This was definitely behavior unbecoming a professor. Even a former one. James, wherever you are, I hope you are getting a good laugh out of this. He and Sirius both had infinitely more experience inside Hogwarts broom cupboards than Remus did, and sometimes even for this same reason. The other Marauders had ribbed Remus all through school about his lack of broom cupboard experience. Well, he was getting it now. This was the second time in fact that he had used this particular broom cupboard since graduation.
There were footsteps outside the door and he froze, cursing the fact that he couldn't reach his wand to cast an imperturbable charm. Moody would have his hide if he heard about Remus' lack of CONSTANT VIGILINCE. There just hadn't been time to grab his wand before dashing into the cupboard, and his arm was now entangled with a mop, making it impossible to move without making noise.
Had the footsteps moved on? He held his breath, listening. It was not the footsteps that he could hear now, but a crashing noise from just behind him. That's all I need just now, he thought, a boggart. He was quite certain though, that for once in his life, the boggart would not take the form of the full moon. It was much more likely to take the scarf-draped, overperfumed, decidedly daft, rather amorous, form of one Sibyl Trelawney.
Remus knew better. He knew better than to walk through the halls of Hogwarts without keeping an eye out. The marauders map, confiscated from Harry, had done a fine job of letting him know when it was safe to be out during his stint as a professor. He should have borrowed it from Harry for this trip. Harry wouldn't even have to know it was gone. I could just sneak up to the tower and… this was getting out of hand.
Remus John Lupin, he said sternly to himself, you are an adult. You are a member of the Order of the Phoenix. You transform into a terrifying beast every twenty-eight days. You have faced boggarts, grindylows, vampires, and trolls. You can certainly face one woman.
Another voice spoke up in his head, a slightly whiny voice which, even after all these years, sounded a bit like Peter Pettigrew You can't go out there. She won't leave you alone. She's like the giant squid only handsier. She'll try to drag you off to that tower room of hers and overcome your common sense with that incense and awful tea and then tell you that you will face terrible tragedy soon and isn't that awful and she understands and would you like to go stargazing?
Yet another voice interjected at this point. This one was calmer, a cool breeze of sanity clearing his crowded head. It sounded a bit like Lily. This is ridiculous. Go out there, and meet whatever awaits you. Be a man. He had never been able to say no to Lily.
Detaching himself from the grip of cleaning supplies, Remus opened the door and peered out. He wasn't sure how he would explain his undignified appearance if he met someone, but luckily the corridor was empty. He grabbed his wand, resolving to keep it where he could get to it, and used a series of spells to fix his rumpled and dusty appearance. Then Remus set off for the Headmaster's office, ready for a rushed meeting with Dumbledore and Minerva that they had squeezed in between dinner and the final Gobstones match of the season; Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw. He could hear kids several floors below, heading for the library and their common rooms. He was always tempted when he was here to stop and see some of his old students, but then he would have to explain what he was doing in the castle. And he didn't want to know which of them would now fear him, knowing what he was. Besides, the quicker he could get out of the castle, the less likely he would be seen by—
"Dear Professor Lupin!"
He stopped dead in his tracks, closing his eyes for just a moment to gather his patience. He turned toward her, trying to keep a smile on his lips. "Professor Trelawney! How nice to see you. I would love stay and chat but I have a meeting with the headmaster now, and—"
"Oh, but my dear," she said a on overly-dramatic voice, grabbing his hand "the things I have Forseen! You must allow me to crystal gaze for you!"
Hoping she would release him before he had to extract his had from her grip, he backed away, "I am running rather late, and I really must…."
"How unkind of me! I had forgotten! The inner eye often makes me forget all else! Young Lavendar told me of your fear of the crystal ball; but it is of no importance; tea leaves will do as well for you. You must" here she grabbed his shoulders "allow me to show you what the future holds!"
The strong urge to laugh as she mentioned his fear of crystal balls evaporated as he found himself in the heavily perfumed embrace of Sibyl Trelawney. Words failed him. Desperate, he tried to recall the voice of one of his friends to help, but all he could hear was Sirius laughing his head off. He is certainly the last person I would want to know about this.
I take that back.
Around the corner, apparently heading for the same meeting Remus was, came Nymphadora Tonks.
She froze, apparently shocked. Her eyes widened for a moment, and her jaw dropped. Her hand flew to cover her mouth. Was she that surprised? Suddenly her resemblance to Sirius was striking, and Remus realized that she was laughing.
Sybill was still talking in her misty voice, trying to convince him that the fear of crystal balls was one that could be overcome with familiarity, completely unaware that Tonks was behind her, shoulders shaking with laughter. He met her eyes, hoping the she could read the silent plead in his expression. She nodded, composing herself. The wicked Black family twinkle was in her eye.
"Remus!" Tonks screeched, moving toward them. Trelawney started, pulling away."I'm so glad I caught up with you, darling!" She turned to Trelawney, smiling hugely, "So good of you to keep him busy while I catch up. I am always hopelessly late." She had taken his arm in both of her hands, and was possessively stroking it.
Trelawney looked as though she had been slapped. The misty quality to her voice was gone as she said, "Nymphadora Tonks, how little you have changed."
"Oh, but I hardly recognized you, Professor! I didn't realize it had been so many years. You'll have to excuse us now, we have other places to be." She steered Remus in the other direction and sent a little wave behind them.
They had gone a couple of steps when he heard a decidedly un-mystical shriek. He turned it time so see several scarves whipping behind her as she ran down the corridor.
Tonks still had his arm, and was laughing again.
"Tonks. What did you do?"
"I used the bat bogey hex. Ginny taught me." She was laughing so hard now that she was using Remus' arm to hold her up. "I've been wanting to do that for years."