Disclaimer: Don't own it. If I did, I wouldn't of let it end with a cliffhanger that still tortures me today.
Howl
Chapter One: Home
Even though she'd never had a month pass so slowly, Sophia Donner still wasn't ready for this one to end.
Sitting on the snow soaked porch steps of the old Victorian home that had been her private sanctuary these past weeks, she sat with her hands clamped tightly between her knees and her bottom lip clenched between her teeth, dreading having to face the mess she'd left behind when she'd been bundled out of town by her father.
He was due to arrive any minute, to take her back to it all.
Feeling her agitation rise, Sophia reached into the pocket of her heavy shearling coat and retrieved the bottle she found there. She popped the lid and shook out two small white pills and knocked them back.
Clonidine.
The four doses a day she'd been prescribed made her feel like a junky, except instead of getting high she just ended up feeling light headed and cotton mouthed. But they also restricted the amount of epinephrine her body produced—and so far—drastically reduced her urge to flip.
Sophia sighed. "Totally worth the cotton mouth."
"What's that, dear?"
Startled, Sophia turned sharply to see Mrs. Upstein step out of the house and onto the porch. "Ah…nothing…just talking to myself."
Claudia Upstein handed off one of the two cups of cocoa she held in her hands and sat down next to Sophia. They sat in silence, nursing their drinks for a while, before Claudia finally spoke. "You're doing the right thing, Sophia."
Sophia's head nodded of its own volition, a practiced response to the statement that had been repeated to her so many times by so many different people.
Claudia put her weathered hand on her shoulder. Sophia met her calming smile. "You are, Sophia. This thing goes beyond just not wanting to be a werewolf."
The older woman's eyes began to water. Sophia put her mug down and wrapped her arms around her shoulders.
Claudia Upstein had been a pediatrician when she'd met and married a werewolf from Minnesota. They'd had two sets of twins who they'd brought up and raised on pack land and ideals—completely integrated—much to the disgust of most of the pack who looked down their nose at Claudia and her mongrel offspring. Sophia hated the word, but had heard it whispered in reference to herself on countless occasions.
Claudia had thought their flipping would change everything and bring them all closer to the pack. But instead, none of her four sons had survived the ordeal, their human genes unable to cope with the shift in natures.
Her husband had committed suicide after the death of his last remaining heir and Claudia had never forgiven herself. Now she sought to help people in the same predicament her sons had been in—sought to stop the change from happening at all.
Sophia looked her dead in the eye. "I know. I appreciate everything you've done for me, Mrs. Upstein."
Claudia smiled and patted her hand. "Your Dad's here."
Her father's truck pulled to a stop in front of them and she gave a genuine smile at the first sight of him. He'd kept in close contact with her; they'd spoken on the phone almost every night. In truth, they'd spoken more during her stay with Claudia than in the entirety of last year.
She drained the mug of the last of its contents and slung her heavy duffle bag over her shoulder as she got to her unsteady feet. Matt immediately rushed forward and took the bag from her before pulling her into a hug.
The breath hitched in her throat as she tightened her hold on him. "Hey, Daddy."
Matt released her and took a step back; he cupped her face in his hands and smiled as he tilted it from one side to the other—taking in her new hair no doubt.
"You cut your hair."
Suddenly nervous, Sophia ran a hand over the pixie cut and flicked the longer bangs out of her eyes. "I…it was getting too hot during the…episodes."
Matt tweaked her nose. "It looks great. I'll meet you in the car, honey."
Sophia gave Claudia a final hug goodbye and slid into the passenger seat.
She watched surreptitiously as they spoke to each other in lowered tones.
They were deep in conversation about her.
Not long ago, she would of felt slighted about not being included in a conversation that included her well-being. But she was grateful for it now.
She was sick of talking about herself, about how she felt and what she was going through, all necessary questions according to Claudia and the therapy she'd used to much success with other kids like Sophia. So now she was happy for Matt to take the reins and leave her in peace.
Ten minutes later he was in the car and they set off on the seven-hour drive back to Wolf Lake. Silence filled the gap between them. With her head pressed against the window, Sophia watch the snow slowly begin to recede as they move further and further away from the old house in the middle of no where.
Matt found himself checking on her constantly out the corner of his eye. He was unnerved by the change in her. He'd noticed it during their ritual nighttime phone conversations. She'd told him she was fine, that she was doing well all things considering. But she'd sounded so brow beaten.
He'd put it down to the sessions. Restricting the physical flip would have been painful and exhausting; the deadness in her tone could only be expected. But it was the deadness in her eyes now that startled him.
"Do we have to go back?"
Matt hadn't realized just how quiet the car had been until her softly spoken words had sounded off like gunshots. "What do you mean?"
Sophia turned her face toward him, but her eyes skittered off over his shoulder. "Can't we…go somewhere for a while longer."
Matt sighed. He'd considered it. God, had he considered it. Many times over the years he'd thought about up and leaving Wolf Lake. He only lived on the outskirts of the pack, it should be easy to leave completely. If only that were true.
"I'm sorry, Sophia. But we can't leave Wolf Lake. The pack is still too unstable, and I can't leave the townspeople should the pack implode. There's also our own safety to take into account. The pack can protect us should-"
"I'm not a wolf."
Matt sighed. "Well no, not exactly-"
"The pack can't and won't protect me, because I don't need their protection. I'm normal, Dad. I'm just me now."
She was so emphatic that all Matt could bring himself to do was nod. He understood this was a tough time for her. For now he was happy to let her get through it in whatever way she could. But the fact was, she wasn't the same girl that had come to him crying four weeks ago.
You only had to see that she no longer required glasses to figure that out.
"Okay, honey. In a couple of months, during the summer, hopefully when things have settled down, we can just pack up and go somewhere…wherever you want."
Sophia seemed to have lost interest in the conversation and was back to staring pensively out the window.
"Scott Nichols has been asking after you."
She snorted. "Did he want to make sure you'd shipped me off to the nearest psycho ward?"
"No, Sophia, he seemed genuinely concerned."
"I bet. I wonder what part of our first date he liked most. The part where Luke Cates threw him face first across the street or the part where I hip-tossed someone twice my size."
Matt smirked, taking particular liking to the last one. "Guy's like a girl that can take care of themselves."
"Is that why you like Vivian Cates?"
Had he not been paying close attention, the shock of that statement would have had them careening into the nearest ditch. "Excuse me?"
Sophia shrugged. "You hear things."
Agitated, Matt fidgeted in his seat, trying to get comfortable. "People talk too damn much. Vivian is just an old friend, of sorts."
Relieved that her change in subject had taken the focus off her and sent them back into silence, Sophia settled deeper into her seat, closed her eyes and sought the refuge of sleep.
Blood smoldered in her veins. The breath that past her too-dry lips came out in husky pants. Muscles flexed and rippled beneath her too-tight skin. She was going to explode.
Control.
It was all about control.
Her breaths quickened.
Her knuckles turned white as she squeezed the silken sheets beneath her in a deathgrip.
Control.
She was burning up, sweat beaded on her brow from exertion. She whimpered, but it sounded too canine to have come from her. "Oh please, let that not be me," she gasped.
A shadow fell over the bed. Her heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to come out of her chest. A face came out of the darkness.
Deep-set Hazel eyes that saw too much and a sinful mouth that said too little.
She closed her eyes to block him out.
He wasn't real. He shouldn't be here. She wasn't one of them.
"Let go, Sophia."
He was so close, her lips felt the words uttered above them before her ears heard them.
She shook her head to the negative. She couldn't let go, she had to stay in control.
Strong hands framed her face, holding it in place.
"Let go," he whispered. "I promise I'll catch you."
She knew it was coming, but it didn't stop the gasp of surprise when he gently put his soft lips to hers, he used the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth. It was a wicked kiss, full of intent and promise.
Promise.
He didn't know the meaning of the word.
It was nothing but a liar's kiss, but it still made her burn.
His hand's left her face and traveled down her arms. It felt like her blood was following his tracing fingers, leaving sizzling sensation in their wake, it came to a crescendo when he gripped a wrist in each hand and pinned them above her head.
A rumbling growl tore through her and died between their locks mouths.
Control.
He'd stolen it from her and she no longer cared, so long as he continued to lie to her some more. She arched up into him, feeling every inch of his tantalizing form but craving more.
His mouth left hers and she thought she'd die from it. The whimper she emitted seemed to please him. He feathered kisses along her jaw and she moved her head this way and that to give him better access.
"Do you love me, Sophia?"
She closed her eyes, but it didn't stop the tears from sliding down her cheeks. "Yes."
"Even though it's going to kill you?"
Her eyes flashed open, but she wasn't faced with him anymore, a hulking wolf stood in his place. The weight of the bear-sized creature pushed her down into the bed, and then she realized she wasn't on a bed anymore—a forest floor was in its place. The smell of pine filled her nose and the ground felt damp beneath her.
She tried to move, but her muscles were frozen in place. She tried to scream but no sound came out. All she could do was watch in horror as the wolf bared its razor sharp teeth, bit down on her jugular and began to shake her furiously.
"Sophia!" Matt yelled, shaking his prone daughter awake.
Sophia put her hand atop Matt's and blinked the sleep from her eyes. "What?"
"What? I've been trying to wake you for five minutes, I had to check for a pulse just to make sure you weren't dead!" he snapped.
She frowned. "I was dreaming."
Matt slumped back in his seat and sighed. "Must have been some dream. We're home, by the way. Thank god we had all that conversation to break up the monotony of those country back roads, eh?"
Her eyes became guarded. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a sleepy yawn. "I'm sorry, Dad."
Matt shook his head and got out of the car, grabbing her bag from the backseat as he did so. "It's fine, honey. Probably need all the rest you can get before tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?"
"Your first shift back?"
Sophia stopped dead in her tracks and Matt just barely avoided crashing into the back of her. "Dad, I don't-"
"I know what you're going to say, but Claudia said you need to stick to your usual schedule. Normalcy is of the utmost importance. You need to get back on the horse, sitting around the house procrastinating about all this won't do you any good."
"Not even for one day, Dad? There's getting back on the horse and then there's being shoved on it backwards and pushed down a ravine."
Matt was beginning to like riling her. Color returned to her cheeks and her eyes actually focused. He stepped around her, unlocked the door and stepped inside. "You'll thank me one day, I'm sure."
Sophia muttered what he could do with his thanks and trudged in after him.