So yeah~ I was sitting with my dear friend Namashe, and just suddenly have a twisted idea of forcing all of our much loved characters into normal life (Grimmjow: Curse ya, woman!!!) We were laughing so hard, my head slammed onto the wall behind and she could not be able to practice her clarinet (Apology, Shorty, but that was worth it *laughs*)

Summary: The whole series will be pointless babbles, fucked up parodies and total humiliations (especially for Yamamoto-jiijii *laughs and rolls on the floor*). You shall see Aizen as a principle, Gin as a school nurse, Kenpachi as a PE teacher and ect. A day in life as all of our beloved shinigami, Espadas and Vizards was forced to live a human life after the Winter War. Warning for languages (Kenpachi's, Hichigo's and Grimmy's especially), some yaoi couples (Hichi/Ichi, Grim/Ulqui, Ai/Gin) and again, TOTAL humiliation (apology, again, Yama-oyaji, but that was just too hilarious to NOT write down)

Disclaimer: Bleach's characters belong to Kubo Tite. I just own the humiliating part *winks* but won't make a cent out of it *tears*

Enough chit-chatting, please enjoy and review, thank you ^^

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Morning-7am-Nursing Home

If you thought you just saw it wrong, or had to read it twice, then no, there was no problem with your eyesight. It was a beautifully peaceful morning at the Karakura Nursing Home, currently managing by the one and only Unohana Retsu. Now, you may ask why the Captain of the Fourth Division was managing a Nursing Home, even if she had lost all of her power.

Well, let's just say that the reason was very delicate and should not be mentioned to outsiders…

-Ho ho ho! Yamamoto-jii, is your back fine today? Why~ to think about it~ How many pain-killer pills had you taken last night??

-Oh dear, Kisuke~ Give the old man a lil break, will you? He has suffered enough of his poor old age~

-But Isshin! It would be terribly rude of me to not concern about his wellness, don't you think?

-You are absolutely right, Kisuke! But speaking of which, don't you think we should also concern about Baraggan-jiijii* right here? I think he lost his teeth again!

Now if you could hear a hissing sound somewhere, it was probably the imaginary steam which streamed furiously out of Yama-oyaji's and Baraggan-jii's ears. Oh yes, no power meant mortal and mortal meant they were old! If you did not find that having Yamamoto's back could be twisted upon any careless movement or Baraggan's (fake) teeth falling out of his mouth in any second amusing, then Isshin and Kisuke here could probably say a couple of colorful words.

-Ye switty lil magwots!! 'ow ere ye mock me, twash?!?!?! (Translation: "You shitty little maggots! How dare you mock me, trash?!?!?)

Baraggan, apparently having trouble speaking due to the absent of his (fake) teeth, was snarling (and spitting in the process) at the two younger men. Isshin burst out laughing right there and then, practically rolling on the floor, as Urahara said with (fake) tears pouring out like a water fountain on his face:

-Oh dear~ I'm so hurt! For once you have mistaken our sincerely concerns as horribly disrespectful manners! Isshin! I cannot bear this shame!

Yamamoto had had enough. Stood up and leaned against his cane (shaking all the way), he sputtered at the two insolent brats:

-You'll be punished, brats!! I shall roast you alive!!!

-Twess!!! I ill shoin ye!!! (Translation: "Yes!!! I will join you!!!)

And then Yama-jiijii and Baragaan-jiijii charged together at Isshin and Kisuke.

…

…

………………..

Yama-jiijii and Baragaan-jiijii were still getting off their beds. Meanwhile…

-Noooooooo~~ We have to ruuuuuuunnnn~~~ Kisuke!!! Ruuuuuuuunnnn~~~ for our liiiiiiveeesss~~~

Kurosaki Isshin started to run in slow-motion, picking up his feet just as sluggishly as a turtle would, and even slower. Urahara Kisuke, however, had collapsed upon the floor and fanned himself while panting desperately:

-Noooo~~ I can't…make it! Go on without me, Isshin!! Run! Run for your freedom!!! Leave me behind!! GOOD-BYE, CRUEL WORLD!!!!

As if it was possible, Yama-jii's and Bara-jii's fury got worse. They managed to stand up, and walked a few steps toward the squirming Urahara and dragging Kurosaki, before…

Crack!

-……………………………..my back………………………

And Yamamoto collapsed, back twisted and arms twitching.

At the same time, Baraggan-jiijii just spotted something…

-Muh tweeth!! MUH TWEETH!!! (Translation: "My teeth!! MY TEETH!!!)

And he ended up trying (in vain) to bend down and picked up his (fake) teeth. Could not maintain their poker faces anymore, Isshin and Kisuke both burst out into a howl of laughter, not able to stop.

-Ma, ma~ Now what is going on here, gentlemen?

Out of nowhere, Unohana appeared with her usual smile…

…and the murderous aura which was pouring endlessly out of her.

…

…

………………………….

-GYAAAAHHH!!!! RUN, ISSHIN, RUN!!!!!

-I AM, YOU IDIOT!!!!!

And them both rushing out of the nursing home, pretty aware of what could have happened if they were any slower.

What a beautiful beginning of a day, was it not?

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*: Baraggan Luisenbarn is the Segunda Espada. I know he's supposed to be dead, but it is just plain hilarious to make fun of him like that, so I decided to "revive" him *smiles brilliantly* I bet he wished he was dead, now ^^

Please review, thank you so very much and await for the next chapter, which includes Ulquiorra-chan and Grimmy ^^