STARWARS ABRIDGED
Bearsage and Animefan1986 do not own starwars. Or dragon ball Z abridged
Darth Sidious: Vaaader, Vaaaaaaader!
Darth Vader: What is it, Lord Sidious?
Darth Sidious: I saw a space-fish. That is all. Go back outside now.
Darth Vader (Thinking): Oh, god, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exiting happens around here soon. I don't care WHAT it is.
Darth Sidious: Vaadeeer!
Darth Vader: What?
Darth Sidious: I saw a space-bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.
Darth Sidious (After Vader refused to be called 'Big Black'): Big Blaaack! Get in here.
Darth Vader: Oh, guh-god dammit. What is it, Lord Sidious?
Darth Sidious: I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee- Vader. Theres a Blue Stormtrooper standing behind you. Kill it like the rest!
Twi'lek #1: Uh, actually, sir, I'm from Ryloth.
Darth Sidious: Kill it like the rest.
Twi'lek #1: Uuuhh...
Darth Vader: uh, actually, sir, I think she has bussiness here about those people attacking the Death Star.
Twi'lek #1: Yeah. We came here looking for work. And I see you have a lack of dancers. Well we are gonna make sure you have some.
Darth Sidious: And how is that?
Twi'lek #1: How do you think!
Darth Vader: Learn your place, Twi'lek! You have some nerve demanding work from-
Darth Sidious: Fine, your hired.
Darth Vader: I- What?
Darth Sidious: Just dont steal the HD Entertainment Holo-Projectors.
Darth Vader: Sir, we... we don't HAVE HD Entertainment Holo-Projectors.
Darth Sidious: …. Vader. Gather the best of the bounty hunters and tell them to get HD Entertainment Holo-Projectors.
Darth Vader: Lord Sidious, that would be a grievous misuse of their abilities.
Darth Sidious: I'm about to misuse my hand upside your head.
Darth Vader: Sidious, sir. We have another traveler from Ryloth.
Darth Sidious: Oh. Tell me you didn't let him inside.
Twi'lek #2: Hello, Mr. Sidious.
Darth Sidious: Oh, goddammit!
Twi'lek #2: Mr. Sidious, sir? My friend told me you can help us by... touching me.
Darth Sidious: Do I look Catholic to you?
Darth Vader: Sir, I think he means he wants you to reach his hidden potential?
Twi'lek #2: Yeah, that.
Darth Sidious: Fine. Stand still. Its your first time, so I'll be gentle. Now relax as I reach DEEP inside you and grab hold of your essence!
Twi'lek #2: I... need an adult?
Darth Sidious: I AM AN ADUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLL-!
Darth Sidious: Vaaaaaaader, do we have a visitor?
Darth Vader: Yes, sir!
Darth Sidious: Vaaaaaaader, take his coat!
Luke: I dont have a coat.
Darth Vader: He doesn't have a coat, sir! And I believe this is the man who killed 60% of our workforce.
Darth Sidious: Vaaader. Don't take his coat.
Luke: You see, I recently acquired what you people people refer to as 'Tie-Fighters', but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want.
Darth Vader: Did you try working the shaft?
Luke: Classy.
Darth Sidious: Vaaader, what does he want!?
Darth Vader: He's asking how to use the Tie-Fighters!
Darth Sidious: Did you tell him to work the shaft?
Darth Vader: Yes, lord Sidious!
Darth Sidious: Good work, Vader.
Luke: I have the distinct impression you're going to be difficult.
Darth Vader: Well, sir, if your having trouble with our customer support, you can call 1-800-Eat-A-D*ck.
Darth Sidious: You don't even HAVE one those!
Luke: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What IS that? -force blasts Sidious's hiding screen-
Darth Sidious: Oh my god! There's actual LIGHT!
Luke: Good lord, I was led to believe you were an all powerful dark lord, who would have looked young and intimidating! How is he so old!?
Darth Sidious: Oh. Hello. I'm Lord Sidious. And I'm the guy who's NOT judging you on your appearance.
Luke: Well, my name is Luke, hero of most of the know galaxy. I'm here to offer you a deal. You give me the information I require, and I'll let the sporting young man live.
Darth Sidious: Please. Vader isn't afraid of you. He is the strongest of our order.
Luke: Oh, really?
Darth Vader: Uhhh, sir?
Darth Sidious: Yeah. Vader's gonna destroy your sorry ass! They wouldn't be able to air it on the news because it'll be sooooo BRUTAL!
Darth Vader: Sir, seriously...
Darth Sidious: Hush Vader! I'm speaking for you.
Luke: Well, then, if this is the only course of action AVAILABLE to me, I accept.
Darth Vader: Sir, his power is overwhelming! I can also sense its a fraction of what he's capable of.
Darth Sidious: Vader. Listen to me. You are the Empires number one Sith warrior. A prodigy sith lord. You have been trained in the ancient ways! I believe in you.
Darth Vader: You... mean that, Lord Sidious?
Darth Sidious: Yes, Vader. Now show him the staggering power of the Sith, and waste his smug ass!
Darth Vader: Yes sir! Follow me! -leaves with Luke-
Darth Sidious: … Fool, if I had trained him in the new way, he might have stood a chance.
Authors note
DONT KILL US PLEASE WE LOVE STAR WARS THIS IS SOMETHING THAT POPPED INTO OUR TWISTED IMAGINATION
IF YOU DONT GET THE REFERANCES WATCH DBZ ABRIDGED FRIEZA SAGA
TO BE CONCLUDED IN A SHORT CHAPTER TWO!