Here's my new fic :D hope you enjoy.
R&R and make my life worthwhile again.
song is 'goodbye my lover' by james blunt.
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It may be over
But it won't stop there
I am here for you
If you'd care
You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
Love is blind and then I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
I shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted you
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The photos began to take over his coffee table and his mind. Every one of them bore her smiling face- some posed, some not.
Yet one shone through.
Her dark hair spilled over her shoulder, curling and dancing in the breeze. She wore a pale green v-neck tee shirt and jeans, very little makeup. The sun shone over her perfect skin making her look so alive. Her smile was one of natural beauty, in response to the sun and the day spent with him, in his arms. He remembered her exactly that way, laughing as they chased each other across the fields and fed each other until darkness fell.
The years he spent without her with him were the hardest he'd ever endured. He spent every day pretending to himself that he didn't need her with him, that he wasn't jealous when Carter took his place- made her smile like he used to. But after a while nothing would numb the pain except her.
The day Abby crept back into his life was imprinted into his memory so vividly.
It had been a tough day- she'd watched four times as her patients died and she was low. When the baby rolled in he had watched as she took a deep breath. The tiny thing was respiratory arrest, her heart barely beating. Abby battled until she realised the baby was in anaphylactic shock. Right then she looked up into his eyes and he knew she needed his help. Together they brought it under control; brought life back to a baby everyone else had given up on.
She needed comforting, and he was there. For once he was there while Carter was off in Africa, saving lives without them.
He knew at that very point he'd never really stopped loving her, but merely suppressed the feelings like a bad memory. But this was one memory that wasn't bad. In fact it was the sweetest one of all, his memory of true love.
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And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
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"I love you."
"No you don't Luka. You think you do but you don't. You can't."
Her hand swatted away his, her lips turned from the approaching kiss.
"Abby, I can love you. I won't hurt you, I promise." He took her hand and held it to his cheek. "I cannot hurt you, even if I wanted to. You are too perfect."
"Shush, you'll make me cry." She whispered, covering his mouth with hers and turning his knees to pure jelly.
Every one of his memories featured her, every thought was of her, every kiss made for her. All the things he never told her before flourished on his lips. And her smiles grew with every passing day. Soon other things grew and they celebrated the life growing within her. Her laughter took on a richer note, a lower tone. Her voice was often directed to her belly, which progressively enlarged and which brought joy to both their faces.
They didn't find out the sex- surprise was the main excitement. They often sat together late into the night, switching names. They finally chose Robyn Erika for a girl and Daniel Dmitri for a boy. They guessed it would have dark hair since they both did but couldn't decide if it would be green eyed or brown.
They didn't care-they already knew it would be beautiful.
But she also became beautiful. It was as though becoming a mother had brought a new resilience to her, a new direction and purpose. She waddled around the nursery at 2am painting, pulled herself around baby stores til her ankles were fit to burst, but she didn't care- it was for her baby and that was all that mattered.
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I've seen you cry
I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine
And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you.
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Deep down they both knew it was too perfect, too happy. Nothing can ever be that perfect.
The blow came on her last day before she went on maternity leave. It had been a quiet shift, a simple little party with cake and a few presents. Carter had even sent over some little gifts with his well wishes.
He had told her to wait for him in Ike's so they could tidy the lounge and he could finish his shift.
They said she didn't cry and her only words were 'Tell Luka I love him. Take care of her.' No one knew what she meant.
Until their child was delivered- the prettiest baby girl the ER had seen for a long time. Her dark hair was as soft as clouds, her eyes so wide and a pout already on her mouth.
Robyn Erika Abigail Kovac brought a saddened smile to her father's face as he shows her the photos. She smiles and points, asking "Is that my mommy?"
He nods, unable to speak.
"She loved you Robby."
"I know. She tells me in my dreams."
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