"Hotch, why won't you let me go in on this guy? You know that I fit the unsub's victimology to a T and we can catch this bastard if you'd just let me-" Emily had stood there arguing with her boss for a good ten minutes- well more like the last few days, ever since they got this case. She stood in front of his desk in disbelief. Every victim so far had been a brunette, over five and a half feet tall, and brown eyed with fair skin. They had the perfect opportunity and bait to nail this guy, and the only thing standing in the way of that was Aaron Hotchner. And for the life of her, she couldn't understand why he wouldn't let her do this.
"No, Prentiss, you're not in charge here and I will not keep having this conversation with you." Hotch didn't even look up from the file, which only served to irritate Emily even more. She put a hand to her temple and took a few breaths in an attempt to calm herself before asking, "Will you at least just tell me why?"
"You're not ready for it, end of story. Now please excuse me, I have a brief meeting scheduled with Strauss." He walked right passed her, still refusing to meet her eye.
Prentiss bit back a catty response and stormed out of his office after him. She tried not to take it personal; tried to come up with some excuse for him, but when it came down to it, it was all her fault. She was the one that hid Doyle from them; that was away from the team for seven months.
She hated making them go through that pain, especially since the team had already lost Elle and Gideon, and not too long ago JJ as well. It was like the BAU team was becoming a revolving door of people that were constantly coming and staying long enough to become part of their family before they inevitably left, taking part of the team with them.
She had hurt them and betrayed their trust, yes, and she still felt terrible about it. On the other hand, at the same time she couldn't help but wonder how long she would have to spend making it up to them. It was a few months later and she couldn't help but still feel like the odd man out.
Hotch had been distant, which wasn't unusual for him, but he was the one that made the decision and he still acted like she needed to earn her place on the team again. She was a damn good profiler, and a damn good agent to boot. She was pretty sure he knew that too, but he still continued to brush her aside at every opportunity. It infuriated her that he wouldn't even give her the chance to redeem herself.
Two days later they were able to catch the unsub, but Emily still wasn't on good terms with her unit chief. She found herself at home, alone, curled up in an arm chair with her favorite Vonnegut novel and Sergio curled on top of her, purring contentedly.
She was three chapters in when her cell phone rang. She groaned in frustration and said aloud to herself, "Not another case." It was too soon for another case. Then again, there were so many evil people out there that she knew it wasn't unlikely that there'd be another so soon. Since it was usually someone on the team calling her, she hoped it was a wrong number.
"Sorry Serg," she said as she lifted Sergio and set him down on the floor before walking over to the table top where she had dropped her cell phone and keys.
"Prentiss," she answered without bothering to look at the caller i.d.
"Em-ly?" She heard Jack's small voice come through the phone.
"Jack, honey, what's wrong, why are you calling?" Emily asked, with a million alarms and thoughts beginning to whirl around in her mind, mainly hoping that the boy and his father were okay.
"You need to come over here! It's a 'mergency!" The boy spoke very quietly but with urgency in his tone.
Not knowing what was wrong, she tried to pacify the boy on the other end of the line. "Jack, I'll be there as soon as I can, okay? I love you, baby," she said, as she grabbed her car keys and ran out the door.
"I love you too, Em-ly," he paused before abruptly announcing he had to get off the phone as she started the car. "Jack? Jack? Stay on the phone!" She took her phone from her ear and glanced down, seeing that he had already hung up. "Dammit!" She yelled in frustration as she threw the phone onto the passenger seat, and pressing down just a little harder on the gas pedal.
Not knowing what she was getting into, Emily parked on the street and quietly made her way up to Hotch's door and slipped in with the key he had given her not long after Hailey's death.
"Emily, what are you doing here?" Hotch said, startling her only moments after she stepped in.
"Where is he? Is he okay?" Emily's eyes raked the room and every inch she could see outside of it. She didn't bring her eyes back to him until Hotch gripped each of her arms lightly enough to get her attention.
"Prentiss, calm down. Where's who? What are you talking about?" Hotch's voice soothed her enough to where she was able to form a coherent sentence through her worry.
"Jack! He- he called me… He said I needed to come over because there was an emergency," she answered him in confusion.
"I'm sorry he did that Prentiss, but everything's fine. He's just been under the weather," he replied, dropping his hands, with a look of utter confusion crossing his face. "You can go home. I'm sorry he called you over here like that. I'll talk to him."
"Hotch," she spat his name out, "I don't care what's going on between us, because Jack called me for a reason and I am not going to abandon that little boy when I love him so much."
"Emmy?" she heard the same quiet voice that had spoken out through the telephone not even half an hour ago. He walked over to them slowly, keeping his arms folded over his stomach. Emily noticed that his much too rosy face was dampened with beads of sweat.
"Jack, did you call Emily?" The boy's father asked in a stern, low voice as he made his way over.
"I missed her, daddy. And I knew she'd make me feel better. I'm sorry," he said, looking down ashamedly before wiping his runny nose on the sleeve of his top.
Hotch bent down so he was eye level with Jack and said, "It's fine, buddy. Just don't do it again, okay? Let me know, first. Emily was really worried about you and she thought we might be in danger because you told her it was an emergency."
"Yes daddy," he said before looking up at Emily. "I'm sorry, Emmy," he said while clutching his stomach.
"It's okay sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong," she cajoled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and she ran a hand through his hair. "Your daddy says you're not feeling well."
"I need you to make me feel better, Emmy. My tummy hurts and my head and my arms and my legs, and everywhere hurts," he whimpered. "The yucky medicine daddy gave me isn't helping." She let her hand down to touch his rosy forehead and cheeks.
"Oh honey, come on," she said lifting him in her arms with ease before turning back to Hotch. "Can you grab my go-bag out of the car?" She handed him her keys, then, "Can you also get another pair of pajamas and underwear for Jack?" He nodded his head, in awe of this woman who took it upon herself to act like his son was her own as well. After finding out they weren't in any danger, he half expected her to walk back out as quickly as she had come in.
When Hotch came back in with Emily's go-bag in hand, he followed the sound of running water to his bathroom. What he saw made him stop in his tracks and his heart swell.
"It's cold, Emmy!" Jack cried out, burying his face in the crook of Emily's shoulder where she stood in the shower with him.
"I know baby, but it will help bring your fever down and make you feel better. Just another minute, okay?" She kissed the top of his head as he buried it in the crook of her shoulder. She rubbed his back and sang to him as they stood there in the cold water. When Emily looked over she saw Hotch standing in the doorway. A slight flush came to her cheeks as she bent down and adjusted Jack so she could reach the knob to turn the water off.
Emily took the towels Hotch offered her and set them to the side. She helped Jack take his pajamas off then took one of the towels and began to dry him off with it before helping him into his fresh clothes.
"Hey buddy, how about we let Emily dry off?" He said, reaching out to grab his son.
"Will she come and tuck me in?" He asked turning back to look at Emily.
"Of course. Let your daddy help you get ready for bed and I'll be there in a minute." Hotch took Jack out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him to give Emily privacy. Emily looked in her go-bag and sighed. The only two outfits she had left were a suit and pajamas. Reaching for the latter, she put on the cotton polka-dotted pajama shorts and an old Yale t-shirt.
She towel-dried her hair as best as she could, before finally letting the now slightly curled hair hang loose at her shoulders and making her way to Jack's room.
Hotch sat at the edge of the bed, with Jack under the blankets. Upon over-hearing part of their conversation, Emily turned and stood just outside of the door.
"Is Emmy going to be my new mommy?" Jack asked his father. She couldn't see his face, but she saw the way his shoulders tensed. It seemed they both couldn't believe what had just come out of the young boy's mouth.
"You have a mommy, Jack," his father said slowly, unsure of how to respond.
"I know, Daddy, but she's in heaven. I know she's my angel mommy and is watching me, but she can't be here and help me when I'm sick or read me bedtime stories. Brian said his mommy went to heaven, but now he has another mommy. He misses his real mommy and still loves her, but he loves his new mommy too. He said his mommy would be happy that he has another one to take care of him. Just like I love mommy but I love Emmy too in kind of the same way. Are you going to marry her, daddy?"
Emily's jaw dropped open, but before Hotch could answer she made her way into the room.
"Hey, Captain Jack, are you feeling better?" She smiled at the boy whose eyes lit up when she walked into the room.
"Yeah, a little. I'm really sleepy but I waited for you to tuck me in." She sat down on the opposite side of Hotch, with her back close to the headboard.
"I'm glad you're feeling better and I get to say good night to you," she smiled. She took the back of her hand and placed it on his forehead, then on each cheek, noticing that his face felt much cooler than earlier.
The three of them sat there for a minute in silence, until not even three minutes later Jack's eyelids fell and Emily carefully unwrapped her arm from around him so as to not disturb him and brought the covers up to his chin. She stroked his hair a few times before standing up and walking out. Hotch followed, turning out the light and shutting the door.
"I'm sorry," Hotch said as the door clicked shut behind him.
"For what?" Emily asked in bewilderment. What did he have to be sorry for?
"I'm sorry that he made you come over. Sorry that I can't even take care of my sick kid to the point he needs to call you to come over," Hotch looked away ashamedly.
"Hotch," she paused. "Aaron, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I honestly didn't mind coming over, except for the fact I had a million worse scenarios playing out in my head. And as for you not being able to take care of Jack, well that's just… silly. You've been a father to him and a mother since Hailey died, but you can't replace her. No one can. I think that tonight, he just needed a woman's touch. You mean the world to him, and he looks up to you tremendously, and you know that. He just needed what is probably the only thing in the world you couldn't provide for him. In no way does that make you a bad father, do you understand?" Emily finished. She couldn't believe that he could doubt himself. Everyone knew that Aaron Hotchner was married to his job, but his son came before even that. If he could, Aaron would move the sun and the stars for Jack, and everyone that knew him knew that about him.
Hotch noticed Emily shiver before he said anything in response to her little speech. "Sorry, let me get you something warmer." Before she could say anything else he was off. Remembering the clothes in the bathroom, she went back to gather them and throw them in the wash.
"Don't worry about it," Hotch said as Emily was putting the sopping clothes in his washing machine.
"But-" She started before he interrupted and handed her a pair of sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt. For the first time that night she took in his appearance. He had on a pair of faded jeans and a forest green sweater. The circles under his eyes told her that he hadn't been getting much sleep lately, if any at all.
"I'll get it," he broke her thoughts. "You can uh-wear these if you're still cold," he said awkwardly. It wasn't every day there was a woman in his house, standing before him in her pajamas that did nothing to provide her warmth. Then again, the last time a woman was in his house in anything remotely close to this situation was Hailey. With Emily here, he was on foreign territory and unsure of what he was doing.
She bit her lip and nodded before walking back into the bathroom. She put them on over her shorts and Yale shirt, pausing to take in their scent before she realized what she was doing.
"I'm in Hotch's house, my section chief's house, in my pajamas, and wearing his sweats, after helping to take care of his child who is now asleep and oblivious to the fact that his father doesn't reciprocate my feelings. 'Are you going to marry her, daddy?" She could hear the boy's voice echoing in her head.
If the thought didn't thrill her and scare her so much at the same time, she probably would have laughed it off. She had known far before her fake death that she had slowly but surely fallen in love with the man that rarely smiled. But the thoughts of marriage and even a relationship were just that- they were fictitious thoughts; fantasies that filled her mind with a barrage of 'what-ifs'.
"God, please grant me the strength to not do something completely and entirely stupid," she thought silently before opening the door and following the smell of green tea to the kitchen.
He handed her a mug of the drink and sat down at the table with his own. "I know you liked this before you uh- left; hope you still do."
"Yes, thank you," she said, honestly a little touched that he had noticed something so small. Really? I'm touched that he remembered I liked green tea? That's it, no more Lifetime or romantic comedies for me.
She drank some and let the warm liquid slide down her throat before breaking the silence.
"Can we talk? About us- I mean about this last case?" She searched his face for any sign of him suddenly snapping on her or refusing to answer. Seeing nothing to sway her, Emily continued much calmer than she had been in previous conversations with her chief.
"I just," she started before she realized she was having trouble getting what she wanted to say to come out the right way. "Since I got back, I thought that you of all of people wouldn't treat me any differently, that I wouldn't have to prove myself to you all over again and again, and again but if that's what it takes to stay on the team…"
"It had nothing to do with my doubting your abilities, Emily," he said calmly, keeping his hand wrapped steadily around his mug.
"Then what was it?" She questioned. "Because I know that I'm good at what I do, and I was pretty sure you knew that too. I just- feel like I'm cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch. The awkward stand-alone oddball that nobody wants around or wants to admit is part of their family," she said with a light laugh at her reference and a few tears threatening to spill over to her cheeks. She finally admitted out loud her worries about the BAU team to someone.
"I miss teasing Reid with Morgan and having girls' night out with JJ and Garcia. JJ and Rossi have been the only ones treating me like I'm not going to drop everything and walk out on them again. Garcia's finally warming back up to me. I get that, I do. I hurt them, but I was only trying to protect my family. And now our relationships are as strained as mine is with my mother. But you, out of everyone else, I thought would understand, especially since you made the decision."
By that point the tears had spilled over and were falling silently, one by one.
"Emily," he said, reaching for and grasping her hand in his own.
"I didn't let you go because every time I saw what he did to those women- I just couldn't get that out of my head. And I knew that you were trying to prove yourself and catch the unsub at the same time. I didn't see the point of allowing you to go and risk your life again when we would have caught him anyway, which we did. It didn't have anything to do with me not trusting you. I-we just care about you so much. I think they can't stand the thought of coming close to losing you again.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to prove yourself again- to earn your place back on this team. There's no replacement for you, just like there was no real replacement for JJ on this team. We all bring something different to this little misfit family of ours," he mused.
"The others will come around; Garcia will make sure of it. And as for me, I'll try to stop letting my emotions get in the way."
Emily simply nodded, unable to say anything because of the tears she was desperately trying to hold back. Tea forgotten, Hotch got up and went over to pull Emily up and into his arms. He didn't regret it when she didn't hesitate before her arms wrapped around him, holding on just as tightly as he held on to her.
A few minutes later she pulled back and looked up at him. Seeing the look in his eyes, she brought her head slightly closer to his, angling it slightly. She didn't come too close, leaving him with enough room to back out. Then they could pretend that this close encounter never happened.
She closed her eyes, terrified of what would happen next. She almost opened them until she felt the slight pressure of his lips on hers. He pulled away from her only seconds later to make sure she was okay with what had just happened. Searching each other for any sign of apprehension, and not finding any, their lips met again.
Hotch wound his hand to the back of her neck, running his hand through her curls as she ran her hands up and down his chest. Their lips met again and again in a passionate fury until their tongues finally found each other and moved together.
They finally broke away from each other panting and out of breath.
"What does this mean?" Emily needed to know. She said it so quietly at first that she wasn't sure if Hotch had even heard her.
"It means that I've finally kissed the woman that I love and I've been wanting to for years, and that hopefully, she wouldn't mind being in a relationship with me, albeit a somewhat secretive one seeing as Strauss-" he was cut off as her lips found his again.