The Definition of 'Mistake'
By: Shozetsku
Warnings/disclaimer/ Authoress notes:
-YAOI! Very SERIOUS YAOI! NaruSasuNaru threesome. Uke!Sasuke Seme!Naruto. Use of bushin, language, anal and oral sex at the same time. cutting, mentions of suicide, self mutilation.
-I DO NOT OWN!
-Written for saturndragon, who is a really great reviewer and isn't feeling well. Hope you get better soon hun!
The Definition of 'Mistake'
mis·take [mi-steyk noun, verb, -took, -tak·en, -tak·ing.
–noun
an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
a misunderstanding or misconception.
–verb (used with object)
to regard or identify wrongly as something or someone else: I mistook him for the Hokage.
to understand, interpret, or evaluate wrongly; misunderstand; misinterpret.
–verb (used without object)
to be in error.
Sasuke wore arm warmers every day, without fail, regardless of the weather. Kakashi shrugged it off as Sasuke's personal habit and thereby dubbed it none of his business. Sakura thought that it was fashionable and would have copied him but they made her arms look strangely puny and at the same time fat. And at this revelation and the fact that it didn't make Sasuke look that way at all, Sakura's unquestioning puppy love crush grew. Sasuke was very private, at times downright rude, and standoff-ish, making him hard to talk to, let alone get him to talk about himself.
No one questioned his arm warmers, least ways not to his face. But Naruto did. Then again, none of the villagers counted Naruto for anyone anyways.
It was the hottest day of summer, Sakura had abandoned her long, deep red dress and black Bermuda shorts for a pink tank-top like her hair and a pair of baby blue bike shorts that were very airy. Kakashi's summer uniform vest was considerably lighter then the usual one and it was unzipped for once, he wore short sleeves and dark shorts himself. Even Naruto had abandoned his usual orange jump suit for his favorite gray shorts and his white t-shirt with a firey spiral on the front.
Only Sasuke seemed to not have noticed the heat, which rose visibly from the ground and lingered in the air as Team 7 preformed yet another D- rank mission. He wore the same white shorts, widely collared shirt, and arm and leg warmers. Naruto upon seeing him, pronounced him insane, a comment that Sakura couldn't honestly tell Naruto off for saying, but did anyways.
Sasuke noticed with some annoyance that Kakashi had given him the easiest part of their so-called 'mission', which was helping to clean out an old woman's attic. Sasuke was to stay inside and sort everything with the old woman into things that she would keep, throw away and give away to her many relatives. Which meant that as Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura we're hauling boxes in and out of the air-conditioned house into the blazing heat, he stayed inside. He did not need to be coddled, damnit!
Neither Naruto, nor Sakura made a single complaint about Sasuke being the lucky one that got to be in the cool air all day. They didn't want to see Sasuke pass out from sun stroke, and he was inviting it with his choice in wardrobe. Truthfully no one was coddling him, they were just taking his health into consideration.
Half way through their mission the old woman they were helping came out into the front lawn with a tray of iced lemonade and fresh towels. Sasuke followed her carrying a tray of sandwiches and cookies with a sour expression, he'd apparently been roped into helping her cook.
It was then that Naruto saw it. Sasuke's right arm sleeve was wet about a quarter of the way up. Hopefully because he washed his hands before he handled the food. Naruto thought with contentment as he downed the iced lemonade gladly. But it wasn't just that his arm sleeves were wet, it was that now that they were, Naruto could see some of his pale skin tone through the material. And yet, parts of the visible skin, the inner part of his wrist to be precise, were pinkish, even red.
At first this fact meant nothing to him. Then he thought about it some more, and the more he thought the worse and worse his theories became. Finally after the mission, after Sakura had been turned down for an afternoon date with Sasuke, Naruto decided to confront the brunette.
"Sasuke." he said with a firm seriousness that wasn't usually there in his voice, "Where are you going?" it was a voice he only used when he was not kidding around.
"Dinner, then home." Sasuke said, not mincing words, his tone laced with his preemptive annoyance at the blonde. And with that said he began to walk away from Naruto.
"Mind if I join you?" Naruto said, walking to catch up with Sasuke and falling into step beside him. Sasuke glared at the blonde, "Yes." he seethed.
Naruto threw a dirty sidelong look at Sasuke. "Tough."
It was a harsh, silent walk to the restaurant, Naruto and Sasuke ordered their food and stipulated that their tabs were separate. They ate in silence, to Sasuke's relative surprise. And found that when Naruto wasn't talking he was pretty good company. When their meal was done they paid, and left.
"Are you really going to follow me home?" Sasuke snapped. Naruto turned away from the brunette, "That was part of what I didn't want to talk about in the café. Um, see, I kinda got evicted."
"You went and got yourself evicted?" Sasuke asked, his voice deadly calm.
"You make it sound like I meant to do it. I got robbed, during a mission my place got broken into, my rent money got stolen. No one wanted to hear it. So now I guess I'm homeless." Naruto still would not look at the brunette.
The word 'homeless' struck Sasuke like a slap in the face. But he wouldn't let himself be so easily swayed, "And why couldn't you report it to the hokage, ask to stay with Kakashi?"
"You of all people should know that the last thing I would want is pity." Naruto's tone had a bit of a bite to it.
"Still, why me?" Sasuke asked, not giving in.
"You want me to spell it out? Fine." Naruto's tone was most definitely angry now. "First of all, Sakura would turn me away at the door, and if not her, her parents would chase me down the street. I don't think I could live through Kakashi sensei or Iruka sensei's pitying looks. Baa-chan would scoff at me, point to a couch, and throw me a jacket. That I wouldn't mind so much, I might actually be able to deal with that. But Shizune, she'll give me that look; I can't stand that look, I grew up until now without this whole village giving a damn if I lived or died. To have them look at me with pity and concern for their convenience." Naruto gritted his teeth, "I don't need that."
Sasuke just looked at him. "You can have the sofa, save your money up to get your own place again. Till then you're just sleeping on my sofa. I don't need you getting comfy." He looked at Naruto, who finally turned to look at him now, his blazing angry eyes were so foreign to Sasuke, sure he'd seen Naruto angry before but it was always a righteous anger, or frustration. Not the fury he saw in those eyes today.
"You really have a grudge against the village, don't you?" Sasuke asked quietly, Naruto scoffed. "I don't need a village that uses me for convenience, I'll make myself a necessity."
Naruto's dream to become hokage, Sasuke thought, perhaps he might be able to see…
They entered the apartment complex that Sasuke lived in. they walked up the stairs in silence, and as soon as Naruto and Sasuke were safely behind Sasuke's closed and locked door Naruto asked the question that had been burning in his throat for most of the day, "So, what's up with your wrists?"
Sasuke, said nothing but looked nonplussed by the question, "Huh?" but Naruto grabbed Sasuke's wrist and wrenched the arm sleeve up his arm. "This is the other thing I didn't want to talk about in that resturant. This. I'm talking about this. I'm talking about the cuts and blood all up and down your wrists Sasuke." His voice was flat but dangerous. He didn't want to seem like he was making a big deal of his wrists, but to see them clearly he knew he should anyways. "You're not trying to kill yourself, I can tell. You'd know better then slashing across your wrist, you'd know to cut down your wrist."
Sasuke pulled his hand out of Naruto's whose grip was loose. "It's… It's just a mistake."
Naruto did get angry at this. "A mistake?" he hissed "It was a mistake that you cut up your arms over fifty times? It's a mistake that you did this to yourself repeatedly? I can tell you did too, these scars," he pointed to a few, "These are newer, more red, the scabs are fresh. All of this is just a mistake? In exactly how many places have you made this kind of MISTAKE?"
Sasuke said nothing, he pulled off his arm warmers, and leg warmers, he took off his shirt and pulled up the legs of his shorts. All over his body the angry red slash marks adorned his body like some kind of sick modern art.
"How?" Naruto asked quietly, "How can you just call this a mistake. This isn't a mistake Sasuke this is a problem. This is a serious problem. You need to find someone you can trust with this, or find another way. This isn't just a mistake, there's no way you can honestly call it that."
"The definition of mistake," Sasuke stated calmly, "is an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment cause by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge etc. I am making an error in action, opinion, and judgment because I could 'care less.' What I'm doing is a mistake; I shouldn't do it but I can't, I won't stop. This is the way I have survived. But out of curiosity, how did you know about my scars?"
"No offence Sasuke, but who the hell wears arm warmers when it's pushing one oh four outside?" Naruto asked. He sighed, "Do you want to know my mistake?"
"Letting your apartment get broken into?"
"Shut up. I was going to say not noticing sooner," Naruto removed his own jacket lifted his own shirt over his head, and displayed his back to Sasuke, Sasuke saw claw marks all over the boy's back, as though they tried to get everywhere but couldn't quite reach the middle of his back. "I stopped making my mistake, could you let me try to help you to get by without yours?"
"You could never understand the guilt I feel." Sasuke said, already regretting letting the boy into his apartment.
"Like the fact that you breathe is a crime. Like your existence is a hindrance even to yourself, that everything would be better if you just stopped. And not just stopping as in stop trying, but really stopping; stop breathing, stop your heart beating, stop your mind thinking. You pray for the sweetness of oblivion, and yet you know there is still something you have to prove, something you have to do. A final selfishness. It's the only reason we are still alive." Naruto said quietly.
Sasuke looked at Naruto as if truly seeing him. It occurred to him that they were both shirtless in his apartment.
"Maybe we should make a new kind of mistake." Naruto said stepping closer to Sasuke, who was suddenly very aware of the fact that they were alone and shirtless in his apartment. "Na-Naruto…" but whatever is words died before they could reach his mouth, he couldn't even remember what he had wanted to say.
But Naruto knew exactly what he wanted to say, "We've been feeling pain because we thought there was nothing else for us to feel, but what if we could feel needed, wanted, or in some way happy? What if we could do that for each other Sasuke?"
Sasuke's heart panged, it was almost too tempting. "If I eased your pain would you return the favor, Sasuke?" he stepped even closer, Sasuke could practically feel Naruto's radiating aura, it was overwhelming. Naruto put a hand to Sasuke's cheek and let his hot breath fall on Sasuke's neck, raising goose-bumps. "Let's make a new mistake tonight, who knows, maybe time will prove it's not really a mistake after all."
Sasuke put his hands on Naruto's shoulders, "I've never-" but Naruto cut him off, "Me either, you were my first and only kiss." Sasuke recalled that day in the academy and flushed a bit. "Same here."
Naruto pressed his lips to Sasuke's neck; Sasuke gasped, and Naruto grinned at the reaction. "Will you make this mistake with me Sasuke?"
Sasuke nodded; and without further ado hands were combing over scars, feeling, reveling in the unevenness of skin. Naruto was careful about Sasuke's wrists, which seemed to be the only part of him that bore new lacerations. Sasuke's hands roamed from Naruto's hair to his back to his chest and back up to his hair again. Naruto continued to kiss Sasuke's neck and strangled moans desperately tore themselves from Sasuke's throat, though he tried to suppress them. His pants themselves were torture already.
"Let it go Sasuke, let me know I'm easing your pain, tell me that this is making you feel good." Naruto said breaking away from Sasuke's neck to admire the furiously red mark he'd made, "Let me hear you Sasuke."
"Naruto!" but he couldn't manage much more then that, because Naruto had started to kiss and suck around Sasuke's collar bone now, and on reflex his throat tightened, and Naruto could hear it in the tense sounds from the pale boy. So he took one hand and found the pressure point by Sasuke's ear and began to rub in firm but gentle circles. Sasuke's upper body became jelly as all the tension left him and with it there came the sensation of a weight being lifted.
"Oh, oh Naruto... mmm... ah!" Naruto had begun to push against Sasuke and as Sasuke backed up his back eventually found the wall. The wall was like sweet, sweet ice against his back, was it the weather that day or was he just getting overheated from his heart beating soo fast? He couldn't know, and it didn't matter, because it was heaven to his back. Naruto kissed slowly down from Sasuke's collar bone making an unintelligible trail all across Sasuke's chest, and he eventually found Sasuke's belly button. He kissed it, licked it, and then stuck his tongue inside of it and let out a long moan of his own, it reverberated throughout Sasuke's lower body and elicited the most gorgeous sounds Naruto had ever heard.
And then Naruto could no longer ignore Sasuke's clothed erection that had been pushing against him and all but nuzzling his neck and chin. He unbuttoned Sasuke's pants carefully, looking Sasuke dead in the eyes as he did so. Staring into those beautiful, intense orbs was torture as he felt his limits being tested. He cupped a hand to his mouth and looked away, shutting his eyes from the blonde angel at his feet.
As a pair of hands drew his white shorts down his legs with care and proceeded to remove his boxers, another pair of hands gently pried away his own hand from his mouth. His eyes flung themselves open as he gazed from the Naruto that was kneeling in front of him to the Naruto that had appeared at his side. He pushed Sasuke forward, away from the wall and positioned himself in between the wall and the raven haired boy. "What did I say about wanting to hear you? Don't ever think that what you have to say isn't something I want to hear. I want to hear every syllable."
The first Naruto stood up; he grabbed the hand of the Naruto behind Sasuke and began to suck lovingly on his fingers. Sasuke watched, red faced, as he could distinguish Naruto paid special attention to each finger in turn. He heard and felt the moans of the Naruto behind him, he could feel his moans through his back and his erection grew even more painful. Finally Naruto released the Kage Bushin's fingers and stared into Sasuke's eyes, "This is going to feel weird." He said, his lust evident in his husky tones.
Naruto pushed the spit slick finger into Sasuke carefully, slowly, lovingly. Sasuke's hands immediately went to Naruto's shoulders and his nails drew blood there. Naruto never said a word and quite frankly didn't care. Sasuke gritted his teeth and strangled grunts bubbled up from his throat. It did feel weird, but not only that it really kinda HURT!
Naruto began to rub that spot on Sasuke's neck again, "Don't tense up, it'll hurt worse." Again Sasuke felt that wonderful boneless feeling as he collapsed against the Naruto behind him. "Aaa-ahh!" it no longer hurt, but it did feel really good, and true to Naruto's word, it did feel a bit strange.
Naruto took note of a significant look his Bushin gave him and began to stroke Sasuke's penis with his other hand. Sasuke arched into that hand as he felt that finger in his ass and the hand around his cock move at the same rhythm. Then the second finger was added, and this time Sasuke was a bit more prepared for the sensation and was able to feel more the just the initial pain. He became aware of the transition from pain into pleasure and thanks to Naruto's hand stroking the pressure point in his neck he couldn't tense up and the transition happened faster.
Then the fingers began to make scissor like movements inside him, stretching him, hurting him, pleasuring him, it was all so good and so new. When he adjusted to this too the fingers left him and the hand stopped.
"No." he pleaded, his voice broke and sounded so weak and wispy he almost hated it, but if it got them to resume their previous actions it would have been worth it.
"Calm down Sasuke, this next bit is going to take some arranging first." The Naruto in front of him said, kneeling down in front of him again, "It'll be even better then before." The Kage bushin assured him from behind, "I'm going to grab onto your waist, and you put your legs on Naruto's shoulders."
The Naruto kneeling in front of him braced himself for Sasuke's body weight by putting his hands against the wall, "Go on, Sasuke."
"How is it that you seem to know exactly what you're doing Naruto? You said I was your first and only." Sasuke said, finally capable of coherent thought even as he maneuvered himself so he was practically sitting on Naruto's shoulders.
"I helped write and edit Ero-sennin's book, Icha-Icha is a story between men; the cover art is misleading so his readers that don't want to admit their preferences don't have to be so open about it." Naruto chuckled, "I learned a lot about the physics about this stuff from that."
The Naruto standing behind him hugged Sasuke's waist, "Try not to thrust too hard into Naruto's mouth, you might choke him or he might hurt you. Stay loose and relaxed or this won't last very long."
"How the hell am I supposed to do that?" Sasuke asked, a little angrily, the bushin didn't answer, but he did chuckle as he lowered his head to the pressure point in Sasuke's neck.
If he hadn't been supported by the two Naruto's his legs would have given out. Hands tightened around his waist and he felt another pair of hands pulling down the shorts of the blonde behind him, one of the hands at his waist left to help position Naruto's hardened penis to Sasuke's readied entrance. At the moment that the Naruto behind him entered the Naruto in front of him wrapped his mouth around Sasuke's painful erection. With the Naruto in front on him sucking wonderfully on his cock and the Naruto behind him orally torturing the sensitive area on Sasuke's neck there was nothing to muffle the pleasured moans and cries that never ceased to come from Sasuke.
There was a slow rhythm at first, as Naruto gradually took Sasuke into his mouth, trying hard not to use his teeth and to remember how to fight his gag reflex; and the bushin behind him waited for Sasuke to adjust to having been penetrated.
It was all so wonderful and new, and sure it hurt but the pain was worth the ecstasy that followed. Sasuke didn't know whether to impale himself onto Naruto's penis behind him or to throw himself into Naruto's mouth in front of him. He wasn't even aware of the sounds he was making anymore, that he was saying half formed sentences and unintelligible jumbles of syllables.
He wasn't aware that he was begging them to go faster, that he kept calling out to every deity he knew of, that he kept saying Naruto's name like a mantra. He only knew that they were going
"TOO SLOW!"
He barely registered the chuckles as he felt Naruto's hot mouth work faster and suck harder, he reveled in the swift thrusts of the Naruto behind him, some part of his mind taking note that he seemed to be looking for something.
"AAAAHHH!" white flashed before his vision, or maybe it was every color imaginable in the merest instant, "THERE! Oh, GOD! There! Harder, HARDER!"
He didn't know that that was his prostate that was being hit with every thrust; he didn't know that Naruto was laughing around his penis and that was what was causing that beautiful vibrating sensation. He didn't know and he didn't care, he had held on for much longer then he'd ever expected and he knew it wasn't going to be much longer. Sweet release was coming, but these actions that led up to it were soo good he almost didn't want this to end.
He wondered when his hands hand fond their way into the golden locks of the head bobbing at his crotch. He looked down and saw that Naruto had pulled down his own shorts to free his own cock, which he was pumping furiously in time with his and his bushin's ministrations. This sight pushed him over the edge, he came hard into Naruto's mouth, clutching hard at Naruto's hair, forcing the blonde to pump every last drop out of him. His orgasm had caused him to clench around Naruto's erection and cause him to reach his limit as well, he came inside Sasuke and soon after disappeared, causing Sasuke to thud against the wall. Upon the disappearance of the bushin Naruto was thrown over the edge with the sudden appearance of the memories which his bushin had collected. He came hard onto the floor, staining the wood with white.
Sasuke eased himself off of Naruto's shoulders, and slid down the wall to sit down, but as soon as he tried Naruto picked him up bridal style and carried him to the sofa. "I wouldn't put weight on that if I were you, it's going to be tender after all the abuse I just put it through."
"I don't believe that you know all of this just from that old pervert's books." Sasuke said sleepily and without really meaning it.
"Let's sleep now, it's ok to sleep now." He said as he eased the two of them onto the sofa, making sure that Sasuke was on his stomach and on top of him before more fully settling himself down.
Sasuke was asleep before he could even say good night. Naruto chuckled softly to himself as he kissed Sasuke's forehead.
"Maybe it was a mistake not to kiss you this time." He mused at sleep pulled insistently on his eyelids, "Oh well, maybe next time."
OWARI.
Written for saturndragon who is sick and is a very loyal reviewer of mine.
Get better soon Saturn! I hope you liked it!