My Bloody Smile

A smile was placed gently on my face as I saw Naruto kiss 'her. They were married now weren't they? It seems that everyone in Kohona is accepted by someone but me. Neji has father, Hanabi also has my father, Naruto has 'her', Sakura has Lee, Shikamaru has Temari, and Ino has Chouji, Kiba has Shino. But I had one. At first I wanted Naruto but I knew I could never have him. Later someone cared for me, someone for once wanted me.

Sasuke was always kind to me, but in public we were no more than just fellow Genin. It was secret, hidden oh so deep inside the both of us. His hugs and kisses were very rare, but when he did give them I never wanted to leave his warm embrace. But he's gone now. He left and barely gave a goodbye.

I miss him. After he left I started cutting, it got rid of the pain. If only for a little while. But lately I've been cutting deeper and a lot more. On missions I try to get injured to just feel the wonderful sensation of pain. They don't know. They don't look. They see me and no problems, just me. Its seems more like they look through me then at me. If they saw I don't think they would care.

I leaned over to the side of my bed to grab one of my many kunai; my fingers grazed the tips lightly. Drawing small droplets of my blood. I smiled and slowly lapped at the blood dripping from my finger. I grabbed the kunai tightly and dug it deeply into my left wrist; I left out a light gasp but continued to drag the kunai through my flesh. I pulled the kunai out only to replace it higher in my left arm. I continued the cuts multiplied before my eyes, they became deeper and deeper until I couldn't see where the cut began or ended. I couldn't stop, it just felt too great. All over my left arm the new cuts bled while the old ones only mocked me, the new ones would soon as well. Even through the pain and the rate I was losing my blood, I couldn't, no I wouldn't stop. I smiled; it was too perfect a moment.

My door was slammed open and Neji, Hanabi, and father walked into my room. I guess I loved their stares because I still continued with a bloody smile that happened to grace them with its presence. They were yelling and screaming, maybe crying? But probably not. They wouldn't cry for me. Neji tried to grab the kunai but I still held a firm grip on it. Father didn't move, he didn't need in his eyes I'm useless. Useless! Neji grabbed one of his own kunai and with the blunt end he knocked me unconscious.

I had a dream but it was more like a nightmare. It was about Sasuke, he left e again but this time with more parting words. HE told me that he never loved me and everything we had was a lie, he said he was using me and that now that I was useless to him he would leave. But the thing the hurt the worst was when he looked at me. His eyes showed disgust and that scared me.

I opened my eyes to immediately close them again. The lights were too bright. I heard voices but couldn't understand them. I think it was about me being awake. I slowly sat up and turned to the window, totally ignoring everyone. I could have stayed that way but they brought in my friends, though I can't really call them that anymore.

They were worried about me, weird; Sakura was trying not to cry but failing. Kiba and Shino looked shocked to say the least but I turned back to the window and continued to ignore them. They were calling my name but I never once looked at them until Naruto grabbed my shoulders and shook me, as if trying to shake some sense into me. It would never work. Naruto just couldn't handle it, and he did the worst thing possible, he garbed my arm. You know that the hospital gown have no sleeves so they saw all of my cuts. And since some of them were still new when he grabbed them they started to0 bleed again. Sakura broke down crying. My arm was covered, there was no space left untouched though oddly enough I was quite proud of it. Naruto started to yell at me and I couldn't hear him. They wouldn't stop yelling, all the sound blurred together and it was staring to hurt. With a voice I didn't even know I had I yelled," Get Out!"

My first yell was at my so called friends. They were all so shocked; they never knew that I had that voice. That me the quiet little shy Hinata could or would yell. They left and Tsunade came in and looked at me full of worry. "I don't need your pity Tsunade." It shocked her. I continued to look at my window and just looked out at nothing. At about 6pm everyone left me alone. Not once did father come, I didn't think he would. I sat up quickly and got out of bed. I grabbed my clothes from the dresser and got dressed; I had to get out of here.

I needed weapons but I couldn't find my own, Tsunade probably took them. I walked out of my room and stole Naruto's and Sakura's weapons. They slept peacefully and I had to smile at it. I glanced at them one last time before running out of the hospital. I couldn't leave this village it was my home, so I chose to die here. I ran a little outside of Kohona and stopped at a waterfall.

It was where Sasuke and I first talked to each other. We had both gone there to train. But instead we talked the whole time. It was kind of weird that we got along so well. But it was nice to finally have someone to talk too; someone who wouldn't just nod and pretend they cared. No, someone who really listened to me.

I sat at the top and slowly brought out one of the kunai I had stolen. The memories of what we had were starting to hurt. I held the kunai tightly in my right hand then placed my left hand firmly on the ground. I don't know why but I started to cry, maybe because I missed him or maybe it was something else. I slammed the kunai straight through my left hand and screamed, all in just four seconds. The blood oozed from my hand getting everywhere. I continued to scream. I'm sure the people in Kohona could hear me, but I didn't care. Tears continued run down my face. I tried to move my left hand to just scream louder. I held that scream so long that I don't think I would be able to talk later, only if I survive. It might have sounded like bloody murder but this is not even close.

This is suicide.

Everyone seemed to run there, including my father. They saw me in pain but I had stopped screaming and moving, knowing that if I moved there would be only more pain. But I wanted this, I wanted to die. I think I might have seen worry in my fathers eyes but if I did it was quickly replaced by rage. He started to yell at me and the pain in my hand decreased. I slowly smiled; I was so close to get what I wanted. ANBU had to hold my father back; he most likely wanted to kill me. I grabbed a few senbon I stole and slammed them into different parts of my body. My arms, my legs, and my whole body, Not my face though I wanted them to see my pain. I was about to slam one into my neck but Kiba saw me and grabbed my hand before I could. "Don't stop me Kiba, please don't stop me. I want to die." Kiba shook his head 'no' and pulled out the kunai and senbon, Sakura quickly ran up at started to heal me. I could tell Kiba wanted to scream or yell maybe cry but he held it in by biting his bottom lip. It started to bleed and I smiled.

"You fool." Sakura and Kiba looked shocked to say the least. "Why? Why can't you let me die? Why!?!?!" Kiba looked at me and a solo tear ran down his face as he hugged me. He said that it was stupid that I wanted to die, that I had a home and friends here why would I want to leave them? Easy. Because it's all a lie.

I wanted to listen to Kiba but I couldn't hear his voice. Just his.

They all watched me now some wanting to see what I would do next others were worried. But not many. I gulped at breathed my last, as I thought it was. I quickly grabbed the pill I had stashed with my kunai. I looked at Kiba and brought the pill to my mouth, only I could see it, and quickly swallowed it. I felt the poison take it affects rather quickly. My organs were being eaten away.

I started to cough up blood. Lots and lots of blood. I know it was a bad time but at that moment I remembered a poem Sasuke read to me. It fit the moment oh so perfectly.

Father was still yelling at me then it seemed as if time had stopped, "Hinata you're a disgrace to the Hyuuga clan! I thought you might be able to be the heir but you proved me wrong! You are no longer a Hyuuga!"

I continued to cough up blood but now my tears mixed into it. The colors were fading and to me everything looked black. I felt the blood dripping from my mouth in a straight line. Everything started to blur together but I saw one last thing before I blacked out again.

My father stared at me in pure disgust before walking away.

I remember that once on accident I kissed Sasuke. It seemed he didn't mind it because he kissed me back. After we broke apart I tried to apologize but he said it was okay while blushing, he looked so cute. He ended up kissing me again. That had been my first kiss of many to come and I have yet to forget it. I just wish he was still here but if he wants power I'll stand back and watch him walk away again.

In the dark nothingness I saw Sasuke's rare smile, he only showed it to me and I loved it. It always made me feel better. Partly because it was someone really smiling at me. But it was mostly because it was from Sasuke.

To tell the truth my first thoughts of suicide starting a year after Hanabi was born. Everyone seemed to love her and I was just trash that needed to be taken out. When I told Sasuke he was shocked beyond belief. He hugged me tightly and begged me to NEVER commit suicide.

I'm so sorry Sasuke, I broke our promise.

This time when I woke up everything was different. I was in a dark room, the windows and exits were barred, and I was chained to the bed. They had locked me up, I guess it fits. I kept trying to kill myself only to be saved each time, that's pretty pathetic. I'm not even a Hyuuga anymore. They took my weapons away again but I still had my Byakugan. But if I did that I would need to hurry. I quickly activated my Byakugan and placed both my hands gently over my heart. My heart was in bad condition because of what Neji did to it in the Chuunin exams, I would make it worse. The door slammed open and Kiba ran in. You might be curious as to why it's always Kiba that saves me, it's because we're teammates but more than that we're friends. He looked at me and I smiled at him before giving a gentle giggle. He didn't move, I think he couldn't, tears ran down his face as he repeatedly shook his head 'no'.

I gave him a nod and looked down at my hands before whispering, "I love you Sasuke." Then I pushed both of my hands against my chest. Both of them hit the Chakra channels to my heart. I would die soon.

Kiba ran forward ad started to yell my name and shake me. I just continued to smile at him as he cried and screamed for someone to save me. He started to choke on his tears and I reached my hand up and brushed his tears away before putting my index finger to his lips in a sign to stop talking. He shook he head and started to yell again but his yells got quieter. I was confused because then I couldn't hear his yells at all. His lips kept moving but no sound came. Soon his color faded away and he started to blur. "Goodbye." He looked my way I suppose I couldn't see him anymore. "Kiba." Then his image vanished and everything was black and silent. I felt my breath shorten until it stopped. And I guess I died still smiling. I wouldn't have it any other way.

That day it rained and the day of her funeral it rained worse. The heavens mourned the death of their angel. Many people came to her funeral but many did not come. They had placed a picture of her and her team on her coffin they were all smiling even Hinata.

Her father and Hanabi didn't come. Hiashi forced Hanabi to train instead of attend her sisters funeral. Though every other Hyuuga was allowed to go. And Hanabi had wished to pay her respects to her elder sister.

A dark figure watched the girls' funeral with a grim look. She was buried and then everyone left not wanting to be near this place anymore. The shadow jumped down and looked at her tombstone.

Hyuuga Hinata

16

A Beautiful Bird

That Never had the Chance to Fly

A Flower, Wilted

Before it Could Bloom

We Will Forever Miss You

A light flashed over the shadow. Sasuke stood there barely breathing. "Hinata you promised." Sasuke turned around and barely smiled, "Its ok I broke mine too." Sasuke vanished planning to return to Orochimaru.

Soon another grave would be built next to hers and that's where Sasuke would be. He could first kill Orochimaru and then try to kill his brother. He knew he would die but he had it so where ever he dyed someone would take him back to Hinata. Because even in death he wanted to be next to his Hinata forever.

THE END