Summary: Syaoran have doubts of Sakura's affection for him. Will they break it off because of his jealousy?
'Sometimes I wonder if she were ever over Yukito' I, Syaoran Li, asked thin air as I watch my girlfriend, Sakura Kinomoto, drag her ex-crush, Yukito Tsukishiro, into a crowded place where another festival was held.
'I know that she loves me mostly, but every time she sees Yukito...I feel so left out. I know it seems selfish of me to think that way because Sakura is always like that. Yet something inside of me stirred. It's kind of like the feeling Tomoyo gets if she ever hear the name 'Kaho Mizuki'. Eriol Hiiragizawa, my baka ancestor, and Tomoyo Daidouji, Sakura's best friend, had been dating as long as Sakura and I. Yet she always shows a sour face if that name is mention, because Kaho was Eriol's ex-fiancée and all.'
"Syaoran are you coming?' I snapped out of my trance. Looking up I saw my beautiful goddess looking at me with so much concern that then I feel bad for thinking ways of her still being 'in love' with her brother's best friend.
I nodded quietly, once I did Sakura kissed me on the cheeks and ran back to Yukito. 'Why doesn't she even wait for me to go with her? Why doesn't she drag me to see the beautiful scenes of the festival?' I asked myself with anger building up.
'I fully admit that I, Syaoran Li, was jealous. I was jealous to the fact that Sakura's first crush had not been me. I am jealous of the fact that Sakura's idea of her first love was not I. I am jealous and envious of a person that did not like or love Sakura that way.'
My brain whirled with bitterness as I try catching up with Sakura and Yukito. Once I caught a sight of them I thought I had died. Yukito was putting a clip on my Sakura's hair and then admiring it like she was his. I felt like ripping out every piece of him, but contained myself for Sakura. Everything I do is for her, and yet she seems to enjoy Yukito's company better.
Sakura caught sight of me and waved me to come over there. I walked over there slowly not caring if it would take a million years. Questions of uncertain filled up my mind. 'Maybe Sakura and Yukito were having an affair' 'Maybe they...' I couldn't think straight. I felt sorrow for myself, I felt pity. As I was closer to them Sakura ran to me and gave me a bear hug like she knew what I was thinking.
I hugged her back hoping she would never let go. Then again I remembered the phrase 'All good thing must come to an end'...At the point she had already left my embrace. Instead she took my left hand and clasped with her right. I smiled one of those very rare ones. The smiles that I always somehow have for Sakura.
We walked to where Yukito was waiting for us and I was happy, in bliss, when Sakura did not grab Yukito's hand with her free one. I felt that I could have screamed at him saying 'Ha she is holding on to me not you', but then I once again felt bad.
This time it was because Yukito or shall I say Yue. They both had helped us get together in a weird sense and here I was wanting to hurt him because he is showing a brotherly love to Sakura. 'Or is it?' Another part wondered. I shook that thought off my head in an instant, but it still lingered. Haunting me.
The festival had ended and I was still glad that Sakura had not went back into the arms of Yukito the rest of the night. It made me jump with joy even if Yukito looked a little bit hurt. We are now walking towards the Kinomoto residence where Sakura lives. Yukito had to leave a little earlier...Thank you God.
I remember my green-eyed goddess telling me about Yukito's love for her brother, but now I wonder is it because he knew that they could never be? Then again they could be, if Yukito had returned Sakura's feelings for him.
Sakura stopped walking suddenly startling me as I was still holding her hand. I turned around looking at her in a questioning way. "Sakura? What is wrong?" I asked in such an emotional way. I would have never sounded at all like that or look this happy if Sakura did not teach me to love and enjoy my life.
"Syaoran..." She began. The suspense was killing me. 'Was it because she want to break up with me? The face she had on I only see if it was something as serious. I looked at her uncertainly. I was scared for the love I have for her. 'Could be that she knew I was thinking thoughts of her and Yukito and now she is going to tell me the truth. About them being in love...'
Suddenly it seemed that I had heard my own heart broke not into two pieces, but trillions. The thought of it all had shattered my hearts core, my soul. 'If the thought of it could bring such pain...What would happen if she actually said it put loud? If it was all true'
I waited and waited for her to continue, but it seemed that she too was in a trance. The silence was deafening to the ears. We standed there until she continued...
"Syaoran I know that you worry about me and Yukito being together." I for one was shocked at how she could notice such things because she had never notice the way I look at her when she didn't know. She never would have known that I was madly and painfully in love with her if I had not said it. Now here she was confronting me about a habit I picked up...Jealousy.
She continued. "I have told you a thousand times that Yukito and I are friends and that he loves my brother mostly, but that just doesn't seem to stick through does it? Do you not trust me? Do you not trust Yukito? One of them that had knew we were meant to be and helped us together?" She asked in a sad quit voice.
'Her heart was breaking because I didn't trust her.' I felt so ashamed for feeling that way.
"How did you...?' I began once again, but she cut me off.
"I just do. It is because it's you Syaoran. Besides from the fact that one time I tried to reach for Yukito's hand and you yanked me away." She said with tears coming out.
I didn't know which one was worst. The feeling or idea of Sakura leaving me for Yukito or the idea of her crying her eyes out because of me. Either way it was the worst feeling I had felt since the day I found out that Sakura might have to give up all the emotions of love to capture the Void.
I pulled her into a hug. I whispered 'I'm sorry' for who knows how many times. I kissed her cheek and wiped her tears.
"I know I shouldn't be jealous of Yukito, but it's a feeling I get for loving you too much. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way I shouldn't have." I whispered into her ear.
She pulled away. I pray to God she would give me another chance. With both of her hands she cupped my face. "I love you so much Syaoran. I love you so much that it hurts that you don't trust my love for you. I am only spending time with Yukito because he is going away to collage soon and I won't be able to see him. I bet you are going to think 'You don't spend that much time with your own brother'. It's true I don't, but it's because Yukito understands and accepts my feelings, my emotions for you. To make you understand I'll show you..." She trailed off.
'I wonder what she meant by that. How can she...?' I stopped dead in my tracks. 'We are only twelve' I thought in a panic. 'Sakura is too innocent to think of having sex...Isn't she?' The thought made me blush.
"Syaoran I was thinking maybe we could head to your apartment. To prove my love to you we could sleep in each other's arms and you won't have to let me go until forever." Sakura said nervously, but yet I felt her aura. She was wishing to be with me to be close to me. I smiled at her.
'I am so deeply in love with the Cherry Blossom standing next to me and the idea of sleeping in each other arms without bed exercise seems so perfect and beautiful.' I couldn't help, but pull Sakura into another hug and a kiss on the lips this time.
Together, her, and I, we headed for the apartment where we will spend tonight sleeping content in each other's arms. The doubts I had for her and the doubts I have for Yukito disappeared into thin air as fast as the wind blows sand.
'So lucky that Meiling had moved to stay with Tomoyo and that Wei had gone back to Hong Kong.'
Sakura's Point Of View
Here I lie in the arms of my love...Together we will be...Forever and more.
End
Started July 21st, 2002 at 7:30 pm
Finished July 21st, 2002 at 9:00 pm
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS
Reloaded June 16th, 2005