A/N: Okay, honestly I've never done one of these before so if you read it, I really need to know if you like it or not. I need opinions so I know if I'm good at writing these.
Okay, so here is my first official songfic!! ENJOY:D
Shadow of the Day
(Song by Linkin Park)
Here I was, again, in this blue room. I lost count how many times I was in here today; I just knew it was a lot. I stared out the window, looking out at the snow... it was snowing; I was supposed to be happy right now.
I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
I had to get out of here, not just this room, but out of everything. I didn't want to face this anymore... I had to go see him, even though I knew I would cry, but I just had to.
Then I could get away, away from it all, looking at that engraved writing. Crying always seems to make me feel better when I'm thinking of him.
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Deep down I knew, that this time, it still wouldn't work… eventually I would have to leave, and then come back to the same room. I walked downstairs, Luke was laying on the couch curled up, he gave up trying to talk to me, I thank him for that, these past 3 months have been really hard on both of us.
"Goodbye…" I whispered, so quietly I could barely here it
Sometimes good bye's the only way
I got in my car hesitantly, would Luke worry? Would he even know I left? I honestly didn't know, things were just so screwed up lately… I didn't want to think of it.
I took the oh so familiar route to the oh so familiar place, the same route I've been taking almost every day for about three months.
I knew I wasn't supposed to be here, I know it was after hours... but nothing could keep me away… I had to be here, here and now.
I walked up to the stone... the snowy grass crunching under my boots. The tears started to fall, as they always did, but something about this time was different. Then I saw something unfamiliar.
And
the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
"Lorelai?"
"Who's there?"
Then he stepped out of the shadows, his dark baggy eyes looking at me, he hadn't slept for weeks. This was the man I love.
"Luke? What are you doing here? I saw you on the couch—"He shook his head.
"That wasn't me, it was Rory, she showed up earlier, and I didn't know if you were sleeping."
I nodded. Before I knew it, he was there holding me…. I suddenly felt safe, safer than I've felt in a long time.
And
the shadow of the day And
the sun will set for you
Will embrace the world in grey
"It was my fault," he said, trying to hide his tears. I shook my head against his chest; no I couldn't let him believe that.
"No Luke, it was mine, if I hadn't—"I burst into a deeper sadness and was unable to finish my sentence.
After a moment, we turned around and looked at the tombstone.
Blake William Danes
September 3, 2008—September 4, 2008
"My little Miracle"
Next to his tombstone were Luke's parents' graves.
"He'll be okay." Luke assured as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
I only nodded unable to speak.
I looked up at the bright stars; they seemed especially bright this evening.
They reminded me of the cards I was given—one had a little moon and star on it, and inside it told me to stay, to stay here in Stars Hollow, because after this event, I was seriously considering leaving.
In
cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to
stay
But, I knew I couldn't do that, this was my home.
The beginning was so hard, it really was. Then I had this thought, we could only go up from here right, how could things possibly get any worse? I had to believe that things would get better; it was the only thing that kept me going.
Sometimes
beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way
I opened my eyes, I was in my room, staring at my sleeping Luke… that dream hit me again; I remember that day, the day I almost lost hope.
Things were different now, the doctors are still amazed.
"Hey." Luke smiled that dreamy smile, the one I loved so much.
I gave him a long kiss, when we broke apart, I sat up. There it was my strength, and also my weakness giving me reassurance, that he was safe, a kick.
Luke smiled up at me, and put his hand on my protruding stomach.
And
the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
To be honest, I worry everyday that this little guy isn't going to make it… that I'm going to suffer that pain, again.
Then I think of Blake, he's taught me so much, he was my miracle baby. I had to believe that the little guy inside me was going to be fine, as much as it hurt, I had to say goodbye to Blake, even though he would always be in my heart.
And
the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
It was time to stop living in the past; I had to think about the future now, not just for my sake, but for Luke's and the new baby's.
I loved this little guy already, and nothing would let him go. Not this time.
And
the sun will set for you And the shadow of the day And the sun will set for you
Will
embrace the world in grey
"I love you Luke." I told him.
"I love you too." Luke replied, with that same grin.
Things were going to be different this time, and we both knew it.
And
the shadow of the day And
the sun will set for you
Will embrace the world in grey