Author's notes: Written for the Nordic Secret Santa project 2009 on livejournal. The prompt I chose was "pranks". The title simply means "Now then" and wasn't really meant to fit with the story, although in an odd way I guess it does... Beta read by ladydarkmoon on livejournal.
Nu så!
Denmark was flat out giggling. At last, at last he had come up with the perfect prank on Sweden. Four eyes was gonna get it this time! Ah, here he comes, must stifle giggling.
"Hn?" Sweden looked down to the ground. A discarded wallet was lying there in a rather conspicuous manner. Just as he was thinking about taking it to the police he noticed a black string attached to it. Raising his eyebrow, he started to kneel as if he were to pick it up.
Denmark thought to himself how awsome this was getting, and just a little bit further and he would pull. Halfway through the kneeling, Sweden turned on his foot so that the leg he wasn't standing on got positioned right above the string upon which it then fell with deafening speed. He then took the string off, picked up the wallet and rose to his full height like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Walking along with the string, he leisurely looked through the contents of the wallet. Reaching the bushes where he noticed tufts of spiky blond hair emerging from, he tossed it in there aiming for the said tufts of hair.
"Lost s'methin', Dane?"
xxxxx
"FAANDEEEN!" The tall Dane let out as soon as he found Norway in his living room.
"Another failure, then?" Norway asked without looking up from his book.
"I was so certain this time... " Denmark started stalking back and forth. "No way Sweden knows about that trick!"
"Because it's so old?"
"Yes! Exactly! It's such an old trick, no one would think to do it today, so no one would think it would actually be a trick, so if someone as preachy as Sve were to see a wallet, he wouldn't think that it's a trick, but that someone would have honestly lost their wallet and that it would be his civic duty to return it to the rightful owner or the police if no owner could be easily identified."
"Mhm," Norway intoned neutrally, thankful that he gotten used to the pitch that always entered Denmark's voice when he started rambling. Made it much easier to tune him out and read while waiting for his self-proclaimed older brother to arrive at whatever conclusion he would arrive at today.
"Great!" Denmark suddenly said while pulling Norway's book away from him. "It's so great to have you agree to help me!" Norway froze as he got caught up in an authentic Danish bearhug. What? What had he agreed to? Had he agreed to anything? It wasn't impossible, he feared, that his non committal murmurs had been possible to interpret as committal. It was too late anyway, obviously he had agreed to something.
xxxxx
The knocking from the door took Sweden's attention away from the little project he had been working on for the last couple of months. He didn't mind though, was thinking about taking a coffee break anyway, and company just makes fika all the better. He put the project and his tools away, and went to open the door.
"Hi Sweden," Finland greeted him, a cute wooly dog yapping right beside him. "I hope it's alright with me and Hanatamago stopping by. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
Sweden just stepped aside to allow the shorter man inside his house. Lifting up his dog, Finland took it as his friend's way of saying "No, not at all, please come in", and walked into the hallway.
"Was jus' abou' t' make s'me coffee," the taller man walked into the kitchen. "Want some?"
"Yes please. I was kinda hoping for that actually."
As they sat down in the living room, coffee cups and a basket of cinnamon rolls on the table, Finland noticed a piece of wood shaving in Sweden's hair. Gingerly he bent forward and picked it out.
"Let me guess, you've been locking yourself into your hobby room again, huh?"
"Yes," Sweden didn't see any possibility of denial, with the evidence so clear.
"You've been doing that a lot lately, haven't you? You're not upset about anything, are you?" Finland knew since long back that his former self-proclaimed husband had a tendency towards burying himself in work rather than voice his feelings. The problem was that he could decide to do so regardless of if it were about positive feelings or negative ones. Was it any wonder he was so difficult to read?
"Not really. Just got s'me n'rvous energy I s'ppose."
"I heard about your prank-war with Denmark," Finland began, getting in on his real reason for stopping by. "What's really going on there?"
"The usual."
"The usual?" Finland raised his eyebrows. "You two haven't been at war for almost two hundred years. I thought you guys were getting along better these days. What's this really about?"
"The usual, in that he's too st'bborn."
Finland didn't buy it.
"What did you do?" he asked instead.
Sweden squirmed under the perceived scrutiny.
"Might have said th't there's no way he could tr'ck me. He took it as 'n assault on his intellect."
"But do you really think he's stupid?"
"Not really. But he's made up his mind t' trick me n'w, 't any cost."
"Why not just pretend to be tricked?"
"Neith'r his pride n'r mine would allow it."
"So you're both being stubborn."
"I guess," Sweden resumed sipping his coffee.
xxxxx
The doorbell rang for the second time, which prompted Finland to quip that Sweden was getting a lot of visitors for one day. Sweden merely grunted before going to answer the door. He found himself surprised to see Norway of all people looking panicked and stressed out.
"Thank God you're home, Sweden." Norway grabbed Sweden's sweater. "It's Denmark, he's really lost it this time. He's gone to the mountains to get a hold of the largest troll in Norway. I've no idea what he's planning, but it can't be good. You've got to stop him!"
Sweden didn't say anything, just pulled on his boots, grabbed his coat and ran out of his house, putting the coat on while running towards Norway's mountains.
Finland made to put on his own shoes.
"There's no need to follow him," Norway said suddenly a lot calmer than he had been a moment ago. "I know where he'll end up anyway."
"You know what's going on?" Finland raised an eyebrow and gave him a peculiar look.
"Unfortunately yes."
xxxxx
"DENMARK!" Sweden was starting to panic. Denmark wasn't used to mountains, and his trolls weren't quite like Norway's. If anything happened to him, it would be... "DENMARK! WHERE'RE YE? DENMARK!"
"Right here!"
Sweden turned towards the shout and found his own voice caught in his throat. Denmark was situated precariously atop a huge glacial erratic. And behind him could be seen the shoulders and head of a very large troll.
"So, whaddya think?" Denmark was grinning from ear to ear, as he gestured back to the troll behind him. "Of course, this is a bit ahead of schedule. You weren't supposed to be here right now, but as any good trickster I know improvisation."
"Th't's nice, Den," Sweden spoke carefully, stepping forward gently. "Jus' come down fr'm t' rock. Caref'lly."
"Pfh!" Denmark crossed his arms. "I'm not done here."
"St'p actin' like a KID!" Sweden was too worried, and it was getting him angry. "'s not worth riskin' yer life 'n limb t' make a point! Ye know th't!"
"Or do I?" Denmark struck a dramatic pose, rendering Sweden speachless.
"Just kidding," Denmark stuck out his tongue. "Of course I wouldn't risk my life! And that's not what I'm doing right now anyway, so that's completely besides the point. I want one simple thing from you, and I think we both know what it is."
"Denmark," Sweden looked at the man he had known for as long as he could remember. The man that had been a friend and an enemy so many different times, he had honestly lost count of which he had been more of. One of the few people in the world that he could possibly call a brother. "If I tell ye wh't ye want t' hear, will ye come down 'n go home th'n?"
Denmark didn't bother to pretend to think about it, and just grinned at his old friend.
"Maybe. But only if you really mean it."
"Denmark, I d'n't think-"
"But you've got to see this first!" Denmark excitedly jumped to his feet and turned towards the troll. "Hey troll, do as I say and lift this big old rock I'm standing on!"
"Wh't?" Whatever Sweden had just felt himself forced to admit about his brother being smarter than he appeared to be, he was mentally taking it all back now before it even got said.
The troll shrugged its boulder like shoulders and then lifted the rock that Denmark was already precariously situated upon.
"Haha! Awesome!" Denmark was shouting with glee. But then the rock wobbled a little, which is really unavoidable when a troll is lifting it. "Whoah! Oh no!" He fell backwards off the rock, and was visible falling for only a moment before he kept falling behind the mountain from where Sweden was standing.
"DENMAAAARK!" Sweden ran up the last remaining part of the way up the hill, and stopped as he came to the edge of the cliff. It was straight down, at least a hundred meters down to a forest below. No sight of Denmark. "DENMARK! I'm sorry! 'f course ye wer m're cunning than me! H'w else would ye h've beaten me when ye did? I've n'ver thought differn'tly. Ye didn't have t'get yerself killed like th's..."
"You mean it?"
"Yes, I-" Sweden snapped his head up. Denmark was held up by the troll with the hand that wasn't holding the glacial erratic. "Wh't?"
"You admitted it!"
"Ye... planned th's?"
"Of course!" Denmark signaled to the troll, who lowered him down beside Sweden. "You gotta admit, I sure fooled ya!"
"Sure... fool'd... me...."
"I know, right?"
xxxxx
"You're sure we shouldn't go see that they're alright?" Finland looked over at Norway again.
"Yes," Norway munched on some liquorice before cupping his ear with one hand. "Besides I can hear them coming now."
Finland, who had busied himself by playing with Hanatamago rather than worrying about his two old friends potentially killing each other, for the first time started to listen attentively. And yes, he could clearly hear that while still far away yet, two people were running towards them, one of them screaming...
"Ahh, can't you take a damn joke, Sve?"
"A joke? Ye h'd me grievin' fer ye in vain, 'n I'm about t' remedy th't!"
Finland sighed in relief. "They're both fine!"
"Thought as much," Norway mused. "If those two can't kill each other, nothing can."