Hello, Hello, Hello! I am writing this most likely because I am on a 2 am sugar high. So sit back, relax, and hopefully laugh. Oh and this story contains spoilers.
This story is entirely from Ginny's POV, at least I think it is. By the way Ginny is going into her 6th year.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything cuz the characters are all JKR's and I don't think the plot is mine cuz I've been reading to many fics kind of like this so ya I don't own nothin' except the computer I am typing this on and even that belongs to the whole family. I don't own the plot for the beginning of the story either cuz I got that from another fic I read and as of write now the author of that fic is the only one who can sue me cuz I didn't really ask to use the idea. I'm sorry. Well enough talk from me. ONWARD WITH THE POINTLESS STORY!
ATTACK OF THE PEEP BUNNIES!
I woke up in my newly painted blue bedroom. It was so much nicer than it was when it was pink. I looked at my clock. 6:30 . What should I do today I wondered. I glanced at the calendar that was on the wall. What day was it again. Let's see it was Saturday yesterday so it must be Sunday. WAIT! Yesterday was August 31st. That means summers over. Darn. Well I better get packing. How could I not remember that school starts today? How could mom not remember to tell us that school starts today? What ever. At least I finished all of my homework last week.
Narrator:
She got up and went downstairs to see if her mom was making breakfast. Sure enough there she was cooking away.
"Ginny could you please go wake up your brother?" Her mom asked.
"Sure mom, but what day is it?"
"Good question. Let's see… no…no that was last week…no… WHAT!"
"What's wrong mom?"
"Today's September first! Go wake Ron up and tell him to pack. You pack too. Then you guys can come down and have breakfast. Give me all your dirty clothes so I can wash them and hopefully dry them before we have to leave…" and Mrs. Weasley just kept mumbling on and on about stuff they had to do.
Ginny on the other hand ran up to Ron's room and pounded on the door.
"Ron! Wake up! RON! WAKE UP! I'm coming in there!" and indeed she did go in. she turned the door handle very slightly to the right and then one whole turn to the left and the door swung open. She went over to his bed, stood right next to his ear and screamed "RON WEALEY, GET OUT OF BED THIS INSTANT!" Ron immediately jumped out of bed, looked around confused, and then he fell to the floor.
"Wad ya have to do that for Ginny?"
"Mom told me to come wake you up."
"But it's only 7:00."
"Ya, I know but we have to pack if we want to go to school at all this year, and considering it normally takes you two or three hours to pack I suggest you get a move on cuz the Hogwarts Express leaves at 11:00 sharp on September 1st and it is September 1st. Oh ya! Give mom all you dirty close right away so she can wash them and so that you'll still have time to pack them after they're washed. That is all." And she skipped happily out of the room and into hers so that she could go pack.
Ginny's POV:
Where did I put those socks again? Oh Ya! There in my cauldron. But where did I put my cauldron? I'm sure it's in here someplace. My room isn't very big so it shouldn't be that hard to find. Aha! I found you. Ok, I'll just shove my cauldron and socks into my trunk and go get all of the laundry from mom.
"MOM! Is the laundry done?"
"Yes dear, here you go. Hurry up and finish packing. Then maybe you can help your brother. Were going to have to leave by 9:30 because we have to get school supplies. The letters just arrived. I guess were not the only things running late…"
I ran off to my room to finish packing. Of course I didn't fold everything and put it in I just kind of crammed it in my trunk and closed it. There was a knock at my door.
"Come in."
"Ginny dear, I'm off to get your and Ron school supplies. Be good. Finish packing. Make sure Ron finishes his packing. I'll only be gone for a little while…"
"Ok mom, I get it. See you later." And I ran out of my room and over to Ron's. The door was open so I went in. "Hurry up and finish packing."
"Fine, but since when have you been in charge?"
"Since I finished packing first."
A/N I know this is boring but it felt like I kinda needed to put something sane and boring in a fic that is about to turn complete crazy. I'll just skip to the next day. There already at Hogwarts and Ginny is just waking up. Everything was normal at the feast. Nobody was weird. Everybody was there, at least student wise, except Harry cuz he said he wouldn't come back. McGonagall is Head mistress and they have a new potions master, transfiguration teacher, and DADA teacher although none of the new teachers were at the start of term feast so none of the students have seen them yet.
Narrator
Ginny had just woken up. She got dressed and went down to the common room. It's only 6:30 so she decides to go down to breakfast at 7:00. She sits down in one of the squashy armchairs and waits. Just as she sits down she hears
"Hi, Ginny." It was Luna. She was sitting in an armchair right next to Ginny's.
"Luna, um, how did you get in here? You're in Ravenclaw."
" Not anymore. Now I'm in Slytherin."
"Ok… but if you're in Slytherin than how come you're in the Gryffindor Common Room?"
Luna was just about to answer but then Ron came skipping down the stairs. He was dressed in a frilly pink dress, with diamond earrings.
"Hi Ginny, Hi Luna. Lovely day isn't it?"
"Um Ron where did you get those clothes?" Ginny asked him.
"I've had them since I was in second year. You'd be surprised how well Lockhart can sew a dress right after he's been hit by a memory charm. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go me Draco. We are going to have a snog fest in the Entrance hall."
"Oh no your not," Said a squeaky voice. "Because Malfoy is mine. And if you don't leave him alone, I, fluffy bunny man will get you!"
There standing in the entrance/exit hole was Harry Potter dressed in a fluffy pink bunny suit.
"WAIT!" Ginny screamed. "Does this mean that both of you are gay!"
"YES!" They both shouted at the same time. "AND PROUD OF IT!"
Suddenly Hermione came down.
"Hi, hic, guys. Anyone, hic, want a beer?"
" I do!" Said the most girlish voice you could imagine. It was Draco Malfoy. He was dressed in a hot pink dress with pictures of butterflies and rainbows on it. He had on deep red lipstick and purple eye shadow that went up to his eye brows. "Won-Won why are you keeping me waiting?"
"Coming Draco," Ron replied and as they left Harry/fluffy pink bunny man followed them.
"HEY! Why'd you have to do that?" Ginny asked.
"Do what?" I said.
"Make Harry, Malfoy, and my brother gay."
"Oh. That. Well mostly because I am on a sugar high and it is 2 am, plus it is funny. But don't worry, I'm normally a H/G shipper so you two will be together in all of my other fics."
"Ginny," Luna said. "Who are you talking to?"
"Ya. Who are you talking to Ginny?" I said.
"YOU!"
"You're talking to me?" Luna asks.
"NO! I'm talking to the author of this story."
"Oh, ok then. But let me warn you this author, don't put anything past her."
"Well said Luna, well said. But I think you guys should pay attention to the other character in the story because she is about to die unless you help her in 5…"
"What other character?" Ginny asks.
"4…"
Luna stands there rocking back and forth on her feet whistling
"LUNA! TELL ME WHO THE OTHER CHARACTER IS!" Ginny screamed.
"3… and I suggest you not yell or I'm going to kill her faster."
"WHO ARE YOU GOING TO KILL!" Ginny screamed again.
"2… and if you can't figure out who it is then just look around. If you still can't figure out who it is by the time I get to 1 then I suggest you exit the Common Room immediately and get out of the castle."
"What? BUY WHY? WHATS GOING ON? Why should we leave?"
"Bye Ginny. I don't want to get killed in the fire so I'm gonna leave." Luna told her.
"What fire? And how do you know there is going to be a fire?"
"1… and she knows because I tell her my good plans. You see since I can't talk to Nicole right now because it is the middle of the night I tell Luna all my plans. That's how she got in here in the first place. Now I suggest you (a) look towards the fire or (b) exit the castle. If you'll excuse me I have to go and make sure that Luna gets away so, um, bye."
" Look towards the fire? Ok… how will that help me save someone… HERMIONE! GET AWAY FROM THE FIRE!"
For Hermione had been slowly walking towards the fire. Ginny pulled her back. No Hermione. Don't go near the fire. Sit right here. And so Hermione sat in the arm chair and then about a minute later she screamed and died.
" OH MY GOD! HEMIONE! What did you do?"
"Who? Me?" I asked innocently.
"Yes, YOU!"
"Why I didn't do anything. What are you talking about?"
"Yes you did. You killed her!"
"Actually no I didn't. I made Fred and George kill her. FRED! GEORGE! COME IN HERE!" there was a loud pop and both Fred and George appeared. Suddenly Hermione comes back to life and says
"HEY! You can't apparate or disapparate inside of Hogwarts."
"That's why well killed you. You take all the fun out of stuff and are an insufferable know-it-all." Said Fred.
Hermione dies again.
"I'M GONNA HEX YOU TWO LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW!" Ginny screamed.
"I highly doubt that," I said to her.
"And why is that?" she asked.
"Because, you have no wand. I took it from you."
"No you didn't," she said holding it in the air.
Then her wand fly's out of her hand and into mine.
"Now I did. Fred, George, your work is done here. Bye." And then they apparated away.
"Sorry Ginny, but I had to do it. She had no point. Her point in stories was for her to be Ron's girlfriend but because he is gay there is not need for her. Of course your purpose is to be Harry's girlfriend and he is also gay but I like you so I won't kill you. But enough dawdling. You missed breakfast and are going to be late for class."
"BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MY SCHEDULE IS!"
"But I do. First is Potions, then Transfiguration, then DADA and then lunch. Better Hurry you don't want to be late."
" Fine, I'm going, I'm going."
And she left the Common Room at a sprint and started running to the dungeons. But when she got to the dungeons they didn't look like dungeons at all. Instead they looked like her old bedroom. The walls were pink and there were bunnies all over. There was fuzzy pink carpet on the floor. There was a large light pink shelf that had a pink lamp on it and the part that the lamp wasn't on was covered in stuffed animals. In fact if she didn't know any better she would have thought that it was her bedroom minus the bed and that it was bigger. She stared at it in disgust. Kids were still coming in and as soon as they walked in the stopped. Everybody was just standing there until a singsong voice said
"Come sit down my little chickadees."
They all look towards the voice expecting to see a girl but instead there was an old man sitting there. He had a long pink beard and was wearing pink robes covered in bunnies. His hair was cut short and was bubble gum pink. Everyone just stared at him.
" Little chickadees, come sit down in a circle."
He motioned for them to come over to him and they did as they were told.
" My name is Professor Bunnyhop and I will be your potions master. First I think it would be nice if you all told me your names. We'll go around the circle. Let's see, who should I start with. Ah, yes, I'll start with this little chickadee right here." He said pointing to Ginny. " Go on now, don't be shy. Tell us your name and how you fell about the color pink."
At this Ginny freaked. What kind of teacher asks his students about how they feel about a color?
"My name is Ginny Weasley and I hate the color pink." They went around the circle and most of the boys liked pink while the girls did not. Suddenly the bell rang.
" That's all we have time for today my little chickadees. See you next time."
Ginny's POV even thought we were already on her POV
That was weird. Whatever. Are new transfiguration teacher can't be as weird as he was.
Narrator
She found out soon that she was wrong. There new transfiguration teacher was weirder than their potions one. He…she…it was a orange and black octopus, teddy bear, flower. It spoke in a blank voice so that didn't help them know what gender the creature was.
" Hello class. I am your new transfiguration teacher. I will teach you how not to become what I am. It was a very horrible accident that happened."
Then suddenly fluffy peep bunnies busted down the door. They started jumping on peoples heads. The teacher continued on like nothing was happening and then jumped on its desk and yelled "SNOG FEST!" Then Harry/Fluffy bunny man, Ron, and Draco come running in yelling " SNOG FEST?" closely followed by Neville who was wearing a skirt, a tube top, and feather boa which were all pink and then singing "I'm a little tea pot." It was chaos indeed, but nobody except Ginny seemed to think anything weird of it. Thankfully the bell rang. Ginny was just about to the door when all of a sudden the peep bunnies attacked her.
"Geroff, Geroff," she said hoping that somebody would come help her but they didn't. The Ginny realized that the peep bunnies were saying something. What was it that they were saying. She listened real hard but the most she could hear was mufific, she listened again. Musfific. She was pretty sure the first word was must. Or maybe it was all one word. Maybe they were saying muffin.
"Are you saying muffin?" she asked the peep bunnies.
I who was behind her laughed. "Muffin. You think they're saying muffin? Well they're not."
"Then what are they saying?"
"You have to figure that one out on your own."
" Why? Do you not know?"
"Of course I know what they are saying. I created them, well kinda. I brought them to life. The people at the candy factory made them."
"Can you get them off me?"
"Of course I can."
"Will you get them off me?"
"I don't know. It's really funny watching them. Maybe if you ask nicely though…"
"GET THESE &#$! THINGS OFF ME!"
"First off all you didn't ask nicely, secondly please don't swear, you'll bring up the rating. But now that I think about it I'll let them off of you. I wouldn't want you to miss DADA now would I?" Grins evilly " Wefificdtwry." The peep bunnies immediately stopped and got off of Ginny.
"Thanks. What did you tell them anyways?"
" I told them something that made them under control for the moment. You see they're under contract and when ever I say that thing I said they have to stop what they're doing and come to me. Plus they really like it when I say that. It gives them more things to think up. Now get along to DADA I wouldn't want you to be late."
"I'm going."
She went to DADA and when she got there it was the strangest thing she had ever seen. There at the front of the class was what appeared to be a huge green bunny rabbit. She took her seat and waited to see if it would talk.
" Hello I am Professor Purple ears. Today we are going to learn about the proper way to do things that you never knew about. First of all I would like you to take out a pair of underwear and put them on your head. Very good, very good. Let's continue shall we?" the bear said even though about the whole class didn't have underwear on there heads. " Next take out your bottles of white out and start sniffing them." At this most of the class was rummaging through their bags in search of white out, many where just staring. They had never heard of white out. The suddenly the door burst open. In walked the peep bunnies in 3 straight lines. There was a line of pink ones, a line of yellow ones, and a line of blue ones, and right behind them was me. There were about 15 bunnies in a line. Each one was holding a basket that had 3 sets of paper in it. By sets I mean two little strips of paper with writing on them stapled together is a set. I was just about to set the bunnies lose and let them hand out the paper. It went something like this…
" Bunnies do your jo…"
Just then Professor McGonagall bursts in.
"Guess what everybody?" she asks.
" What?" everybody replies.
" I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!"
crickets chirp
" Well I just though you might want to know…"
she leaves
" Well as I was saying… BUNNIES DO YOUR JOB!" The bunnies then started to hand out papers to everyone in the class.
" What does this mean?" asked a boy with blond hair.
"Ya!" Said the girl sitting next to him.
Soon a mummer of talk broke out amongst the students.
"QUITE! The bunnies have something to say."
The bunnies were now at the front of the class in there color coded lines.
"Bunnies," I said. " Tell us what you want to say."
"FIC OVER!"
Well there you have it. A weird fic from when I was on a sugar high at 2 am. The reason it started out normal was because I wasn't on a sugar high then. Oh ya I like the twins a lot but I thought it would be funny if they killed her. I don't really know why but I did. And one more thing I was not paid by the company that makes peeps or the Geico car insurance company to write that. It was just the first thing that came to mind.
Please tell me if you enjoyed my story. If you give it a flame that's ok to though because I give them to Fred and George so that they can use them to make more Weasley Wildfire Whiz-bangs.
Cheers, Merry Christmas,Happy Halloween, HappyEaster, even though it's Labor day,and don't forget to review! Plus you will recieve a free cookie if you review.