Darker Days
A SasuSaku Post-Series Fanfiction
"Good night, Ino, Yuna." said Sakura, waving. Her fellow medics returned the wave with bright smiles. Sakura slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the hospital, her day's work completed. She shivered when she stepped outside. The air was crisp and icy. It was definitely going to snow that night.
She walked down the sidewalk, pulling on gloves and tugging her hood around her face.
She noticed a dark-haired figure standing near the center of the west bridge, their back turned to her. When she got closer she could tell that it was Sasuke. She watched him for a moment. For a while he just stared at the calm water under the bridge, until he sighed and raised his eyes to the deepening gray sky above him.
"Hmm." said Sakura. She made her way to the bridge, watching her step, as the wood had slightly iced over.
Sasuke didn't notice her until she was just a few feet away. He looked back at her passively before returning his gaze to the water.
"Sakura. I really just want to be alone right now." he said, rubbing his arm absentmindedly.
"Are you sure?" she asked. He looked at her again, and she smiled. "Do you really want to be alone?"
His dark eyes scanned her, and he shook his head.
She stood beside him, gloved hands on the rail of the bridge. They stood in silence for a long moment.
"So are you going to tell me what's on your mind?"
He hesitated.
"Something is bothering you." she said, studying his face. "What are you thinking about?
A shadow passed over his face. He didn't look at her.
"Darker days." he said.
"Sasuke,—"
"Sakura, I have accepted who I am. I have expressed my sorrow and repentance for what I have done. The lives that I have hurt have moved on, or at least, have tried to move on. But…I can't help but remember…it all."
"It is unreasonable to expect that someone will forget all the things that you have been through." she said immediately. "A broken past, like a nightmare, is not soon forgotten. It can only be pushed aside. Put behind, rather. Sasuke, you will never completely forget it all. It is part of you. Think about it, you wouldn't be who you are right now if you hadn't done what you did. Don't try to forget, because if you fail, you will only bring yourself more sorrow. Instead, look towards the future and hope for the best. Your heart is a muscle. It doesn't break or shatter, it only gets weaker. You have to work to make it stronger."
He looked at her then, something sparkling in his eyes. "…And what about you?"
She raised an eyebrow at the question.
"What is your part in all of this?"
"I don't understand…?"
He turned to her and put his long arms around her waist, pulling her close. "I've kept my distance from you…because I wasn't sure if you…if you were still angry with me—"
She laughed a little to cover her blush. "I'm sorry if it seemed as if I was ignoring you. I wasn't. I just figured you would need time. And to be perfectly honest, I needed the time to gather my own thoughts as well."
"You forgive me?" he asked, with a sincerely penitent expression. Sakura looked up at him, smiled, and shook her head.
"Sasuke, I forgave you a long time ago." She put her gloved hand on his cheek, and her voice became a whisper, "I never lost my faith in you. There was never a moment when I believed that you wouldn't come back home. In my mind, you never truly left the village…"
Sasuke leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. Sakura wondered what he was thinking about. But in truth, he wasn't really thinking about anything. He was relishing in the warmth that seeped into him from their touching skin, and how it contrasted with the chill air around them.
"Sakura…thank you…" he whispered. He opened his eyes, looking straight into her green ones, and added, "…for everything."
She smiled. "You're welcome." The end of her response was nearly cut off by a kiss. Sasuke would kiss her, stop and pull away, and then kiss her again, and the rhythm made the butterflies in her stomach flutter. They were gentle kisses, but every bit what she had been waiting for a very, very long time.
Hours could have passed and neither of them would have noticed. When they finally pulled apart, Sasuke couldn't keep his eyes off of Sakura. He longed to be closer to her, and the ache that had been built up within him for three years was beginning to overflow.
Sakura wiggled out of his arms and held his hands instead. "Well, I'd better go…it's cold out. I don't want to get sick."
"I wish I was as strong as you." he said, turning her hands between his fingers.
"You're such a mystery to me." she replied, smiling. "I'm afraid that I'll never fully understand you." She laughed at that.
"You will." he said, letting go of her hands. He turned to the bridge's rail and leaned against it. "See you later, Sakura."
Sakura folded her hands and watched him, before approaching him again.
"How about this. You come to my house, and we'll have some tea, and I can work on understanding you better." She had to be joking about the understanding part; it seemed to Sasuke that she knew everything about him.
"Okay." he said, and he followed her down the path back into the heart of the village.
The snow had begun to fall, covering Konoha in a soft blanket of white.
Sasuke took off his gloves and scarf and sat down at a bar stool in the kitchen. He watched Sakura as she went about making tea. Despite himself, he felt awkward and shy being in her house. He didn't know what he should say, if he should say anything at all.
Sakura glanced at him. "Are you hungry?"
"A little…well actually, I haven't eaten anything today."
"Oh, Sasuke. That can be very detrimental to your health. You need to eat."
"I know. I just haven't been very hungry I guess."
She opened the fridge and took out a pot, placing it on the stove to heat its contents. She then proceeded to retrieve two cups from the cabinet. As she opened tea bags and sat them in the cups, she hummed Sakura Sakura to herself. This made Sasuke smile, for whatever reason.
"Sakura…" he said after a moment. The tired tone of his voice made her turn immediately.
"Yes? Are you okay? You're not feeling faint, are you?" She went to him and put the back of her hand to his forehead. "No doubt from not eating—"
"Shh." he said, raising himself to kiss her unsuspecting lips. This kiss was much different than the one outside; deeper, hungrier. His lips left hers and went down her chin, unto her neck. Her skin was soft and warm and made him dizzy.
The tea kettle screamed behind her.
"The tea…kettle…water—I need to get it..." Sakura breathed, her face flushed. Sasuke stopped and let go of her arms so she could tend to the kettle.
"Well, f**k. Who needs hot soup when you're in the kitchen." she added, laughing. She poured boiling water into the cups.
Sasuke cleared his throat, feeling awkward again. "…Where are your parents?"
"Friday's their date night. They probably won't be back 'til around midnight."
"Ah."
Sakura carried the cups over to the bar and sat one of them in front of Sasuke.
He took a careful sip. "Mmm. Thanks."
She returned to the stove to stir the soup. She yawned.
"Long day at work?" Sasuke asked, wanting desperately to end the silence between them.
She laughed again, a sound that warmed his heart. "It's always a long day the Konohagakure hospital."
He got up and joined her at the stove, putting his hands on her sides. He rested his head on her shoulder. Her reaction seemed a little tense at first, but it melted away.
"I'm sorry if I'm pushing you." he said, his voice low. "I just—"
"Hush, Sasuke. I know."
Silence, but this time, it felt right. It was just the sounds of their breathing and the edge of a wooden spoon tracing figure eights against the bottom of a pot. Sasuke gingerly kissed the skin behind Sakura's ear, brushing the finer pink hairs at the base of her neck. Her hair had a slightly flowery scent, something that he hadn't noticed before.
"Soup's ready." Sakura announced.
Sasuke groaned softly. "Let's skip the soup."
"Don't make me force feed you." she said, laughing. Ignoring his touches, she got a bowl and poured hot tomato soup into it. "Eat first."
He sucked in a breath, but obeyed. He took the bowl and returned to his seat at the bar. Sakura handed him a piece of bread, which he took. She leaned her elbows on the countertop and watched him, amused. He ate hungrily, and she was glad.
He looked up, noticing for the first time that she was watching him, and his cheeks went faintly pink. "What?"
"You're beautiful." she said.
Sasuke dropped his eyes to his lap, fighting a smile. The shy gesture, so uncharacteristic of him, only made Sakura more amused.
"Are you finished?" she asked. He nodded, but before she could take the empty bowl, he stood up and took it to the sink himself. He reached for the sponge, but Sakura grabbed his hand. She took the bowl and set it in the sink.
"All things considered, I think the dishes can wait." she said. Sasuke followed her into her bedroom. He didn't let his thoughts wander too far. It was a good sized room, with a sliding door that led to a balcony that overlooked western Konoha. The carpet was soft and a blush pink color. Her bed was an odd round shape, with a wooden headboard carved with cherry blossom trees.
Sakura gestured at the bed. "You can rest while I take a quick shower. Make yourself comfortable, okay?"
"Okay." he said. She disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him standing in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do. He heard the water turn on and tried not to think of Sakura showering.
He walked over to the full-sized mirror near the desk, where Sakura had photos taped all around the edges. Most of them were of her and Ino in a photobooth. Sasuke smiled at their ridiculous faces. There were others of her parents and other pink-haired family members, Naruto, co-workers at the hospital, and in the top right corner…one of him. It was obviously a photo taken of him before he returned to the village.
Sasuke thought of the pain that came to Sakura whenever she looked at that picture, especially amidst all the others.
He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't look at all different. He tore his eyes away, and he found a large photo of Sakura on the desk.
He studied that photograph for a long time.
"My parents had some pictures taken after I was promoted to Jounin." said Sakura, standing in front of the bathroom door. She was wearing shorts and loose t-shirt emblazoned with the Haruno family crest. "That's my dad's favorite shot."
Sasuke stared at the photo, smiling. "You look beautiful. It's a very good picture." He looked up at her. "…What is it now? Stop making fun of me."
She laughed. "I'm not. It's just…" She walked over to him. More flowery scents followed her. "…it's been a long time since I've seen you smile."
He sat the picture back down on the desk, his eyes still on it. "I haven't had a reason to." Sakura frowned at the back of his head. She padded over to the bed.
"Sasuke-kun…come here."
He shuddered at the hushed way she added the suffix to his name. He went over and sat on the bed in front of her. She took his hands.
"Talk to me." she said. "Tell me everything you've ever wanted to say."
He was at a loss. "I don't…I don't know where to start…"
She smiled at him encouragingly. "How about the beginning?"
He thought for a moment before speaking. Sakura waited patiently.
"When we were children, I was aware of your feelings for me." he began, his voice low. "I thought you were pretty, but at that point I just couldn't see myself married, or even in a relationship at all. There was too much on my shoulders. So I put on that whole stupid-ass mysterious demeanor thing, hoping that it would deter you from falling completely in love with me."
"Silly, really. That only made me more interested." said Sakura.
"Hey, I was a child. What did I know about women at ten years old? Anyway…when I started to fall in love with you, then I got really worried. I knew I had to leave as soon as possible before I hurt us even more that I already would." His sad eyes met Sakura's surprised ones.
"You mean…you loved me…too?"
"Yes. Every moment we spent together…which was many since we were part of the same squad…I found myself drawn to you. You were simple where I was complicated, you were bright while I was dark, you were happy while I was sad."
Sakura was silent.
"After I left Konoha and my thoughts focused on what I had to do to avenge my clan, it became easier and easier for me to suppress my feelings. I gave in to my hatred. When you appeared with Naruto outside of Orichimaru's lair…that was the first time I had thought of you seriously in over two years. I was caught off guard, if you remember…but…my hatred pulsed in my heart and in my mind. I got this idea that if I killed you, my feelings for you would go die as well…"
Tears streamed down his cheeks now. "And then…Itachi…he died, and I was completely lost. My purpose was broken. I was broken. So overcome by anger and grief, I decided to destroy my village, so as to cut all my ties with everything and everyone who ever brought me pain—" He was cut off by a sob, and he was forced to stop talking. Sakura rubbed his hands with her thumbs as he sobbed.
"It's okay to cry. Sasuke." she said. He looked up at her miserably.
"Look at my eyes, Sakura. Can't you tell that they have cried enough?"
She could. His eyes had always been shielded from her, denying her access, but now she could see deep into the darkness of them; years of anger, sorrow, and confusion.
"Sakura…" he whispered, "Did you cry?"
She wouldn't lie to him. "Every night after you left."
"I feel like I could tell you that I'm sorry a million times, and I still wouldn't feel like it made a difference." he sobbed. "Sakura…oh God, Sakura, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. Everything I did to you, and everybody else—I am so selfish. I'm crazy. I'm an idiot."
"I told you. I already forgave you. And you're not an idiot."
"But—"
"Sasuke, everyone has forgiven you. It's time now that you forgive yourself. Let it all go."
He sobbed.
"Let it go." whispered Sakura, leaning forward to kiss him. His tears were bitter and salty in her mouth. She kissed him so hard that he had to pull away to breathe. But he returned the kiss, ardent and needing. Slipping her hands into his open-faced shirt, she eased him back into her pillows without breaking the kiss. The shaky little moans that escaped his lips whenever they parted made her insides ache. His skin had finally flushed noticeably.
The combination of Sakura's sweet scent and the pressure of her warm body against his made Sasuke's head spin—he could feel another headache coming on, although he hoped that it wouldn't.
He ignored his head and stroked Sakura's belly under her shirt as she planted soft kisses along his jaw.
"I missed you." she whispered, lips moving against his skin. "I love you, Sasuke."
He smiled at her, warmly, sincerely, and she felt as if her heart would explode.
"I love you and missed you, too." he whispered back. His deep voice sent shivers down her spine. "Sakura, I love you more than anything. I can't live without you." Sakura kissed him again, and her kiss travelled down his body.
And during those moments, he let go of the darkness that had cursed his life. He felt a calm peace in his heart, and it rendered him mindless as he wrapped his arms around her body and took control, pleasured by the way her skin shivered against his touch. And, finally, the two were what they had always longed to be—
—Together.
"Sasuke." she breathed. "I…I've wanted this…for such a long time….."
He kissed her skin. "Me too."
It seemed that the darker days had passed at last.