And here I am again! Sadly, it is not an update to Onward to Ruin, but for those of you reading it, I will get back to it in the near future. You just get this as a little treat while you wait.

The idea for this story was actually from a dream I had earlier this week, and when I told it to Skiba, she thought it would make an interesting fic. I honestly have no idea where I'm going to go with this; I just really had a need to write it because the idea is so fascinating to me. Currently I have a second part to this story, and a couple of other parts I want to explore, but aside from that, I have no idea. If any of you who read this and enjoy it have an idea you'd like to pitch, I will be quite grateful, and as always I appreciate any and all reviews.

Now for the important stuff:

Pairing: Sephiroth/Zack

Rating: T for now, it may go to M later

Warning: Language, slash, possible sex

Don't own... still.

Well enough of Sinnii's rambling. Let's get to it!

Zack had had a strange feeling about the assignment the moment they received it. He and Sephiroth had been ordered to inspect the Sector six reactor after reports came in of intruders lurking within it. More than likely it had been AVALANCHE, and while Zack wasn't very familiar with them, Sephiroth had been sent on several missions before dealing with suppressing the terrorist group, so he knew well what the mission more than likely entailed.

The youth had not questioned the mission, it seemed pretty straightforward: head to the reactor, look around, and if anyone's there that shouldn't be, deal with them. They were to take a few fellow operatives with them along with some from the army to provide backup and make sure no intruders escaped, and the mission would likely be done in little time… at least, that's what they'd been told. Still, Zack had not been able to shake the odd feeling that something was off, that something would go wrong.

At times like these, he would usually confide in Sephiroth; even when they'd just begun to be in regular contact—Zack called them friends, Sephiroth had not been so ready to use such a term—Zack had the feeling that he could talk to the man, even if he seemed like he wasn't listening. Once the two became lovers, Zack told him almost everything; he'd told him of his fears, his more embarrassing passions, his family, all in the effort of showing trust, and it was not long before Sephiroth began to do the same. This time however—for a reason he could not place—Zack kept his concerns to himself.

The mission seemed to be going smoothly; the two Firsts and their men had been deployed to the reactor, and the exploration of the reactor seemed to be going well and upon careful investigation of its interior, no one had been found. Finding the reactor clear of intruders had put Zack's mind at ease… but only for a while.

He and Sephiroth, being the strongest of their group, ventured into the mako reactor's core where AVALANCHE more than likely would have set up explosives. The SOLDIER Thirds that accompanied them were positioned in the outer areas of the reactor, close to all plausible exit routes. If members of the group were hiding out in other areas where they would be missed—though highly unlikely given Sephiroth's incredible sense of awareness—the Thirds would be able to intercept their escape. In the highly unlikely event that any members managed to get passed the SOLDIERs, the army was positioned around the perimeter.

As they made their way into the center, the two Firsts carefully searched out all areas they passed through. The unease Zack had felt gradually diminished as they went further and found the reactor devoid of human activity. Upon reaching the core, they found no one, not even a single indication that anyone had been there, and Zack almost sighed in relief.

When they were almost ready to declare the reactor clear, he noticed Sephiroth hesitate. The man suddenly seemed on edge about something, which usually meant something was indeed wrong. Zack's own worry came back full swing, but he did his best to keep it at bay, not wanting to add to Sephiroth's tension. No had been around, and Zack placed his hand on Sephiroth's arm in a comforting gesture; he had done so to calm both of them really.

He knew no one had breached the outer lines, otherwise they would have been notified. Whatever had the silver haired man tensed was close by. He could feel the muscles under his palm tightening and could see the apprehension radiating off of the man. Something was not right.

Slowly, the stronger First approached the core's valve as if something had caught his eye, and Zack stayed back a bit, knowing he was not needed at the moment. He didn't have the slightest idea of what the man saw, all he knew was that in an instant Sephiroth was moving, and his own body jolted.

Everything from that moment on was a blur of light and noise and pain; his vision went white, his ears rang, and he could feel heat lick at his skin. The air was knocked from his lungs when he hit what he assumed was the ground and a large weight landed on his front. His mind instantly went to Sephiroth, and he tried to yell for him, but his voice failed him. His sight became a swirl of monochrome color, and all he could think about was the other SOLDIER and the sudden need to move, to run, before everything smashed together in a panic. Zack wasn't even aware of the choked, overwhelmed scream that tore from his lips just as everything faded to black.

o0o

Zack wasn't sure how much time had passed before he regained consciousness. His eyes slowly opened, but his vision was clouded; his ears were still ringing, and his mind was still a jumbled mess. He'd forgotten where he was for just a moment before he remembered the mission, remembered AVALANCHE, the reactor, Sephiroth.

Seph!

The fog over his mind dissipated at the thought of the man, and he instantly tried to get up, overcome with the need to find him, to make sure he was alright. His body, however, felt as if he'd gone round after round with a Dual Horn… and the Dual Horn won. Not to mention that something was settled on top of him, and while it had clearly shielded him from direct impact, it was heavy. Still a bit dazed, Zack adjusted his arms under the object and pushed it off of him. He felt and heard whatever it was fall to his side—did it just make a noise?

He sat up quickly and his head swam for a moment, threatening to send him back down onto the ground. His hand went to his head to steady himself, and his eyes drifted to the form next to him. All he could see was a blur of black, but as his vision cleared, the colors became a single solid object… a body. His heart began to pound and he made a noise of distress as he looked over the familiar black leather, and he very nearly retched when his gaze settled on a bloody face.

"Oh, Gods," came a choked whisper.

Zack scrambled to his hands and knees, ignoring the way his head throbbed and his sight blurred, and struggled closer to the older man. He looked over the body below him in increasing dread and felt bile rise in his throat as he took in the damage. Nothing was unscathed; his coat was all but shredded, revealing large bloody wounds, the leather singed and charred.

An explosion.

That explained the abruptness of it all, the loud jarring noise, the heat, the light… the sheer damage Sephiroth had sustained. Shrapnel was embedded deeply into his skin, and there wasn't hardly any patch of visible skin that wasn't covered in blood or dust and debris. He looked into the SOLIDERs face where blood flowed in small rivers from his nose and from a cut in his lip; it flowed down the side of his face from a large gash in his jaw, and stained his silver hair from an unseen wound on his head.

With shaking hands, Zack cupped the man's face, running gloved thumbs gently over his closed eyes. His heart fell when the man didn't stir, and he let a hand stray to silver hair; it was covered in dirt and debris, and Zack couldn't help but laugh in a cruel mix of humor and barely restrained panic.

"You're sure not gonna be happy when you wake up, Seph," he said, voice shaking. "Your hair's all dirty…"

He continued to assess the damage, all the while stroking the man's hair. Eyes strayed over to the man's right side, and he had to fight back an urge to vomit, unable to turn away from the horrible sight; the man's arm was mangled in every sense of the word, the coat sleeve all but gone, revealing flesh that was cut, torn, bleeding, and burnt. He almost thought he could see bone poking out from the skin, and he finally turned away to retch. When he turned back, tears fell down his face, smearing the dirt there, and he returned to stroking the man's hair, hoping to the Gods that he was completely out and couldn't feel anything.

"Fuck, Seph, you're pretty beat up, huh?"

He pressed fingers to the side of the man's neck, searching for a pulse; it was weak, but it was there nonetheless, and relief washed over him. The youth took a shuddering breath and kissed the corner of Sephiroth's lips, cringing at the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. It made him want to vomit again, but he ignored the turning of his stomach and kept his eyes on his lover.

He watched the slow, unsteady rise and fall of the man's chest and prayed that someone would be down there soon to get them; anyone could tell that the man had lost a fair amount of blood, and his wounds needed attention. He was dying, and it scared Zack to no end to think of watching the man he loved die in a pit of rubble. Sephiroth would not want to die that way, and the younger First most certainly did not want to lose him that way, nor any other way for that matter.

Zack lost track of how long they'd been there, but he knew it had been too long. Sephiroth's breathing had become shallow, his skin—or what he could see of it—had grown deathly pale. He had repeatedly checked for the silver haired man's pulse, fearing each time that he wouldn't be able to find it, but Sephiroth had managed to hang on.

"Just don't die on me, Seph, okay," he'd keep muttering.

o0o

When SOLDIER operatives managed to get into what was left of the reactor's core, they found Zack still hunched over Sephiroth's prone form, stroking his hair and shaking. He ignored them, even when he heard a voice call for him, but he flinched when he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder.

He turned abruptly, coming face to face with a SOLDIER that he could not identify. His brain was reeling, his ears still rang, and he was losing the man that he loved. He felt his body shift as the SOLDIER shook him gently, and a familiar voice met his damaged ears.

"Zack? You alright? C'mon, man, talk to me!" It was Kunsel.

"K… Kunsel…"

The SOLDIER nodded. "Yeah, it's me," he said. "C'mon, we need to get you two out of here."

He felt Kunsel move his arm across his shoulders, and he was lifted to his feet. He watched in slight fear as he was moved away from Sephiroth, and the medical team swarmed around him. They checked his vitals and set about removing shrapnel and wrapping his wounds, but Zack couldn't help but think of how uneasy Sephiroth would be if he were conscious. The man hated it when others touched him, but to have several strangers around him touching him all at once would be a nightmare for him, even if they were only trying to save him.

As his friend led him away, Zack wanted so badly to protest; he put up the briefest struggle, but stopped himself, knowing that it would do neither him nor Sephiroth any good. The youth stopped walking when a stretcher was finally brought down, and he watched the team move the older First onto it before carefully and quickly lifting him. Kunsel tugged on him and let the Second continue to lead him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the med team pass them and couldn't shake the desire to follow them, but he quashed it knowing it would do little good when he was injured himself.

Just don't die on me…

Sephiroth was long gone when Zack, Kunsel, and several other operatives emerged from the destroyed reactor. He was taken in a transport with several of the other SOLDIERs and infantrymen that had accompanied him on the mission. They were to be taken back to Shinra to be seen by its medical personnel; he just hoped Sephiroth would be there too and not in the labs…

o0o

Zack was admittedly surprised at how few injuries he'd sustained in the incident. The impact of Sephiroth's body being thrown onto his so roughly had bruised a couple of his ribs, he had a minor fracture in his wrist, and while he had acquired a splitting headache, he surprisingly didn't have a concussion.

It turned out that AVLANCHE had in fact been in the reactor; what Sephiroth most likely caught sight of in the core was an explosive the terrorist group had set up. He'd shielded Zack with his body from the brunt of the impact, but Zack had still been injured enough that Shinra had placed him a temporary leave of absence. It agitated him that he would not be able to go on any missions for a while, but that feeling disappeared when he thought back to the older First; he really didn't think he could go on any more assignments while worrying about the man.

Sephiroth bore the brunt of the explosion in the effort to protect Zack, and in doing so had gravely injured himself. He found out from Kunsel that the silver haired First had not been taken to the labs, which while relieving, was also confusing. Zack knew well that nearly every aspect of Sephiroth's well being was under Hojo's jurisdiction; his development, his treatments, even his overall health was overseen by Hojo and the Science Department due to the sheer amount of enhancements done to his body. While it bothered the brunette to no end to think of the man waking up in the labs, it seemed like the place he'd likely be taken to.

Kunsel, of course, was there to elaborate on the situation—the man always seeming to know nearly anything, even if he likely shouldn't.

While SOLDIERs were physically enhanced, they still required medical attention. Mako treatments were conducted by the science department, but health matters were left to Shinra's medical team, doctors trained specifically to deal with mako enhanced individuals. Hojo, heading the science department, likely had no interest dealing with such frivolous things as sickness and injuries; Zack could almost hear the man scoff at the very prospect.

Sephiroth, however, was a different story entirely. Hojo wanted no one else to so much as touch his most prized experiment, so all matters dealing with Sephiroth's health were brought to him, and only him. This didn't explain, however, why the silver haired man was being treated by the medical team and not being 'treated' in the labs.

Of course, being impusive as he was, Zack voiced this concern almost instantly, to which Kunsel, already familiar with Zack's… tendencies ignored him and continued on.

While it was not terribly uncommon for Sephiroth—as with any other SOLDIER operative—to return from a mission with injuries, they were always minor and at worst required little medical attention. Hojo was quite confident in the man's abilities, so there was really no concern that the man would ever return badly injured. As it was, the explosion had left Sephiroth nearly torn to pieces, and because there was no protocol for who would specifically manage him in such a situation, he was brought in to be seen by Shinra's doctors along with the other SOLDIERs and infantrymen that were injured in the incident.

Zack couldn't help but find humor in how angry that would make the gangly scientist, but due to a lack of protocol, he supposed there was nothing he could do in retaliation… not immediately, anyways. The information also brought him relief; it meant that Sephiroth would be genuinely taken care of; it meant that Zack would be able to see him at some point, he wouldn't be left alone.

"Do you know anything about how he's doing," Zack asked his friend.

Kunsel only shook his head. "I figured you'd ask so I asked about him… didn't find anything out."

Of course Zack visibly wilted at that.

They sat in a relatively comfortable silence, Zack just happy that someone was there for a while; however, eventually Kunsel was called in for an assignment and had to leave, leaving Zack alone with his thoughts and worries.

While his injuries were not so serious, the doctors wanted him to stay overnight because of his head. As much as he didn't want to be stuck in that room, Zack complied with little complaint; however, he asked about Sephiroth every chance he got. He didn't get much out of anyone, except that the doctors were doing their best to treat him. He must have gotten on the nerves of several doctors before one finally informed him that the SOLDIER was likely going to have to go into surgery. When Zack asked why, he got no further answers and he was left to worry all the more.

o0o

Zack was "allowed" to leave the following day; and by "leave" it was more like kicked out. When he was discharged, he had refused to go anywhere until he knew more about Sephiroth's condition. When no one told him anything, he stayed where he was.

"I'm not leaving 'till I know he's okay," he'd said, and he meant it.

After a while though, one of the doctors—the one he guessed was treating the silver haired man—approached him. They must have gotten tired of him sitting around in there taking up space.

The man told Zack everything; he didn't go into detail, but told him of Sephiroth's wounds, of the burns he sustained… of his arm. He said that as they were speaking, Sephiroth was being sent into surgery where they were going to try and save his arm. While he didn't like to sound of the word "try," the optimistic side of him assured that Sephiroth would be fine. The older man always talked of how his body had been designed to handle a lot of damage, so perhaps with help from the doctors, his arm would heal up.

With their end of the deal met, Zack was finally made to leave to medical unit, and he returned to his apartment, where he continued to stress and worry. He was worried that Sephiroth may still not make it or that his injuries would leave him irreversibly damaged. Mainly, though, he worried that Hojo would manage to get his hands on the man and hide him away in the labs to do as he pleased with his weakened body. The labs was the one place Zack couldn't save Sephiroth from, though it was the one place he wished he could, but old man Shinra had given Hojo free rein over the Science Department. Whatever was within the labs belonged to him, and that included SOLDIERs are any of Shinra's infantry.

He still tried to remain optimistic and told himself that Sephiroth would be alright. He'd seen the man through some pretty bad times, and he'd always come out intact. This time, he told himself, would be no different.

o0o

Several days later found Zack much too restless, and he ventured back to Shinra's Med unit. He wanted to find out if Sephiroth's surgery had gone well and how much longer it would be before he could leave. The medical unit didn't give off the same air as the labs, but to his lover it would likely feel no different, and he would want to leave as soon as possible and recuperate in the privacy of his own apartment… hopefully with Zack there too, of course.

When he asked about him, the doctors seemed reluctant to say much of anything; however, when he asked if he could see him, he was led with no argument to a room.

"I will warn you, Mr. Fair," the doctor from last time told him. "He still has not regained consciousness, and his injuries are… extensive."

He didn't really care if Sephiroth was awake or not. He'd wait as long as he had to, just so long as he could be there for him. When he was allowed into the room, he was at the silver haired man's side in an instant, looking him over. Even without the dirt on his skin, he still didn't look much better.

What he could see of the older man's body was wrapped in guaze, visible skin littered with scars from small cuts that had easily healed. He looked up into the man's face and was relieved to see not a single crease in his brow. Zack reached out and brushed fingers through his bangs and was glad to see that the blood and debris had been cleaned from his hair, but he inwardly pitied the poor soul that had been stuck with the task. He let his hand stray to the left side of his face where a large bandage lay over the large cut he knew to be there. He hoped that it wouldn't leave a permanent scar; Sephiroth would likely be self conscious of such a mark marring his face where he couldn't easily hide it.

He slowly moved to the man's right side—mainly so he could have a clear view of the door—and took in the rest of his wounds. The brunt of the explosion had hit this side, and predictably, his right side was covered in healing burns and various other wounds. The more serious burns had been bandaged, and he followed a trail of less severe ones from his shoulder, up passed his neck and jaw, and up further to just below his ear. He grimaced at that, another injury that Sephiroth would not be able to easily hide… especially if scars remained.

Zack continued to look him over, occasionally glancing up to see the doctor still there, probably in case he had any questions. He paused to watch the steady rise and fall of Sephiroth's chest, and by chance his eyes strayed to the man's right arm, which he knew had been pretty badly injured.

His heart suddenly wrenched in his chest and he choked.

Oh no. Oh, Gods, no.

It was gone!

Instantly, he looked up to see the doctor approach—he must have seen Zack's reaction—and stared at him with wide eyes, tears running anew from his face. The man looked away and sighed.

"The damage to his arm was extensive," he began. "Most of it was severely burned to the point that even if it healed it would likely never be usable. Then there was the extensive damage to the bone, the nerves, and the muscle."

Zack listened silently, but his eyes had strayed back down to Sephiroth's calm face. Gods, when he woke up…

"We had intended to first examine the limb to see any possible routes we could take to save it… but there was just too much damage," the doctor continued. "It would have required a massive amount of reconstructive surgery, and even then there would have been no guarantees that it would be useable without causing him pain."

He took a shuddering breath and nodded, still focused on Sephiroth's face.

"How long until he can leave?" he asked.

"We still need to keep an eye on the burns, several of the more serious ones are still vulnerable to infection, and we'd like to avoid that if we can," he answered. "After that, he can go whenever he wakes up, if he hasn't already."

Zack nodded. There wasn't much else he could do with Sephiroth unconscious, but he knew that if the man woke up before the doctors were ready to let him go, things would become a bit more difficult. He'd seen his lover with wounds, many of them inflicted on him for the sake of Hojo's "science." A missing limb was a different problem entirely. Zack had no idea how Sephiroth would react when he finally woke and found one of his limbs gone. He was fairly sure, however, that whatever concern he'd have, it would not be about his appearance. The man was trained—practically bred—to be a warrior; he had been made, as he would have put it, to fight. He would be much more concerned with how the injury would affect his ability to see to his duties as a SOLDIER. If he were rendered unable to fight… Zack didn't want to think about it.

He finally glanced up to see that the doctor had left. His body practically dropped into the chair next to the bed and he slumped, thoughts rushing through his head, making him feel nearly dizzy with the shock of it all. His head all but dropped into his hands, and he took another shuddering breath, just sitting there waiting. He didn't know exactly what he was waiting for, for Sephiroth to wake up, for a doctor to come in and give the okay to take the man home, for that same doctor to come in and tell him to leave, he didn't know. But he waited nonetheless.

o0o

Zack made it abundantly clear that he had no intentions of leaving that room unless it was to finally take Sephiroth home. He gladly moved aside whenever doctors needed to examine the silver haired First, but other than that, he didn't go anywhere. He would not run the risk of his lover opening his eyes and being alone, so he remained at the man's side, stroking silver bangs, and waited for the older man to wake up.

o0o

It wasn't until a few more days that Sephiroth finally stirred, and Zack was right there waiting to see if those cyan eyes would finally open again.

"Seph…?"

The man's brow furrowed and he grimaced slightly in what was likely pain.

"Seph, can you hear me? Where does it hurt?"

The older First shifted just slightly, but the creases in his brown seemed to ease at the sound of Zack's voice. The brunette let his fingers linger on Sephiroth's cheek, careful not to touch the burned skin, and he waited to see if the man would wake, or if he had settled back into unconsciousness. After several tense seconds, pale lips parted.

"Zack…?" His voice was hoarse and quiet, but to Zack it was the best damn thing he'd ever heard.

"Yeah, Seph," he said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. "It's me."

His head slowly turned towards the voice, and those eyes slowly opened, snapping closed again when they met the bright light. They reopened just a bit after a moment, glazed over and unfocused.

"Where…"

"The Med unit. You got pretty messed up, babe."

Sephiroth blinked languidly a few times, probably trying to clear his vision, when he suddenly grimaced again and let out a low groan. Zack's brow furrowed with concern.

"What's hurting you, Seph?"

The silver haired man shifted a few more times, and to Zack, it looked as if he were trying to move his arm… his right arm.

"My arm…"

Zack hesitated. "W-which one?"

Sephiroth shifted his right shoulder and Zack stomach twisted in both dread and slight confusion.

"Seph… do you remember what happened?"

He nodded. "The reactor. There was an explosive device set on the valve. I attempted to shield you from the explosion, and my right side was most open to the impact."

Well his memory was certainly intact, and despite to roughness of his voice, his speech was clear. What Zack didn't understand was why Sephiroth was complaining of pain in an arm that wasn't even there. He watched as his lover managed to focus on him, and tried to give him a comforting smile, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Are you alright, Zack?"

Typical. The shitty state he's in and the man is more worried about someone else's well being than his own. The brunette couldn't help the slight upward tug of his lips and he leaned down to kiss the older man. His heart swelled when he felt Sephiroth slowly kiss him back, but pulled back in concern when the man made an oddly distressed noise.

"Sephy?" Worry filled his voice.

"I can't feel it…"

"Feel what?"

"My arm. Though I realize it is injured, I cannot… feel it…"

"I thought you said it hurt."

"Yes, but," Sephiroth paused, seemingly at a slight loss of how to describe whatever it was he was experiencing.

"'But?'" Zack tried to get him to continue, just as he always did whenever Sephiroth seemed to have trouble communicating something.

"I am… moving it," he tried to reason. "However, I am unable to feel it moving."

Zack just became all the more confused, and the dread came back tenfold. Sephiroth hadn't realized it yet. Somehow, he thought he could feel his arm moving and didn't understand why he couldn't feel the actual motion, when in reality there was no arm there to move.

"I don't understand," he whispered to himself, but Sephiroth was certainly able to hear him.

"Zack?"

The youth swallowed a lump in his throat before trying to talk. "Seph, your arm… it's…"

His voice cracked and he found himself unable to finish. He looked to the man's face and found an expression of concern and confusion. The brunette swallowed another lump and, unable to say anything further, just motioned down to where the man's arm… would be, making a noise of distress.

Sephiroth looked down.

Zack looked away instantly, unable to bear seeing the man's face when he saw just how damaged he really was. He felt his heart begin to pound in fear and uncertainty. What would he say? What would he do?

"It's… gone." Sephiroth's voice was soft, almost as if he couldn't quite believe it.

"…Yeah," Zack responded, having no idea what else he could possibly say. "It is."

He stole a tentative glance at the silver haired man. His expression was unreadable, and that worried Zack more than if he'd looked distressed or even angry. The youth never liked it when he could not tell how Sephiroth was feeling; it made it so difficult to be there for him, to understand how he felt and be of help. It didn't happen often anymore, Sephiroth having grown more willing to open up and convey feelings he once kept so deeply hidden, but when it did, Zack always felt lost and hurt that he could do little to help him.

Sephiroth continued to stare at his side in complete silence. As minutes passed, Zack grew more and more desperate for something, anything to say to break that silence, to get the man's attention off of the loss, if only for a moment. Eventually, he gave up and opted for what he always did, reaching out carefully and stroking the silver bangs from his face. Nearly instantly, he noticed some of the tension leave his body and the youth could not hold back a soft smile. And then it came to him.

"Well… look on the bright side," he said tentatively. "At least you'll still be able to use Masamune."

His smile only widened when he heard the man snort.