Author's Notes

This is a collection of the random ideas for snapshot stories and "lost scenes" that have been floating around in my brain. The chapters won't be in any kind of consecutive order on their own, but I'll indicate which season and episode each scene is supposed to happen in.

The Plot Simulacrum

Continuity: Season 3, sometime between "The Maternal Congruence" and "The Psychic Vortex."

"I've just found my new favorite movie."

Leonard rolled his eyes. He and the others were just coming back from the premiere of Avatar and were climbing the staircase to the apartment. Penny agreed to come along, but he was pretty sure she had been freaked out by the diehard fanatics who had come in costume, blue body-paint, pointy prosthetic ears, and all; she'd been pretty quiet on the ride back. "You say that about every movie we go watch, Howard."

"I never meant it before. I do now," Howard said resolutely. "Avatar is my absolute favorite movie of all time."

"Uh-huh. And what happened to Star Trek?"

"That's completely diff—"

"The Dark Knight?"

"Well, I mean—"

Raj whispered something to Leonard.

"Yeah, and what about Iron Man?"

Sheldon interrupted. "For once, I agree with Howard. James Cameron has set the bar in the filmmaking industry. I don't really see the point in anyone else trying. Outside of established franchises, it's by far more visually impressive and stimulating than anything I've ever seen before."

They had reached the apartment door, and Leonard fished his keys from out of his coat pocket and let them all inside. As they settled into comfortable positions around the living room, Sheldon continued to rattle off the reasons why Avatar surpassed all other movies while Howard nodded his head in approval.

"—and of course it was all nicely tied together with an engaging plot—"

"Oh, that's it!"

Leonard, Sheldon, Raj, and Howard turned to look at Penny, from whom the exclamation had come, startling them all. It was the first thing she had said since the credits rolled.

"Something's been bugging me the whole time we were watching that movie, and I just realized what it was: I've seen that storyline before."

Howard shook his head. "No way."

"Impossible," Sheldon denied.

"It's true!"

"A claim like the one you have the audacity to make needs irrefutable proof."

"Fine," said Penny, getting up from the couch. "I'll show you. Tomorrow night, I'll bring you all the proof you want." And she walked out of the apartment and went across the hall.

"But tomorrow night is laundry night."

)(

"She's late."

"It's 8:32, Sheldon."

"And we agreed she would arrive at 8:30."

Leonard sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

"I say she made the whole thing up," Howard said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I believe her," shrugged Raj. "Why would Penny lie?"

"To be a proverbial thorn in my side," Sheldon answered matter-of-factly.

"Like I don't have better things to do."

Penny was standing in the open doorframe, a plastic Blockbuster bag swinging from her arm.

"You're late," said Sheldon by way of greeting.

Penny rolled her eyes, shut the door, and made for the DVD player. Cracking open one of two DVD cases she pulled out of the bag, she popped in a disc and left everything else on the coffee table before going to lounge on the couch next to Leonard.

Howard snatched up the abandoned DVD cases at the same time a castle and written scrawl materialized on the otherwise blue television screen to the accompaniment of a short strain of music. "Disney?" his voice rang out incredulously.

"Yes."

"You honestly are coming in here with—" Howard lifted up what he held in his hands for the others to see. "—Pocahontas and Atlantis: The Lost Empire to compare them with Avatar?"

Sheldon gave Penny a look from his spot on the couch like one would have while indulging a petulant child. "This is absurd!"

"Have any of you ever watched these movies before?" Penny asked evenly.

Raj mutely shook his head.

Leonard thought he had, years and years ago, but before he had a chance to say so, Sheldon bristled, "I am a lauded theoretical physicist. I possess a master's degree, two PhDs, and have an IQ of 187. Of course I haven't."

"Uh, no," Howard answered succinctly, as if it was silly of her to even ask.

"Well then shut up, watch, and talk to me in three hours."

)(

It was approximately two minutes into the credits of the second film before anyone spoke. Even in the dim light, Leonard could tell that Penny was smirking smugly, as she had been since the middle of the first movie.

"I don't—how—what the frak?" Howard spluttered.

"I think that's Howard's way of saying you were right, Penny," Leonard said dryly.

Howard turned away from the screen to face them, still looking very much like someone had just proven to him the moon was, in fact, made of cheese. "I can't believe the greatest movie of all time is nothing more than a rip off of," he cringed as if the word on his tongue was bitter, "Disney. How has no one realized this?"

"Uh," said Penny, pointing to herself, "I did."

"Avatar is a derivative work!" suddenly erupted from Sheldon. "Cameron has the gall to call that hokum innovative?"

"I told you," Penny answered in a sing-song voice, revealing just how much she was enjoying this moment and the fact that she was right.

By that point, Sheldon was really becoming incensed. "He's no better than an experimental physicist!"

"Hey!" Leonard protested.

Sheldon ignored him. "That vapid idiot made me incorrect. Opposing Penny. James Cameron, you've just secured yourself a place on my all-time enemy list. A relegation is in order for Billy Sparks."

With that, he stalked off to the back of the apartment.

"What are you doing?" Leonard called after him.

"Composing a strongly-worded letter of disappointment and censure to James Cameron!"

End Author's Notes

Walt Disney is greater than James Cameron.