Kenopsia | Chapter 1

Hiei stood much too close to the edge of the cliffside that bordered his Bandit Father's camp. His eyes burned from the night before and made it difficult to see exactly where the edge of the rock met the sky. He was young. His features were still rounded and plump and his eyes were much too big for his face. They were vibrantly colored and many of the women in the camp admired them. They showered him with compliments though most of them talked of carving them out of his head as a trophy. He secretly craved their affections even though he would never admit to it.

The sun was rising over the Makai that morning and Hiei could feel anxiety sloshing about his insides. Hope warmed his core. He had been taken in as a baby by his Bandit Father but had always struggled to be accepted. Hiei knew that he was only spared for his Hiruseki stone. Though he would never give his mother's stone away for any reason, he had other ways of appeasing his Bandit Father's lust for treasure.

Hiei could hear people leaving their tents and fueling the morning fires. His Bandit Father would be returning soon. Hiei only hoped that his sacrifices the night before had been enough. He had let them beat him to the point of tears. His tanned skin was calloused and stained a myriad of colors. He was fairly certain that his nose was broken. The fact that he was standing was certainly a testament to his abilities.

It wasn't long before the caravan returned with pelts, food, drink, and other items they had traded. Hiei's eyes frantically searched for the imposing form of his Bandit Father amongst the others. None of them made eye contact with him which wasn't a good sign. Hiei took a single step towards the camp but found himself unable to breathe as a large bouldered fist curled around his tiny throat.

"You lying little shit!" his Bandit Father's voice boomed. Everyone was staring now. The other bandits tore daggers through Hiei's face when they looked at him. Hiei frantically clawed at everything he could reach in an attempt to escape. He was lifted into the air and, when he finally opened his eyes, he found himself dangling over the edge of the cliff. No. Not again!

"Those Hiruseki stones you gave us were fake!" His breath smelled of meat and strong alcohol. It was a smell Hiei was used to, "You made me look like a fool."

"But..." his Bandit Father tightened his grip. There was a wet 'pop' as something collapsed in his throat.

"Maybe those Koorime bitches had the right idea when they threw you off that island." his Bandit Father spat.

Hiei tried to inhale. The blood fled his face and extremities. He could only imagine how pathetic he must have looked to his Bandit Father- his embarrassment being quickly overshadowed by his fear of failing him. Hiei analyzed every syllable that came out of that rotted mouth. He was right. He was defective. Hiei lowered his hands and stopped struggling. If his Bandit Father wanted him dead, it was probably for the best.

"It's a good thing that I'm better than they are." His Bandit Father's words came out crisp and hard on the air. He lifted Hiei over his head and threw him hard on the ground behind him, "You remember what I did for you, boy."

The camp had migrated with the seasons and many of the bandits had come and gone. On one of the raids Hiei was allowed to participate in, they came across a woman and a young child with charcoal hair and ice colored eyes. The woman had offered herself to the bandits in exchange for their protection. Hiei had been disgusted with the idea but never spoke out of turn in matters that concerned his Bandit Father.

Eventually, the young boy started to look up to Hiei. There were no children in the camp. This child was alone- just like him. Hiei felt a connection in this and, through some coaxing, had taken him in as a sort of younger brother. Kako, as he was called, would frequently get himself into trouble. His mother would come to their tent with bruises or would scream out into the night. Kako would then take it upon himself to fruitlessly defend her. Hiei often took the blame and was beaten for it. He didn't care so long as the boy was safe. Hiei knew that as soon as Kako's mother was no longer useful, she and her son would likely be murdered in their sleep, if they were lucky, and disposed of. Hiei hoped that Kako would, at least, be spared so long as he wasn't a nuisance.

"Hiei, do you ever wonder what the stars are made of?" Kako was lying on his back and gazing up into the blackened sky above him.

"Why would I care?" Hiei, who had been woken up by the boy's abrupt late night inquiry, rolled over and threw his cloak over his head.

"Mother said the same thing." he frowned

"So why ask me?" Hiei grumbled

"Because I like talking to you, Mr. Hiei." Kako's voice was annoyingly bright

"You should find better friends. I'm terrible company."

"But I enjoy being around you."

"I've noticed..." Hiei sighed

"The other bandits talk about you. They say really nasty things..." his voice was small. Hiei rolled over and pulled the tattered cloak off of his head.

"Let them talk. It doesn't bother me." Hiei scoffed but a twitch in his brow betrayed him.

"Oh... are those things true?" he asked

"Probably." Hiei answered, unthinking.

"They say you're savage and that one day you'll kill all of us."

"Do they now?" he chuckled, "Good. They should be afraid."

Hiei looked over at the boy and noticed an expression he had only worn once before. It was the same look of fear and exasperation that contorted his features when Hiei first stumbled upon him and his mother in the woods. It made Hiei's stomach turn in knots. Their caravan had been torn apart and burned to the ground. They alone had managed to hide in the rubble while the rival bandits pillaged their every possession. Now, his Bandit Father had robbed them of their dignity. They truly had nothing and yet Kako clung to Hiei who was no better off than himself.

"You should be afraid too." Hiei finally admitted.

"I'm not afraid of anything." he lied

"Your bravery means nothing if you have a knife lodged in your throat." Hiei covered the boy with his cloak. He sighed and plopped down next to the boy's small form, "I could help you leave. It wouldn't be hard."

"What about my mother?" he asked

"We could save her too." Hiei ran his fingers through Kako's hair. It was matted and full of dirt. The ends were singed with soot from their campfire.

"What about you?" he asked. His ice-grey eyes chilled Hiei with their stare.

"I'm not worth saving."

"That's not true. You're way stronger than all of them!" he exclaimed

"I know that."

"So why do you stay?" he pleaded, "Is it because you're scared of what's out there?"

"That's not why I stay." he answered harshly. He sighed, "It's not the world I hate. It's the people in it. The truth of the world is that you cannot trust anyone. Especially family. They are the ones who will hurt you most."

"Even you?" Kako questioned. There was silence. There were no insects or animals in the night. Just the crackling of the fire.

"Especially me. I'm cursed. I'm destined to destroy everything I touch." he shrugged, "Or so I've been told."

"You're a terrible liar." Kako yawned

"Shut up, kid and go the fuck to sleep." he smirked. The pain of his own words had seeped into every part of him like a dry sponge near water. He had not allowed himself to cry in a very long time and he wasn't about to let it himself be seen that weak now. Luckily, Kako was asleep and the rest of the camp was silent.

Hiei had pleaded with his Bandit Father to allow him to go on more raids. He had found a new home in the comfort of bloodshed. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. He was a Beast, as the Koorime elder put it. He may as well act the part and fill that role in their archaic myths. In a particularly gruesome raid, Hiei had decapitated the village chief and gained access to their treasures and all the food and drink of their dining halls. Blood poured down the stone steps as Hiei exited the vaulted door holding an ornate box. When he dropped it, all of the gold and gemstones clattered to the ground and at his Bandit Father's feet.

"Good job, kid." His Bandit Father smiled his approval and ruffled the mop of hair on Hiei's head. Blood had clotted in his hair and caused it to stand up more than usual. All of the other bandits patted him on the shoulder as they entered the stone hall and began gorging themselves on whatever meat was laid out on the tables. After a moment of standing guard at the doorway, he was pulled into the hall and all but forced to sit among them. His Bandit Father, in particular, had 'pride' written all over his face.

He was accepted. They were his family. Spilling blood had been the answer all along. Hiei was proud and felt invincible after his unofficial acceptance ceremony. There were some bandits, however, who did not approve of his inclusion in their revelry. Their jealously could be felt in the air. It was thick and permeated through the hall and later back at the camp. Hiei could feel himself choking on it. He would need to eliminate their stares if he was going to maintain his position at his Father's side.

Later, those same jealous thieves chased him through the woods and threatened to take his stone. He knew of their greed and had lured them out of their not-so-subtle ambush in the woods with the temptations of his mother's stone. As they pursued him, they spat out insults and claimed that his father only tolerated his ruthlessness because he wanted his stone. But they knew nothing. Hiei was now a cherished member of the team. He was no longer only valued for his stone. He couldn't be. They were jealous traitors and he would teach them a lesson. He promptly killed them all with the sword his Father had given him and brought all of their heads back to camp.

"I brought you the heads of the traitors." He dropped a rucksack to the ground with a wet 'plop.' The blood was a viscous paste that stunk up the entire campsite.

"What have you done?" his Bandit Father exclaimed through gritted teeth

"They tried to steal my stone so I dealt with them." Hiei awaited his father's praise but was instead met with angry whispers and cold stares from the others. His father did not speak to him. Instead, he opened the rucksack and pulled out the heads of his fallen comrades. Regret colored his face.

"Leave." his Bandit Father finally spoke. Hiei was stunned into silence, "Leave until you can atone for the sins of your betrayal."

"My betrayal?" Hiei clenched his fist, "They were the ones who plotted an ambush!" He was met with silence and stone eyes, "Tch. Fine! I'll reclaim what I've lost in a different way then."

"Don't lose your head, kid!" Hiei heard his Bandit Father call out but it was too late. He was already dashing off into the woods towards a trail he believed led to one of the other nearby bandit territories.

Hiei wanted to reclaim his father's approval and sought to do so by destroying his rivals. They all pleaded for mercy but he cut them to pieces and charred the remaining cowards who had stowed away in their tents. He could hear their screams emanating from the flames. The thrill was intoxicating.

"Hiei?" a tiny voice echoed off the surrounding stone. Hiei turned to see Kako wrapped up in the tattered cloak Hiei had given him. He was brandishing a sword.

"Have you come to kill me now, you little brat?" His words came out strong enough to knock Kako backward, "Pfft. See, your bravery got you nowhere."

"I.. I was j-just coming to help." his voice was trembling

"I don't need your help! I don't need anyone! I could kill all of you in an instant!" he screamed

"You're lying!" Kako retaliated

"Would you like to test that?" a fire engulfed his form as he walked towards the boy

Kako pulled himself up and darted off into the woods. Hiei listened to his rushed steps disappear and slowly be replaced by the remnant screams and the sound of flames behind him. He must have looked terrifying. He must have looked like some kind of Beast covered in gore and ash. It was fitting but unfulfilling. He would have to apologize to Kako later.

Hiei arrived at the camp only to find the fires doused with water and all of the treasures packed away. His father, who had noticed him appear, shunned him and went into his own tent. There was an eerie silence after that. Hiei was confused. It was clear word had come back to the camp of his slaughter. Why had they shunned him? The concept confounded him. He had done them a service by killing all of those who might threaten them. They had families. He protected them. So why were they rejecting him like they had before?

The large bandit came out of the tent and finally looked up at him. Hiei was vibrating with anticipation. All he needed was one word of confirmation that he was of value to his Bandit Father. Only one word of approval. Instead, he felt a dull pain hit him in the side of the head. Hiei turned to see a stone bounce to the ground beside him.

"Go away!" Kako had been the one to throw the rock. The boy's mother had grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back to their tent. The boy's words were still ringing in his ears.

"That child is right. You should leave." his Bandit Father's words bristled his ears.

"But why? Father, I thought-"

The bandit started laughing at that, "Father? Kid, I'm not your damn father. That bastard abandoned you and your mother a long ass time ago." Hiei's heart sank, "How pathetic. Your naivete got the better of you. You actually thought I gave a shit about you."

Hiei clenched his fists, "But you..."

"Listen, kid, you were useful for a while. But now you're just a loose cannon."

Hiei's insides were on fire. This old bastard had tricked him. For years, he had him believing that they were family. That he was family. He had been kicked around and beaten nearly to death all for the pleasure of this bandit. Hiei was blinded by anger but fear kept him stationary.

"What are you going to do?" the bandit leaned in close to Hiei's face, "You gonna kill me like you did the others?"

"Maybe I will." Hiei spat. He could. He could kill all of the bandit leaders and take their place. He had heard stories of Youko who had once ruled over these territories. He could easily take his place in those stories. He could be a legend. He could be important. His life could even mean something.

"You wouldn't get the chance, you little shit." the bandit's voice broke him out of his daydream. With his fists clenched and his head hung low, he leaped into the nearby trees and fled the camp. He could hear them all praising his absence and yelling curses in the direction he vanished.

Hours later, after having heard screams rising up over the trees, Hiei returned to the camp. Another bandit tribe had been lying in wait for their opportunity to strike. It seemed that shortly after Hiei was shunned, they mounted their attack. All that was left were the vacant remains atop the cliffside. In the silence that surrounded him, he felt an odd connection to the loneliness that cascaded from the empty tents. It penetrated the ground underneath him and filled him with a sadness he couldn't describe. He could care less about its inhabitants but this place had been his home for so long. They had always returned to this exact spot in the changing seasons. To see it now, so hollow, made him sad.

Hiei knelt down and picked up the rock that had been thrown at him just hours earlier. It was smooth and cold compared to the embers that lay around it. The tent that the demon child and his mother had once resided in was reduced to ash. Hiei thought about combing through their tent for their remains, just for confirmation of their demise. Perhaps it was just morbid curiosity that struck him or maybe it was this nagging sense that their deaths had been his fault. If maybe he had stuck around and waited in case they needed him. No. No, if there was anything he had learned growing up it was to pity the weak. This was their fate. Serves them right for abandoning him.

His hand brushed up against heated metal. He retracted his hand on reflex and found himself staring at the charred remains of a little boy clutching a sword. Hiei tried to stand but found that his knees had buckled under him. It was as if his body was forcing him to continue to stare at Kako's body just a little while longer. Hiei bit the insides of his cheeks and could taste the blood pooling in his mouth. He fell over into the nearby embers and vomited the contents of his stomach. He coughed, spit up blood, and thrashed around on the ground. He should have stayed. He could have protected Kako. He could have-

"Kako!" Hiei violently woke from his dream and nearly fell out of the tree. The world around him was fragrant and crisp. It was spring. It was Human. Hiei removed the bandage from his freshly implanted Jagan eye. The light was still too much to bear. Colors were oversaturated and radiated with a vibrancy he never knew existed. It made him fall from his perch.

"Master." an imp had scurried up to him. After arriving in Human World, he had come across this imp who offered Hiei information in exchange for not losing his life.

"You had better have something important to say." Hiei's eyes burned like coals

"I do! I do!" he clasped his prickly fingers together, "Though it may not be what you want to hear."

Hiei snatched him off the ground and clenched his fist, "Explain."

"There were whispers of a Koorime in the area but, you see, this is Yatsude's territory." the imp frantically spat

"Meaning?" Hiei clenched his fist tighter

"Meaning that she was most likely eaten by Yatsude to gain her power and extend his control of his territory."

"Why would he eat something as valuable as an ice maiden?" he howled, "Her tears would be worth more than her flesh."

"There are reports in the underground that the Bandit King, Youko Kurama, is competing for territory here. Yatsude is probably just trying to absorb enough power to stand a chance."

"Youko? You're sure?"

"It's true!" the imp wiggled out of Hiei's fist, "Though it is equally likely that she fell prey to the Bandit given his rumored appetite."

"Where might I find him?" Hiei doubted the validity of the imp's story. Youko had been dead for years. There was no way he had tucked his tails between his legs and fled to Human World. The idea of it almost made him laugh. Yatsude, on the other hand, seemed like a more likely culprit.

"No one knows the location of Youko. Only that he is rumored to be a protector of the area. Yatsude's location is also a secret even to those closest to him. Perhaps, if you gave me more time, my Master..."

"Heh. You get to live another day."

"Thank you, Master."

"Report back to me when you know of his location so that I may seek him out and kill him."

"Yes, Master." the imp scurried away as quickly as he had come.

Hiei, now alone, found himself shaking. Fear and anger fueled a fire within him. Yukina wasn't dead. That much he was sure of. He would have felt it. He would have seen it through his Jagan eye... or so he was led to believe. The fact that he could not find her bore a hole at the pit of his stomach. It couldn't be true. He wouldn't allow it.

"No." he thought to himself. He would find her. She had to be safe. He had to keep telling himself that. He wanted to close his eyes to regain his lost composure but if he were to close them he feared he would be met with an onslaught of frightful images from his past. He could smell the corpses, could taste the blood in his mouth, and could not pull his eyes away from the charred remains of the boy he failed to protect.