(Disclaimer: I don't own the Slayers. Someone much richer than I does.)
Chaos Factor 9
Part One: Fruitcake...
Authors Notes: Hmm... This has absolutely nothing to do with my other
fic. Just a bit on the silly side. A bit of a history lesson. A bit
of fruitcake with nuts and 100% proof Norwegian Brandy. It'll get much, much, much,
much sillier next episode. I promise.
~~~~~~
This particular story begins with several deities who existed
before time itself and have powers beyond comprehension of your puny
mortal minds. They live in a dimension whose physics are beyond
comprehension of your puny mortal minds and think thoughts that are
beyond the comprehension of your puny mortal minds. (Boy, us mortals
are screwed, ne?)
Back in that 'time' (time being a subjective term) they were
still young and fresh from the vats of comic primordial soup. Each
forming thoughts and concepts that revolutionized the non-world,
forming themselves to a concept they held dear.
One dear little goddess liked to see what she was doing so she
scattered many, many globes of burning gas across the non-space to
light everything. She became the concept of Light. Another decided he
didn't like that so he cursed all her beautiful balls of burning flame
so that would all eventually turn inside out and suck in all the light
and anything else that unfortunately happened to be nearby. He became
the concept of Darkness.
Those were just examples. Each concept was new and different and
they like it that way. Each 'concept' learned for the other and after
learning much, but keeping there own self made concept at the top of
the list, they scattered and formed non-spaces of there own to play
with.
One particular of this deity is near and dear to us in a slightly
abstract way. She was formed when the chaotic elements of the
'universe' (universe being a subjective term too) collided and melted
together in an unorganized heap. (All of this is very much understated
and loosely defined.) Chaotic and unpredictable as, well, herself.
In Her own little non-space She got bored and played around with
the notion of 'world', a joining of many concepts. She took the
notions and concepts she had learned but in a BIG dose of herself and
formed a giant golden lake whose dimensions are incomprehensible to the
feeble mortal mind and a giant pillar that rose out of it whose
dimensions are only slightly less incomprehensible to the feeble human
mind.
On this pillar she formed four planes of unpredictability, each
forming to her will. After that she created four lords of darkness,
death, destruction, and hatred, and four lords of light, life,
protection, and love. She put on of each on different planes and let
them duke it out.
This amused the Lord of Nightmares greatly for an unreal amount
of time. But, since she created the lord with equal powers they came
to a stalemate in their fight. On one particular world the dark lord
Shabranigdu was split into seven pieces and his counterpart Ceipheed
split into four similar versions of himself and sank into his creators
world, the Sea of Chaos.
Well after that the two lords' world flourished and intelligent
beings such as humans and elves came into being. Dragons and Mazoku,
children of Shabranigdu and Ceipheed started appearing. Humans grew
and changed; eventually developing crude magical abilities then refined
them. Elves, already quite proficient in magic, disappeared somewhere
and the humans developed more. Humanity was going just peachy then
some royal bastard, Rei Magnus, resurrected a piece of Shabranigdu and
sent the whole world into war. Dragons, Mazoku, Humans, and Elves were
all engaged in the epic battle. One fourth of Ceipheed, the Water
Dragon Lord, and one seventh of Shabranigdu and all the Mazoku lords
were up at the peak of the fighting. The Water Dragon Lord was
defeated and the piece of Shabranigdu, unable to move, holed up in the
Kataart Mountains. The war ended, but the human race, however, was cut
down by about two-thirds, give or take a few.
One thousand years later another piece of Shabranigdu was
resurrected by Rezo the Red Priest, noted good guy and great mage.
Shabby-kun was also brought down in the same day by the enemy of all
who live, Lina Inverse.
I suppose all that was a very round about way of saying that is
who I am talking about. Lina Inverse, that it. At the very least you
got an history lesson.
Lina Inverse, at this precise moment is enjoying the view of the
town from her inn room window, relaxing after a strenuous day of bandit
stomping.
Her partner in crime, the noted swordsman and nice guy (though he
is a bit dense) Gourry Gabriev was currently walking up the stairs to
knock on Lina's door and interrupt her.
Knock, knock, knock.
"What?" Lina snapped, irritated to have her daydream
interrupted.
"It's me, Lina."
"Come in, Gourry." Lina answered, hopping off the window seat.
Gourry strode in smiling. "So Lina, what are we going to do
tomorrow. According to that strange guy at the bar there's some
strange count that lives up at the top of Black Death Mountain. A
bunch of bandits live there and steal from people a couple of towns
over. We could go get him."
"Hmm..." Lina hmmed. "Yes, I heard about that one. Seems to be
the only other one in the area. I got some information on it
yesterday; sounds promising."
"Yeah, I got directions." Gourry offered. "It's just a couple
hours hike through Home of Evil Man Eating Creatures forest and then
just a bit up the path of Jagged Sharp Things. Then we're there."
Lina swallowed. "Well, after reviewing the facts. I think we
ought to skip that guy."
"Oh don't worry, the names are only for show. The man I talked
to said the forest was actually quite pleasant." Gourry assured.
"Who were you talking to?" Lina asked looking out the window
trying to find a restaurant to eat dinner at.
"I don't know, he never let his hood down, but he seemed like a
nice guy."
"Seemed like a nice guy, huh." Lina said skeptically. "Well,
I'll think about it over dinner. Let's go try that steak house over on
second street. It smells good."
With that they strode out the door to go onward to a nice steak
supper... maybe. *evil mocking laughter*
~~~~~~~~~
Gail: Hmm. Shall I go on? Would you like to see what horrors await
Lina and Gourry at the steak house and beyond? Do you want to know if
there steak is rare or well done? Tune in next time for the next
episode! *cheesy music* Do tell me what you think. Pretty please.
Chaos Factor 9
Part One: Fruitcake...
Authors Notes: Hmm... This has absolutely nothing to do with my other
fic. Just a bit on the silly side. A bit of a history lesson. A bit
of fruitcake with nuts and 100% proof Norwegian Brandy. It'll get much, much, much,
much sillier next episode. I promise.
~~~~~~
This particular story begins with several deities who existed
before time itself and have powers beyond comprehension of your puny
mortal minds. They live in a dimension whose physics are beyond
comprehension of your puny mortal minds and think thoughts that are
beyond the comprehension of your puny mortal minds. (Boy, us mortals
are screwed, ne?)
Back in that 'time' (time being a subjective term) they were
still young and fresh from the vats of comic primordial soup. Each
forming thoughts and concepts that revolutionized the non-world,
forming themselves to a concept they held dear.
One dear little goddess liked to see what she was doing so she
scattered many, many globes of burning gas across the non-space to
light everything. She became the concept of Light. Another decided he
didn't like that so he cursed all her beautiful balls of burning flame
so that would all eventually turn inside out and suck in all the light
and anything else that unfortunately happened to be nearby. He became
the concept of Darkness.
Those were just examples. Each concept was new and different and
they like it that way. Each 'concept' learned for the other and after
learning much, but keeping there own self made concept at the top of
the list, they scattered and formed non-spaces of there own to play
with.
One particular of this deity is near and dear to us in a slightly
abstract way. She was formed when the chaotic elements of the
'universe' (universe being a subjective term too) collided and melted
together in an unorganized heap. (All of this is very much understated
and loosely defined.) Chaotic and unpredictable as, well, herself.
In Her own little non-space She got bored and played around with
the notion of 'world', a joining of many concepts. She took the
notions and concepts she had learned but in a BIG dose of herself and
formed a giant golden lake whose dimensions are incomprehensible to the
feeble mortal mind and a giant pillar that rose out of it whose
dimensions are only slightly less incomprehensible to the feeble human
mind.
On this pillar she formed four planes of unpredictability, each
forming to her will. After that she created four lords of darkness,
death, destruction, and hatred, and four lords of light, life,
protection, and love. She put on of each on different planes and let
them duke it out.
This amused the Lord of Nightmares greatly for an unreal amount
of time. But, since she created the lord with equal powers they came
to a stalemate in their fight. On one particular world the dark lord
Shabranigdu was split into seven pieces and his counterpart Ceipheed
split into four similar versions of himself and sank into his creators
world, the Sea of Chaos.
Well after that the two lords' world flourished and intelligent
beings such as humans and elves came into being. Dragons and Mazoku,
children of Shabranigdu and Ceipheed started appearing. Humans grew
and changed; eventually developing crude magical abilities then refined
them. Elves, already quite proficient in magic, disappeared somewhere
and the humans developed more. Humanity was going just peachy then
some royal bastard, Rei Magnus, resurrected a piece of Shabranigdu and
sent the whole world into war. Dragons, Mazoku, Humans, and Elves were
all engaged in the epic battle. One fourth of Ceipheed, the Water
Dragon Lord, and one seventh of Shabranigdu and all the Mazoku lords
were up at the peak of the fighting. The Water Dragon Lord was
defeated and the piece of Shabranigdu, unable to move, holed up in the
Kataart Mountains. The war ended, but the human race, however, was cut
down by about two-thirds, give or take a few.
One thousand years later another piece of Shabranigdu was
resurrected by Rezo the Red Priest, noted good guy and great mage.
Shabby-kun was also brought down in the same day by the enemy of all
who live, Lina Inverse.
I suppose all that was a very round about way of saying that is
who I am talking about. Lina Inverse, that it. At the very least you
got an history lesson.
Lina Inverse, at this precise moment is enjoying the view of the
town from her inn room window, relaxing after a strenuous day of bandit
stomping.
Her partner in crime, the noted swordsman and nice guy (though he
is a bit dense) Gourry Gabriev was currently walking up the stairs to
knock on Lina's door and interrupt her.
Knock, knock, knock.
"What?" Lina snapped, irritated to have her daydream
interrupted.
"It's me, Lina."
"Come in, Gourry." Lina answered, hopping off the window seat.
Gourry strode in smiling. "So Lina, what are we going to do
tomorrow. According to that strange guy at the bar there's some
strange count that lives up at the top of Black Death Mountain. A
bunch of bandits live there and steal from people a couple of towns
over. We could go get him."
"Hmm..." Lina hmmed. "Yes, I heard about that one. Seems to be
the only other one in the area. I got some information on it
yesterday; sounds promising."
"Yeah, I got directions." Gourry offered. "It's just a couple
hours hike through Home of Evil Man Eating Creatures forest and then
just a bit up the path of Jagged Sharp Things. Then we're there."
Lina swallowed. "Well, after reviewing the facts. I think we
ought to skip that guy."
"Oh don't worry, the names are only for show. The man I talked
to said the forest was actually quite pleasant." Gourry assured.
"Who were you talking to?" Lina asked looking out the window
trying to find a restaurant to eat dinner at.
"I don't know, he never let his hood down, but he seemed like a
nice guy."
"Seemed like a nice guy, huh." Lina said skeptically. "Well,
I'll think about it over dinner. Let's go try that steak house over on
second street. It smells good."
With that they strode out the door to go onward to a nice steak
supper... maybe. *evil mocking laughter*
~~~~~~~~~
Gail: Hmm. Shall I go on? Would you like to see what horrors await
Lina and Gourry at the steak house and beyond? Do you want to know if
there steak is rare or well done? Tune in next time for the next
episode! *cheesy music* Do tell me what you think. Pretty please.