This is a story for everyone (including myself) who feels they could have done a little better in their exams...I hope it makes everyone who feels down feel a bit better.
Disclaimer : I don't own HP.
Lily Evans stared at the piece of parchment, unable to believe her eyes. She folded it up quickly when she saw James Potter, Head Boy, trying to sneak a look at it. Without another glance at him and a glare at Professor McGonagall, she marched out of class before anyone else as soon as the bell rang.
Transfiguration had been the last class of the day. At dinner –
"All right Potter, what did you do to Lily?" asked Mary, one of Lily's friends, marching up to James with her arms crossed. "She's just sitting in the dorm, refusing to eat."
"I didn't do anything!" spluttered James.
"Did you ask her out again?"
"No! I said I wouldn't since it bothered her so much!"
"Did you hex Snape?"
"Er…not in front of her," James said sheepishly.
Mary glared at him. "Innocent until proven guilty," she said threateningly and walked away.
"You didn't upset Lily did you?" asked Sirius quietly.
"No! I really can't think of anything I might have done," said James, puzzled.
Lily's bad mood persisted through the rest of the night. She refused to tell anyone what had happened to her. Everyone tried to cheer her up.
"Hey Lily, look, your favourite band's performing in Hogsmeade next weekend. I think I can get tickets," said Mary enthusiastically.
"You hate the Skeleton Men, Mary," Lily said.
"I'm willing to go with a friend."
"What's the point? My singing's so bad, I can't even make a career out of that," Lily said morosely.
"Um…okay?" said Mary, looking confused at the sudden change of topic.
She reported the conversation to the Marauders. "What was that supposed to mean?" she finished, exasperatedly.
"It sounds like Evans is off her rocker," said Sirius. "I'll show you the right way to cheer someone up."
The next day at breakfast, as soon as Lily sat down, her goblet gave a loud "MEW!" Startled, she looked at it. It slowly turned into an exceptionally cute kitten with soft golden fur and a red ribbon around its neck. All the girls in the vicinity went "Aww…" as it blinked up at Lily with adorable big brown eyes, the epitome of cuteness. Lily stared at the kitten and then looked up. Sirius was sitting in front of her, his wand out.
"Have you ever seen anything so adorable in your life, Evans?" he asked. "Go on, give the kitty a smile, you know you want to," he coaxed.
Lily glared at him. "Sirius Black, you are just an insufferable show off!" She marched out, leaving the kitten and Sirius with identical hurt looks on their faces.
"I actually thought that was a good idea," said Mary, as Sirius turned the kitten back into a goblet gloomily.
James tried to get Lily to cheer up during lunch.
"Hey Lily, you did really well in Charms today. I've never seen such colourful bubbles," he said.
"Really?" asked Lily, perking up.
"Yeah! And your Transfiguration's really got a whole lot better too!" he said, looking at her hopefully.
Immediately, Lily's expression turned to anger. "Well obviously, my Transfiguration's nowhere near as outstanding as yours, is it Potter?" she said and ran out of the hall.
"Potter?" James said, looking extremely upset, "She hasn't called me that for a year now."
"She has an issue with your Transfiguration?" asked Peter, looking confused.
James frowned. "Now you mention it, she's been like this ever since yesterday's Transfiguration class."
A look of understanding suddenly passed across Remus' face. Instead of heading to Ancient Runes after lunch, he headed to the common room, making a quick stop at the Library on the way. As he'd expected, Lily was sitting by the window in the empty common room. She was staring at a piece of parchment with a thoroughly miserable expression. When she saw Remus approaching, she immediately folded up the parchment.
He smiled kindly at her as he put down a library book in front of her and sat down. She looked at him, a small smile on her face as she picked up the book. "You actually found a 'Five Find-Outers' book in the Hogwarts library?"
"You told me you grew up with Enid Blyton. I thought it might cheer you up," he said.
There was a short silence which Remus broke awkwardly. "What grade did you get on the Transfiguration test, Lily?"
"I hoped you'd be the first one to come and try to make me feel better," said Lily quietly.
Remus sighed. "Lily, sometimes, I wonder how two people who are exact opposites, like us, can be best friends. You're the most outspoken person I know and yet, you hesitate to tell even your best friends about your feelings. I'm a Marauder, I'm supposed to be brave and loyal and yet, I'm always the last person to come and help you, because I'm too afraid that I won't understand."
Lily unfolded the parchment slowly. A big 'A' was scrawled on top of the test.
Remus looked relieved, "It's just an 'A'. Merlin, I thought you'd got a 'D' or a 'T' or something."
Lily glared at him. "This is just as bad! Have you ever got an 'A' Remus?" Lily demanded.
"I got an 'A' in my Potions O.W.L."
"Really?" Lily asked, surprised.
"Yeah, why do you think I dropped the subject?"
"But this is different. This is N.E.W.T year. Our futures are decided by our grades. I nearly failed Remus. I bet you and your friends never fail anything," said Lily, her eyes tearing up.
"Hey don't cry," said Remus, "Look Lily, what did you get in your Transfiguration practical in O.W.L?"
"E," sniffed Lily.
"There you go. Look, these tests are designed to test how much you've memorized and how much you can remember in a short span of time okay? They don't test your abilities and frankly, you've proved often enough that you're one amazing witch. You aren't going to need the Definition of a Vanishing Spell or who discovered Chomping Cabbages in real life. So you couldn't remember the answers to a few questions in time. That doesn't mean you're never going to remember them!"
"But I worked so hard. I studied for so long and I still didn't do well," said Lily.
"Well that just means you need to work harder. Just because you didn't take the first opportunity that came your way doesn't mean there won't be others," said Remus.
"No, I'm just a bad witch. There's no way I'll make it into Auror Academy," said Lily, looking dejected.
"Lily this is just one test score. There will be plenty of tests in the future, trust me, and they aren't going to ask you how much you know. They're going to test you on how you can use what you know. When I got an 'A' in Potions, I thought that was the end of my Auror career too. I was losing hope, especially because of my furry little problem, until I remembered a story my mum used to tell me when I was young and my transformations nearly killed me. She used to say that there were stars in the night to remind people that no matter how dark it may seem, there's always a little light that you can hold on to. There would always be stars of hope that you could focus on until the dawn came, bringing sunlight and happiness again. As long as you have hope, you can get through the darkest of nights."
"But I'm going to need Transfiguration to be an Auror," said Lily, "Just hope can't make me good at the subject."
"Lily, are you seriously telling me that you're going to continue getting 'A's all through your Auror career?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well…no…"
"I know you Lily Evans. I know that you're a fighter. You're not going to let a test score get in the way of your dreams. All these grades do is tell you that you're not good enough today. That doesn't mean you're going to stay the same forever. Of course you're going to improve."
"But I may not get into the best of the Auror academies if my Transfiguration is so bad," said Lily.
"You don't need the best to be the best. You just need to believe in yourself and never lose sight of your goal. Lily trust me, you'll do well no matter where you are as long as you don't give up. In the end, you'll be as good as, or better than the best in whatever you choose to do. Before I got my letter from Hogwarts, I was prepared to be home-schooled. I was ready to learn magic any way I could because I knew that was the only way I could change the way my kind are treated. I think I would still have ended up a good wizard even if I hadn't come to Hogwarts because that was what I really wanted to be. When you really want something, you'll do your best to get it no matter how many people say you can't do it," said Remus.
"What if it's too hard, Remus? There are so many geniuses to compete with," said Lily.
"People who get to the top aren't always geniuses. Most of them are regular people like you and me, who believe in themselves and who resolve to work hard to be as good as any genius. You'll definitely have some hard days but you'll get through them. Trust me, no one knows better than I do that life is full of second chances as long as you know that you deserve as second chance and you're willing to put it to good use," said Remus.
"What if I can't do it?" said Lily, softly. "What if I'm not strong enough?"
"When you feel that way, your friends will always be there for you to help you back on your feet. You said my friends never fail at anything, that's not true. Sirius failed to hold on to his little brother. James failed at getting you to go out with him. Peter fails a lot of things. But they're all still trying to achieve their goals. They're still going because we encourage each other. And we'll be there for you too. We'll give you extra Transfiguration lessons everyday if we have to so that you can fulfill your dreams."
He looked her in the eye and continued, "We'll be there to hand you a tissue when you cry, we'll be there to hoist you on our shoulders when you succeed. We'll be there through everything Lily. We believe you can do it. We'll help you show everyone that a stupid grade can't set in stone what your future's going to be like. Only you can do that. Faith in yourself; good, solid, hard work and a set of loving, supportive friends are all you need to be the best. One 'A' should not stop you from moving on to get an 'O' next time."
His eyes softened as he spoke, "I know it seems very easy to say and hard to do, but everyone goes through a phase when they think nothing can help them. That's how I feel sometimes after a full moon. But I keep remembering that I can't give up. It's the only way I'll ever do something to help myself and others like me. It's hard to pull yourself back up, but when you have so many people giving you a hand, you know it's not impossible. Tough, definitely, but never impossible. Life has a habit of stacking all the odds against you but it also has a way of sending help from unexpected places. You'll make it through every obstacle Lily, I know you will. You're made for so much more than what a test grade tells you."
Lily folded up the parchment. "You're right, Remus. Whatever grade I get in my N.E. is important, but it's not final. If I believe I can do better, I can do better. Sure a good grade might make my path easier but a slightly less good grade doesn't change my final destination. The journey will be harder, but I will make it to the end. With you by my side, I can take anything I have to face. Yes, my test grades are important but as nothing more than to tell me where I'm not good enough yet. They aren't going to tell me that I'm not good at all or that I'll never be good enough. I know I can do it."
Remus smiled. "That's the spirit, Lily. Now come on, we have Charms in ten minutes."
"Hey Remus, you talked about your friends but did you ever fail in anything?"
He grinned. "Not yet, but it will happen someday. Everyone has to do badly in something. It's the only way to learn."
Lily's next question surprised him because of the hopeful tone in which she asked it. "So James is still interested in me?"
Four years later –
Remus stood in front of the wrecked cottage, anguish in every line of his face. His best friends, his only friends since Sirius had been the spy and now that Peter was dead, were gone. He had felt uneasy, he'd thought of checking on them earlier in the evening, but he'd brushed it off thinking everything was alright.
He should have gone. He could have helped them. He'd promised Lily he'd help her through everything. He'd let her down. He hadn't been there for her like he should have. He hadn't done his duty. He had finally…failed.
And the first time he failed, there were no friends to help him through. But he had a second chance, he always would - keep Harry Potter safe.
I hope I didn't make anyone feel worse...
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