Disclaimer: I really thought I owned Nathan Fillion, but I can't find the crayon contract, so I guess I must have dreamt that. (Translation: None of this is mine, duh.)
A/n: I kept waiting for a scene like this to happen in the premiere, and it didn't come, so I had to write it. :D The missing scene between Castle and the guys, this is my tag to the end of the S3 premiere "A Deadly Affair". Just a wee plot bunny who needed writing (he asked nicely). Enjoy!
Castle was just about to unlock his car when he heard his name.
"Hey Castle – hold up."
He turned to see Esposito and Ryan approaching him. "Hey guys, what's up?
"You busy?" asked Ryan.
"I was just heading home, why? Something more with the case?"
Esposito shook his head. "No. We were wondering if you got time for a quick drink?"
Castle shrugged. "Why not."
The trio left Castle's car behind in the parking lot and walked a block down to the nearest bar. They were settled with a beer each and Ryan's mouth was set in a grim line. Uncomfortably recalling the cold shoulder he'd been receiving from him and Esposito the whole week, Castle shifted uneasily in his chair.
"Castle – " Ryan began after a few moments, but Castle hastily cut him off.
"Look, earlier, I wasn't actually apologizing. You guys asked what were – and I wasn't…" He was having trouble articulating his thoughts which bothered him. He glanced between the two men across from him and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I am sorry for not calling. I just… I thought you guys didn't really need me." He dropped his gaze to his beer bottle and added in a mumble, "I didn't think sh– you'd miss me." He smiled sheepishly.
One corner of Ryan's mouth quirked into a small half-smile. "You with all the wacky theories and helpful insights? C'mon. You liven the place up."
Castle chuckled.
"Look, it's not a big deal to me that you didn't call, alright? You had things you were doing, you're a busy guy with a busy life, we get it. I figured you'd stop in when you had some down time." Esposito shrugged and took a quick sip of his beer.
"'Course, you know, I did think we were friends or something, and friends usually call…" Ryan grumbled.
"Yes, we're friends – we're definitely friends!" Castle interjected, gesturing widely with his hand. "And I'm sorry, I am. Is there a number of times I need to say it before you two will forgive me? I'm sorry I didn't call."
Ryan glanced at Esposito who leaned forward on the table.
"I said it wasn't a big deal to me. But it was a big deal to her."
He regarded his friend seriously. Castle swallowed and picked at the label on his bottle.
It was a big deal to him, too, if he was being honest. He didn't call because she was with Demming – she was happy with Demming. Or at least, he'd assumed so - certainly thought so before he left. He wasn't about to start calling and getting his conflicted feelings in the mix, messing that up. Especially when he was busy finding the old spark with Gina. It felt comfortable with her again, in a way that it hadn't been in a long time. Maybe it was timing, maybe it was something else. But writing in the Hamptons with Gina had been very fun, truly. Even if at night he had to ignore the dark cloud that would unpleasantly permeate his contentment as he imagined her and Demming, laughing and kissing and happy somewhere else.
"I didn't know she and Demming weren't together anymore." Castle finally said.
"She broke up with him before you left – your last day, in fact." Ryan replied.
Castle blinked, surprised. "She didn't mention that part."
"She shouldn't have had to," said Ryan. "Whether she was with Demming or not, she does care about you, Castle. She'll break my arms for saying it, and especially to you, but it really bummed her out that you didn't call. You know how tough she is – she pretended it didn't bother her."
"So you two, with the anger and the snappy remarks at me all week. That was for her benefit?"
"She's less vindictive than us." Ryan answered with a smile.
"She's our girl – we were just sticking up for her when she got her heart a little broke." Esposito had another swig of his beer.
She does care about you, Castle. Ryan's word seemed like an echo in Castle's mind. He selfishly hoped by care he meant in the romantic sense, but that wasn't necessarily the case. Maybe he meant like a brother – an annoying older brother who doesn't call. He winced slightly at the idea and then had to forcefully direct his thoughts away from it all. He was with Gina now, anyway, so why was he worrying about the context behind the word care in a sentence about Beckett?
The guys finished their beers, and then Ryan and Esposito stood.
"We'll see you later, Castle." Ryan nodded in his direction.
"Thanks for the drinks," said Esposito.
Castle opened his mouth to protest – since when was he the one buying? – but Ryan added swiftly, "And the apology."
Castle closed his mouth and said smartly, "You're very welcome."
"See that it don't happen again or I swear I'll tear you up." Esposito warned. "You pull a stunt that again on our girl, and I will take you out, friends or not."
Castle laughed but stopped short as the other man pointed at him threateningly. The writer found himself shrinking away and gulping at his friend's ominous warning.
"Okay! Alright! Next time I'll call, I promise!" He said defensively, his hands up surrender.
Ryan laughed and Esposito gave Castle one more very serious glare before the pair headed out of the bar. "See you tomorrow, Castle."
Castle bid them goodbye in return, watched them go and then turned to his half empty label-less beer bottle. He was a bit amused by the whole conversation, appreciating the way Beckett's guys had her back at all times, whether she knew it or not. At the same time, the conversation vexed him.
She does care about you, Castle. She does...
He sighed and downed the last of his beer, wishing everything with Beckett wasn't so much of a cloudy, emotional mess that he always kept to himself. If she'd only told him she'd broken up with Demming before he'd decided to call Gina (but what would he have done it about then?). If only he hadn't gone to the Hamptons with Gina - he'd be a book short, maybe, but...
If only he could just tell her that he loved that she smelled like cherries, that he'd laid awake night after night over the summer trying to picture the scent with enough clarity and then banishing the thoughts because he liked Gina, very much (he had married her once, after all). And he couldn't think about Beckett like that anyway, Gina or not, because he'd been under the impression she was still with that jerk Demming (okay, so he wasn't really a jerk, but he'd be easier to hate if he was, and Castle could pretend - it was easier to imagine this far away from it all anyway). If only he could know what Ryan meant by care, then maybe...
Maybe, what if, maybe, what if...
He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed heavily. It was no use trying to figure out all the angles, no use considering what didn't happen, no use imagining all the various scenarios. Next time he'd call, that was that. And in the meantime, he'd try to forget that he probably lost his chance with her, and remember why he'd gotten back together with Gina.
He paid the tab and exited the bar.
-end-
A/n: Well, it got angstier than I originally thought, but there it is. Thanks for reading and any review is greatly welcomed! :D