A/N: Well... here is a very random fic that i decided to write, after reading Camilla Sandman's 'Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth' story. The whole concept of this idea is entirely her own, i just changed it a bit.

Enjoy :)

Chapter One

'I layed on the soft bed, staring into the beautifully gorgeous golden eyes of my luv, Edward Cullen. He turned his head on the pillow and locked my gaze. His cold white skin was so perfect, and he smelt so good that my breath caught in my throat. I knew what he was, but I was to scared too say. and i didnt care that he was a vampire, coz he loved me so much that he would never hurt me.

I felt one of his hard, yet incredibly soft fingers run down my face and the lids closed over his glistening topaz orbs as he leaned in…'

A smile spread across Mellany Browne's face. She removed her hands for the keyboard that she had been fervently typing at for the past two hours. She had just got to the most crucial part of her prized Twilight fanfiction, and excitement was bubbling up inside her at the anticipation of the reviews that would come flooding in. Many people had accused her original character of being a Mary Sue, but she knew that it was all nonsense. So what that she was ridiculously beautiful, and had made Edward completely forget about Bella? Everyone loved to read about such heroines.

Mellany sighed, removing her brown roughly cut fringe from her eyes and resumed typing. She loved writing fan fictions about Edward Cullen because it was as close as she could get to being with the real thing.

How wrong she was.

Ten minutes later when the scene she was writing had started to get incredibly tense, the screen suddenly blacked out. Mellany jumped, and checked her hard-drive in confusion. The small green light was still on. As she returned her gaze to the screen, a message flashed up in white font. She gave a small gasp as she read it.

'It has come to our attention that you are thinking about, discussing, or in the process of writing, planning, submitting or typing a fan fiction of a prohibited genre, pairing or plot. We can change this, but only if you let us. For more information, please read the email and attached application form that will be emailed to you momentarily.'

Mellany stared at the screen in shock. What on earth was this? Her screen returned to normal and a small ring sounded from her speakers, alerting that she had just received an email. Nervously, she opened up her hotmail account and sure enough, the content of the email seemed to be linked to the message she had just had thrust upon her. She began to forget her worry at these anonymous people having her email address as she read through what it said. It was completely ridiculous, and seemed to give the impression that she was going to go to some sort of academy and was asking her strange personal questions about her and her intentions towards Edward Cullen. One in particular caught her attention.

'Question Nine, Are you human, vampire or werewolf?'

Mellany snorted and considered claiming that she was a vampire just for a joke. What did it really matter? Why was she even filling in this ridiculous form at all? Nevertheless, she inserted an X in the 'human' box. When all the questions were answered, she sent the email back to the sender as it asked. Less than a minute later she received a reply.

'Thank you for your application, prepare to join us in Forks in the next 24 hours. Enjoy the rest of your day.'

Rolling her eyes, the sixteen year-old fan fiction writer switched off her computer and started to get ready for bed. It wasn't the first time she had stayed up past midnight writing fan fiction, and she knew she'd have to control herself a little more if she wanted to get some proper sleep. The strange ordeal she'd just been through was occupying her mind as she brushed her teeth and slipped under the covers.

The next morning Mellany woke up to the sound of her alarm clock. She'd was no longer concerned about the strange message and email she'd received; it all seemed like a dream. She ate breakfast and left for school as per usual, in the bright sunshine. She went through her classes with nothing odd happening, until she headed to the girls' toilets at lunch time. She's finished drying her hands, pushed back through the door leading into the corridor, and screamed.

She was in the middle of a forest. Blood pulsing through her veins, Mellany spun around to see the door she'd just come through, but there was nothing there. She began to panic and was so distressed that she didn't notice the petite, smart woman who had just approached her.

'Good afternoon. Now if you would just follow me, I will take you to your lodgings. Welcome to the Official Fanfiction Acadamy of Forks.'

Earlier that day…

'Excuse me, a moment of your time?'

Miss Smith spun around and her face crashed into an incredibly hard object, dressed in a shirt, tie and white coat. She raised her eyes to meet the gaze of the incredibly handsome, blonde man that had just addressed her.

'The little scheme of yours, how long is it going to take? Because I've taken time out of work for this-'

'Don't stress yourself Carl. At the end of this term it will seem as if no time has passed for either our hosts, lecturers or our students…you have my word.'

Carlisle Cullen raised one of his perfect eyebrows, giving Miss Smith a long speculative look. She stared back at him with a patronising commanding smile, before ushering him over to one of the rows of red plush seats. Despite being a foot taller than her, being practically immortal and having super-human strength, he still couldn't see himself wanting to get on the wrong side of this strange woman, so he obeyed her by taking a seat next to his wife.

Anybody who had clue what was going on, would probably have been amused by the selection of people in the large theatre. The seats on the left hand side of the isle were all taken up by the black clad Volturi. Sitting in the only remaining seat on the last row was Victoria. She was looking incredibly sulky. On the right, were the Cullens, the entire 'were-wolf' pack and a few poor humans that looked very confused as to what they were doing there. Amongst them were Mike Newton and Charlie Swan, who looked very uncomfortable next to his un-dead daughter and her new 'family'. Sitting on Bella's lap was Renesmee.

Miss Smith stepped up onto the podium and the entire room fell completely silent, waiting for her to speak. She gave a huge smile, stretched her short arms out and began.

'Welcome; humans, vampires and shape-shifters, to the Official Fanfiction Acadamy of Forks! I trust you have all settled in well and had a good night's sleep – those of you that can, of course.' She nodded towards Jacob's pack and the humans shifting nervously in their seats. 'Now onto the more serious matters. I am sure that you are all aware of the reason for your presence here, but I will explain again for anybody who is still not clear.

'I founded this academy because of the dreadful goings on that have happening back in the 'real world'. An entire partnership has been set up to educate young, ignorant teenagers who feel that they can use you in whatever way they like. The first university was set up in Middle Earth a few years ago and due to it's great success, institutions have been set up in every fictional universe to eradicate all AU, unnecessary slash, non-canon, poor characterisation, bad spelling, grammar and plots and of course – Mary Sues!'

Emmett Cullen raised a hand.

'What about Gary Stus?

'Yes, them too!' Miss Smith waved a hand dismissively. 'Now, any questions?'

'These…students,' Jessica said, narrowing her eyes slightly. 'They're not…dangerous are they?'

'To be honest, we have no sure way of knowing. They can have a tendency to be quite… persistent if they feel the need calls for it. I should warn you now though gentlemen, Mr Cullen especially' -nodding towards Edward- 'that they may stalk, mob, stampede or just generally try to 'get off with you' at any opportunity they can find. However Miss Stanley, I 'm pretty sure that you personally shouldn't be troubled by them too much.'

Edward Cullen had gone, if possible, even whiter than he already was while Miss Smith was talking. Renesmee clambered onto his knee and wrapped her small arms around him to try to make him feel better. 'When will they be coming?' he whispered.

'They will start to arrive this afternoon, and will all be assembled for dinner. Now, on to my second point. This may come as a bit of a strain for some of you, but I can assure it is in the best interests of us all, and especially for the students. Any 'special powers' that any of you have will be disabled throughout this entire ordeal.'

A roar of outrage erupted throughout the entire theatre, but was immediately silenced when Miss Smith blew a whistle.

'We can't have our students constantly worried that they are going to be harmed by any of you. Moreover, I doubt Mr Cullen, that you really wish to be tormented by the contents of their minds for the next few months. That brings me on to another major point. I am aware that this is a huge risk that we are taking here, and if any of you vampires feel that you are having problems with your…self-control, clothes pegs will be provided for blocking your nasal passages.'

Edward was looking sick again, but slightly relieved at being spared from the fantasies of these 'students'. Rosalie however, was mortified at the idea of wearing a clothes peg on her nose.

'Well that's just about everything for the moment,' Miss Smith said, rubbing her hands together. 'Although we will need to prepare ourselves for their arrival. You lot-' she waved towards the Volturi, who were just getting up to leave. 'We want to give them all the best greeting possible. Stand at the gates and pull off some of your 'European hospitality', they wont know what's hit them. I myself will be picking up stragglers and guiding them towards the academy. Now, goodbye!'

She stepped down from the podium as the Volturi raised their eyebrows at each other.

'European hospitality?'