Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of the characters mentioned in this fanfic that were created by Akira Toriyama. But i do own copy rights over the lil hamburger^_^ Because I created it!!! MWHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! ENJOY!
BEWARE: if you feel that you have problems handling strange, demented, bazaar, out-of-the-ordinary, wacko, just-plain-crazy, makes-no-sense-type-things don't read this fanfic. LOL O_o
.::The lil Hamburger::.
CHAPTER ONE---- (Don't Eat Me!)
Vegeta had been sitting on the couch for over three hours just waiting for Bulma to return home from the store.
"Where is that woman?!" screamed Vegeta, Trunks over-heard his father yell as he walked in through the side door. He ran into the living room to see why he was yelling.
"What's wrong dad?"
"I'm hungry! And that blasted woman hasn't returned from the market yet!"
Trunks stared at his father pullzed.
"YOUR MOTHER?!" screamed vegeta
"oh..." commented Trunks.-" Whatever!" Trunks left his father with those words as he ran up the stair-case and made his way into his room.
"Where could she be? I WANT MY POT-ROAST!!" cried Vegeta.
"Why don't you just order take-out or something?" Questioned Bra, as she walked in through the front door.
"Because....I'm... Well that is..... What I mean to say is.... But I just... I mean I....-OK!" Vegeta picked up the phone and dialed the number that was on the refrigerator.
"Hello?" answered the person on the other line.
"Yes hi, I want to place an order for one Happy Meal Please, extra ketchup on the burger!!" Said Vegeta.
"Extra Ketchup? Burger? WHAT?!!? You have the wrong number!" yelled the man in confusion.
"I don't care! I want my food! Now... where was I? Oh yes I want one of those pretty barbie toys too!" Vegeta exclaimed.
"What?" said the man.
"Huh?" Mumbled Vegeta.
"Wha?" said the man.
"Who?" asked Vegeta.
"how?" asked the man.
"when?" questioned Vegeta.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!" yelled the man.
"what's your name?" aksed Vegeta.
"My name?" asked the man.
"YES! YOUR NAME!" yelled Vegeta.
"It's...- Hey wait a minute my mother told me never to give my name to men with strange pointy hair." Commented the man.
"How old are you sir? And how do you know I have strange pointy black hair?"
"I'm 41, and I see all!" told the man.
"O--K?" said Vegeta.
"I never said that!" complained the man.
"Said what?" asked Vegeta.
"That your hair was black!" Yelled the man.
"And I care... WHY?" screamed Vegeta.
"Because my pants are too tight!" Yelled the man.
"That's nice..." Said Vegeta as he slowly hung up the phone.
"OK, Now to dial the 'correct' number!" Yelled Vegeta as he dialed the 'correct' number. (((A/N~ heheheheehehe)))
"Hello?" answered the woman.
"Hey! I want a Happy Meal with a barbie toy, and a pepsi cause I think young even though I'm a coot with cooties." Said Vegeta.
"Ok." said the woman puzzled. -" Will that be all?"
"No I need a new pair of undies too!" yelled Vegeta happily.
"sir, we only sell food." answered the woman.
"Undies are eatable!" Answered Vegeta.
"OK, that'll be $11.89"-"what's your address?" asked the woman.
"My mother told me not to give away my address to people who smell funny." Said Vegeta.
suddenly Yamcha appears from the sky and comes hurtling down toward the ground of Vegeta's floor.
"Your Mommy's dead!!!" screamed Yamcha.
"And so are you! DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Vegeta as he sends Yamcha into the next dimension.
"Now where were we?" asked Vegeta to the woman, as he picked up the phone.
"Sir first of all how can you smell through the phone, and second of all I NEED your address if you WANT food." said the woman.
"What about Monks?" asked Vegeta.
"What about monks???" questioned the woman.
"YOU STUPIY!!!" yelled Vegeta.
"OK, sir give me your address or I'm hanging up!" Yelled the woman.
"YOUR A PAIR OF BLUE PANTS!!!" screamed Vegeta as he hung up the phone. -"The nerve of that Monkey calling me a Roach!" yelled Vegeta.
"Dad she didn't call you a roach. I was listening on the other line." Stated Bra.
"GO LICK YOURSELF!!" yelled Vegeta as he locked his daughter in a boombox.
Suddenly Vegeta hears A knocking on his door.
"Who could it be???" Asked Vegeta to himself.
"I'm not going to answer it so that I can spend the rest of my life wondering who was at the door on the night of May 11th at 12:13 am." commented Vegeta.
"ANSWER THE FREAKIN DOOR FATHER!!!!!" yelled Trunks from his bedroom.
"Poo Poo on you!" Said Vegeta. waving his butt at trunks's door.
"WHAT'S THAT SMELL???" yelled Trunks.
"nothing...." said Vegeta innocetly.
"ALRIGHT I'M A COMING!" yelled Vegeta as he ran to the fishtank.
"No body's there!" Yelled Vegeta,
"Yo man! Come around to the front door!" Says a funky sounding voice.
"Why would anybody be knocking from a sick, deranged place like my front door???"-"Oh well!" Said Vegeta as he answered the door only to find a small hambuger waiting on the steps.
"Hello Fred." greeted Vegeta.
"WHOA! First of all their is some'in reaky on your head! And second of all my name ain't no Fred." said the lil hamburger. (with extra ketchup)
"That's my hair...." Said Vegeta.
"I'm sorry." Said the lil hamburger.
"That's ok I do it too!" Said Vegeta.
"Do what?" asked the lil hamburger.
"Pick my nose DUH!"-"what were we just talking about?" asked Vegeta.
"You scare me, you know dat?" asked the lil hamburger.
"Can I sniff you?" asked Vegeta.
"No." Said the lil hamburger.
"Your a Hamburger!" cried Vegeta.
"Mr. Vegeta. I already knew that." said the lil hambuger.
"May I eat you now?" asked Vegeta.
"Why in Kami's name would you want to eat a talking walking hamburger?" asked the lil hamburger.
"Because... Helmets are cool!" said Vegeta.
"That's nice..." said the the lil hamburger.
suddenly android 17 appears out of no-where.-
"boo boo beap doop!" cried 17 in a mad, terrorfied rage of agony.
"Zello." Says Vegeta,
"Zello?" asked 17.
"YOU are not a helmet." said Vegeta,
"I know.." Said 17.
"But I'm so cute!!!! Kiss me darling!" cried 17.
"No, that's ok." said Vegeta.
"Fine, be that way! I'm going home to mother!" yelled 17.
"uuuhhh... I'm married." Said Vegeta.
"Don't remind me!" cried 17.
"I gave you the best years of my life and this is how you shoe me in my butt??? well I won't stand for it!!!!" Cried 17.
"Now I'm used to scaring myself, but this is just too weird." Said Vegeta.
"No you are wrong for the first time!!" Cried 17.
"I've been wrong before..." mummbled Vegeta.
"So has my grandmother!!!" said 17.
"really?" asked Vegeta.
"Yeah..." mummbled 17, embarressed.
"oh...." said Vegeta.
*cough*-*cough*-*cough* coughed 17.
"so what were we argueing about?" questioned Vegeta.
"grilled cheese I think." said 17.
"Ok! Y'all are scar'in me right'bout now!" blurted the lil hamburger.
"Well I'm scared of my underwear." commented 17.-"that's why I never where any!"
"Really?" questioned Vegeta.
"yeah!" yelled 17 happily.
"Neither do I!" said Vegeta.
"Well that's comforting to know." commented the lil hamburger.
"We know!!" yelled Vegeta and 17 happily.- suddenly Vegeta heard a knocking on his front door.
"HEY! Maybe it's Bulma!" cried Vegeta as he raced to the door.
"Hey Vegeta." greeted Goku as Vegeta's front door swung open.
"Goku?? what are you doing here??" screamed Vegeta.
"Well I was just hungry and I heard that you had talking hamburger! So I came by to check it out!" Explained Goku.
"How did you.... What did you... When did you.... WHAT ARE YOU!?" screamed Vegeta.
"I'm a.. Hey! Wait a minute! You called me Goku!" cried Goku in pleasureful mocking.
"N-..No I didn't!!!" covered Vegeta panticly.
"YES! Yes you did!!!" laughed Goku.
"Shut Up! I said Smelly arms pits, not Goku!" cover Vegeta.
"No you said Goku!" laughed Goku even harder.
"YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU CALLED ME GOKU! YOU CALLED ME GOKU AND NOT KAKAROT!!!! HA- HA - HA -HA -HA!" mocked Goku as he danced around the room, and went summer-saulting down the hall-way chanting those words over and over again.
"STOP IT!!! I SAID KAKAROT!!!" cried Vegeta with all his might falling down on to his knees, ripping the hair from his head.
"Undies.." laughed 17.
"Thank you." said Vegeta, picking himself up off his knees and hugging 17.
"Olive Juice is taistless." stated 17.
"Duh." Yelled Vegeta happily.
Vegeta suddenly stared at the lil hamburger- "Why are you here?!" Vegeta screamed.
"I dunno man, but I'm bout'to leave right'bout now... yea.. so.. uuhhh.. bye!!" The lil hamburger said as he struggled to hop away but realised he'd been stopped by Goku who was now holding him in his hand.
"Do you taiste good?" Asked Goku stupidly.
"I like to think so man.. why?" The lil hamburger asked.
"May I taste you?" Goku asked smiling.
"Please don't." said the lil hamburger.
"Awwww.....Why not?" Goku asked disapointed.
"Because he wants me to taste him first!!!" Cried Vegeta snatched the lil hamburger from Goku.
"HEY!" Goku blurted in anger.
"Hey is for horses! GO eat some!" Vegeta cried as he licked the lil hamburger.
"DUDE! I think I'm suppose to tell an adult when you do that.." said the lil hamburger.
"Why whatever do you mean? I'm an adult!!" Vegeta cried in joy.
"That's the scary part.." The lil hamburger said blankly.
"tell me!!" Vegeta cried.
"You don't count though..." Said the lil hamburger in disgust.
"Why not?" Asked Vegeta.
"Because you'the one who licked me man!" said the lil hamburger.
"I don't have underwear on!!" Cried Vegeta in joy.
"I think I recall you telling me that already." Said the lil hamburger with a fearful look on his face.
"Who are you???" Cried 17, snatched the lil hamburger from Vegeta's grasp.
"I'm the lil hamburger, I was reincarnated!" Explained the lil hamburger.
"You were what????" Vegeta, Goku and 17 all asked at the same time.
"Reincarnated! It means he was in another form and body in a previous life.." Explained Gohan as he walked in through the open front door.
"Where did you come from?" asked 17.
"I'm sorry but I couldn't help but over hear your conversation! I was just taking my morning jog and ran by hear and noticed a talking hamburger so I decided to--" - "SHUT UP with the details dorkoff!!! YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T SNEAK UP ON MONKEYS LIKE THAT YOU KNOW! We have feelings too....." Said Vegeta begining to sniffle.
"What do you mean 'monkeys'???" Questioned Gohan.
"YOU HEARD ME!!!!! MOKEYS!!!!!" Cried Vegeta, as he ran over to Goku and Hugged him.
"HEY!" screamed Goku as he jumped into Vegeta's arms.
"What?" Asked Vegeta.
"I didn't know you cared..." Flirted Goku, winking at Vegeta.
"Y'all are sick!" screamed the lil hamburger- "It's bout'time for me to break!" he said as he jumped out of 17's grasp.
"I don't care.....!!!!!!" Vegeta cried as he dropped Goku on the floor.
"Some one stop that hamburger, and you!" Vegeta pointed to Goku- "Dance with me JoJo!!" Vegeta yelled as he grabbed Goku and began to do the tango with him. *music appears from backround somewhere*
"Don't Call me JoJo!!!!!" Goku complained as he and face Vegeta danced, the sides of their faces touching.
TO BE CONTINUED....... Will the lil hamburger be eaten? And who was he before he was reincarnated?? Is the lil hamburger even a HE? And where in the world is Bulma? Find out in the next exciting episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!!!
I know... I know... that was weird... without a doubt the most strange fanfic I have ever written and ever will write. (I hope LOL) Don't bash okay? I'm only aiming to make you guys laugh! ^_~ ENJOY the next chapter!!
BEWARE: if you feel that you have problems handling strange, demented, bazaar, out-of-the-ordinary, wacko, just-plain-crazy, makes-no-sense-type-things don't read this fanfic. LOL O_o
.::The lil Hamburger::.
CHAPTER ONE---- (Don't Eat Me!)
Vegeta had been sitting on the couch for over three hours just waiting for Bulma to return home from the store.
"Where is that woman?!" screamed Vegeta, Trunks over-heard his father yell as he walked in through the side door. He ran into the living room to see why he was yelling.
"What's wrong dad?"
"I'm hungry! And that blasted woman hasn't returned from the market yet!"
Trunks stared at his father pullzed.
"YOUR MOTHER?!" screamed vegeta
"oh..." commented Trunks.-" Whatever!" Trunks left his father with those words as he ran up the stair-case and made his way into his room.
"Where could she be? I WANT MY POT-ROAST!!" cried Vegeta.
"Why don't you just order take-out or something?" Questioned Bra, as she walked in through the front door.
"Because....I'm... Well that is..... What I mean to say is.... But I just... I mean I....-OK!" Vegeta picked up the phone and dialed the number that was on the refrigerator.
"Hello?" answered the person on the other line.
"Yes hi, I want to place an order for one Happy Meal Please, extra ketchup on the burger!!" Said Vegeta.
"Extra Ketchup? Burger? WHAT?!!? You have the wrong number!" yelled the man in confusion.
"I don't care! I want my food! Now... where was I? Oh yes I want one of those pretty barbie toys too!" Vegeta exclaimed.
"What?" said the man.
"Huh?" Mumbled Vegeta.
"Wha?" said the man.
"Who?" asked Vegeta.
"how?" asked the man.
"when?" questioned Vegeta.
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!" yelled the man.
"what's your name?" aksed Vegeta.
"My name?" asked the man.
"YES! YOUR NAME!" yelled Vegeta.
"It's...- Hey wait a minute my mother told me never to give my name to men with strange pointy hair." Commented the man.
"How old are you sir? And how do you know I have strange pointy black hair?"
"I'm 41, and I see all!" told the man.
"O--K?" said Vegeta.
"I never said that!" complained the man.
"Said what?" asked Vegeta.
"That your hair was black!" Yelled the man.
"And I care... WHY?" screamed Vegeta.
"Because my pants are too tight!" Yelled the man.
"That's nice..." Said Vegeta as he slowly hung up the phone.
"OK, Now to dial the 'correct' number!" Yelled Vegeta as he dialed the 'correct' number. (((A/N~ heheheheehehe)))
"Hello?" answered the woman.
"Hey! I want a Happy Meal with a barbie toy, and a pepsi cause I think young even though I'm a coot with cooties." Said Vegeta.
"Ok." said the woman puzzled. -" Will that be all?"
"No I need a new pair of undies too!" yelled Vegeta happily.
"sir, we only sell food." answered the woman.
"Undies are eatable!" Answered Vegeta.
"OK, that'll be $11.89"-"what's your address?" asked the woman.
"My mother told me not to give away my address to people who smell funny." Said Vegeta.
suddenly Yamcha appears from the sky and comes hurtling down toward the ground of Vegeta's floor.
"Your Mommy's dead!!!" screamed Yamcha.
"And so are you! DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Vegeta as he sends Yamcha into the next dimension.
"Now where were we?" asked Vegeta to the woman, as he picked up the phone.
"Sir first of all how can you smell through the phone, and second of all I NEED your address if you WANT food." said the woman.
"What about Monks?" asked Vegeta.
"What about monks???" questioned the woman.
"YOU STUPIY!!!" yelled Vegeta.
"OK, sir give me your address or I'm hanging up!" Yelled the woman.
"YOUR A PAIR OF BLUE PANTS!!!" screamed Vegeta as he hung up the phone. -"The nerve of that Monkey calling me a Roach!" yelled Vegeta.
"Dad she didn't call you a roach. I was listening on the other line." Stated Bra.
"GO LICK YOURSELF!!" yelled Vegeta as he locked his daughter in a boombox.
Suddenly Vegeta hears A knocking on his door.
"Who could it be???" Asked Vegeta to himself.
"I'm not going to answer it so that I can spend the rest of my life wondering who was at the door on the night of May 11th at 12:13 am." commented Vegeta.
"ANSWER THE FREAKIN DOOR FATHER!!!!!" yelled Trunks from his bedroom.
"Poo Poo on you!" Said Vegeta. waving his butt at trunks's door.
"WHAT'S THAT SMELL???" yelled Trunks.
"nothing...." said Vegeta innocetly.
"ALRIGHT I'M A COMING!" yelled Vegeta as he ran to the fishtank.
"No body's there!" Yelled Vegeta,
"Yo man! Come around to the front door!" Says a funky sounding voice.
"Why would anybody be knocking from a sick, deranged place like my front door???"-"Oh well!" Said Vegeta as he answered the door only to find a small hambuger waiting on the steps.
"Hello Fred." greeted Vegeta.
"WHOA! First of all their is some'in reaky on your head! And second of all my name ain't no Fred." said the lil hamburger. (with extra ketchup)
"That's my hair...." Said Vegeta.
"I'm sorry." Said the lil hamburger.
"That's ok I do it too!" Said Vegeta.
"Do what?" asked the lil hamburger.
"Pick my nose DUH!"-"what were we just talking about?" asked Vegeta.
"You scare me, you know dat?" asked the lil hamburger.
"Can I sniff you?" asked Vegeta.
"No." Said the lil hamburger.
"Your a Hamburger!" cried Vegeta.
"Mr. Vegeta. I already knew that." said the lil hambuger.
"May I eat you now?" asked Vegeta.
"Why in Kami's name would you want to eat a talking walking hamburger?" asked the lil hamburger.
"Because... Helmets are cool!" said Vegeta.
"That's nice..." said the the lil hamburger.
suddenly android 17 appears out of no-where.-
"boo boo beap doop!" cried 17 in a mad, terrorfied rage of agony.
"Zello." Says Vegeta,
"Zello?" asked 17.
"YOU are not a helmet." said Vegeta,
"I know.." Said 17.
"But I'm so cute!!!! Kiss me darling!" cried 17.
"No, that's ok." said Vegeta.
"Fine, be that way! I'm going home to mother!" yelled 17.
"uuuhhh... I'm married." Said Vegeta.
"Don't remind me!" cried 17.
"I gave you the best years of my life and this is how you shoe me in my butt??? well I won't stand for it!!!!" Cried 17.
"Now I'm used to scaring myself, but this is just too weird." Said Vegeta.
"No you are wrong for the first time!!" Cried 17.
"I've been wrong before..." mummbled Vegeta.
"So has my grandmother!!!" said 17.
"really?" asked Vegeta.
"Yeah..." mummbled 17, embarressed.
"oh...." said Vegeta.
*cough*-*cough*-*cough* coughed 17.
"so what were we argueing about?" questioned Vegeta.
"grilled cheese I think." said 17.
"Ok! Y'all are scar'in me right'bout now!" blurted the lil hamburger.
"Well I'm scared of my underwear." commented 17.-"that's why I never where any!"
"Really?" questioned Vegeta.
"yeah!" yelled 17 happily.
"Neither do I!" said Vegeta.
"Well that's comforting to know." commented the lil hamburger.
"We know!!" yelled Vegeta and 17 happily.- suddenly Vegeta heard a knocking on his front door.
"HEY! Maybe it's Bulma!" cried Vegeta as he raced to the door.
"Hey Vegeta." greeted Goku as Vegeta's front door swung open.
"Goku?? what are you doing here??" screamed Vegeta.
"Well I was just hungry and I heard that you had talking hamburger! So I came by to check it out!" Explained Goku.
"How did you.... What did you... When did you.... WHAT ARE YOU!?" screamed Vegeta.
"I'm a.. Hey! Wait a minute! You called me Goku!" cried Goku in pleasureful mocking.
"N-..No I didn't!!!" covered Vegeta panticly.
"YES! Yes you did!!!" laughed Goku.
"Shut Up! I said Smelly arms pits, not Goku!" cover Vegeta.
"No you said Goku!" laughed Goku even harder.
"YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU SAID GOKU! YOU CALLED ME GOKU! YOU CALLED ME GOKU AND NOT KAKAROT!!!! HA- HA - HA -HA -HA!" mocked Goku as he danced around the room, and went summer-saulting down the hall-way chanting those words over and over again.
"STOP IT!!! I SAID KAKAROT!!!" cried Vegeta with all his might falling down on to his knees, ripping the hair from his head.
"Undies.." laughed 17.
"Thank you." said Vegeta, picking himself up off his knees and hugging 17.
"Olive Juice is taistless." stated 17.
"Duh." Yelled Vegeta happily.
Vegeta suddenly stared at the lil hamburger- "Why are you here?!" Vegeta screamed.
"I dunno man, but I'm bout'to leave right'bout now... yea.. so.. uuhhh.. bye!!" The lil hamburger said as he struggled to hop away but realised he'd been stopped by Goku who was now holding him in his hand.
"Do you taiste good?" Asked Goku stupidly.
"I like to think so man.. why?" The lil hamburger asked.
"May I taste you?" Goku asked smiling.
"Please don't." said the lil hamburger.
"Awwww.....Why not?" Goku asked disapointed.
"Because he wants me to taste him first!!!" Cried Vegeta snatched the lil hamburger from Goku.
"HEY!" Goku blurted in anger.
"Hey is for horses! GO eat some!" Vegeta cried as he licked the lil hamburger.
"DUDE! I think I'm suppose to tell an adult when you do that.." said the lil hamburger.
"Why whatever do you mean? I'm an adult!!" Vegeta cried in joy.
"That's the scary part.." The lil hamburger said blankly.
"tell me!!" Vegeta cried.
"You don't count though..." Said the lil hamburger in disgust.
"Why not?" Asked Vegeta.
"Because you'the one who licked me man!" said the lil hamburger.
"I don't have underwear on!!" Cried Vegeta in joy.
"I think I recall you telling me that already." Said the lil hamburger with a fearful look on his face.
"Who are you???" Cried 17, snatched the lil hamburger from Vegeta's grasp.
"I'm the lil hamburger, I was reincarnated!" Explained the lil hamburger.
"You were what????" Vegeta, Goku and 17 all asked at the same time.
"Reincarnated! It means he was in another form and body in a previous life.." Explained Gohan as he walked in through the open front door.
"Where did you come from?" asked 17.
"I'm sorry but I couldn't help but over hear your conversation! I was just taking my morning jog and ran by hear and noticed a talking hamburger so I decided to--" - "SHUT UP with the details dorkoff!!! YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T SNEAK UP ON MONKEYS LIKE THAT YOU KNOW! We have feelings too....." Said Vegeta begining to sniffle.
"What do you mean 'monkeys'???" Questioned Gohan.
"YOU HEARD ME!!!!! MOKEYS!!!!!" Cried Vegeta, as he ran over to Goku and Hugged him.
"HEY!" screamed Goku as he jumped into Vegeta's arms.
"What?" Asked Vegeta.
"I didn't know you cared..." Flirted Goku, winking at Vegeta.
"Y'all are sick!" screamed the lil hamburger- "It's bout'time for me to break!" he said as he jumped out of 17's grasp.
"I don't care.....!!!!!!" Vegeta cried as he dropped Goku on the floor.
"Some one stop that hamburger, and you!" Vegeta pointed to Goku- "Dance with me JoJo!!" Vegeta yelled as he grabbed Goku and began to do the tango with him. *music appears from backround somewhere*
"Don't Call me JoJo!!!!!" Goku complained as he and face Vegeta danced, the sides of their faces touching.
TO BE CONTINUED....... Will the lil hamburger be eaten? And who was he before he was reincarnated?? Is the lil hamburger even a HE? And where in the world is Bulma? Find out in the next exciting episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!!!
I know... I know... that was weird... without a doubt the most strange fanfic I have ever written and ever will write. (I hope LOL) Don't bash okay? I'm only aiming to make you guys laugh! ^_~ ENJOY the next chapter!!