Shades of colour
War had arrived in the Wizarding World. A world that was normally full of colour and joy was now filled with darkness and fear. The war was ripping on the families and on friends. It was dividing a world and it washed away all the colours, till there was nothing left, but darkness. And the hopes of all the people laid with one boy: the boy who lived, Harry Potter.
Remus Lupin was no ordinary man, well in fact he was only half human. His other half had been taken by a dark curse. Remus John Lupin was a werewolf. And he was suffering because of it every day of his life. He hated this part of him more than anything. And because he couldn´t provide any kind of safety, he never planned to fall in love. But of course life had a different plan…
And that was the reason why Remus was wandering the hills near Ottery St. Catchpole this late afternoon. He was on his way to the Burrow, the home of Molly and Arthur Weasley and al their freckled, red-haired children. Some hours earlier he had been screamed at by Andromeda Tonks, that he was a selfish little man with not even a bit of honor and that she wouldn´t even think about telling him where her daughter was at the moment. Which she did in the end, because before everything else she was a mother and she wanted her daughter to be happy more than anything. And that´s how Remus found out that Tonks was with the Weasleys, to spend time with her childhood friend Charlie, the second oldest Weasley boy. Tonks… Nymphadora Tonks… the person Remus thought about every minute of every day. Still he had left her pregnant… with his child, fearing of the consequences his actions might have. What if this kid, his kid, would be a werewolf too? And even if not wouldn't it be better off without a father like him? It had taken him some time to realize how unfair and untrue he had been to his wife. Well, he had needed some help too. From no one else than Harry Potter. When Harry told Remus what an idiot he was. Harry reminded him more than ever of his father, James Potter. It made Remus think about what his friends would think of him now, the Marauders: James and Sirius even Peter, this filthy little rat. Their voices in his head made him overthink his decision, for they had been the only ones who had seen him for who he truly was, until Nymphadora Tonks… Dora. He knew now, that he had to go back to her and fight, because if she couldn´t see the man behind the beast anymore how could anyone? How could Remus see himself?
In exact this moment Remus reached the magical border surrounding the Burrow. The Weasleys had raised their safety precautions when the war started. Now Remus had to wait for Arthur Weasley to return home from his work at the Ministry of Magic, so he could let him in. He didn´t have to wait very long. After half an hour Arthur was standing in front of him. Remus looked at him shyly. He knew he was looking awful. The last full moon had been only a week ago and he was still very battered. But Arthur smiled and hugged him "You behaved really badly, Remus." "I… I know, Arthur, it´s good to see you… Is… is… she with you?" Arthur sighed "Yes, she is. And although you were a really bad husband I hope she forgives you, because you both deserve your happiness. Even if one of you hasn´t been able to see it yet." Remus smiled sheepishly "I think maybe now I do… see it, Arthur… Thank you and Molly… and Charlie of course… for looking after her." Arthur tapped Remus on his shoulder, then the two men stepped over the magical border and entered the place around the Burrow…
They could see a big table with some people from the far. "I think they´re having a cup of tea." Arthur said. Remus counted. Five persons where sitting around the table. Five was very little for the Weasley family. "By the way Ron is fine. He is with Harry and Hermione. They´re all fine." he said." "Thank God. The hardest of times and I don´t even have half my children around me, to cheer me up." Arthur sighed. Remus looked at him with jealousy "You´re a great father." Arthur turned to look at him "And you´re going to be a great one, Remus John Lupin." Remus opened his mouth to say something and closed it again. "I think they´ve discovered us…" said Arthur. They were now only 50 meters away from the house and the people all stared at them. Remus gulped "Now or never" he thought and he and Arthur made their way to the big table, on which would have been place for more than twice as many people as those who were sitting there. Four redheads and one brunette looked at them with their mouths wide open.
"Hello Lupin." Charlie said, "What gives us the honor?" Remus looked sheepishly at him and then turned his head in Tonks direction, as if that would answer Charlie's question, which it did. "I believe we haven´t been introduced yet, well my name is Charlie and you are an idiot." Charlie said. Arthur started to say "Charlie that was not very pol…", but was then interrupted by Remus "It´s alright Arthur. He´s got a point there." Then Remus looked at Tonks again. She was staring at the floor since Remus had arrived. "Nymphadora…" he started, but Tonks broke in on him "Don´t call me Nymphadora, Remus!" That made Remus chuckle, she hadn´t changed a bit. "What is there to laugh at?" she asked obviously angry. Remus knew this look and calculated that he should better but on a serious face again. "Ehm… Tonks… I wondered if we could maybe have a… little conversation… ehm…somewhere private." Remus felt pretty awkward, with Charlie and Mrs. Weasley looking at him angry, while Fred and George obviously found the whole matter more than funny, but this was actually no surprise since they found everything more than funny. "You can talk in the house." Arthur said. Therefor he got a terrifying look from Molly, who apparently thought Remus behaving "very inappropriate", how she would tell him later on. "Tonks? Please talk to me…" Remus said. And for the first time since he had left her Tonks looked him in the eyes. It was like watching into her soul, because despite the angry look she still had on her face Remus saw all her feelings from the past weeks. From all the days and all the nights she had spent without him. Like she would have stored them deep in her heart just to put all those feelings in to this one look. Her eyes were full of disappointment, fear, anger, hatred, sadness and still… full of love. Tonks rose from her chair and went into the house without saying a word or even looking at her husband again. Remus nodded at the Weasleys and followed her.
They were standing across from each other in the kitchen, not saying a word. Tonks stared to the floor again. "Tonks…look at me, please." said Remus. Tonks looked at him. Remus tried a smile "It´s good to see you." Tonks punched him. Remus moaned in pain "Good punch. Guess I deserve this…" "Yes you do. "Good to see you"? If it is so good to see me why haven't you come back earlier?" she screamed now. "Why did you even go in the first place? I waited for you to come back every hour of every day. You were all I could think of. You and how I could raise a child all on my own." Tonks was trying to held back the tears but she couldn´t. She didn't cry because she was weak it was because she had been strong for too long. For far too long. She hadn´t cried since Remus had left. Not even once. She had kept all her anger all her wretchedness locked up inside herself and now it was bursting out. Remus looked at her full of despair. "I´m sorry Dora. I know words can never make up for what I did, but… I… let me explain why I left. When you told me you were pregnant…" "I know why you left Remus. You feared for the child because of your werewolfness and your old doubts about yourself came out again. But this doesn´t excuse it… I thought we were over this." she said. He nodded "When I married you I made a promise. To be there for you in good times and in bad… I wasn´t. I broke my promise… Dora all of this hasn´t changed my opinion a bit. I´m not worthy of you. I´ve never been and now I´ve proved it. The one who has left you was not the monster. It was the man. It is not the monster that is hurting you it is the man, because he keeps making all the wrong choices. I know you see the man behind the beast, but he has got flaws too." said Remus. "I know that, but I love you for who you are Remus Lupin. When I was in 4th grade Professor Sprout said something to me. I had almost forgotten it but when I fell in love with you it just popped into my head." Tonks said. "What did she say?" Remus asked. "She said that I´m abnormally attracted to danger situations and people. Now I realize that she was right. I don't care how dangerous you are Remus… Wait, when you haven´t changed your opinion why did you come back?" Remus thought about that a while then he said "Honestly… I don´t know. I know this seems strange, but the only thing I know right now… is that I can´t live without you, Nymphadora Tonks. I want this to work. I want us to work. This world is full of despair right now. We all are. I figured that my last day… everyone's last day could come anytime now and when it does come I´d rather spend it with you than anyone else. I don´t care if I´m being selfish right now… He was interrupted by Tonks "Remus, you´re the most selfless man in the world all you ever did was to protect the people you love. You couldn't even be selfish if you tried." "I think I know now… why I came back… because I want to be happy and the only way I can is through being with you. For that I have to forgive myself and I´m not there yet. I need your help, Dora. And the first step is for me to make you forgive me." Remus said. "That won´t take you very long, because I already have. I´ve already forgiven you when I realized you were gone." Dora said. Remus looked at her surprised. One little tear rolled over his cheek, when he stepped closer to his wife and hugged her. He felt how she relaxed in his arms. He took her face into his hands, linking his eyes with hers, in his look all the love of the world and when their lips touched, her hair slowly changed its colour. The dark and dull brown became brighter and brighter and when Remus released Doras lips her hair had taken the colour of bubblegum. "Much better" Remus said.
And although it was just a little shade of pink it meant a lot more than that. It meant that there was a little bit more hope in a world full of fear and a little bit more colour in a world full of darkness.