It was a long journey, and oftentimes it seemed useless. Her efforts bore no fruit. She chased after every lead, no matter how small, looking for a cure, and sometimes regretting having killed the Architect. Perhaps he could have saved her. Perhaps he could have saved them.
Kallian was the first to ever try finding a cure, a way to escape the Calling, but after hearing of the former Grey Warden, Enchanter Fiona, she gained hope. Hope that she could escape the Blight, which she had taken on for the sake of duty, to save the world from the darkspawn.
Somehow the Inquisition's spies had found her. When she found out Leliana was involved, Kallian wasn't all that surprised. The bard was sneaky, she knew where to look, and she wasn't one to give up easily. How many months had passed since then? It was hard to tell. Each day dragged by slowly now that she was alone, without Alistair.
Then she received another letter. Not from the Inquisitor or the Inquisition's diplomat Josephine Montilyet, but from Leliana herself. It unnerved Kallian; a foreboding feeling surfaced when she received the letter. She'd left so much behind when she took up this quest. Amaranthine, her position of authority, her lover. Now, at an extremely odd time, she was receiving news from an old friend. The crow that had delivered the letter patiently waited, perched on a tree branch, for the Warden to open the seal and read the message.
Finally, after an excruciatingly long period of silence, Kallian broke the wax seal and pulled out the letter. She read its contents, confused. She was no mage, and had only been trapped in the Fade once, but not like this. Not physically. Then she got to the second to last paragraph. It consisted mostly of apologies for a few sentences which with it held the weight of a golem. Trapped. Left behind. Brave sacrifice.
Kallian was silent, unsure of what to make of the words. The smoothly written text which Leliana had written with ease, no sign of emotion, no shakiness from a trembling hand. Just factual and to the point with a few sincere but otherwise meaningless apologies. Necessary. Sacrifice.
In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.
She knew that last part all too well. The troops in Ostagar, Riordan in Denerim. She'd managed to avoid it that last time, during that final confrontation with the Archdemon. She and Alistair had cheated their way out of death with the help of Morrigan's Dark Ritual, the consequences of which Kallian would never fully know.
Probably the strangest words were in the final paragraph. What seemed to be an attempt at a semblance of comfort from the Left Hand, a mere Chantry lay-sister when Kallian had first met her. Leliana's connections gave her much information, and that information had revealed something that Leliana felt worth mentioning. Adaia.
Leliana had met Adaia many years ago. An imprisoned elf who thanked her for setting her free, promising to teach her child that not all humans were cruel. Then Leliana had looked further into the Warden's past to reveal this relation. She was certain only because of Kallian's appearance. Slightly fairer, but Kallian had the same dark skin as her mother, and the same dirty blonde hair. She was now certain that Kallian was the child Adaia had spoken of, and she assured Kallian that her mother, whom she barely even remembered, would be proud.
It was a comfort, but only for a short time. Because she had lost her mother. All those years she had tried to ask her father for more information. To tell her stories about her brave mother who he swore she acted exactly like, but he always refused for a reason Kallian could never understand. Not until now. Because when she reread those words, trapped, left behind, brave sacrifice, it hit her. It finally hit her. She dropped the letter, which floated to the ground, and fell to her knees.
The sound of her screams echoed throughout the woods, and startled the bird, which flew away in fear to return to Leliana.
The lack of a response would be answer enough for the bard.