Rating: T

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Summary: This is part of a three-way series called Anthony's Angels. It consists of Guardian Angel Caitlyn Todd, Guardian Angel Paula Cassidy and Guardian Angel Jenny Shepard. Every chapter in each series will be a stand -alone piece. A very brief précis of the trilogy series is that each of the former NCIS Agents have been appointed as Guardian Angels and been assigned to protect Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo because he is such a trouble magnet that he requires more supervision than the average mortal. The three former agents are chosen first and foremost for their prior connection to him, although other factors are also in play and will be revealed over time.

Angel Author's Note: This report is to the best of my ability and recollection, an accurate account of what occurred after Ari Haswari, decided to take my life to torture my boss Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. My opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the Guardian Angel Committee here at GA Central.

Anthony's Angels

Former Special Agent Caitlyn Todd

Chapter 1: Lights Out

I remember taking a round in my Kevlar vest when I dived in front of a bullet. I was trying to protect Gibbs from the terrorists who were attempting to blow up a crowded pier, which was full to the brim with service personnel, along their loved ones who turned out to greet them as they arrived back from the Gulf. A soft target that could have caused maximum casualties.1

I also remember Tony and Gibbs had to help me to my feet, with the relief that comes from the aftermath of an adrenaline rush. My legs had turned to jelly and I was winded, because while a vest can stop a bullet, being shot still packs an enormous punch. It felt like a thousand Gibbses had Marine-slammed me in the chest, and I knew I was going to have one heck of a bruise and maybe a cracked rib or two. Tony and Gibbs, once they found that I was okay and had set me back on my feet again, engaged with me in the sort of banter that law enforcement professions carry on with, which comes of walking too close to death, too often. The next thing I remember is a searing pain to my head and then… nothingness.

When I woke up, I found a friendly face smiling at me. Special Agent Chris Pacci was watching me with his familiar grin, although there had to be something wrong here. Pacci had been killed while working on a cold case. I had worked his murder with Tony and Gibbs, so how could he be here smiling down on me unless... His eyes clouded over when he saw the realisation dawning on my face, as I sprang up and looked all around. It had to be some sort of mistake, some nightmare or a hallucination. The alternative was unthinkable! Pacci continued to watch me with a sympathetic expression on his face, before finally speaking gently.

"It's really, really good to see you, Cate, although I'm sorry it has to be under these circumstances."

"I'm dead aren't I, Chris?" I asked fearfully.

"I'm so sorry, Cate. I'm afraid you are and I've been here waiting for you for a while now."

He smiled at my puzzlement and told me he would explain everything soon, as well as answer any questions I had. He explained that when someone was killed violently or when their death was unanticipated, The Powers That Be always made sure that there was a friendly face, or at least someone else who had a similar experience, to help them through the aftermath of the Probie's death.

Chris smiled and said, "I fit the bill on both of those scores, so I was co-opted to be your guide."

I nodded, but focused on something that he had said. "So are you saying I'm a Probie? What sort of Probie? I was a Secret Service Agent before becoming a Special Agent with NCIS. I ... am... not... a...Probie," I exclaimed and even to my own ears, I sounded petulant.

"Yes, Cate, you are now a Probationary Guardian Angel. Every newly ascended soul has to serve a probationary period before they are granted permanent residency status. Good law enforcement personnel are much sought after as Guardian Angels, and it is considered to be the most plumb of jobs up here. Some of the less glamorous jobs that Probies are assigned to when they first arrive... well, they aren't so great."

Chris looked at me to see how I was handling the information, knowing that it was all a lot to take in at once. Unfortunately, he had a lot more to share with me and some of it would not be easy to hear.2

In the meantime, I watched the complex array of emotions play over Chris's familiar face. Somehow, I could tell that he had information to impart that I probably wouldn't want to hear. Thanks to my training as an investigator, courtesy of team Gibbs, I knew that there was something pretty big that he wasn't telling me. So, I decided to make it easy on him and just ask.

"Okay Chris, I can tell there's more that you have to tell me, but don't want to. Whatever it is, I can handle it. I'm a Federal Agent... I mean I was a Federal Agent. Give it to me straight."

So he told me all of it, how Tim, Abby and I were all supposed to die at the hand of Ari, but how Tony's heroism had been deemed by The Powers That Be to be rewarded by sparing Abby and McGee, but not me. That I had been chosen as the one to pay the ultimate debt because I had had the chance to kill Ari and prevent it from happening, but I had hesitated. Despite my training, I had been taken in by the expression in Ari's eyes and he had managed to escape, to wreak havoc on innocent victims.3

I must say that it was a lot to take in; that I was supposed to arrive here yesterday, and that I should have had company. Although I'm glad that Tim and Abby's lives were saved, I am still sad that I have had to leave my family and my team behind. Still, all of us in law enforcement accept that we may be called upon to sacrifice our life whenever we are on duty. It was obviously my time, and thanks to Tony, I got to spend another day with my team and helped keep Gibbs safe from Ari. When it came to Ari and getting shot, I owed the boss that much!

Almost as if he could tell what I had been thinking, Chris smiled and said, "There are some people that want to thank you for watching Gibbs' six and making him take care of himself. You'll meet them soon, but first let me show you the office and brief you on your mortal. Come on."

Pacci strode away from the room that I had awakened in. He explained that there are numerous arrival rooms when Probie GA's disembark after dying. As it can be an overwhelming experience, it was thought to be less stressful to arrive with just one familiar face to smooth the way and show Probies the ropes. Then he showed me the office, which didn't look all that much different from the bull pen back at NCIS, except for the absence of that dang-awful, burnt orange colour; something I won't be missing, I decided ruefully. The office was white and light-filled and the glass-like ceiling made it possible to see the bright cerulean blue that reminded me of the boss's impossibly blue eyes. I glanced around at all the desks and devices that looked a bit like a computer, but not exactly, that were kind of hovering above the desks. Chris stopped in front of one desk that was shared by a beautiful young red-headed woman and a brown-haired, blue-eyed smiling little girl.

They both looked up at our approach and smiled. The little girl ran up to me and hugged me squealing, "Cate ... Cate, you're here! You watched my Daddy's six, I love you sooo much."

I looked over at the woman who held out her hand for me to shake and said, "Caitlyn, we've been looking forward to meeting you finally, although I'm sorry for your sake that it had to be now and under these circumstances." She looked at me with sorrow-filled eyes, no doubt aware I had drawn the short straw." My name is Shannon Gibbs, Jethro is my husband and this is Kelly, our daughter."

I was shocked. "Jethro had a daughter? I know he had three wives, but he never mentioned being a father."

"I know, he doesn't speak of us because it hurts him too much. Jethro has been married four times, although he only has three ex-wives," she explained sadly. "I know that he mightn't act like it, but your team has become like a family to him, so thankfully, he has stopped his constant marriages, trying to fill the void that our death wrought on him. Thank you for helping him to heal, Cate. In some ways you and Abby have become surrogate daughters to him. He is going to take your loss very hard, I'm afraid."

Shannon looked very concerned, but then shook herself slightly and said, "We are looking forward to working closely with you and your mortal. We often needed to work closely with his former GAs. He and Jethro are a full time job, that's for sure."

I looked from Chris to Shannon and he smiled and said, "I haven't got around to reading Cate in on who she will be watching over yet, Shannon." He looked at me and grinned. "I sure hope you're up for a challenge, Cate, 'cause he won't be an easy one to watch over. He has already gone through a surfeit of GAs who end up taking stress leave, but we're hoping you will have a bit more stamina. After all, you did protect the president."

I was starting to feel pretty queasy now about who my mortal was going to be. Why would they give such a raw recruit such a challenging case, when I was just a Probationary Guardian Angel? Pacci was watching my silent speculation with a bit of a smirk, and decided to put me out of my misery.

"Cate, meet your mortal that you have been charged with watching over and protecting," And he summoned up a screen with a flourish and flicked his hand and a very familiar smile beamed out at me.

"DiNozzo's the one I have to watch over? No wonder you have had so many GAs. He is the most annoying person I've ever met and you want me to watch over him?" I ranted totally exasperated. "Why are you guys trying to punish me with a misogynistic, juvenile, skirt chasing jock? What deadly sin did I commit to get this penance? Are you sure that I'm not in purgatory, Chris?"

"That's right, Cate, I'd forgotten you're a Catholic, aren't you?" He smirked, not answering my half serious but utterly snarky comment. "I need you to study Tony's dossier and then we'll talk."

He leaned across and explained that their memory device was a bit like a computer, but that it could replay pivotal experiences in a mortal's existence with one very significant difference. It also had sensory and emotive components that allowed GAs who were viewing the memories to experience exactly what their mortals had experienced over the course of their lives. In other words, thoughts, emotions and perceptions were all able to be accessed in real time by a Guardian Angel as they reviewed memories. Talk about voyeurism!

I could almost hear Tony quipping, "Oh, peachy, we have sens-o-vision and feel-a-vision... can hardly wait."

Chris explained that you only needed to think about whatever it is you want to know; that you could jump forward and back in time, too. Although this was a fascinating concept and I was curious to see it in action, I was still extremely irritated by the prospect of having to watch out for DiNozzo, let alone watch Dinozzo's life history of drinking contests, conquests and frat boy behaviour combined with his privileged childhood. I was thinking about polo parties, dressage, elocution lessons and debutante balls; although a small voice reminded me that a small boy trailing around with a poo bucket at historic re-enactments didn't exactly fit my idea of an idyllic childhood, if it was true. He'd shared that little gem during a long and boring stake-out but I'd figured he been joking or exaggerating. Then again, all of his stories about his childhood sounded utterly implausible.

"Chris, I'm a trained profiler. I've worked with DiNozzo for two years now. That is more than enough time to learn everything there is to know about him. He never shuts up, after all, and it's not like he is that complex, even. He's a jock for Pete's sake," I whined petulantly.

Pacci eyed me speculatively, eyebrows raised before saying mildly, "Can you please just humour me, Cate? Call it a favour to an old friend. I'm sure that you'll find a few things that you didn't know about Tony, and it's important to know as much as you can about the mortal you're assigned to watch over in order to do the job properly," He lectured me seriously. "It might surprise you to know that Tony has been deeply traumatised by your death and he is feeling incredibly guilty that he couldn't save your life. His grief and guilt are going to stay with him for a very long time."

He strode off without saying another word, and I saw Shannon and Kelly smiling across at me as I sat down rather gingerly at my new desk.

I decided to check out what Chris had just told me about Tony. It was kind of flattering to think that he was affected by my death, and anyway, working backwards through his file was just as valid as starting at the beginning. I thought about my death, which was quite strange, because I still had difficulty accepting that I was dead. I mean, I didn't feel dead. All at once I was overwhelmed by a rush of pain that stole my breath away and made it difficult for me to breathe, although I realised that I was actually just experiencing Tony's pain.

As I adapted a little, I was able to differentiate individual emotions, such as crushing guilt like I have never before experienced, and a white hot fury that was all consuming. I was shocked that the juvenile class clown that I knew could feel such intense and destructive emotions. I would never have believed it, and it scared me more than I cared to admit. His fury, in particular, was more consistent with what I imagined that Gibbs was capable of, having been on the wrong end of it often enough, especially when a child had been hurt or killed. Or after Ari shot poor Gerald and held us hostage before compounding the insult and placing a bullet into Gibbs' shoulder.

Curious to learn what had happened to Abby, who had been my best friend since joining NCIS two years ago, I mentally asked the question. I saw how Tony had gone straight to the lab when he got back to check on his friend, knowing how upset she must be, and found her conversing with a Goth-like apparition of me that Abby's subconscious had dredged up. Seriously, Abbs, a peroxide blonde?

Tony had approached her cautiously at first, like you might an injured wild animal or a terrified child. Slowly and with infinite care and love for his friend, he stilled her hyperactive ranting before finally enveloping her in a fierce hug as she cried out her pain and grief at losing me. To my surprise, Tony, the frat boy, was attempting to surround Abby with a protective blanket of empathy and love, even while he tried to absorb some of her overwhelming grief. While he didn't seem to be aware of what he was doing, at least consciously, nevertheless that was what happening.

Abby seemed to calm and find her centre, before Tony stilled momentarily as his acute senses picked up the most minute of changes in the environment. He pushed her down on the floor and completely covered her with his large lanky frame, before dragging her to safety as bullets exploded in the normally ordered world of Abby's lab, as Ari attempted to kill Gibbs' other surrogate daughter, too. This was the Senior Field Agent that I knew well. Fearless and cool under pressure, except that while he seemed outwardly calm and focused, his dark and terrible anger was so extreme that I felt that my head was going to explode. I had to stop, get up and move around. Shannon took one look at me and smiled knowingly.

"Let me guess, Cate, you got a taste of Tony's anger? He is such an intense man with strong emotions; it takes it out of you when you aren't used to actually experiencing it. It's very different from simply seeing it," She sympathised. "Just go slow or you'll burn out like the others. At least you know Tony, so that should help. You'll be prepared."

While I appreciated her words of encouragement, I felt too embarrassed to admit that I had absolutely no idea that Tony had such a dark and consuming side to his personality. After all I am a profiler, so why didn't I pick up on these traits in my partner. I began to seriously wonder if I was up for this.

End Notes

Amphibious Armed Strike Force was returning from deployment from the Gulf. The USS Kennedy was part of the fleet and Special Agent Paula Cassidy was on board and DiNozzo was planning on hooking up with her that weekend before my death changed all that. Gibbs had looked seriously peeved when Tony revealed in the car on the way to stop the terrorists that they were still seeing other, although I thought it was sweet because they were cute together.

2. Chris told me later that he was wondering how to tell me that I was actually meant to die 30 hours before I finally did and that that my probie partner, Tim McGee, was also supposed to die as well? How did he explain that our destiny had been forever changed when Tony DiNozzo had chosen to return to work a week earlier than he should have, after surviving the plague and saved the lives of his two partners? Tell me that by his choice, he was also able to save the Forensic Scientist, Abby Scuito, who was also my best friend, from being killed by a bullet? That even though DiNozzo had managed to save three of his team, The Powers That Be had insisted that while he should be rewarded for his sacrifice and courage for placing his own life in mortal danger, at least one life must still be lost to balance up the ledger. He said he wanted to know how he could he tell me that out of the three people that were supposed to die, I had been the one deemed to be the one to pay the ultimate sacrifice? That out of a choice between McGee, Scuito and me, Cate Todd, I was chosen because I had had within my grasp the power to save my own life and many others months ago when I had the opportunity to kill Ari and had hesitated?

from getting Gibbs shot in the shoulder during that wretched hostage situation, Ducky's assistant, Gerald, had been seriously wounded and ended up with a permanent disability. He never managed to resume his duties at NCIS, which increased my guilt that I hadn't followed that oft quoted Latin adage – carpe diem- when I had a chance. Ari suckered me, which was pretty dang embarrassing to a professional profiler.