Sadness
Author: AbbyGibbs aka CSISteph
Disclaimers: CSI: Miami's characters don't belong to me. They belong to Anthony E. Zuiker, CBS, Jerry Bruckheimer and a bunch of other people, but I suppose you all know the drill, don't you?
Classification: Drama
Rating: T or maybe K+ (as always to be on the safe side, isn't it?)
Spoilers: end season 4, beginning season 5
Summary: Horatio's thoughts
Author's note: don't ask me where it comes from, I have no idea, it just came into my mind. Thanks, Christelle, I'm sure you know why.
Thank you, Shaz, for the beta reading you are the best, my friend.
Feedbacks: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.
*****
It's raining. Just like my feelings. Like my heart is crying. But I'm not. I don't want to, I can't. I can't anymore. I've suffered so much that there are no tears left to cry.
What's left over for me? I've lost my mother, my brother, a colleague and friend, now my wife. How ironical we're supposed to share what we feel… and then what?
The person I thought I'd spend my entire life with – or what's left of it – has been taken away from me. So how could I still love? Really love without being frightened to death to lose her?
Yeah, but on the other hand, we never know when death will come and we can't live in the fear that she'll finally come and take us. We wouldn't live anymore in that case.
So what should we do? Simply live as if each day would be the last and continue to dispend justice to the victims. It's what I was born for. I am what I am today because of my mother's death, and I am what life has made of me because of the trials I've been through without making a fuss, so why then?
I know. I know everything happens for a reason. I hope that someday I will find a reason to all this.
I made you a promise, my love, I will never leave you. You will always be in my heart, Marisol, the world didn't stop turning, and killers didn't stop their killing, the victims need me to give them what they deserve: justice.
I love you, I always will. Good-bye, my love
He stood up, put his sunglasses on as he always did and walk towards his life without, Marisol letting the rain soak him. Who knows, maybe it would manage to ease his pain…
THE END
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