Community service… what a shitty punishment he thought to himself, why did he have to get this, still it must have been better than prison, 'he' in question, was 'Elmo' very little else was actually known about him, much less on file, the authorities thought he was an immigrant, but he wasn't he was extremely quiet and had not much desire to stop this habit, where he was stood outside of the community center, he was accompanied by a group of other young offenders, they were all stood leaning against a rail when he arrived, and none of them had thought to talk to each other.
He walked over in his usual manner, which to most would seem quite intimidating, considering he was 6 foot 7 inches tall, the group of young offenders included a local athlete which he actually liked, and knew a bit about, but he would never have guessed that he would be put on the same community service line as him.
Standing next to the athlete was a much smaller guy, and tiny in comparison to Elmo, the small man, did not like the stature of Elmo at all, and gave him some dirty looks, then there was another tall guy, very thin, he had wavy hair, and looked like quite the comedian.
Two girls were next to each other in the lineup after the three guys, the first was a bit larger than the other, but in no way fat, with hair tied back and chewing a piece of gum, like there was no tomorrow, then the tanned girl, who was very hot, Elmo knew there was going to be an interesting story as to why she was here, then lastly there was another bloke that ended the lineup, quite small, a timid looking fellow, Elmo thought that there was much more to him than was apparent.
Elmo was late, so he thought best not to provoke the probation worker should he ask questions, and he went and stood next to the shy looking guy, "Excuse me where have you been, you're five minutes late" asked the probation worker, Elmo pulled out a small letter and gave it to the probation worker, he then read it and said nothing then continued to address the group, then the tall wavy haired guy spoke up, "Sorry but what the hell was that!" he yelled in a northern accent, "He didn't even say anything, what was on the paper?" he demanded, "Never you mind, he's been excused".
"Now as I was saying, you have the chance to prove to society that you're not all that bad" but the tall guy cut him off again, "Yeah, but what if they're right?" he said and nodded to the small guy who failed to look intimidating, "No offence!" and then he continued whilst still pointing at the small guy, "But I'm thinking some people are just born criminals", then the small guy piped up.
"You looking to get stabbed?"
"See my point?"
"I'll rip out your throat and shit down your neck" replied the small man.
Distractions from the group appeared out of nowhere, the tanned girls phone rang, the athlete started moaning, and the chavy girl started talking.
"Hey stop it, all of you!"
Then the small guy and tall guy kicked off.
Elmo calmly put a cigarette in him mouth and walked over, and effortlessly picked them both up by the collars, quite a feat despite the other tall guy was easily over six foot tall.
"Put me down man, before I shank you bruv!" shouted the little chav.
"That's enough, put them both down, or do I have to reference you by name?" said the probation worker
Elmo dropped the both instantly, returned to his place, and sparked up his cigarette, still saying nothing, Jesus these people are stupid, he thought to himself.
After their first confrontation in the first five minutes of even being on community service, the group had been assigned to paint some benched, they finally started to talk to each other though.
The chavy guy got put his head to close to the bench and got some paint on it, Elmo let out a little snort, "Oi yeah, what's so funny? You think you're so tough, bet you won't be laughin' when you got a knife in ya!" yelled the little chav as he stormed towards Elmo, who was slouching against a wall, the chav started to size up to Elmo, who merely stood up straight to reveal that he was at least a foot taller than the chav had initially thought, Elmo pointed towards the cap, "What?" said the chav taking his cap off, "Aww man, I got paint on my cap, this is bullshit, he stormed off kicking a paint bucket on his way.
"So I'm guessing, shoplifting?" at this point Elmo had figured out all of their names apart from the shy guys and the chav who had just stormed off.
"Don't act like you know me, 'cause you don't" the chavy girl whose name was Kelly, replied.
"I'm just making conversation" said Nathan, the tall guy.
"This is a chance to network with other young offenders, we should be swapping tips, brainstorming" he continued.
"come on, what did you do?" he asked her softly.
"This girl called me a slag, so I just got into a fight".
"Was this on the Jeremy Kyle show?"
"No, it was in Argos".
Elmo laughed, and got a dirty look from Kelly.
"You know what you should have done, you should have gotten one of those little pens they have and jabbed it in her eye" said Nathan.
Elmo laughed again.
"What about you?" he said addressing Elmo.
"I don't think he talks" said Simon.
"Woah weird kid, where did you come from?"
"Yeah but he can laugh though" said Kelly.
"Hey weird kid, don't take this the wrong way, but you look like a panty sniffer" said Nathan.
"Do you really not talk?" Kelly asked Elmo.
Elmo just looked at her, and gave a shake of the head.
"I'm not a panty sniffer, I'm not a pervert"
Nathan made some odd sounds resembling specific profanities.
"I tried to burn someone's house down!"
Nathan, gave a whimpered laugh and returned to the bench with Elmo and Kelly.
"So what did you do?" asked Kelly.
"I was done for, er, eating some pick n mix"
"Bollocks"
"Hey how did that happen? You've been here for five minutes, was this you?" asked the probation worker pointing at Elmo, "Because if you think that you can get away with this, you're wrong, I will find a way to enforce you if you disobey" he said whilst trying to keep his composure.
"it was the small guy" said Kelly, then shot Elmo a smile.
Just then a huge storm cloud started to form overhead.
"You're only painting benches, how did you manage to screw that up?"
Nathan was brandishing a huge smile on his face, just then, a gigantic ice rock flew down and smashed into a car, totaling it.
"Oh Jesus" yelled Nathan.
"That's my car" aid the probation worker in disbelief.
"Hah classic" Nathan said whilst laughing.
Then more rocks began to fall.
"Everyone inside now!" ordered the probation worker, everyone started to run, Elmo merely walked along, trying to light a cigarette.
More and more rocks started to fall, narrowly missing the group, they then stopped outside the locked center.
"Shit, it's locked open it!" ordered Curtis.
The probation worker fumbled with the keys, whilst the young offenders offered no help and kept putting the pressure on.
Elmo reappeared and joined them in waiting for the community center to be opened.
"Come on" yelled Nathan.
Elmo laughed again.
"What's so damn funny?" ordered Curtis.
"Open the fucking door!" screamed Alisha
"Don't speak to me like that!" boomed the probation worker.
Then the storm hit, thrashed out with lightening, and left the whole group, lying on the floor.
"We should be dead" said Simon.
"A little reassurance might be nice" replied Nathan.
"Wanker" said the probation worker.
"Did he just call me a wanker?"
"Is everyone alright" the probation worker said as he struggled to get up.
Everyone was recovering from the lightening, except Elmo, who was just lying there.
"Shit, check the big guy" said Alisha.
Elmo's eyes suddenly popped open, and he flipped up with speed and grace, and landed in a combat ready position.
"Calm the fuck down man, we're not under attack or anything!" shouted Nathan
"Maybe we should call it a day" said the probation worker.
"Can we go then? Is that it?" Curtis asked.
"I think there's something wrong with him, he was having a spasm" replied Simon.
"He was probably just faking it! Trying to get some compensation, cheap bastard" replied Nathan,.
"Hey what do you think big guy?" Curtis asked Elmo.
Elmo said nothing and instead started to walk away.
"I see the storm didn't change anything" said Curtis.
"I don't think he was faking it" said Simon.
"And you know all about being… Mental" replied Nathan.
They then realized Elmo had the right idea, and left without waiting for the probation worker to turn up.
Nathan had been evicted out of his house, and had nowhere left to stay, Elmo figured this out when he went into the community center to find Nathan asleep with a bag of his belonging on the upper stairwell of the entrance.
Elmo whistled very loudly, "Ahh what the fuck? I thought you couldn't talk?" Nathan's question was met with silence, "ahh maybe you can't, is it time for community service already?" his question was met with a affirming grunt.
Nathan got up and followed Elmo to the locker room, where he frantically tried to stuff his belongings into the most secure locker there, after a couple of minutes of effort, and a bemused look on Elmo's face, Nathan gave in, "Hey, think you could do better? fancy giving this a go?" Elmo walked up, and punched straight through the bag, and the locker behind it, they were both completely shocked, Elmo had just punched straight through a full metal locker without any effort what so ever, "Holy shit, how did you do that?" he asked, Elmo gave a hum that faintly sounded like, 'I dunno', "Oh well I'll sort this shit out later", come on we'd better see where the others are.
Nathan and Elmo walked around to the other side of the building where they others were, on the side of the wall in big red paint was 'I'm going to kill you!', Elmo let out a small laugh.
"Is this a joke, did one of you do this?" asked Curtis.
Then the probation worker walked up, "Come on guys, get changed, you can start by cleaning this off the wall" Alisha's phone rang, the probation worker snapped, "Right that is it, no ones aloud to take any more calls today, now give me the phone!" and he snatched the phone out of Alisha's hand, and went around the group gathering phones. He came to Nathan, "I'm expecting a call from my mum" and the probation worker snatched the phone from his hands, "ok take a message" said Nathan, the probation worker turned to Elmo, "Do you even have a phone?" Elmo nodded, "Are you going to co-operate and give me the phone?" asked the probation worker, Elmo stopped and thought to himself for about ten seconds, then pulled an old phone from his pocket, "Thank you" said the probation worker, then turned and walked away.
The group were then left to clean up the profane graffiti, and Alisha's had taken the time to top up her tan, "You just relax yeah" said Curtis.
"Someone's just going to write something on there tonight, they make us do these bullshit jobs, they can just suck my dick."
"Nice" Curtis said whilst taking a good look at her chest.
"Oh and feel free to check out my tits" she said in response to him looking.
Kelly suddenly hears Nathans voice inside her head, 'She can't throw me out, she's my mum, I'm homeless how embarrassing', "You know after the storm, did any of yous feel anything weird?" asked Kelly.
"Yeah, I had a strange tingling sensation in my anus" replied Nathan.
Kelly heard Simon's voice in her head this time, 'I should say something, but she'll probably think I'm a freak', Kelly turned to him, "Did you feel weird?" she asked.
"What you don't want to hear about my anus?" interrupted Nathan.
Elmo laughed at this.
"I swear man, that's all you ever do, can you actually talk?" asked Nathan.
Elmo nodded, but said nothing.
Kelly heard Nathan's voice inside her head again 'oh man, I'd shag a chav, get a grip', she didn't like this, and shoved him then stormed off.
The probation worker came up, "Kelly where are you going?"
"Fuck off" she said as he grabbed her by the arms.
"Oh you think you can do whatever you like, no you're powerless here, you bitch"
Kelly head butt him and ran off.
Leaving the probation worker on the floor and quickly getting angrier, he snapped and pulled a nearby railing of the fence, then gave chase.
The group apart from Kelly were now all inside the community center, just chatting, when Nathan asks, "So why exactly are you on community service, we know all apart from you and the big guy?".
"Shit we don't even know the big guys name" said Curtis.
Elmo walked off, and shortly returned with a piece of paper with the name 'Elmo' written on it.
"Elmo, like in sesame street?" asked Curtis with a laugh.
Elmo simply gave him the two finger salute.
"Anyway carry on"
"So I'm going to this party, and I've been drinking, and we get pulled over, and I've already been banned from driving" said Alisha.
"So this cop he hands me the breathalyzer and I'm like, do I suck, or do I blow?" Alisha then starts to suck the bottle of water in her hands, "It's insane I'm totally working it yeah" She then continues to imitate a blow job on this bottle leaving all four guys left with mouths wide open and faces in total concentration, she stops, "Now I don't know if this cop is gay or what, but he tells me, I'm four times over the limit, it was total bullshit, I didn't even want to go to the party"
Kelly then burst through the doors to the community center frantically,
"He's gonna kill us!" she yelled.
"The probation worker has gone mental he's just attacked me!" she continued.
"It's been all weird since the storm hit, I can hear peoples voices in me head, what people are thinking!" she said frantically trying to get the group to believe her.
"Okay, if you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinking now?" Kelly hears Nathan's voice 'this is bullshit'
"You think this is bullshit?" she yelled at him
"Of course I think this is bullshit, you don't need to be a mind reader to know that!" he replied.
"This does sound a bit weird" said Curtis as he walked towards the door.
"No he's out there!" Kelly said as she pushed Curtis back and got violently stabbed in the head, everyone screamed, Elmo ran up to the oncoming berserk probation worker and screamed "TWENTY SIX" and snapped the probation workers neck with a flying leg lock, just then everything froze, except for Curtis, and his heart raced faster, and everything that had just happened, had reversed itself, like he had just turned back time.
"Of course I think this is bull, you don't have to be a mind reader to know that!" said Nathan, just as he had before.
"She's right, she's telling the truth". He yelled.
"This has all happened before, I opened the door, he killed you, you were lying right there you were dead, Elmo ran up and spoke! You shouted twenty six then killed the probation worker"
"What, he spoke?" they all asked except for Kelly.
"Who the fuck is Elmo?"
"The big guy, that Elmo"
Elmo waved sarcastically.
"Elmo I heard you talk, what did you mean by twenty six?"
Elmo said nothing.
"Look man, I know you can talk, so just spit it out already".
Elmo continued to say nothing.
"Fine be silent, either way, he killed Kelly, you spoke and killed him".
"Well this has gone too far" said Nathan, and opened the door, immediately the probation worker charged at him, Nathan closed the door as quickly as he could, "Holy shit, they're right, the probation worker has gone mental" the berserk man then smashed against the door with force.
"Fuck this we need to escape, let's go out the back" yelled Nathan as the group began to run through the corridors, Nathan suddenly slipped and fell on his ass, there was blood dripping from a locker and pooling on the floor.
"Is that blood?"
"Oh Jesus get it off me"
Curtis walked up to the locker and opened it, it was the chavy guy.
They all jumped back in horror.
Curtis reassured Alisha, "don't look at him" he held her arm, then something happened, all of the surface veins on Curtis' body enlarged and he had an uncontrollable lust urge.
"I've gotta' have sex with you right now".
She forced him off of her.
"What the fuck was that?" he asked frantically.
She went to slap him.
"Arr you're so hot, I'm going to bone you right now!"
She pushed him off again.
"What the fuck is happening".
"You said you'd shag her". Said Kelly.
"It only happened when you touched her" said Simon.
She touched Simon's neck, the veins enlarged themselves.
"I'm so hot for you, I've got to fuck you now!".
"You're both sick" said Nathan.
Then the mental probation worker bust through the community centers main doors, everything slowed down, Elmo ran up to the berserker, caught the punch and kicked him in the stomach so hard he flew into the wall, then ran up and punched him straight in the body, but it was no ordinary punch, he had made a hole right through the probation workers now lifeless body, and taken a chunk out of the brick work.
"Twenty Six" he said.
"Holy shit you killed him" said Nathan as he almost cried.
"Holy shit you spoke" said Simon sacredly.
"What? I said he did both of those things but you didn't believe me, wankers". Said Curtis.
"Shit Elmo, you put a hole through both him and the wall, are you feeling alright" said Alisha.
"So what do we do now?" asked Nathan.
"It was self defense, he would have killed us all" replied Simon.
"They won't believe us, its us verses them, they will say that we killed them both, it's down to us to figure it out."
"If there's no body, there's no crime" said Simon helpfully.
"We should bury them under the flyover" he continued.
"Yeah this could work" said Nathan.
"We clean them up a bit, put them I the wheel chairs, and if anyone asks, we're just taking a couple of specials out for a walk."
Twenty minutes later they had arrived and began to dig a hole, "Fuck this is taking too long, we need to speed it up" aid Nathan, un helpfully.
Elmo walked up, put a shovel firmly in the dirt, then punched the hand, it crumpled under his strength but formed a considerably large hole in the ground, big enough for two dead bodies.
"Come on, quickly dump them in".
After they had been fitted nicely into the hole the group just stopped for a moment, then the silence was broken by Nathan, "pretty sure this breaches the terms of my asbo".
"This stays between all of us, no extra attention, nothing, we just act normal and go about our lives."
"Which brings us to the powers" Nathan said.
"All of you have special powers apart from me and Elmo, what the fuck?"
"She can read minds, she can make you horny, he can turn invisible, and he can turn time, where the fuck is my power?" he continued.
"We'll have to find out some other time, keep filling this hole".
The next day the group had gathered for their community service, "So you can actually talk?" Simon asked Elmo, Elmo nodded, "But I'm guessing you prefer not to?"
Elmo nodded again.
Then they were all called into the probation hall, where a strange woman had gathered them here.
"Tony, your previous probation worker, and Gary one of your fellow young offenders has gone missing, if any of you have any information about their whereabouts it would be greatly appreciated"
"I know something" said Nathan.
"Yesterday I went into the toilets and I stumbled upon Tony doing Gay from behind, yelling 'who's your daddy? I'm your daddy, big daddy cool!' so I'm guessing they've run away to continue their illicit homosexual love affair" at this point everyone had turned and looked at Nathan shocked and stunned, "and I have to ask you, in this day and age of intolerance and prejudice, who are we, WHO ARE WE, to condemn them?" Everything went silent for a moment, then Elmo spoke, "Dude what the fuck?", then without another word the probation worker walked off.
The group were sitting on the roof of the community center.
"This is bullshit, I should have one of these powers" said Nathan.
"You can have mine" replied Kelly.
"I definitely didn't sign up for this" said Alisha.
"So what happens now?" asked Curtis.
"Maybe we were meant to have them, like superheroes" replied Simon.
"Superheroes huh" said Nathan.
"I could get used to that" they all rolled their eyes.
"I better get one of these shit powers if Nathan does" said Elmo, and they all laughed.