Disclaimer: I dun own dbz…o.o; or anything for that matter. u.u
Author's Note: oooOooo um this is a thingy about thingys and uh yeah…o.O I guess you could call it a yaoi. You see, each chapter is going to focus on a specific dbz male/male relationship. Each of the couples will see a certain Relationships Expert name Dr. Joe…
Okay…to be truthful, Joe is a monkey…or um more like an Ape. The thing is, I play with a stuffed ape…that's really big, and action figures. So this is a true story!...and um…don't imagine Joe as a monkey . Alrighty! Everyone Enjoy!
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Trials of Love: Sessions with Dr. Joe
Chapter One: Goku and Gohan
"Beautiful," Dr. Joe commented himself as he finished arranging the office room he had been given. Today would be the Relationships Experts first day on the job. He took a seat at his desk and picked up a file he had previously laid on it. The tab read "Case 1: Patients Goku and Gohan." Figuring that he should read up on his patients before they arrived, the doctor opened up the folder and took out the notes kept by their previous doctor. "Hmmmm..." murmured the doctor quietly as he took a look at the papers.
THOSE TWO ARE DISGUSTING! I CAN'T DEAL WITH A CASE LIKE THIS! WHO THE HELL IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS DOES THOSE THINGS! ITS INHUMAN I TELL YOU!....this case is officially doomed. There is no help for these two.
Dr. Joe blinked and reread the note. "That's all he put?" he thought aloud. The doctor shrugged it off as he tossed the paper in the basket beside him. His motto was "No case is too hopeless; any problem can be solved when you put your mind to it!" Yes! That was Joe's motto...he was so proud of it he had a plaque with those exact words on the wall behind him.
Glancing at the clock, Joe realized that his patients would be arriving soon. He began arranging papers and such for when they arrived. He opened his notebook to the first clean page, but before doing so he wrote large bold letters on the cover: GOKU AND GOHAN. He smiled cheerfully, he couldn't wait to get started on his first real counseling session!
A rapping came to the door and Dr. Joe flinched as his desk shook violently. "Uh come in!" he called as he tried to situate himself on the chair.
Two males with fighting gi's on walked in. One looked to be in his late 20's with dark spiked hair. The other was immensely younger (and shorter) with a mushroom shaped haircut. Both took a seat in front of Joe's desk.
Joe blinked. They must have the wrong room! Joe was in charge of relationships between lovers, this man and boy had obviously wandered into his room by accident. "Excuse me?" began Joe as he realized that the two seated before him looked an awful lot alike. "You two wouldn't happen to be related would you?"
The younger one perked up and said, "Sure! He's my daddy!"
Dr. Joe sighed. "Well you two just walked into the wrong room. Dr. Mayson in room 122 deals with Family Affairs."
The man looked highly confused at what the doctor had said. "But we have an appointment with Dr. Joe for Relationship Therapy..." he said as he turned his attention to his son. "Gohan? Did I forget to make the appointment?"
Gohan stared at his father and answered, "Dad...I saw you make the phone call. You didn't forget!"
Joe stared in shock. He then looked down on his pad and saw that "Gohan" was one of the names on it. Returning his attention to the father and son duo, he shuddered. "So...what brings you two here today?" he asked timidly.
Goku grinned, realizing he knew the answer. Gohan, seeing his father's sheer knowledge of the topic, decided to let him explain. "Well..." Goku began thoughtfully. "Gohan and I have been having uh....um..." The spiky-haired man became silent and then glanced over at Gohan who mouthed, Wet Dreams. "OH YEAH! Gohan and I have been having wet dreams!...and the last doctor we talked to said that was sick!...yeah...that's what he said."
Doctor Joe placed a pair of glasses on his nose and gave Goku a criticizing stare. "Mr. Son, all males have wet dreams. It's natural for a young boy his age to be fantasizing about girls. And at your age, you may be experiencing a mid-life crises of some sort."
"...um...no..." said Goku, again becoming overly confused by what was just said. "We don't have wet dreams about girls," he explained calmly. Gohan nodded in agreement.
"You don't?" asked the doctor. That wasn't possible! There is no other way to have wet dreams! "Okay sir, what do you two dream about?"
Goku smiled and exclaimed confidently, "EACHOTHER!"
The doctor froze at the response. He couldn't have heard that right...no, he must have been mistaken. They wouldn't be having sexual fantasies about each other. I mean, NOBODY DOES THAT!
Gohan and Goku stared interestingly at the doctors expressions as his face twisted up as though he were having a mental argument and was losing badly. Gohan finally decided to break the silence and asked, "So what do you think doc?"
Joe shook his head and sweatdropped and he looked at the two. "Erm, I think I heard your father wrong. I thought he said you two had wet dreams about each other but he probably meant about your mothe- Wait no...that's not right."
Gohan blinked, "No mister, you heard my dad right. Him and I have wet dreams about one another on a regular nightly basis, consisted of a two hour time frame between the hours of 2 and 4, but extends to a 5 hour dreams on Fridays and Saturdays."
"..." Joe stole a glance at his clock. It had only been 5 minutes...AND THIS WAS AN HOUR SESSION! The doctor groaned at his unfortunate luck but decided to just keep up with it. "Okay, so you two dream about each other...erm...sexually. Do you two feel a-a-attracted to each other?" He managed to blurt out.
Goku grinned and sat up straight in his chair, "Oh sure! All the time! Like when Gohan's training! He looks so buff and hott when he's all used up from training. Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! AND WHEN WE TAKE BATHS TOGETHER! WOW! THEN LIL DICKY REALLY GETS FEISTY!"
"Lil Dicky?" as the doctor asked this he soon already knew the answer and regretted repeating it.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Goku. "It's in my pants! Wanna see?" Goku began undoing his waistband with Gohan drooling behind him.
"NO! no no that's quite all right sir. Please just take a seat..."
Goku shrugged, doing as he was told. Gohan shot an evil glare at the doctor and then huphed in disappointment.
Sighing, the doctor reluctantly asked if Gohan felt sexually attracted to his father. Big Mistake!
"Oooooh yeah! IM VERY ATTRACTED! I'VE EVEN READ UP ON GAY/LESBIAN RELATIONS AND HOW THEY HAVE SEX! I LOOK AT PICTURES TOO! OOOO! AND I GOT AN ENTIRE NOTEBOOK FULL OF PICTURES I TOOK OF DADDY WHEN HE WAS BATHING OR DRESSING! HE HAS A TIGHT BUTT! DID YOU KNOW THAT?" Gohan stopped suddenly and seemed to drift into a fantasy, leaving the doctor and Goku alone.
Goku looked over at the doctor and said, "So aren't you suppose to tell us how to deal with this or something?"
Joe thought and opened his mouth to say something when...
"VAGINAKU!"
Both Dr. Joe and Goku jumped at this exclamation and shot a look at Gohan. He was now standing on the chair, hugging one of Joe's silk pillows and murmuring dreamily.
"Uh...do you know what he just said?" Joe asked mechanically.
Goku nodded, responding, "That's his sex name for me..."
"WHAT!" the doctor exclaimed, falling out of his chair.
"I said that's his sex name for me. He mixed vagina and Goku together..." Goku explained to the obviously disturbed doctor.
"Oh..." was all Joe could say in response. He sighed and shut his eyes saying, "As much as I'm know I'm going to regret asking. What do you call him?"
"Me? Call him?" asked Goku.
The doctor reluctantly nodded.
Goku jumped onto his chair like Gohan had down and called out, "SPERMBOY!"
Joe sweatdropped at the name. How could he have gotten such a stupid case? These two were probably loose patients from the loony bin and they just happened to come in here claiming to be sane...lovers. Dr. Joe cleared his throat, as much as he hated it; he would have to continue his analysis. "Would you two please seat yourselves?"
Ten minutes later, the Goku and Gohan had come back to reality and were now sitting calmly in his chair. Joe continued, "You say that your having wet dreams. Yet, you also say that you have sex names for each other. Are you two here to find out if you should have sex?"
Both of them shook their heads quickly.
The doctor sighed and thought, thank god...I couldn't deal with it if they wanted to do that.
But then Goku chirped, "We already had sex...and made love...and shared sperm...and got out all our horny frustrations!"
"...." Joe was again put in shock and it took Gohan throwing a glass in his face to make the whole thing process through his mind. He stood up and said, "I don't understand, THIS OFFICE IS FOR PEOPLE WITH RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS AND YOU TWO SEEMED TO HAVE SOLVED ALL THESE PROBLEMS YOUR DISHING OUT FOR ME, SO UNLESS YOU HAVE A LIABLE REASON FOR BEING HERE, LEAVE!"
Goku cringed, but said calmly, "We do have a reason."
Dr. Joe sunk back into his chair, he was so hoping they didn't.
Gohan joined in, "Yeah, we got a big problem; see daddy is a skanky whore!"
"ME!? YOU'RE THE PICCOLO LOVER!" exclaimed Goku angrily, jumping out of his chair.
Gohan stood on his chair and looked down on his father. "AT LEAST I DON'T DO IT WITH IDIOTIC PRINCES THAT THINK YOU'RE THEIR SEX SLAVE!"
"LEAVE MY VEGVEG OUT OF THIS SPERMBOY!"
"FINE! THEN HOW ABOUT HIS SON! YOU DO IT WITH HIM TOO!" growled Gohan.
"CAN I HELP IT IF HE'S HOTT!" defended Goku. "PLUS! YOU DID IT TOO!"
"TRUNKS AND I HAVE A BOND!"
"NO! ME AND TRUNKS DO!"
Dr. Joe backed his chair up against the wall. "Um...could we please calm down here?" he asked slowly as Goku had Gohan in a headlock. They eventually listened and took their seats, both glaring fiercely at one another. Without looking at Joe, they both asked, "So what do you think?"
"Uuuh..." Joe looked around and then noticed the clock, he grinned crazily. "I think we're out of time!"
Gohan and Goku's face faltered as they too glanced over at the wall clock. "Awww..." pouted Goku.
"Phooey..." grumbled Gohan. He then perked up and said, "Hey daddy! I saw an Ice Cream stand down the street! Let's go get some!"
"Good idea!" agreed Goku quickly.
They both waved a quick goodbye to the doctor and were out the door.
Dr. Joe sat silently in the room, listening to the clocks constant ticking before finally whispering to no one imparticular, "Well...at least I know it can't get any worse..."
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Author's Note: I LIKE CHEESE! I LIKE LOLLIPOPS!...AND I DON'T LIKE PENGUINS!!! O.O; okay that came outta no where ^-^;; ummm so review ppl! O.O WHAT ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE FOR!...you know…this is hurting my feelings….
-=picks up a Goku sockpuppet=-
Goku Sockpuppet: yes! Don't hurt my sons feelings!
Gohan: -=Sniffles=- at least someone cares….-=stares at the sockpuppet=- you lost your eye again…
Goku Sockpuppet: Well…me and Vegeta were playing in the hay again…
Gohan: u.u; GO GET YOUR EYE BACK!
Goku Sockpuppet: umm I would but…Vegeta used it for sexual pleasures and it..
Gohan: …it what?
Goku Sockpuppet: it got stuck….-=whispers=- in his penus…
Gohan: WHAT'S IT DOING THERE!
Goku Sockpuppet: …we were experimenting pleasuring toys…
Gohan: -=points his finger to the door=- OUT! And don't come back until you have your eye back…understood?
Goku Sockpuppet: Yes Gohan…-=mopes out=-
Hehe ^-^;; uhhh well…anyway…REVIEW!