One late snowy December night, Sarah was taking a dump.
She was having trouble though.
It felt like hours had passed and still no sign of that stinky brown log.
"Errrr... ahhhh! uuuurrrrrrgggggghhhhh! When is this gonna be over!?" Sarah grunted, her tanned brown face wincing with effort.
She made every effort in her body to expel the horrible intestine sausage out of her rectum. It still wouldn't budge. But, just as she was going in for another push…
BOOM! The sound of an explosion rang out.
"What the ever-loving elk piss was that!?" Sarah screamed.
She quickly pulled up her pants and ran to the bathroom window. She could see an orange glow in the woods behind her home. Almost immediately, her mind began racing and a nervous sweat began pouring from her face and groinal area.
"Sarah... it's probably nothing. Just a hunter that accidentally shot off a flare." She tried to tell herself while grabbing a black hair tie to secure her shoulder length chestnut hair.
But something was bothering her, usually hunters did not come so close to her house. The traps she set for them always took care of that.
Gathering her courage, she decided to check out the strange orange glow.
Before leaving the house, Sarah dressed herself in heavy winter clothes. She made sure to choose a camouflage hunting jacket, hat, and pants. She also stopped by her gun cabinet and grabbed a 12 gauge shotgun, a .45 caliber pistol, and a hunting knife.
"Those anus lovin' poachers aren't going to see me comin'." She said out loud to herself as she grabbed enough ammunition to last all night in a firefight.
Checking her gear one last time she walked to the back door of the house and headed outside.