I own nothing, not the song or the characters, even though I really wish I do Memories in italic, song lyrics in bold and italic and normal writing for present day.
I looked at the red brick coloured house. His new life. Without me. After all, you let him go. It was for the best remember. They told you it was for the best. I pulled my jacket tighter and remembered what I had said to him.
"I know things just started for me and you, but I can't do this anymore" His face fell, the heart break I have caused apparent on his beautiful features. "It would have never have worked anyway, I mean, who could love someone like me? I not made for love." The tears in my eyes appearing at the wrong moment. "I don't understand, I love you" And that's what the Gods couldn't stand, that I was happy. "I know, and that's why this is so hard for me to do, but im not right for you. Im not right for anybody" My body ached from the web of lies I was spinning. Because the truth was, I never wanted him to leave, I loved him, and maybe even more than I should have, I never wanted to give him up. "Find someone that makes you happy, marry them, start a family, because you deserve a lot more than I can give you" He held his hand out and pulled me to him. I felt his tears on my hair; his heart began to beat frantically. "Please don't leave me?" It wasn't a question, more of a silent plea. I pulled away. "Please don't make this any harder, I love you, but you deserve to be happy" I kissed his cheek and ran my hand over his heart, remembering that it was beating for me. I turned on my heel and left. I couldn't look him in the eyes. The heartbreak would have broken me. I was letting him go for his own good, he would be much happier without me.
I felt my body shake at the pain full memory. I broke him. It wasn't fair of me to turn up here like nothing happened. Like he still loved me. I knew the little lie I had told myself wouldn't work, who could get over someone as amazing as him. As much as I tried to pretend I wasn't hurting, the pain just kept on coming back. I couldn't move on. But he did. He was married now. Why couldn't that be me? She could give him things I couldn't. She could make him happy. She could not hurt him like I did. She was better for him. I can't do this. I can't just waltz back into his life unannounced. It's not fair. "Life's not fair" A certain Goddess of Wisdom told me. No turning back now. As if by its own accord my hand knocked on the door. I was silently screaming in my head. I turned and began walking to the porch steps. The creak of a door alerted me that someone was now watching me. I turned ever so slowly to see Him in the doorway.
He was older now, his skin still the colour of rich coffee, his hair still falling around his eyes in a shaggy mane, but his eyes , they seemed so different , no sparkle, Nothing. He wasn't my boy anymore. "What are you doing here?" His voice was deeper and richer, so different from the boy I used to love. I shook my head causing my hair to fly in random directions. "Im sorry, I shouldn't have come." My throat became dry and my hands began to shake. I scrunched up my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I was about to turn and go when I felt a sharp tug and a strong hand. He was pulling me, wait dragging me into his house.
He pushed me onto the worn down couch. He sat opposite me and looked. His features etched with curiosity. His eyes filled with pain. This was a mistake. A big mistake! I closed my eyes and sighed. "What are you doing here?" His voice was louder now. I looked at him. "It err doesn't matter, I err better go." I got up but within lighting speed he was at the door, barring my exit. "You came all the way from New York just to tell me you have to go, no, now sit" He pushed me until I fell into the same seat. "I can't do this, just let me go" I struggled against his grip before giving up and lying back in the chair. "Tell me why you're here?" He inquired again. I took a deep breath before asking "Where's your wife?" He looked completely taken back. "Ex. We're getting a divorce" Oh, was I supposed to feel sorry for him? "Im sorry" He looked hurt, his eyes filled with unreadable emotions. "Why should you be? She was an awful woman" I looked at my hands seeing the promise ring he had given me on my finger. Why did I still wear it? Maybe because it's the one thing that reminds you of each other.
I adjusted the strap on my tank top and continued staring at the TV. I was in his arms; there was nowhere else I wanted to be. "Babe, can I talk to you?" I looked up, confusion setting in. "What is it?" He sifted through his pocket until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out a ring. Oh gods. He turned to me, nothing but love in his eyes. "Look, you're my girl right?" I nodded fully aware. "Well, because you're my girl, I want you to wear this?" he gently placed the ring around my finger. It was beautiful. A single platinum ring with the words true love engraved on the inside. I was now his forever.
"Why marry her?" He studied my expression before answering "Because, my beloved didn't want me anymore" I looked at him, tears swimming in my eyes. "That's not true" He looked down and fumbled with his hands. "Then why push me away?" He murmured. I swallowed; I knew it would come to this. "It was better for you this way" He growled, a low very hurting growl. "Don't give me that bull! You didn't love me" My body shook with grief. "No, I did" He got mad and stood up, body rocketing with anger. " Then why tell me to leave, and start a new life huh? Was I not good enough for you?" I stood up. Tears streaming down my face. "NO! Don't ever think that, you were too much for me, that's why we couldn't happen" He grabbed me and pulled me to his face. So close to him I could smell him again. Maybe he was still my boy. No, he can't be mine anymore. "Then tell me, does this make you nervous?" He ran his hand across my face the way he used to. I closed my eyes and lapped up the glory of his touch again. "Please don't" "Don't what? Touch you? The way I used to? Why does it make you love me again?" His voice a low whisper now. "Because no matter what I do I still love you, I told you to move on for your own good. AND EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU TO MOVE ON, IT BROKE MY HEART TOO!" I pushed him away and turned my back on him. My heart breaking at the words I just told him. "YOU LIAR!" I turned to him. Anger shook my whole body. It erupted through my veins making my hand reach out and punch his jaw as hard as I could.
I shook my hand; a dull throbbing sensation had begun in my fingers. "I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" He ran his hand across his jaw and rubbed it soothingly. "Tell me the truth" I ran my hand through my hair and drew in a sharp breathe. "What truth?" He pulled me close and grabbed my wrists. "Let go, you're hurting me" He growled. "Good, because maybe now you can feel how I feel right now" A tear escaped my eyes. He pushed me away. I grasped at my wrists; newly found bruises appearing. He then grabbed my face between his hands. "Oh gods are you okay?" I smiled a little. The feeling of his fingers on my skin was amazing. My cheeks began to heat up and the familiar flush of my cheeks came back. I felt a tiny tear trickle down my cheek. He ran a padded thumb across my cheek and wiped away the tear. "I didn't mean to hurt you" I looked down and bit my lip. Hard. "It's kay" I murmured, He was angry with himself; I could feel it practically radiating off him. "No it's not, I hurt you" "I hurt you first" I replied as in a matter of fact tone. He dropped his hands and began fiddling with them. "Please tell me the truth" I sighed before taking a seat. This was going to be a long story.
"The gods told me that we couldn't be together anymore, if I disobeyed they would have turned you into ashes. I couldn't have let that happen to you. I was protecting you. I had to let you go, for your own good." He knelt down in front of me. "So you never stopped loving me?" I grabbed his hands and pulled them towards my heart. I layed his palm flat against it, to feel the beat of my heart. "Now you tell me?" I looked at his face, eyes scrunched in deep thought. But does he still love me? He moved his hand and rested it against my cheek. I couldn't help but involuntarily leant into it. "I never once stopped loving you. I needed you to be happy" I couldn't stop the tears from falling. "I love you still" I pushed his hand away and stood up. I had to go now. I came here to tell him and now that was done I needed to go. "You can't leave me. Not again!" My heart wrenched at those words. "Im sorry Nico, But like I said, we CANT be together. As much as I want it, we just can't" I felt the familiar feeling of guilt in my body, poisoning my blood. "But Rachel. I love you" I smiled and felt my gut fall at the feeling of leaving him broken again. "Those words Nico are what I needed to hear for such a long time" I ran up to him and hugged him. One last time. He was my boy, and would always be.
I heard that you're settled down. I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited. Never mind I'll find someone like you.
That you found a girl and your married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.
Old friend why are you so shy?
It ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
But I couldn't stay away I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don't forget me I beg
I remember you said:-
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
but sometimes it hurts instead yeah
Sooo, I know, kinda a bittersweet ending and im sorry for that but ya know, I love to leave suspense.
All right's go to Adele
I hope you liked it
I would love reviews my lil readers
Lots of {love} Angie xoxo