So the only way the homunculi would get out of this was if one of them confessed, kind of like mercy. You know mercy? That random game where you twist someone's arm, and the first one to beg for mercy loses.

I'm actually writing two stories at once which I really shouldn't be doing. But I couldn't really help it, I thought it would be funny to write this and so I did it. Besides this one won't have like 30 chapters. But there is no way I'm giving up on my other story; I'm just having trouble coming up with something. I went over sea's to meet fourteen of my cousins, and brought my book I write fanfic's in with me. But every time I was writing they kept asking if it was a diary. It was pretty annoying!

Rated T because I'm scared and because of some little colourful language.

CONTAINS SPOILERS!

So turn back now if you haven't watched all of brotherhood yet!

I apologise for any bad punctuation, I'm working on it!

I do not own Fullmetal alchemist or Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

Chapter 1

Punishment revealed

Envy's POV

So here we are waiting in a lounge room in Central command, not the most ideal place for us homunculi, but hey at least they had sofas, right? Finally something that wasn't as hard as father's lair.

Sleeping on the floor underneath father wasn't at all comfortable, unlike a pillow where your face sinks in; gravity forces your check bone to slam into the hard concrete floor, not to mention it felt as cold as an icepack. I looked up at wrath who was leaning against the wall polishing his sword out of what seemed to be pure boredom, I can't really say I blame the guy after all the colonel and the Fullmetal pipsqueak were taking their time, not to say that it seemed purposely done. I wasn't one bit curious on what they were planning for us, but there was no doubt that it was going to be anything but torture in hell, after all it was a punishment. I started a war so what? It's not like pipsqueak was affected or anything. But I can kind of understand why the colonel hates me so much for killing…..What was his name again? Maes Hughes or something. Anyway it was the guys own fault for sticking his nose into something that was none of his bee's wax. If he just laid low like all the other good humans in the military perhaps maybe I wouldn't of have had to kill him. But seriously the colonel has to learn how to control his anger and not to take it out on other people, gee.

But something tells me that he was going to give me more hell than anyone here, besides Fullmetal of course.

Wrath's POV

I found it quite funny that we weren't being punished for almost destroying Amestriss but rather because the other five threw a wild party at my mansion while I was gone on a business trip. The colonel didn't mind any of this until someone parked his car into the pool! Who did it I don't know, but now the colonel is going to give hell to all seven of us until someone confesses. I suppose it was one way to make the culprit talk.

I looked down at the outstretched Envy on the couch who was actually taking our punishment into consideration. It fascinated me to no end, but of course I wasn't at all shocked by his odd behaviour, as I said I was only fascinated. Edward Elric and the colonel sure were taking an awful amount of time just to figure out what they wanted to do with us. I'm not quite sure how they got us back from the gate, but whatever they did wasn't there a toll? Something just didn't add up here, how was it even possible? Why would they even want us back? Weren't we better off dead to the rest of Amestriss? I silently watched Gluttony rocking himself in a sitting position on the floor. All he was doing was putting his finger in his mouth, that was starting to irritate me, but what else did I expect of my mindless brother. I could see was Pride, who was peacefully sleeping on the couch beside me. His body was stretched out, and there were no vast movements from his shadows that were laid out on the ground, some slipping off the sofa. My eyes searched for Greed who wasn't in sight...

Where has he ran off to now?

Greelings POV

I was sitting there a while, but it got so boring I had to leave the lounge room, besides I needed the bathroom, so I managed to slip away from the others without them noticing. After locating the men's logo on the bathroom door I walked in, the restroom was surprisingly clean for a military.

*** Inside thought ***

Ling: You know Greed this is Central command?

Greed: Yeah, whatever. Can you stop popping up like that, I always end up talking out loud when you do. Hey..., Ling?

No answer...

I shrugged.

The white floor and the sinks sparkled with glee, I walked into one of the toilet cubicle's and unzipped my pants to do my business, and yes...I shut the door! I began to get that greedy sensation again, on how much I wanted Alphonse's Elric's body, if I had that I wouldn't of had to eat, sleep or go to the bath room. Unfortunately it was too late for me to get an advanced body of armour like that, Alphonse had already retrieved his real body from the gate.

Pride's POV

I felt so prideful the way I looked down on those pathetic humans, they were so easy to manipulate. I snuggled into the sofa's softness, allowing myself to slouch for the first time in what seemed to feel like 100 years. I allowed my self to stretch out my child like container onto the red soft couch, letting my eyes softly shut I dreamed of something that would pass time of worthless waiting. A white blur covered my vision as I saw Greed walk out the room, where did he think he was going? He had a lot of guts to ditch us! But in truth I couldn't have really cared, I should have been used to him leaving us like that by now. But all my thoughts vanished as the white fog covered my view completely.

*** Inside the Colonels office ***

1 hour and 35 minuets ago...

Edward's POV

I was an alchemist not a detective!

How did the colonel expect me to force information out of the homunculi, who were sitting in the lounge room doing whatever. (could we even trust them to sit there and not run off?) I didn't care about them or his stupid car, I mean it was just a car, right? Couldn't he just buy another one? Or better transmute one? I closed the door behind me as my so called 'superior' told me to sit down. I was about to gesture against me helping him but I did want to see the homunculi suffer!

So I said nothing as I took a seat across from the table, just sighing from the stupidity of this whole confession game. In some way it was like a game to the person watching, and to the contestants a game of hell. So the only way the homunculi would get out of this was if one of them confessed, kind of like mercy. You know mercy? That random game where you twist someone's arm, and the first one to beg for mercy loses. Alright, fine, maybe it's not all that stupid...I only seem to think that because Al was the one who always won.

"Fullmetal?" The colonel said, trying to get my attention. "Yeah?" I replied dully.

"What's your status on you're work so far?" I sighed, "This question again?" I asked annoyed, he nodded seriously. "Look, I can't get any information out of them yet colonel, they wont say anything, apart from telling me how short I am!" I said fiercely as I was sick of this question and sick of interrogating the homunculi. It was always the same result, this was starting to get ridiculous. "You know what you should have done?" The colonel asked me, "What? Offer Gluttony cookies to spill out the chocolate chips?" I replied annoyed at the colonels expectation of me. "No, you could have done anything but that! To get information out of a homunculus you have to put pressure on them, push them to they're limits until they repent!" I scowled, "Oh yeah, how exactly am I going to do that!" I yelled from across the table. "Why, that's why were here, we need to discuss what they're first test of endurance will be, and when the culprit is ready to confess, we'll be there witnessing every single thing they say." I was quite surprised on how seriously the colonel was actually taking this. It was just a car, why go through so much trouble for a scrap piece of metal with some kind of turbo engine? "And besides...this could be entertaining, don't you think Edward?" We'll this was a first, despite him calling me by my first name, he lightened his furious mood towards the unknown culprit.

"Alright, I'm listening," I said smiling, maybe this could be of some fun.

Gluttony's POV

I'm so hungry…..

*Stomach growls*

"Lust, I'm hungry….can I eat Roy Mustang?"

(Lust pats his head)

"No Gluttony, not today"

Lust's POV

Envy still doesn't believe were here because of a stupid car that ended up in the bottom of a pool, he thinks it's because of the 'promise day.' Sometimes I really do think that Envy's afraid of Roy Mustang, I heard that he almost got killed the same way I did...but in the worst way possible, he almost got squished under his feet in his true form too. How humiliating, I almost feel sorry for him. A large rumble interrupted my thoughts.

"Lust, I'm hungry...can I eat Roy Mustang?" Gluttony looked up at me hungrier than ever. I patted his head, "No gluttony, not today." I replied to his request, he sighed and went back to sticking his finger in his mouth. I wondered if he would ever drop that habit.

1hour and 35 minuets later...

Normal POV

As all the homunculi lazed around in boredom, all they're waiting was corrupted when Edward swung the door open, smirking as he did. After Ed walked out, happily giving his arm's a stretch the colonel came out and shut the door to his office with his fingertips, not dare looking back. "Where's Greed?" the colonel asked looking at Lust.

"Who knows," she answered back in her normal calm-full voice. "Yeah, yeah, I'm here," Greed said as he walked through the door. "Where's Pride?" Ed asked, all the others in the room pointed to the couch were Pride was peacefully sleeping. "Can you wake him up?" the colonel asked expecting them to do so, "Wake up Pride?" Greed asked shocked at the colonels request. "Isn't that what I said?"

"I'm not doing that again!" Envy exclaimed. Lust smirked, "Oh, that's right, last time you did that didn't he kill you three or four times for waking him up in a foul mode?"

All Envy could do was nod.

"All in favour of nominating Wrath to wake pride up say 'philosopher stone'!" Greed announced mockingly. The other five looked at him dully, "What's with those faces?" Greed asked already knowing the answer. "Greed does have a point though, the one closest to Pride would be you Wrath, I highly doubt that he would try to kill you?" Lust said while facing Wrath, who nodded to the idea of waking up his older brother.

Wrath slowly walked up to Pride and shook him slightly, urging him to get up. Pride's eyes immediately fluttered open, his shadows immediately active afterwards. Prides shadows were aimed at Wrath...

But he immediately withdrew them after realising who it was.

"Wrath?" Pride asked confused in his metallic voice, slowly he lifted himself of his sleeping position using his arms and then sat in an up-right position rubbing his eyes.

"Yes, it's me Pride, sorry to wake you up" Wrath apologised solemnly. "No it's quite alright Wrath, I just thought you were Greed," Pride explained through his yawning.

"Fullmetal would you like to do the honours?" the colonel asked, Edward sighed "Okay..."

All the homunculi except Sloth braced themselves for the given punishment.

"Alright we've finally come to the decision that you guys will be going...

Edward's POV

"Alright we've finally come to the decision that you guys will be going...

CAMPING!"

"CAMPING!" they all yelled in unison

"What the hell is camping?" Envy asked self-concisely

"You don't know what camping is Envy, oh that's so sad", I made my voice sound sarcastic at the end of my sentence just to annoy him; it's kind of what I do with the colonel. But seriously Envy didn't know what camping was, he should really get out more. I was about to introduce Envy to the familiarism of camping when Greeling butted in "You don't know what camping is?" He yelled out, Envy scowled "Hell no I don't, so what?" he replied. "I wasn't talking to you I was talking to Ling," everybody starred at Greed as if he was mental, dis-cluding the colonel and I of course, this didn't at all come as a surprise to us. This continued until Greeling spoke up again. "Hang on if you're gonna give me hell, you know you're doing it to the Prince of Xing as well, right," a mocking smile spread across my face. "Yeah I know, this is payback for the bill of food during the series."

11 minuets after the dramatic trauma...

Colonels POV

We meet back here tomorrow morning 5:30 sharp! No excuses for being late, that includes you Fullmetal" Fullmetal looked like he was about to blow another fuse, everyone got prepared for what was going to happen next. Nothing happened...actually he looked kind of depressed, what was up with that? It scared me a little. Trying to break the tension I spoke up, but I didn't try to sound worried "is something wrong with that time Fullmetal," he wasn't at all paying any attention to his superior, instead he was staring at the ground with wide eyes. Envy waved his hand in front of his face "Amestriss to pipsqueak." Edward blinked a few times slowly coming back to reality "Huh..." What's the matter pipsqueak is there something you have to take care of...or maybe someone?" Edward scowled and turned his face away from the others and glanced through the window with his arms crossed, "N-no, I don't know what you're talking about," a soft smile appeared on his face "well there was something important, but I think that can wait." Everyone was rather confused with Edward's strange behaviour, but he soon came back.

"But why the hell do I have to come so early?" I slowly rubbed my chin and closed my eyes for a few seconds, he did have a good point...I suppose I could change the time for him a little. "Alright then Fullmetal, I suppose I can make an exception just this once, you can come at 5 am," Edward nodded approvingly he opened the door to leave and then...

"WHAT 5AM!?"

I'm surprised it took him that long to figure it out, but yes 30 minutes earlier than planned, I had my reasons.

No longer listening to Fullmetal's rampage in the background I began to finish what I started "As I was saying, no excuses for being late, is that understood" Envy lazily put his feet up on the coffee table "Oh, and what if we don't?" he asked in a mocking tune. I looked down at him with a straight face "Those who come late will be forced to wear miniskirts." Lust and pride collapsed on the floor laughing with tears in their eyes. "What's so funny?" They tried to explain through gasps of breaths, finally they calmed down enough to tell me. "Did you really think this through?, not everyone here looks good in a miniskirt," Lust stated still laughing a bit, no longer than a second later Pride began to finish of her sentence

"Especially Gluttony, sloth and...*snickers*...Wrath!"

They cracked up one more time but this time along with Greed. Edward and Envy. I looked at the other three who didn't find it so funny; Gluttony stuck his finger in his mouth for the nineteenth time today and looked at them confused. Sloth was sleeping in the corner and Wrath was glaring at them, but mostly at Pride, no doubt he was going to murder him after this. I hate to think this but they were right. Wrath in a miniskirt..., a cold shiver ran up my spine that was just disturbing. "You can stop laughing now," I announced, but they carried on, well if there was one way to stop them it would be this...

"Those who laugh in the next 5 seconds will miraculously be wearing a miniskirt!"

Well that shut them up! "So, are we clear on what we have to do?" they all nodded "good, and remember don't be late."

Okay, sorry if this was like 78% Ooc, how was it going to be funny if I didn't?

^^;

I was trying to spread the POV's equally but it turned out harder than in thought. But I can promise you this, there is going to be more of Envy, Greed and Lust in the next chapter. I'm still trying to decide which homunculi ditched the Colonels car into the pool, it's strange how I haven't thought of it until now.

Hahahaha, anyway I've already started typing up the next chapter

'Packing for hell'