Incandescent
AN: The. Apprentice. Lives. Those three words broke me on Saturday. To think, last time Ahsoka saw Anakin he was the poster boy of the Clone Wars and a pleasant guy. Now, he's a self loathing mechanical monstrosity who knows nothing but suffering. How very tragic. To try and calm myself, and maybe other people, I wrote what I think each of them thinks of the other.
I reached out, trying to figure out who this presence was. It felt so…familiar, yet at the same time, so foreign. I focused on the presence, and felt something snap. No…no…no no no no NO! It can't be! There's no way HE could've turned into THAT. I begged for something to tell me it wasn't true, but never received the comforting disproval of the fact. How? How could something like this have happened? If I had stayed with the Jedi…could I have prevented this?
There's nothing I can do now. The flame has already been burned out, and I don't think I can reignite it. Not wanting to face reality, I let the cool darkness of unconsciousness take me
The Apprentice Lives. I had very mixed feelings about this. I spent the last fifteen years trying to erase all traces of my former self. To make it as if that naïve fool never existed. Now, another link to him has appeared. But, do I really want to destroy her? She never betrayed me, was always by my side. Even when I was clearly wrong. Part of me was oozing with pride that she'd survived. I taught her well. Even if I wanted to destroy her, she could probably take me on in a fair duel. Especially with this abomination holding me back.
I crushed that thought. No. No one can defeat me. I am a Sith, and a Sith has no time for useless emotions such as remorse and guilt. Then why are those the emotions that make up the very fabric of my soul? This revelation only strengthened that. But, I felt a…snippet (I laughed grimly at my pun) of hope. A small light in all the darkness. Alas, the darkness still ruled all. And as long as that's happening, hope means nothing.
AN: Okay…maybe that just made me feel worse. At least writing this was fun. If anyone is interested in me turning this into a full-on redemption fic, let me know. I'd be happy to do so.