you high?" "No."

"College is about learning a bunch of material about something that you care about. I know what I'm going to study. I'm sure that college has something you want...Right?" "You mean other than wild parties?" "Yes." "Do they have a place where you can just run? All you want? All day? Oh, and a weight room?" "Yes, most colleges have Phys. Ed. You can even do this thing called 'majoring', and that means that, after a year or so, you can take just Phys. Ed. Classes. Oh, but you might have to take—" "I'M IN!" "But you still have to take Ma—" "I'm STILL in!" Tails sighed; there's just no teaching that hedgehog.

"So, when do we start?" asked Sonic. "Well, the term starts the...twenty-fourth of this month. Two Mondays from now. So we're going to have to register quick; we might have to deal with waitlists and all, because we're so late..." "Sonic doesn't wait for anyone!" "It's a waitlist. It means that, if people decide to not take the class, we get their spot." "Oh. So when do we get to register?" Tails smirked, hiding the letter behind his back, "After we tell everyone else we know about it. They only sent the letter to me." "Who do we have to tell?" "I think everyone but Eggman," he laughed.

As the two headed for the door, (Sonic cursing the sun for being up so early), Tails crumpled the letter, looked at it, and wedged it under a bookshelf. He'd come back for it later. After all, the last thing he wanted was for Sonic to see that last bit, "We did not send this letter to the majority of your kind, Miles. We feel that you, and the one called Rouge, were the only one with sufficient knowledge to understand the contents of this letter."

Tails smirked as he looked at the shoddy hiding place. "He'll never even look for it," he grabbed the pamphlets that had arrived with the letter, "Sonic, wait up!" and the two left.

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"No."

"C'mon on, Shadow!"

"No."

"Shadow, it's not like you have a choice. It's the law now!"

"Tails, it's not like that matters to me. I mean, honestly, it's me. Remember that crazy month where I started using guns to seemingly randomly off monsters and military alike? I download pirated hentai every Saturday. I—" Sonic interrupted, "Hey, Saturday's my porn night too!" "Shut up. Anyway, laws don't matter to me. And why the hell would I want to go to some big building where humans brainwash the weak?"

Sonic stepped up, dropping the pamphlets in Shadow's lap, "Listen to me, faker," before the black hedgehog could interject, "College is possibly the coolest place that a guy can go to. It's like a giant club, with women, booze, and parties every night. The whole place is just full of things to experiment with. I mean, honestly, any woman you want, or, in your position, I guess any men you want, too. Except me. You can't do anything to me; my ass is a nun. And another thing—"

By this time, Shadow wasn't listening to Sonic anymore. He had turned his attention to Tails, who was explaining what college actually was, "Yeah, and you can do this thing called 'majoring', where you can take more of the one kind of class you like." "You mean, I could study genetic engineering; biotechnology, things like that?" "Yeah! But, you know, it's not a big university; you might have to take less advanced classes until you get this thing called a degree. Once you have that, you can go to a place that just teaches science." "Are you serious?" "Of course, Shadow. Why would I lie about learning? You guys really don't know anything about college, do you?" "Not really," Shadow admitted, "I was the experiment, not the experimenter. I never really thought about where scientists come from; just that I wanted to be one." Sonic shouted, "You can experiment all you want in college, just not with me! My ass is a nun!" "BUTT OUT SONIC!" the two shouted. Sonic retorted with, "I told you, not me!" he pointed to his rear, "It's a nun." "Sonic, why don't you just go check out Shadow's porn collection or something. You aren't adding to this conversation." "Right-o," and Sonic headed to the other room.

"So...a degree in Biology, you said? How does that work...?"

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"Damn, woman! Why do you keep doing this to me!? What the fuck is wrong with you!?" the three heard from the other side of the door. They were at Knuckles and Rouge's apartment to share the 'good news', but by the sound of it, they weren't in a mood to hear it. "Well FORGIVE me for not thinking that oatmeal is dinner food! I mean, why don't you make me salmon anymore? What did I do to deserve oatmeal?!" Regardless, they had to knock.

Knuckles opened the door, "Oh thank god," he slumped against the doorframe, "Rouge, we have company!" Sonic strolled in, Tails and Shadow in tow; Shadow whispered, "Trouble in paradise?" "Bite me."

"Oh, good, a bunch of people to see us fight. I don't know why you think that making me feel bad is so...much...fun...Waaaah!" Rouge ran screaming into the other room. Knuckles looked pleadingly at the other three, "You have no fucking idea what this bitch has been putting me through...I mean, for god's sake, I understand she has PMS, but this is fucking ridiculous!! It's OATMEAL! Oatmeal is good! Everyone likes oatmeal..." he trailed off and slumped onto the loveseat. Sonic sat down next to him.

"It's okay, man," Sonic threw his arm around Knuckles' shoulder, "We all know she's crazy. We're all just surprised you've lasted this long sharing an apartment with her..." Knuckles shook his head, "I mean, I don't understand why she gets so angry all the fucking time...And when she's not screaming at me, it's so awesome...I mean, it's like..." he trailed off again, shaking his head with a slight smile. "You don't have to say it. We know the sex is great," Shadow laughed. The echidna shot him a glare.

"Seriously, it's...it's like it's not even worth it anymore. I just can't get up the courage to tell her I want to move out..." "Well then, just tell her in a letter—" "Tails, that never works," Sonic rolled his eyes. "Why'd you guys come over here, anyway?"

Tails' eyes brightened, "Look! We get to go to college!" "Like, a day trip?" "No, like, we're getting enrolled," sighed Shadow, sitting down on the arm of the couch. "See, look at these brochures—Sonic, don't say it! Let him read the pamphlets! Don't say it!" Tails waved a finger in his face, "You need to read them too!"

Rouge came back into the living room, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, "And another thing—Oh, guests. Sorry. I'm just having...a rough day..." she sniffed loudly, not earning the sympathy of any of the men. She noticed Knuckles flipping through the leaflets, "What are you reading, sweetie? Can I see it?" He tossed her one of the campus guides, and turned to Tails, "You seem to get all this. Does this place have a class where I can study, like, history? Ancient cultures? Shit like that?" "Yeah, that's called a History Major, right Tails?" Shadow said, trying to sound smart. "Yep! That's it, Shadow! Yeah, Knuckles, you can study all the history you want...I don't know if they have classes on the history of your people, but maybe they'll have other classes you can take."

"I'm in," he said slowly, then, turning to Rouge, "I'm moving out."

"What did you say?"

"I said, I'm moving out, Rouge. I'll get my own apartment. I'm ending it. I can't stand living with you. Two years with you is two years too long. Do I need to say it any other way? Or are you just too emotional to understand common English?"

"Rouge? Not to interrupt..." Tails said slowly as Rouge sputtered, trying to say something, anything cruel, but her mouth couldn't seem to spit out the words. "...But I have some news for you. That's why I brought these pamphlets. See, the government is sending us to college. That's what Knuckles is talking about. We're going to Red Ridge, see, and—" "I'm not going back to college."

Before she realized she had said 'back', the group was bombarding her with the same question, "You've been to college before!?!"

Rouge sighed, "I hadn't wanted to tell you guys. It was before I met you...You all know the story about how I started working for the government?" She was met with blank stares from everyone but Knuckles, who was glowering at her. "No? Then I guess I better...ugh, I hate this story...Well, when I was about seventeen, I heisted a fabulous jewel from the Smithsonian...it was gorgeous, I have to say. I'm rather proud of that part...Anyway, the government had to do a huge cover-up...they didn't let me keep the necklace, but that's not the point. They said that they wanted me in one of their covert operations groups, but that I didn't have the training necessary...so they sent me to an academy; basically a spy boot camp. The classes were all college level; I was eighteen by then; I graduated by age twenty...that was five years ago."

The group stared at her.

"What?"

"We want to hear the rest!" said Tails.

"That was it! It was hell, I graduated, I started working for the government, I quit for about two years after the Biolizard incident; worked on and off for a while...and now I'm 'retired' at the age of 25. That's it. That's the whole story. I'm never going back to college. I paid my dues."

"Rouge, you don't have a choice. You could study government there if you wanted to; you know, get back at the machine!" said Sonic, finally seeming to get a grip on what college was. "What do you think I studied at my last college, moron!" she snapped, "If I was going to study anything, it would be, like, gems. Things you'd use to become a jeweler!"

The group fell silent.

Rouge broke the silence again, "What?!"

Tails said cautiously, "They have a good Geology program..."

"Well then," Rouge beamed, frightening the men with her startling bipolar-ness, "I'm in!"

As the three men left, Knuckles grabbed Tails by the arm, "That is why I'm moving out."

Shadow was in the lead as the others walked out the door; Tails was lagging behind, scribbling down the school's website address so the two could register without him, "Now all you have to do is pick the classes. Here are your IDs for signing on; don't worry about tuition or books; the government is picking up the tab for the first term. You guys should look into getting jobs though; in a term or so, they're going to make you pay by yourself."

Knuckles stood in the window as the others left the apartment complex. He rubbed his face with his hand, "What have I gotten myself into...?"

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Back at Tails' house, Sonic was on the boy genius's computer. Looking for porn, obviously, but none was to be found on the foxboy's hard drive.

"Tails? What gives? Why don't you have any porn on your computer?" "I never...felt a need...for it." "Well then, does this thing have internet?" "Yes, and I need to use it. I need to send a message to Espio and the gang, and one to Vanilla, too." "May I ask why?" Sonic asked sarcastically. "Because Knuckles is going to email the Chaotix boys, and I need to tell Vanilla about all of this, and see if she'll take in Charmy for the term. He'll be in Cream's school this year. Espio and his guys are going to one on the west coast, I think. They're not going to Red Ridge..."

"When do we register?"

"Tonight. We have to hit Amy's house later, too, before we register. I have to give her this," Tails held up a booklet with a small square of paper stapled to it, "It's her schedule."

Sonic collapsed onto Tails' bed, sighing deeply, "I hate Amy. Do I have to go to her house?"

"Yes."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Do I have to?"

"Ask one more time and I'll shoot you in the head, twice," Shadow growled through gritted teeth.

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"Sonikuuuu!" Amy squealed when she tackled the blue hedgehog as he walked through the door, "I've missed you Soniku!" Sonic sighed and attempted to shove her off. She took the hint and stepped back, "So, why are you guys here?"

Tails walked in the door, pamphlets in hand, "Here. I'm getting tired of explaining it. Read. Learn. High School."

As Amy continued to squeal with glee, Shadow wandered over to a large bookcase; he'd never been in the pink hedgehog's house before. He ran his hands over the spines of classic novels, and, oddly enough, a large span of shojo manga. One title caught his eye, "Fall in Love Like a Comic?" he thought, and quietly removed the issue from the shelf. Blushing in embarrassment, he flipped through the pages, hoping nobody noticed.

His ears perked up when he heard Amy's indignant voice arguing with the other two men, "But I don't want to do track, or Mathletes, Tails, I want to do something I like! Doesn't this school have something fun??"

Shadow looked up from the book, sliding it back onto the bookshelf, "Ever heard of cheerleading, Amy? It sounds like it's right up your alley."

Amy's eyes widened.

Sonic and Tails looked shocked.

"What? I read the high school pamphlet. I was bored," hissed Shadow.

Amy ran across the room and tackled Shadow in a manner not unlike what she'd done to Sonic just minutes before, "Oh Shadow, you're right! Thank you! It's going to be so fun; I'll dedicate my first cheer to you!! Oh, thank you thank you thank you!!!" Shadow blushed; who wouldn't when someone so cute hugged them? He was definitely not used to that...

Sonic felt an unfamiliar thump in the bottom of his stomach, "What the hell was that?" he thought, having no idea where the odd feeling came from, "...did I eat something funky? I don't think I ate anything today...What the hell...Oh well, it's gone now," he lied to himself, trying to ignore the feeling.

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When the group finally arrived back at Tails' house, none of them wanted to stay up any later. It had been a long day, and all they sought to do was go to sleep.

Except for, of course, Sonic, who wanted to surf the web for porn.

Tails beat him to the computer, "We need to register," he moaned as he held Sonic back at arms length, his hand over the blue hedgehog's face, "I'll even do it for you! You'll have Math, English, Science, History, and then a PE class. Just go home! Do the porn thing there!"

Sonic slumped back and headed out, turning around at the door, opening his mouth, closing it, and finally leaving after being unable to come up with a smartass remark.

"Finally," sighed Shadow, pulling up a chair next to Tails, "Now, I want the same classes as you, but substitute whatever extra Math class you have for a Biology class, okay?" he leaned back in the chair, "I have issues with the internet when it comes to government stuff. I had a bad experience back when I was all 'emo'."

"You mean with Espio and Black Do—"

"Yes. Let's not talk about it."

"Got it."

After a few moments, Tails spoke again, "Right click...and...Done. We're registered. I hope Rouge calmed down enough to help Knuckles register. He's completely computer illiterate..."

Both of them went quiet again.

Shadow broke the silence, "Do you plan on trying to get a girlfriend? I mean, I know it's only been five years since Cosmo..." he trailed off, seeing the look on Tails' face.

"I've been listening to this song a lot," Tails said, clicking on his music player, typing in a few words, "It's really been making me think about her. I don't want to think about her sometimes. But this song makes me think...of her..." Another click and a song began to play. Tails mouthed the words as it played,

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone...

Tears streamed down the fox's cheeks, but he didn't seem to notice. Shadow was dumbstruck; he had no idea that Tails felt so...so like him...

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

Tails sniffed lightly, speaking the next words in the song,

"I miss you..."

Shadow knew the song. He too, had been listening to it lately. It reminded him of Maria...it was painful to hear the song, to have to live in those memories for the few minutes it played...

Shadow started mouthing the words as well.

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK

"I miss you..." Tails trailed off, looking over to see Shadow crying right along with him.

"I had no idea."

Tails forced a smile, "That's the point. Nobody my age should be crying like this over a girly song. It's just...I know that I didn't know her for very long. I know that these feelings aren't justified—"

"Yes they are."

"Shadow, I really don't want to talk about this tonight. I just want to go to sleep. I have to get up at five in the morning, and—"

"Why do you have to get up at five?"

"I've, uh, I've..." Tails blushed.

"YOU'RE LOOKING UP PORN?"

"No, no, nothing like that! I've been chatting with this...girl. She lives in, well, China. She's a Panda."

"And her name...?" inquired Shadow, not realizing how much the two now sounded like schoolgirls.

"Uh, she goes by KT online, but her real name is Keiti."

"And she's how old?"

"Sixteen..." Tails blushed again.

"Dude!" the two clasped hands, "Older woman!"

Tails yawned, "Anyway, I'm going to sleep. Do you want to stay the night?" "No...I'm not too tired to run home. I'll see you two weeks from now. Good luck with KT!"

"'Night!" Tails called after Shadow as he sprinted out the door.

The fox hit the power button on the computer and sluggishly wandered to his bed, gleeful that his dream of college was finally coming true.

And he wondered if Shadow had noticed that Amy had been blushing, too.

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MN-Miz Notes:

Gawd, I hate not being able to upload this as soon as I finish.

Anyway, what did you think? The rewrite ended up being almost two pages longer than the original, and I have to say, I'm more proud of this new version. I love how some of the scenes turned out. It's midnight; I'm sure there'll be typos...I'll fix them as I find them.

And don't worry; I'm not going to stick the two weeks before school in there. It'd take too long to write, and nothing really happens until the school starts.

So this was all setup; character introductions and such. Only one main character hasn't been introduced, and she comes into the story in the next chapter.

However, I will NOT continue the story if nobody reviews this. I'm putting this on Gaia Online under the account of The Tanuki Drow, on under the penname of Miz Yin, and on Deviant Art under the account Mizyin, so if you see it elsewhere, alert me, please.

It gets better, I swear!

Jaa ne,

Miz Yin