Sand In My Shoes

Part 1

Joey's Tale

Joey Potter watched her father as he was extracted out of their home and towards the awaiting patrol car, feeling her heart shatter as he looked at her; she stared back at him, barely able to see him through her tears. He took his gaze away from his youngest daughter and back to his oldest, holding his young grandchild who just looked away, tears in her eyes. She watched Mr Witter, Chief of Capeside Police, place him in the back seat and close the door before studying her sister as she walked in the house, ignoring her gaze

Turning around she saw the last person she wanted to see, Dawson Leery, standing there, watching her, watching her family fall apart again.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her.

"Like hell," she responded coldly, staring through him, unable to believe his nerve. How did he think she was feeling? Was she meant to say 'fine Dawson, and you?' he really did have a nerve and she just couldn't believe it. She couldn't even believe he had the nerve to show up on her doorstep and watch, let alone speak to her.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked her.

"No thank you," she responded, just as coldly as before, staring through his blue eyes, wishing he wasn't there, trying to wish him away. If looks could kill he would have definitely been dead by now, and for one moment, one split second, she wished he was. She wished her 'soul mate' would disappear into a vapour and never come back, she didn't care where he went as long as he disappeared, she didn't want to see him again.

"You did the right thing, Joey," he told her softly, trying to make her see his point of view.

"No, Dawson," she disagreed, shaking her head and expelling a sharp breath from her mouth angrily. She stared through him coldly with her icicle eyes again, a look of contempt staring straight through him. "You did the right thing. What I did?" she paused and shook her head. "The word 'right' doesn't even come close to," the tears ran down her cheeks steadily as she looked at him, awaiting his response, her eyes dark and cold. She felt nothing for him, nothing but hatred for that boy.

"We both did what we had to do," he told her. He wanted her to fling her arms around him and forgive him but the glare she gave him, with her heavy angry eyes told him that that was the least likely outcome.

"What I have to say, you're not going to like, so I'll say it quickly," Joey told him angrily, staring through him again with her cold, dead eyes. "I hope one day that I'll be able to forgive my father for all of this, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself, but I know that I will never forgive you. See, Dawson, there are certain circumstances that love can not overcome and from now on?" she breathed heavily and shook her head. "I don't want to know you," she finished. She didn't stick around to watch his emotion or his heart break in front of her, she simply turned away from him and walked towards her house, up the steps and into her house, collapsing into tears on the other side. Slowly she released her hands from her face and looked at her sister. "Bess..." She started to speak.

"Don't you even try and talk to me right now little sister because I am not in the mood," she told her angrily.

"Bessie I…" she tried to speak but the look in her sisters eyes, the hatred that resided there shocked her.

"I don't care, just stay out of my way," she told her walking away from her and into her bedroom, slamming the door.

Joey watched her and listened to the muffled sobs that came from her room. She had lost her father, her sister and her best friend in one day.

That was three weeks ago and some things had changed. Bessie had forgiven her and she had received a letter from her father telling her how sorry he was, but she hadn't forgiven him. She couldn't forgive him yet, not after three weeks, she just wasn't ready.

As for Dawson Leery? She had softened a little and came around a little to his point of view but her hatred for him had not changed. She rowed Past his house every day and sat on his dock, hoping that forgiveness would come but it wouldn't, she couldn't see herself ever getting over what he had done to her.

She hadn't seen much of anyone in the last three weeks, she had spent most of it working for a living, pumping gas with her sleaze of a boss, Rob Logan, who spent his days letching and sexually harassing her.

She had seen Jen a few times with Jack as they passed her by. They were having a great summer, really getting to know each other, partying, going to the beach every clear day and generally having fun.

She hadn't heard from Dawson, he had called her a few times in the first few days after she had spoken to him but she had ignored his calls, and ever since then had heard nothing from her former 'soul mate' and confidant. She had cut all her ties from him but she found it lonely, she really didn't have anyone anymore, except for Bessie.

Bessie had no time for her, she was busy herself, working in a motel most mornings out of town as a cleaning assistant on minimum wage. Between the two of them they barely made ends meat but they scraped by.

She hadn't seen much of Pacey at all; she had bumped into him at the store once when he was with his mother. She never forgot the look on his face, his eyes sunk onto his sockets and he looked like he had barely slept, but that was two weeks ago and she hadn't heard of him or seen him since. It wasn't a big surprise, after all, they were only friends by association and now that her association with Dawson was over it was safe to say that her ties were cut with Pacey too.

"Potter!" she heard a voice shout across the yard. "Stop daydreaming, you have a customer!" Rob shouted at her, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Come on! We'll lose business, and you will lose that little thing you call called a… oh what is it called?" Rob pretended to think. "Job, that's it you'll lose your job,"

"I'm on it," she mumbled, shaking her head and walking over to the boat that waited in the dock. "Jerk," she mumbled, hoping he didn't hear.

"I heard that!" he shouted after her and she whipped her head around to look at him. "But as you look so damn cute in those little dinky shorts I will forgive you," he letched, making cold shivers vibrate down her spine, and not in a good way.

She shivered visibly and walked towards the boat, coming face to face with someone who had occupied her thoughts just moments before.

"Pacey?" She asked him, not quite able to believe her eyes. He had changed in the two weeks since she had seen him, he no longer looked drawn and sleepy, he looked well rested and relaxed, not to mention tanned a beautiful golden colour.