I writing this based on the Movie when the sorting hat would say all the things he'd sain in the books in the characters head out loud instead.
I don't own Harry Potter
The Wrong House
James Potter, a second year Gryffindor, flicked a potato across the table which bounced innocently off Peter Pettigrew's head. He looked around ignorantly for the person who sent the offending object his way.
His friend, Sirius Black, watched as the first years walked in, all scared and shaky as they marvelled at the grand room. The other houses watched too.
James spied Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy beside Severus Snape, more commonly known to Gryffindor as 'Snivillus' , who was reading a book and looked completely uninteresting in all the goings on.
McGonagall stood at the frond and began reading name s "Abbot, Helen"
A little girl with blond hair walked up to the hat and the hall was silent as it made its verbal assessment of her mind before shouting "Gryffindor!"
Sirius and James stood up and cheered loudly, banging their fists on the table while a red-haired witch sitting farther away called Lilly Evans, rolled her eyes.
"Ginger, Romulus"
A boy with auburn hair and green eyes took his place, after the same treatment from the hat was the announcement "Slytherin!"
This time James and Sirius and much of Gryffindor booed and jeered and the frightened little boy found an empty space in the house of green.
"Pureblood" Remus remarked as he was welcomed by Lucius. The next boy to be put in Slytherin had a muggle sounding name, his reception wasn't as warm.
"Wanna bet how many new Lions we'll get this year" Sirius asked Remus Lupin and Peter. Remus only have a smile while Peter nodded enthusiastically,
"I'll be happy with whoever the hat chooses" Remus said.
"I feel sorry for the little buggers that end up in Slytherin" James said, as he watched them twitching and fighting anxiously, "Recon anything interesting will happen this year?"
Sirius sniggered "Nothing will be able to top out entrance last year mate, remember how we tricked Peeves into flooding the kitchen with ketchup? Now that was an interesting first year"
"Yeah, especially how all the Slytherins food was red, no one could top that?"
"Jacob, Abigail" professor McGonagall called
This time, a small witch with short black hair to the nape of her neck , very dark eyes and light brown asian skin stepped up to the platform, she paused at the dais, looking out towards the houses and then sat down on the stool as the sorting had was placed on her head. It fell to her eyebrows but she pushed it back.
The seam of the hat split open in a mouth-like fashion as it considered the witch it sat on. "What an…interesting mind you have" it spoke out loud, its voice echoing across the great hall "Keen, very keen, a real thirst for knowledge, you'd make a marvellous Ravenclaw and a adherence to what's right, not a good Hufflepuff I think, Gryffindor perhaps, a very outspoken mind this is, with interesting ideas. Yes, there's talent and intelligence but … very little ambition. Why, there's almost no ambition at all, only a desire to remain as small and unnoticed as possible. Well, this just won't do, not with a mind like this, better be SLYTHEIRN!"
James stood with Sirius and the rest of Gryffindor and booed as the girl was sorted into Slytherin "Not another slimy snake" Sirius barked.
Severus only glanced up once then turned back to his book, completely uninterested.
"Janice, Lau…" McGonagall began, then paused and to Severus's surprise the booing from the infernal Griffindors also stopped.
He glanced up to see the little dark haired witch had not yet moved from the chair as she held the hat firmly on her head with an expression of complete and absolute disgust, her mouth open in horror. "Eh!" she exclaimed
"Miss Jacob" McGonagall said, pursing her lips "Please will you remove yourself form the platform and take your place with your housemates so everyone else may be sorted." Beside Severus, Bellatrix sneered.
James watched with interest, as the witched face grew whiter and whiter, then suddenly…
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" she exploded, startling every teacher on the table
"NO, NO BLOODY WAY! I'm not going there, no way on this earth, you want to stick me into Slytherin! Are you crazy you stupid hat!" she jammed the hat further on her head "Sort me somewhere else, anywhere else, even bloody Hufflepuff is better than this!"
Sirius gave a hoot, Peter squeaked and Remus's mouth fell open. No one questioned the sorting hat, no one. Especially not in public like this.
"I'd be horrified myself if I'd been put in Slytherin" James whispered, but even he stared in shock.
Severus was surprised to realise he didn't feel offended at the first year's blatant disregard for his house, though he did raise an eyebrow and the vehemence of which she jammed the hat on her head chanting "Sort me somewhere else, anywhere else, sort me in the house of the bloody goldfish for all I care, but not there, anywhere but Slytherin, this is so wrong!"
"Miss Jacob!" McGonagall exclaimed.
"No see here Miss" Slughorn said, getting up in his seat "There's no need for that!"
"Are you joking" she said "Of course there is! I mean no disrespect Professors, really I don't, but this is insane. "She looked out towards the great hall and the Slytherin table in general "I'm gonna say this right now, but I'm Muggleborn"
A hiss of outrage escaped from Lucius, Severus looked on in mild surprise. Well, well, this was interesting.
When there was no response from the teachers she reiterated "Did you hear me? Muggleborn, as in no witch or wizard parents before me, 100% normal until I shoed p and blew up the kettle and damn proud of it. My Mum is awesome; my siblings are brilliant, I'm damn proud of myself. I like to learn, so what I don't want to stick out and I'm a bit of a coward, frankly my dear I don't give a damn, does it really matter if I'm not that ambitious?"
Beside him Severus could feel the waves of rage rolling off Bellatrix and Lucius.
The girl glanced at the Slytherins like she was looking at a nasty run-over cat on the street and looked up towards Dumbledore with a dismayed expression "You see! I'm not even doing anything, I'm just sitting on a damn stool and already they're glaring at me like they want me to burst into flames. Well I'm not going into a house of people who are going to spend seven years of my life calling me a mudblood and treating me like shit. No way!"
Sirius's hooting turned into full blown laughter; even Severus had a grim smile. He hadn't been partial to Slytherin at first himself, but even he agreed putting a Muggleborn here had bad idea written all over it. Maybe she did belong in Slytherin; her sense of self-preservation was certainly a sight to behold. Course, no self-respecting Slytherin would ever exclaim something like this so foolishly and make so many enemies on the first day; that was Ravenclaw and Gryffindor behaviour"
"I'm afraid" Dumbledore said when McGonagall couldn't get her words out past her shocked splutters "That the sorting hats word if final my dear, I'm sorry if the result was not to your liking…"
"To my liking? I'm sorry, but it's more than not to my liking, it's a bloody disaster. Damn Hat didn't even wait for me to tell it why this was such a bad idea, it just went 'Slytherin on this own' well I'd rather be a muggle!"
She slammed the hat down farther on her head till it almost engulfed her face "Now either you sort me somewhere else you stupid hat, or I'm going to get back on the train, go home and become something mundane, like a watchmaker or and electrician or something equally boring and very. Very muggle"
Sirius grinned "I think we just got out done mate, apparently there is someone who hates Slytherin more than us"
When the hat didn't reply she sighed and took it off "Thank-you for inviting me here professor, but I think I can see myself out"
And she walked out the door, leaving the great hall in silence.
And there you go,
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