Gundam Vs. Pokemon
Setting: A big white house on the top of the mountain surrounded by clouds. Bigfoot is sleeping in a ledge under the house and at the commotion from above, covers ears and piles snow over its head.
Duo: No gimme! It's my turn to play!
Wufei: That action is unjustified. You just had a turn five minutes ago.
Trowa: ....
Quatre: (holding onto N64 controller) will you guys make up your mind so we can play?
Heero: (pulls out gun and aims at other pilots) It's my turn
All other three back away, hands held in mock surrender and let him have the controller.
Heero: What game is this again (sits down on the floor next to Quatre after sticking the gun back in the spandex)
Quatre: Pokemon stadium!!!
All other four: sweatdrops
One loud voice: Are you insulting my Pokemon game?? If you try that again, I'll hang you from your toenails, cut your spleen out, shove it up your nose, rip your spinal chord out and tie your balls in a knot with the bone in the middle so you all look like Pebbles.
Quatre: (Looks up at ceiling) I wasn't complaining, I like this game.
Another loud voice, slightly lower then the first: Too bad, you're in this fanfic, you're going to suffer like the rest. Oh yeah, wardrobe change.
Lightning crash and the clothing changes on each pilot leaving Trowa in Heero outfit, Wufei in a women's slinky crimson french slut's nightgown. Duo ended up in Quatre's pink shirt and Wufei's spooge pants with his hair bound up on his head and a pink bow with the wrong day of the week on it. Quatre was sitting on the floor in a pair of smile face boxer shorts and a 40HH bra.
Quatre: (looking down) eep!
The two voices: Oops! We did it again. Wrong outfits. Let's do it one more time
The five pilots all end up in jean shorts with different colored t-shirts on. Heero had on a dark blue shirt with the number 01 on the front. Duo's was black with a 02, Trowa, green with 03, Quatre had yellow with 04 and Wufei had on a Jeff Gordan tie-died t-shirt with 05 on the back and a 24 on the front.
Wufei: My honor!!!
First voice: I've got a lovely bunch of coconut diddly dee
Second voice: Laughs psychotically
Trowa: Who are you???
First voice: I'm Donna, and on behalf of the planet Moo I will chastise you all with my udders of justice
Wufei: (eyes lit up) Justice??!!
Donna: Don't get any idea's Wu-fag
Second voice: Be nice Donna, I'm Andi.
Donna: But that's not any fun!
Andi: Let's just write this stupid thing
Heero: I want that pink gumball with the big blue eyes.
Other pilots: snicker
Quatre: (sighs) Let's get on with it, I've got a Butterfree
Donna: Well so what? I've got a Gyradose and a Moltres, see if your stinking Butterfree can beat that!
Andi: Wait, new universe. I've got a good idea.
Donna: That's a first
Five boys go into crystals from various planets and are taken into the tv and deposited on an island.
Duo: (stands up and shouts up to the sky) Where are we?
Andi: You'll find out soon enough
The five pilots begin to wander through the woods, as various creatures come out of hiding and chatter. Heero pulls gun out of spandex and unloads a few rounds of ammo on them but to no avail being that his gun had been reloaded with Jell-O bullets with little doilies attached to them.
Donna: Ha! (looks around innocently) I wonder who would do such a thing?
Heero: (monotone) Omae o korosu (shoves gun back into spandex)
Andi: (glaring at him) Heero, be nice or I'll shove you in a dress.
Heero: .....
Andi: That's better, now going back to the deserted island
Donna: Heero, does that mean you agree with idea because I have a really cute purple dress that would look cute on you.
Heero: ......
Duo: I'm hungry
Wufei: Shut up before you cause me to resort to violence
Duo: (looks down as stomach grumbles)
Donna: (sighs and then throws various pieces of food down at them) Here fishy fishy fishy
After they finished their meal, the five pilots continued on their way until they reached a small clearing where there was a field set up for some kind of sport. There was three huts built on the side of it and there was a pool in back of them.
Quatre: Hello? Is anyone here?
Three people walk out of the huts, two guys, one with messy black hair and who looked younger then the five pilots and the other with dark brown hair and eyes that were shut. There was also a red-haired girl wearing an outfit that was worse then the clothes the authors came up with for the boys.
Donna: Are you insulting our fashion sense?
Andi: It could be a lot worse you know.
All five pilots: No, they're fine.
Donna and Andi in unison: Good, carry on
Trowa: Who are you?
Girl: I'm Misty (points to short kid) that's Ash (points to guy with shut eyes) he's Brock.
Duo: Aren't you the kids from that Pokemon series?
Ash: Yeah, they tied up Pikachu and told me if I wanted to get him back I had to come here.
Duo: (walks up to Brock and waves hand in front of his face) Why don't you open your eyes?
Brock: (punches Duo in the stomach) They are open
Heero: (steps in menacingly) That's my job, touch him again and....
Duo: (pipes up happily) You'll have a date with the God of Death
Donna: Play nice children, this is getting interesting. Oh, by the way, did we mention if you pilots want to get off this island you have to beat these guys in a Pokemon battle? If they all beat you, they get to leave, either way, someone is going to be stuck here for the next fanfic.
Quatre: There's a slight problem
Donna: What is it?
Quatre: We don't have any Pokemon
The two authors look at each other and sweatdrops: Oops
Donna: I knew we forgot about something!
A rain cloud drifted over the island and rained down Pokeballs, 30 to be exact. They fell from the sky, hitting the pilots and then landing in the sand, six in front of each pilot.
Andi: Better?
Quatre: Yes, thank you.
Duo: (stepped up to the circle on their side of the arena) Go little red and white ball thingy (tosses ball into ring)
All watch as it broke open and a white wave of light streamed out until it took on the shape of a strange little blue creature.
Creature: Marril!
Duo: (runs over to hug it) Kawaii!!!!! I love it!!!!! (looks up at the sky) Can I keep her?
Donna: Yeah, sure.
Duo: Your name is Shinigami
Shinigami: (claps hands together) Marril
Duo: No, Shinigami
Shinigami: Marril
Misty: They can only say the kind of Pokemon they are you dip-shmuck
Shinigami: (nods) Marril
Duo: Fine, go and do your thing, whatever it is.
Shinigami: (walks out into the arena and waits for it's opponent to appear)
Misty: I'm going to use my own water Pokemon (pulls out a ball) Go Staryu!
Staryu: (appears in the middle of the ring in front of Shinigami)
Misty: Staryu! Water gun!
Duo: Shinigami! Duck!
Shinigami: Marril? (rolls out of the way to avoid the attack)
Duo: Now what do I do? What can she do?
A book flies down from the sky and hits him in the head.
Duo: The official Pokemon handbook? Hey this thing could help! Thanks guys!
Andi and Donna: (in unison) No problem (massive amounts of giggling) There's a fee for that book by the way.
Duo: (scanning book) Okay Shinigami, give them your bubble-beam attack.
Shinigami: Marril! (spits out a stream of bubbles that hits the Staryu and knocks it into the wall but Staryu gets right back up using it's recovery attack)
Duo: Oh no!! How am I supposed to beat this thing?
Andi: Well, look at the book, find it's weakness.
Duo: That won't help, I don't know what kind of Pokemon I have until I get them out of the balls. I don't know if I have something that could beat it. (Lightbulb appears over head) I've got it!! (Throws all Pokeballs at once)
In the middle of the ring, five other creatures appear next to Shinigami.
#1: Pidgy
#2: Golbat
#3: Goldeen
#4: Bulbasaur (half dead and missing two legs, major sweatdrops all around)
#5: Kakuna
Shinigami: Merril?!
Duo: They're all so cute!!! I don't want to fight, I wanna go play with my new pets.
Donna: (snickers evilly) I picked them out for you myself Duo because I love you soooo much.
Duo: (points to Pidgy) Poo (points to Golbat) Deathscythe (points to Goldeen) Scale (points to half dead Bulbasaur) Maker (points to Kakuna) Heero
Heero: Omae o korosu.....Kusotarre. . .
Donna: really, now....Heero I suggest you behave or you'll regret it in the near future.
Andi: It would be wise to listen to her.
Duo: Anyway, HOW am I supposed to beat this thing?!
Wufei: They already told you. Use the book, weakling! How hard can it be? These are simple minded women running this fan-fic...honor less women.
Donna: Weak, eh? We'll see about that.
Andi: Weak? Well at least I'm not so insecure to blame all my problems on women rather than be a man and sucking it up....but as I have observed you seem to suck very well.
Wufei: (mumbles incoherently as the other guys snicker)
Duo: Go Deathscythe
Misty: Staryu, hyper beam!
Staryu: (uses hyper beam while grunting)
Deathscythe: (falls to the ground, eyes replaced by x's)
Hyper beam continues and hits Duo's pride.
Duo: (falls to knees) OUCHES!!!!!!!! AY CHIWAWA!! (voice is about seven octaves too high.)
The voice carries and it knocks all Pokemon unconscious including Misty. Staryu, however, is unaffected, making Misty the winner even though she's bleeding from the ears.
Donna: Poor baby, now who's next?
Trowa: ....... (steps forward)
Donna: Do you want to play Trowa?
Andi: Have fun, it's going to be you and Brock
Trowa: .......Hn......
Donna: Batter up! (snickers loudly)
Trowa: ...... (Tosses out a Pokeballs)
Pokemon #1: Abra
Trowa: ......
Donna: I'm going to be Trowa....... Narf.............
Abra: (Looks back at Trowa waiting for commands) Abra??
Trowa: ........
Donna: ........
Abra: (scratches back of head) Abra??
Trowa: ......
Donna: ........
Abra: (sweatdrops)
Brock: Go Onix
Onix: Onix!! (Knocks over Abra with a flick of it's tail. Abra's eyes are replaced by x's)
Trowa: ....... (tosses out another pokeball)
Pokemon#2: Ssssssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwppppppppoooooooookkkkkkkeeee
Trowa: (sweatdrop) ........
Donna: Ha! .........*thinks to herself* this is getting really boring, Trowa, you suck
Slowpoke: (Looks at Trowa sleepily)
Trowa: (stares at clouds) .........
Donna: I know what you're thinking, just bring it alright
Trowa: ........
Donna: Is that a challenge?
Trowa: .........
Slowpoke: Slow? Poke?? (falls asleep)
Onix: (swats Slowpoke with it's tail, Slowpoke rolls over and dies)
Trowa: ........
Heero: Would you even try? We don't fell like waiting around here for the next fanfic
Trowa: ...... Go pokeball
Heero: .......
Donna: .........
Pokemon#3: Clefairy! Clefairy! (spins around in a circle and falls over, knocking it's head on a rock and waves a white flag in the air)
Brock: (sits back with Onix having tea)
Quatre: Can I join in!!! (run's over to them excitedly)
Trowa: ......Go Pokeball
Pokemon#4: Muk (runs over and hugs Trowa, leaving him covered in a grimy film)
Trowa: (pulls out gun and shoots Muk)
Muk: Mmmuuuukkkk (rolls over and dies)
Trowa: (Wipes off slime) My hair.......Go next Pokemon
Pokemon#5: Mewtwo, that is my name but this is not my destiny. I will not be controlled by you insolent humans. (Walks away leaving Trowa with one last Pokeball)
Trowa: Go last Pokemon
Pokemon#6: Psy ay ay duck!
Psyduck was born with a strange birth defect, it has a yellow unibang hanging over it's right eye.
Trowa: ........(stares at Psyduck)
Psyduck: .......(stares back at Trowa)
Andi: Oh brother, soul mates
Donna: I wonder what the kids will look like
5 hours 13 minutes and 27 seconds later
Psyduck: Psy y y duck. (faints with overexaustion of the staring contest)
Brock: (Wakes up and climbs out of sleeping bag) I won
Donna: Big surprise there
Heero: My turn
Andi: Hey, this is our story, not yours and we'll decide who goes when (Heero pulls out gun and aims at her) Heero, don't bother, all you have in your hand is a water gun. (He looks down and it's true) Ha, we're the authors and we're the powerful ones here. Go ahead if you want to though, we'll get our revenge later (psychotic laugh, head thrown up)
Ash: (steps up) You'll never beat me, I've made it to the Pokemon league and I almost won
Heero: (normal monotone voice) There isn't any almost in winning. You lost, big woop de do
Ash: Go Pigeot
Pigeot: Pigeot!
Heero: (tosses ball into the ring) go whatever you are
Cubone: Cubone bone!!
Heero: Bone club
Cubone: ????
Misty: It hasn't learned that attack yet
Heero: Leer
Cubone: (stares at Pigeot disabling it's defense)
Pigeot: Pigeot!! (shakes head and recovers)
Ash: Pigeot, use your whirlwind attack now!!!
Pigeot: Pigeot!!!! (Blows Cubone away where it hits Trowa in the head and knocks both of them unconscious)
Heero: Baka Pokemon (tosses the next one in the ring)
Geodude: Geo!! Dude!!
Wufei: Dud is more like it, he has no honor, he should worship Nataku and be saved
Geodude: (throws a rock at Wufei who falls to the ground in a daze and with a nosebleed)
Andi: Pervert, stop staring at Duo's ass so much and you could live a little longer
Donna: But I like his ass!
Andi: I wasn't talking about you dip shmucko
Donna: Hey, buddy, the boy is mine, back off
Duo: (Smiles) awesome, babes and pets
Ash: Pigeot, return, Go Squirtle!
Squirtle: Squirtle!! Squirt!!!
Ash: Give it your water gun!!!
Squirtle: SQUIRTLE!!!!!!! (Blows a stream of water at Geodude who falls over and dies instantly)
Heero: I lost again? (Glares up at the sky) You bakas!!!!! Kusotarre!!!!!!
Two beams of light come down from the sky and land in front of the pilots, they materialized into two human figures. One is short with long brown hair that falls below her knees and almond shaped brown eyes. The other is tall with shoulder length wavy brown hair and brown eyes. Both wear glasses and pissed off expressions on their faces
Donna: You big dork (she rushes up to him and punches him in the stomach, rendering him breathless
Andi: We want our Pokemon back, we have some new special ones for you
Heero: (shrugs and trades Pokemon, Donna and Andi stand on the side, smug smiles on their faces) Go Pokeball
Garlic Cloves: .........
Heero: (sweatdrop) I'm not fighting vampires here
Squirtle: Squirtle!!! (walks over and consumes the garlic in one breath)
Heero: Stop eating my Pokemon
Donna: It's not a Pokemon, it's my home grown garlic cloves
Duo: (Looks at Donna) Wow, you're a babe!!!!
Donna: Thank you, I try (smiles at him and forgets about Heero for the moment)
Heero: Next Pokeball
Mountain Dew can: .........
Andi: I drank it myself, just for you Heero because you're so wonderful and special (burps)
Heero: (trying to improvise) Use your fizz attack
Mountain Dew: ...... (doesn't obey)
Heero: Damn you girls
Donna: ..... (She and Duo are a little preoccupied)
Andi: We love you too Heero (looks at Donna and snickers) ever think about coming up for air?
Duo and Donna: ............
Heero: Mountain Dew, return, Go Pokeball
Dirty Diaper: ..........gurgle...........farts........
Heero: (huge sweatdrop) Diaper, give them your shit attack
Dirty Diaper: farts (poop comes from inside and attacks Squirtle. Squirtle runs around blinded by the poo over it's eyes and faints from the stench)
Heero: Uh, good job Dirty Diaper
Donna: (pulls away from Duo for a moment) Nasty (Goes back to Duo)
Ash: I can't believe Squirtle lost to a Dirty Diaper, go Bulbasaur
Duo: Yeah, I know my balls are sore
Donna: (slaps him and they go back to kissing)
Bulbasaur: Bulba!!!
Heero: Dirty Diaper return, Go thingy
Tom Green: Where the fuck am I?
Donna: (pulls away from Duo and screams with joy) You're awesome
Heero: I've seen you before, you're on the show Duo watches. Okay, give them your bum-bum attack
Tom Green: My bum is on the Bulbasaur, my bum is on the Bulbasaur, look at me my bum is on the Bulbasaur (shoves bum on Bulbasaur)
Ash: Bulbasaur, bite!
Bulbasaur: Bulba!!! (sinks teeth into fleshy buttocks)
Tom Green: (runs away singing) My bum need a doctor, my bum needs a doctor, some one help me, my bum needs a doctor
Heero: (sighs and chucks fifth pokeball into the ring) Go whatever the hell you are
Relena: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Heero: (shudders in revulsion) scary, okay Relena, use your introduction attack
Relena: (turns to Bulbasaur) I'm Relena Peacecraft, and you are? (hold out her hand)
Bulbasaur: (eyes widen and pupils dilate, all of a sudden he rolls over on his back, dead from brain hemorrhage)
Ash: Go Charizard!!
Charizard: Rahhhhhh
Relena: Oh dear, Heero help me
Heero: (Charizard licks lips hungrily, Heero notices and smiles evilly) Charizard, eat her, please! I'll love you forever!!!!
Charizard: (shrugs, picks up Relena and rips her in half, soon her spinal chord is whipped from her body and used as a toothpick as Charizard crunches on the last of her, purple ooze dripping from between his teeth. Her lung is hanging from one of his teeth and her prostate gland is dripping and oozing blood from his thumbnail) Tastes like chicken....Rahhhhhh
Heero: (smiles and does a little dance) Happy days
Duo: (looks up from Donna for the moment) you can say that again!
Andi: Shut up and go back to her, you're making me sick
Heero: Go last ball
Giant Monster Teddy-bear/Moose/Lion/Booger/Mr. Cain/Mrs. Rothenburger/Tom Cruise/Cartman/Leo Decraprio's arm/hyper-radioactive furby/purple teletubbie/Venus fly trap with Sailor Moons meatballs: Me Love you, squish, take notes, I wanna donut, mooo, grr, Mission impossible, I'm the king of the world!!! Oooo mmiiiii tahhh, gimme food, ahahahahahahahaahahahaah!!!!!!!! I'm not fat!!!!!! Stay away from fluffy!!!!!!!
Charizard: (is so confused and shocked by the monster creature, it rolls over and dies)
Heero: I won?
Andi: You cheater!!!! I should revise that on you!!!!!! I didn't put that there on my own
Donna: Hehehehe, I added some things, it made you're teddy bear interesting, it's a heart snatcher too, I wanna take Wufei's heart
Andi: You're forgetting, his heart belongs to his Gundam
Donna: I want the crystal
Big huge monster: (holds out meatball and sucks out Wufei's crystal
Donna: Put it back, it's black and ugly
Wufei: (gasping for air) Thank you
Setting: A big white house on the top of the mountain surrounded by clouds. Bigfoot is sleeping in a ledge under the house and at the commotion from above, covers ears and piles snow over its head.
Duo: No gimme! It's my turn to play!
Wufei: That action is unjustified. You just had a turn five minutes ago.
Trowa: ....
Quatre: (holding onto N64 controller) will you guys make up your mind so we can play?
Heero: (pulls out gun and aims at other pilots) It's my turn
All other three back away, hands held in mock surrender and let him have the controller.
Heero: What game is this again (sits down on the floor next to Quatre after sticking the gun back in the spandex)
Quatre: Pokemon stadium!!!
All other four: sweatdrops
One loud voice: Are you insulting my Pokemon game?? If you try that again, I'll hang you from your toenails, cut your spleen out, shove it up your nose, rip your spinal chord out and tie your balls in a knot with the bone in the middle so you all look like Pebbles.
Quatre: (Looks up at ceiling) I wasn't complaining, I like this game.
Another loud voice, slightly lower then the first: Too bad, you're in this fanfic, you're going to suffer like the rest. Oh yeah, wardrobe change.
Lightning crash and the clothing changes on each pilot leaving Trowa in Heero outfit, Wufei in a women's slinky crimson french slut's nightgown. Duo ended up in Quatre's pink shirt and Wufei's spooge pants with his hair bound up on his head and a pink bow with the wrong day of the week on it. Quatre was sitting on the floor in a pair of smile face boxer shorts and a 40HH bra.
Quatre: (looking down) eep!
The two voices: Oops! We did it again. Wrong outfits. Let's do it one more time
The five pilots all end up in jean shorts with different colored t-shirts on. Heero had on a dark blue shirt with the number 01 on the front. Duo's was black with a 02, Trowa, green with 03, Quatre had yellow with 04 and Wufei had on a Jeff Gordan tie-died t-shirt with 05 on the back and a 24 on the front.
Wufei: My honor!!!
First voice: I've got a lovely bunch of coconut diddly dee
Second voice: Laughs psychotically
Trowa: Who are you???
First voice: I'm Donna, and on behalf of the planet Moo I will chastise you all with my udders of justice
Wufei: (eyes lit up) Justice??!!
Donna: Don't get any idea's Wu-fag
Second voice: Be nice Donna, I'm Andi.
Donna: But that's not any fun!
Andi: Let's just write this stupid thing
Heero: I want that pink gumball with the big blue eyes.
Other pilots: snicker
Quatre: (sighs) Let's get on with it, I've got a Butterfree
Donna: Well so what? I've got a Gyradose and a Moltres, see if your stinking Butterfree can beat that!
Andi: Wait, new universe. I've got a good idea.
Donna: That's a first
Five boys go into crystals from various planets and are taken into the tv and deposited on an island.
Duo: (stands up and shouts up to the sky) Where are we?
Andi: You'll find out soon enough
The five pilots begin to wander through the woods, as various creatures come out of hiding and chatter. Heero pulls gun out of spandex and unloads a few rounds of ammo on them but to no avail being that his gun had been reloaded with Jell-O bullets with little doilies attached to them.
Donna: Ha! (looks around innocently) I wonder who would do such a thing?
Heero: (monotone) Omae o korosu (shoves gun back into spandex)
Andi: (glaring at him) Heero, be nice or I'll shove you in a dress.
Heero: .....
Andi: That's better, now going back to the deserted island
Donna: Heero, does that mean you agree with idea because I have a really cute purple dress that would look cute on you.
Heero: ......
Duo: I'm hungry
Wufei: Shut up before you cause me to resort to violence
Duo: (looks down as stomach grumbles)
Donna: (sighs and then throws various pieces of food down at them) Here fishy fishy fishy
After they finished their meal, the five pilots continued on their way until they reached a small clearing where there was a field set up for some kind of sport. There was three huts built on the side of it and there was a pool in back of them.
Quatre: Hello? Is anyone here?
Three people walk out of the huts, two guys, one with messy black hair and who looked younger then the five pilots and the other with dark brown hair and eyes that were shut. There was also a red-haired girl wearing an outfit that was worse then the clothes the authors came up with for the boys.
Donna: Are you insulting our fashion sense?
Andi: It could be a lot worse you know.
All five pilots: No, they're fine.
Donna and Andi in unison: Good, carry on
Trowa: Who are you?
Girl: I'm Misty (points to short kid) that's Ash (points to guy with shut eyes) he's Brock.
Duo: Aren't you the kids from that Pokemon series?
Ash: Yeah, they tied up Pikachu and told me if I wanted to get him back I had to come here.
Duo: (walks up to Brock and waves hand in front of his face) Why don't you open your eyes?
Brock: (punches Duo in the stomach) They are open
Heero: (steps in menacingly) That's my job, touch him again and....
Duo: (pipes up happily) You'll have a date with the God of Death
Donna: Play nice children, this is getting interesting. Oh, by the way, did we mention if you pilots want to get off this island you have to beat these guys in a Pokemon battle? If they all beat you, they get to leave, either way, someone is going to be stuck here for the next fanfic.
Quatre: There's a slight problem
Donna: What is it?
Quatre: We don't have any Pokemon
The two authors look at each other and sweatdrops: Oops
Donna: I knew we forgot about something!
A rain cloud drifted over the island and rained down Pokeballs, 30 to be exact. They fell from the sky, hitting the pilots and then landing in the sand, six in front of each pilot.
Andi: Better?
Quatre: Yes, thank you.
Duo: (stepped up to the circle on their side of the arena) Go little red and white ball thingy (tosses ball into ring)
All watch as it broke open and a white wave of light streamed out until it took on the shape of a strange little blue creature.
Creature: Marril!
Duo: (runs over to hug it) Kawaii!!!!! I love it!!!!! (looks up at the sky) Can I keep her?
Donna: Yeah, sure.
Duo: Your name is Shinigami
Shinigami: (claps hands together) Marril
Duo: No, Shinigami
Shinigami: Marril
Misty: They can only say the kind of Pokemon they are you dip-shmuck
Shinigami: (nods) Marril
Duo: Fine, go and do your thing, whatever it is.
Shinigami: (walks out into the arena and waits for it's opponent to appear)
Misty: I'm going to use my own water Pokemon (pulls out a ball) Go Staryu!
Staryu: (appears in the middle of the ring in front of Shinigami)
Misty: Staryu! Water gun!
Duo: Shinigami! Duck!
Shinigami: Marril? (rolls out of the way to avoid the attack)
Duo: Now what do I do? What can she do?
A book flies down from the sky and hits him in the head.
Duo: The official Pokemon handbook? Hey this thing could help! Thanks guys!
Andi and Donna: (in unison) No problem (massive amounts of giggling) There's a fee for that book by the way.
Duo: (scanning book) Okay Shinigami, give them your bubble-beam attack.
Shinigami: Marril! (spits out a stream of bubbles that hits the Staryu and knocks it into the wall but Staryu gets right back up using it's recovery attack)
Duo: Oh no!! How am I supposed to beat this thing?
Andi: Well, look at the book, find it's weakness.
Duo: That won't help, I don't know what kind of Pokemon I have until I get them out of the balls. I don't know if I have something that could beat it. (Lightbulb appears over head) I've got it!! (Throws all Pokeballs at once)
In the middle of the ring, five other creatures appear next to Shinigami.
#1: Pidgy
#2: Golbat
#3: Goldeen
#4: Bulbasaur (half dead and missing two legs, major sweatdrops all around)
#5: Kakuna
Shinigami: Merril?!
Duo: They're all so cute!!! I don't want to fight, I wanna go play with my new pets.
Donna: (snickers evilly) I picked them out for you myself Duo because I love you soooo much.
Duo: (points to Pidgy) Poo (points to Golbat) Deathscythe (points to Goldeen) Scale (points to half dead Bulbasaur) Maker (points to Kakuna) Heero
Heero: Omae o korosu.....Kusotarre. . .
Donna: really, now....Heero I suggest you behave or you'll regret it in the near future.
Andi: It would be wise to listen to her.
Duo: Anyway, HOW am I supposed to beat this thing?!
Wufei: They already told you. Use the book, weakling! How hard can it be? These are simple minded women running this fan-fic...honor less women.
Donna: Weak, eh? We'll see about that.
Andi: Weak? Well at least I'm not so insecure to blame all my problems on women rather than be a man and sucking it up....but as I have observed you seem to suck very well.
Wufei: (mumbles incoherently as the other guys snicker)
Duo: Go Deathscythe
Misty: Staryu, hyper beam!
Staryu: (uses hyper beam while grunting)
Deathscythe: (falls to the ground, eyes replaced by x's)
Hyper beam continues and hits Duo's pride.
Duo: (falls to knees) OUCHES!!!!!!!! AY CHIWAWA!! (voice is about seven octaves too high.)
The voice carries and it knocks all Pokemon unconscious including Misty. Staryu, however, is unaffected, making Misty the winner even though she's bleeding from the ears.
Donna: Poor baby, now who's next?
Trowa: ....... (steps forward)
Donna: Do you want to play Trowa?
Andi: Have fun, it's going to be you and Brock
Trowa: .......Hn......
Donna: Batter up! (snickers loudly)
Trowa: ...... (Tosses out a Pokeballs)
Pokemon #1: Abra
Trowa: ......
Donna: I'm going to be Trowa....... Narf.............
Abra: (Looks back at Trowa waiting for commands) Abra??
Trowa: ........
Donna: ........
Abra: (scratches back of head) Abra??
Trowa: ......
Donna: ........
Abra: (sweatdrops)
Brock: Go Onix
Onix: Onix!! (Knocks over Abra with a flick of it's tail. Abra's eyes are replaced by x's)
Trowa: ....... (tosses out another pokeball)
Pokemon#2: Ssssssssssllllllllllllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwppppppppoooooooookkkkkkkeeee
Trowa: (sweatdrop) ........
Donna: Ha! .........*thinks to herself* this is getting really boring, Trowa, you suck
Slowpoke: (Looks at Trowa sleepily)
Trowa: (stares at clouds) .........
Donna: I know what you're thinking, just bring it alright
Trowa: ........
Donna: Is that a challenge?
Trowa: .........
Slowpoke: Slow? Poke?? (falls asleep)
Onix: (swats Slowpoke with it's tail, Slowpoke rolls over and dies)
Trowa: ........
Heero: Would you even try? We don't fell like waiting around here for the next fanfic
Trowa: ...... Go pokeball
Heero: .......
Donna: .........
Pokemon#3: Clefairy! Clefairy! (spins around in a circle and falls over, knocking it's head on a rock and waves a white flag in the air)
Brock: (sits back with Onix having tea)
Quatre: Can I join in!!! (run's over to them excitedly)
Trowa: ......Go Pokeball
Pokemon#4: Muk (runs over and hugs Trowa, leaving him covered in a grimy film)
Trowa: (pulls out gun and shoots Muk)
Muk: Mmmuuuukkkk (rolls over and dies)
Trowa: (Wipes off slime) My hair.......Go next Pokemon
Pokemon#5: Mewtwo, that is my name but this is not my destiny. I will not be controlled by you insolent humans. (Walks away leaving Trowa with one last Pokeball)
Trowa: Go last Pokemon
Pokemon#6: Psy ay ay duck!
Psyduck was born with a strange birth defect, it has a yellow unibang hanging over it's right eye.
Trowa: ........(stares at Psyduck)
Psyduck: .......(stares back at Trowa)
Andi: Oh brother, soul mates
Donna: I wonder what the kids will look like
5 hours 13 minutes and 27 seconds later
Psyduck: Psy y y duck. (faints with overexaustion of the staring contest)
Brock: (Wakes up and climbs out of sleeping bag) I won
Donna: Big surprise there
Heero: My turn
Andi: Hey, this is our story, not yours and we'll decide who goes when (Heero pulls out gun and aims at her) Heero, don't bother, all you have in your hand is a water gun. (He looks down and it's true) Ha, we're the authors and we're the powerful ones here. Go ahead if you want to though, we'll get our revenge later (psychotic laugh, head thrown up)
Ash: (steps up) You'll never beat me, I've made it to the Pokemon league and I almost won
Heero: (normal monotone voice) There isn't any almost in winning. You lost, big woop de do
Ash: Go Pigeot
Pigeot: Pigeot!
Heero: (tosses ball into the ring) go whatever you are
Cubone: Cubone bone!!
Heero: Bone club
Cubone: ????
Misty: It hasn't learned that attack yet
Heero: Leer
Cubone: (stares at Pigeot disabling it's defense)
Pigeot: Pigeot!! (shakes head and recovers)
Ash: Pigeot, use your whirlwind attack now!!!
Pigeot: Pigeot!!!! (Blows Cubone away where it hits Trowa in the head and knocks both of them unconscious)
Heero: Baka Pokemon (tosses the next one in the ring)
Geodude: Geo!! Dude!!
Wufei: Dud is more like it, he has no honor, he should worship Nataku and be saved
Geodude: (throws a rock at Wufei who falls to the ground in a daze and with a nosebleed)
Andi: Pervert, stop staring at Duo's ass so much and you could live a little longer
Donna: But I like his ass!
Andi: I wasn't talking about you dip shmucko
Donna: Hey, buddy, the boy is mine, back off
Duo: (Smiles) awesome, babes and pets
Ash: Pigeot, return, Go Squirtle!
Squirtle: Squirtle!! Squirt!!!
Ash: Give it your water gun!!!
Squirtle: SQUIRTLE!!!!!!! (Blows a stream of water at Geodude who falls over and dies instantly)
Heero: I lost again? (Glares up at the sky) You bakas!!!!! Kusotarre!!!!!!
Two beams of light come down from the sky and land in front of the pilots, they materialized into two human figures. One is short with long brown hair that falls below her knees and almond shaped brown eyes. The other is tall with shoulder length wavy brown hair and brown eyes. Both wear glasses and pissed off expressions on their faces
Donna: You big dork (she rushes up to him and punches him in the stomach, rendering him breathless
Andi: We want our Pokemon back, we have some new special ones for you
Heero: (shrugs and trades Pokemon, Donna and Andi stand on the side, smug smiles on their faces) Go Pokeball
Garlic Cloves: .........
Heero: (sweatdrop) I'm not fighting vampires here
Squirtle: Squirtle!!! (walks over and consumes the garlic in one breath)
Heero: Stop eating my Pokemon
Donna: It's not a Pokemon, it's my home grown garlic cloves
Duo: (Looks at Donna) Wow, you're a babe!!!!
Donna: Thank you, I try (smiles at him and forgets about Heero for the moment)
Heero: Next Pokeball
Mountain Dew can: .........
Andi: I drank it myself, just for you Heero because you're so wonderful and special (burps)
Heero: (trying to improvise) Use your fizz attack
Mountain Dew: ...... (doesn't obey)
Heero: Damn you girls
Donna: ..... (She and Duo are a little preoccupied)
Andi: We love you too Heero (looks at Donna and snickers) ever think about coming up for air?
Duo and Donna: ............
Heero: Mountain Dew, return, Go Pokeball
Dirty Diaper: ..........gurgle...........farts........
Heero: (huge sweatdrop) Diaper, give them your shit attack
Dirty Diaper: farts (poop comes from inside and attacks Squirtle. Squirtle runs around blinded by the poo over it's eyes and faints from the stench)
Heero: Uh, good job Dirty Diaper
Donna: (pulls away from Duo for a moment) Nasty (Goes back to Duo)
Ash: I can't believe Squirtle lost to a Dirty Diaper, go Bulbasaur
Duo: Yeah, I know my balls are sore
Donna: (slaps him and they go back to kissing)
Bulbasaur: Bulba!!!
Heero: Dirty Diaper return, Go thingy
Tom Green: Where the fuck am I?
Donna: (pulls away from Duo and screams with joy) You're awesome
Heero: I've seen you before, you're on the show Duo watches. Okay, give them your bum-bum attack
Tom Green: My bum is on the Bulbasaur, my bum is on the Bulbasaur, look at me my bum is on the Bulbasaur (shoves bum on Bulbasaur)
Ash: Bulbasaur, bite!
Bulbasaur: Bulba!!! (sinks teeth into fleshy buttocks)
Tom Green: (runs away singing) My bum need a doctor, my bum needs a doctor, some one help me, my bum needs a doctor
Heero: (sighs and chucks fifth pokeball into the ring) Go whatever the hell you are
Relena: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Heero: (shudders in revulsion) scary, okay Relena, use your introduction attack
Relena: (turns to Bulbasaur) I'm Relena Peacecraft, and you are? (hold out her hand)
Bulbasaur: (eyes widen and pupils dilate, all of a sudden he rolls over on his back, dead from brain hemorrhage)
Ash: Go Charizard!!
Charizard: Rahhhhhh
Relena: Oh dear, Heero help me
Heero: (Charizard licks lips hungrily, Heero notices and smiles evilly) Charizard, eat her, please! I'll love you forever!!!!
Charizard: (shrugs, picks up Relena and rips her in half, soon her spinal chord is whipped from her body and used as a toothpick as Charizard crunches on the last of her, purple ooze dripping from between his teeth. Her lung is hanging from one of his teeth and her prostate gland is dripping and oozing blood from his thumbnail) Tastes like chicken....Rahhhhhh
Heero: (smiles and does a little dance) Happy days
Duo: (looks up from Donna for the moment) you can say that again!
Andi: Shut up and go back to her, you're making me sick
Heero: Go last ball
Giant Monster Teddy-bear/Moose/Lion/Booger/Mr. Cain/Mrs. Rothenburger/Tom Cruise/Cartman/Leo Decraprio's arm/hyper-radioactive furby/purple teletubbie/Venus fly trap with Sailor Moons meatballs: Me Love you, squish, take notes, I wanna donut, mooo, grr, Mission impossible, I'm the king of the world!!! Oooo mmiiiii tahhh, gimme food, ahahahahahahahaahahahaah!!!!!!!! I'm not fat!!!!!! Stay away from fluffy!!!!!!!
Charizard: (is so confused and shocked by the monster creature, it rolls over and dies)
Heero: I won?
Andi: You cheater!!!! I should revise that on you!!!!!! I didn't put that there on my own
Donna: Hehehehe, I added some things, it made you're teddy bear interesting, it's a heart snatcher too, I wanna take Wufei's heart
Andi: You're forgetting, his heart belongs to his Gundam
Donna: I want the crystal
Big huge monster: (holds out meatball and sucks out Wufei's crystal
Donna: Put it back, it's black and ugly
Wufei: (gasping for air) Thank you