Author's note: Another Chen-centric story from me and I am not apologising. I love the boy and will not stop supporting him. He will always be my favourite cute and whiny member of the best K-pop group in this universe.
Warning: I do apologise for any spelling, grammatical and translation errors.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story. I definitely do not own any of the EXO members.
SM Entertainment waiting room...
Jongdae rubbed his hands together nervously as he waited to be introduced to his new teammates. They would be training together until the company decides who will be joining the team permanently. In the room was another young man; Chinhwa. The man was tall and handsome. He had a strong jawline and intense deep-set eyes. Chinhwa didn't need to say a word to be intimidating. Jongdae felt small. He was so nervous; his palms were getting sweaty. He wished he had Chinhwa's confidence. He looked so relaxed as he read the magazine while he waited. Jongdae couldn't even get his mind to work in order to read. He jolted when the door opened. A young receptionist bowed, "Hello, I'm here to take you to meet your other team members." Jongdae bowed back, politely while Chinhwa stood and put his hands in his pockets, waiting expectantly.
Jongdae walked behind Chinhwa as they followed the girl to another room. She opened the door and gestured for them to enter. Again, Jongdae bowed, thanking the receptionist before she left. When he closed the door and turned to the team, Chinhwa was already chatting and laughing with two boys who look quite young. Jongdae wondered how he already made introductions. He looked around at the men in the room. They were a good-looking group. All of them looked confident and relaxed. They looked everything that he didn't feel. One of the them walked up to him. He had a kind face. "Aniyeonghaesayo! Junmyeon imnida."
Jongdae looked down at the hand that was held out, "A…an…an…" Jongdae wiped his hand against his jeans before taking the man's hand. He took a breath, "Aniyeonghaesayo, hy…hyung." He mentally smacked himself for not controlling his stutter better but nerves always made it worse.
Junmyeon smiled at him kindly, "No need to be nervous. We're all pretty friendly here. I'll introduce you to the others." Jongdae gave him a nervous smiled and nodded his thanks.
Kris Wu was the first he was introduced to and the tall Chinese-Canadian made him even more nervous with his exceptionally good looks. Luhan was another tall member. Jongdae wondered how his eyes could sparkle like that. He sighed inwardly at the next member, another tall and charming looking boy, Tao. Chanyeol was next, then Jongin and Sehun, who were the two Chinhwa was talking to. Why were they all so tall and good looking? Jongdae almost sighed in relief when he was introduced to Yixing. Yixing had an innocent and caring aura about him. Kyungsoo was quiet as well but he had a confidence about him. Baekhyun was the other newest member. He only joined them a couple of days ago. He had a friendly smile and talked a lot. Jongdae wished he was like him more. The last member was Minseok. He looked young but Jongdae could tell he was older. Something about the way he introduced himself, told Jongdae he was probably the eldest in the group.
"Welcome to our team. Did you want a cup of coffee?" Minseok offered.
Chen shook his head, "I…I can ggget it myself. Thank…you…hhyung."
Minseok grinned, "You're the first one to guess that I'm older. Nobody else used honorifics with me until our manager told them they were being rude. How did you know?"
Everyone turned to Jongdae, waiting for an answer. Jongdae was about to answer when Chinhwa spoke for him, "He's been calling everyone hyung and noona all morning. He's just playing it safe."
Minseok gave Chinhwa a polite smile before turning back to Jongdae, "Well, I didn't hear you call Sehun or Jongin hyung, so I'm guess that's not entirely true."
Jongdae gave him an awkward smile and just shrugged, "It…it was aaa…guess." Not knowing what else to say, Jongdae quickly walked away from everyone's attention to get a glass of water. It wasn't the best start to his career and he knew it could very well be short-lived if he didn't get himself together.
Chinhwa didn't like Jongdae. It wasn't just because they were in competition for this last place. He believed he was better than Jongdae. Chinhwa was the second son of the CEO of a tech company. He used his position to get information on Jongdae. Jongdae came from a common family. Nothing special. Chinhwa hated that he had to compete with a commoner for this spot on the team. He wasn't going to lose and he was willing to do anything to win.
A month later…
Jongdae listened to the team talk about him in their change room. They didn't know he was there. They were getting ready to head back to the dorm after a day of dancing and recording. It didn't go well in the recording studio. Singing was when he was at his best, when he could be someone else but the boys were expecting so much of him. Chinhwa had told them all how amazing his voice was and so the others had high expectations. It was bad enough that Chinhwa kept pointing out how clumsy he was with dancing but he had made him so nervous before recording that he missed so many notes. He could see how disappointed the team was. Jongdae knew he wouldn't be staying on the team but he wasn't expecting to hear what the team thought of him.
"Where did you hear that he was a good singer?" Chanyeol asked Chinhwa.
"A lot of our sunbaes were talking about him. They spoke so highly of his voice, I thought it had to be true. Who'd have thought?" Chinhwa answered him, shrugging.
"I don't understand why the company would get you two to compete for this last position. It seems pretty clear you should get it." Sehun told Chinhwa. The two had hit it off pretty quickly, along with Jongin, Chanyeol and Baekhyun.
"Yeah, it seems a waste of time. He's not a great dancer and now we know he can't even sing. Not to mention he can't really talk either." Chinhwa shrugged, "But what can I do, except prove myself."
"Well, you have, so don't worry. If they ask for our opinion, you have our vote." Baekhyun told him.
"Thanks guys." Chinhwa grabbed his bag and followed them out the door but not before smirk at the feet he saw in one of the showers. He knew Jongdae was there all along. This was just another way of getting Jongdae to quit.
Jongdae stepped out of the shower after he was sure they were gone. He went to his locker and slammed his hand against it. Tears ran down his face as he thought about losing this opportunity. He didn't understand why he let what everyone thought get to him. Singing was supposed to be his escape. It was supposed to be his safe place. It transported him to another place, another time, another person. This was his chance to prove that he belonged here. Why did it have to be so hard?
His phone rang.
Jongdae looked at the caller I.D; mum. He took a deep breath and smiled before answering the phone, "Umma!" Jongdae had to cover his mouth as his mum asked him if he was happy and ate well, if he was making friends and that he could come home any time. "My team is amazing, mum. They treat me very well. I'm fine. Kyungsoo is a very good cook and Minseok and Yixing hyung takes care of everyone. Junmyeon hyung is a great leader. I play sports with Luhan. He's really good. Kris and Tao are teaching me Chinese and I muck around with Baekhyun and Chanyeol. Sehun and Jongin like to go out at night, so I go with them just to watch them. They're all really good to me, mum, so you don't need to worry."
Jongdae didn't know that Minseok and Luhan were outside. They were about to walk into the change room when they heard Jongdae talking to him mum. They were shocked at how fluently he spoke. "How come he's not stuttering?" Luhan whispered.
Minseok shook his head, "I don't know but it would explain why the company is considering him. Maybe he is really good but is just too nervous."
"We're training to be idols. He can't let nerves get the better of him." Luhan shook his head. This industry wasn't the place for people like Jongdae. "The others think we're not debuting because of him and I think they're right."
"The company won't delay our debut because of one person. He must be good." Minseok really liked Jongdae and listening to Jongdae tell his mum about each of them made him like him more. "Let it play out." They waited until they heard Jongdae hang up the phone before walking in.
Jongdae jumped when he heard the door. "Hi Jongdae." Minseok smiled at him, "Are you ready to go already?"
Jongdae shook his head, "I…I…I'm going to practice…dancing for a little…bit longer…" He hated himself for stuttering again and quickly grabbed his bag, rushing out the door.
Luhan just shook his head at the boy.
"Give him time, Luhan. We're all trainees and have a lot of pressure on us. This must be so much worse for him." Minseok gave Luhan's shoulder a squeeze.
"How much time do we have? I want to debut. This is the closest I've gotten!" Luhan wanted to pull his hair out, "He just got here. He has time but we don't have that much!"
"We're young, Luhan!" Minseok laughed, "You're talking like you have terminal cancer. Just let it be. Things will work out."
Luhan wished he felt as confident about this as Minseok did.
A couple of nights later…
Chanyeol, Jongin, Sehun, Chinhwa and Jongdae were having drinks at a bar. Jongdae sat quietly and a little away from the others, letting them enjoy the night without disturbing them. He came out because he worried they would drink too much or miss curfew. The younger members tended to lose track of time.
Jongdae looked at his watch. It was 12.15 am. They would be cutting it close if they didn't leave soon. He got up and tapped Chanyeol on the shoulder. Chanyeol was the oldest member there. Jongdae showed Chanyeol his watch, indicating the time.
Chanyeol looked up at Jongdae, annoyed that he was interrupting their fun when he looked straight into Jongdae's eyes and saw that only kindness and innocence there. "Yeah, guys, I think it's time to go." Jongdae smiled in relief as the group got up to leave.
The boys stood at the entrance of the bar, staring, dumbfounded at the pouring rain. The weather was perfect when they left the studio. Jongdae looked up and down the street, looking for a taxi. Chanyeol was shocked when Jongdae ran out into the rain, waving down a taxi. The taxi stopped and Jongdae opened the doors, gesturing for them to get in. Chinhwa ran first and jumped into the front seat, not caring about anyone else. Chanyeol ushered the younger ones in first before realising there was no room for Jongdae. "I'll…" He was going to stay with Jongdae but Jongdae shoved him into the taxi and then stuck his head in the window of the passenger car, not caring that he was leaning over Chinhwa. He handed the driver 20000 wons, "Seolleung-ro 190-gil, Cheongdam-dong, SM." He told the driver before pushing back out into the rain. Jongdae watched them leave before looking around for another taxi. All taxis were occupied. He looked at his watch. He was going to miss his curfew if he didn't get a taxi soon.
Chanyeol looked out the back window and watch taxis splash by Jongdae. He hissed, "Hope he'll be okay."
"He'll be fine! He's a big boy." Chinhwa answered, "And what does he mean by paying the fare for us? Do I look like a can't pay?"
"He was making sure we get back, like he always does." Chanyeol defended Jongdae, "And we'd still be waiting at the bar if it wasn't for him so maybe you should be a little grateful."
Chinhwa frowned, hearing the frustration in Chanyeol's voice. He knew he needed to be careful, otherwise all his hard work getting on these boys' good sides will go to waste. "I am. He's a good guy." He quickly amended but Chanyeol was still looking back even though he couldn't see Jongdae anymore.
"Should we call our manager? Maybe he can send someone to pick him up." Sehun worried, messaging Junmyeon to tell him what happened.
"We're not idols yet. They're not going to come out for us especially when we came out for drinks." Jongin worried. "I'm sure he'll get back in time."
"Yeah, boys, don't worry." Chinhwa turned to the front and rolled his eyes.
Chanyeol got out of the shower and picked up his watch. It was five minutes past their curfew. He quickly got changed and rushed to their common room with his towel around his neck, drying his hair. "Is Jongdae back?" Minseok sighed and shook his head. He tried to call the boy but it went straight to voicemail. "Damn it! I knew I should've stayed with him."
"He's going to get into so much trouble…" The door to their living room opened and Jongdae walked in, soaked to the bones.
"You made it!" Chanyeol sighed in relief and wrapped his towel around Jongdae's shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down Jongdae's arms to soak up the water as well as warm him up, "How did you get in past curfew?"
Jongdae smiled at him, "G…guard…lllikes me."
Minseok chuckled. It was true. Jongdae was always helping out their building security guards at the front desk whenever he could. Sometimes he would help with the mail, other times he would carry boxes that needed to be delivered to a floor near theirs. "Go get out of your wet clothes before you get sick."
"Ne." Jongdae bowed to him and then turned to Chanyeol, waving the towel at him, "Gomaseunimnida." He ran upstairs.
Chanyeol smiled affectionately as Jongdae disappeared, "He's a good hyung, isn't he? I should be thanking him."
Minseok nodded, "He's a good kid."
The next night…
Jongdae blinked blearily at the person wiping a cool towel across his brow. It was Junmyeon. He winced at his sore throat and at the heat, "Hyung?"
Junmyeon smiled at him sympathetically, "Not feeling well, are you?"
Jongdae shook his head at him, "I'm okay." His voice was croaky.
"No, you're not. You caught a cold and it's nasty." Junmyeon winced at the pain he could see whenever Jongdae swallowed.
Jongdae turned to the clock on his bedside table. It was 2 am. "You should go to sleep."
"I'm fine. Close your eyes and rest." Junmyeon laid the towel across Jongdae's brow, "You have tomorrow and the next day off."
"I'm okay to…"
"Doctor's orders." Junmyeon stopped the protest, "Close your eyes." He chuckled as Jongdae pouted but did as he was told. Junmyeon was proud of Jongdae for taking care of their maknaes. Chanyeol had told him what Jongdae did that night. It was so natural for him to take care of the people around him. Chinhwa told him he thought it was an act but Junmyeon could tell it wasn't. It was almost second nature to Jongdae. It was too bad that being a good guy wasn't a criterion for being an idol. They needed someone who could dance well and sing well. So far, Jongdae only showed that he was an okay dancer. Junmyeon prayed he could prove that he was a great singer. If he had to choose right now, who should stay on the team, he would have to choose Chinhwa because the guy was really good but something about him didn't sit right with Junmyeon.
Jongdae's days off made it worse for him and better for Chinhwa. It gave Chinhwa to work with the team and solidify his place on the team. Almost everyone on the team believed Chinhwa was the best choice and Jongdae wasn't there to prove them wrong. "Wait until Jongdae comes back and lets see what he can do." Minseok cautioned them to not be so hasty with their decisions.
"Come on, hyung. Even if Jongdae was here, he can't do what Chinhwa can." Baekhyun insisted, high-fiving Chinhwa.
"Thanks, man!" Chinhwa grinned, "But Minseok hyung's right. Jongdae is not here to prove himself."
Minseok narrowed his eyes at the boy as he spoke. He was only saying what he thought Minseok wanted to hear. "He doesn't need to prove himself. I can see what kind of a man he is. He's good and kind. He's thoughtful. He may not dance as well as you do but neither does Chanyeol or Junmyeon. As for his singing, I have a feeling he hasn't shown his potential." Minseok was not going to let the boys talk about Jongdae when he wasn't here to defend himself, not that he would even if he was here. Luhan was right about one thing; this industry wasn't the place for people like Jongdae but if he's here then there must be a passion there that is pushing him to do this.
One week later…
Chinhwa sat in their manager's office. He knew he was about to be told he would be staying on the group. There was no way they would choose Jongdae after yesterday's performance. He smiled at Youngjun, waiting for the good news. "Chinhwa, you know we take our privacy policy seriously, right?" Chinhwa frowned, this wasn't the conversation he was expecting. Youngjun showed him a draft magazine article. It talked about a new team SM was putting together.
"I didn't tell anyone about us." Chinhwa outright lied. He had spoken to a reporter friend. Hoping to push the company to make a decision about him and Jongdae.
"Don't take this company for a fool. We've been around long enough to know the tricks. This is a breach of your contract. We're not keeping you on."
Chinhwa felt his rage grow. He was never good at keeping his temper but he had kept it in check for over a month now because he needed the team on his side. He couldn't keep it in any longer, "You can't do this to me!"
"We can and we have. You have today to say goodbye to the others and then you will pack your things and leave." Youngjun dismissed him.
Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Jongin and Sehun were on the rooftop chatting. They were told by Minwook that Chinhwa would not be staying with them. The company has chosen Jongdae but they weren't told why. The four members didn't understand how anyone could chose Jongdae over Chinhwa. "Do you think it would do any good if we protest?" Sehun asked. He felt bad for asking but he still believed Chinhwa was the better choice.
"No. The fact that they made this choice tells you that they don't care about how we feel. We just have to go with their decision and hope Jongdae improves." Baekhyun shook his head, not understanding what their bosses were thinking.
"He's a really nice guy but he's supposed to be our vocalist and right now he dances better than he sings! That's saying something." Jongin complained, "We'll never debut if we keep Jongdae."
Chanyeol sighed. He wanted Jongdae over Chinhwa, especially after what he did for them last week, but the others were right. The chances of debut were considerably less with Jongdae. He was about to agree when they heard the door to the roof open. Baekhyun went check who it was, then quickly jumped back and put a finger to his lips when he saw that it was Jongdae. He gestured for them to come over quietly.
Jongdae leaned against the roof ledge, coughing a little. The cold was still lingering but he was feeling much better. He was told he would be staying with the group but he knew it wasn't the team's choice. He came up here to debate whether he should take the offer or give up. He really wanted this but not if the team didn't want him. He wished he could prove to them that he deserved to stay. He could tell the team treated him differently since last week but it wasn't enough for them to want him over Chinhwa. Jongdae closed his eyes and started singing because singing always helped him calm down. He was singing a classic…To Heaven.
The four boys' jaws dropped at the beautiful, clear voice coming out of Jongdae. His voice was mesmerising. This is what everyone was talking about. Baekhyun looked at the others and smiled. The company made the right choice. They stood there and enjoyed the sweet voice of Kim Jongdae. When he finished, Chanyeol wanted to run out to hug Jongdae but the door to the roof swung open with a bang.
"Kim Jongdae!" They jumped at the angry voice.
Jongdae jolted and turned around. Before he could do anything, hands wrapped around his throat, "Let's see if you can sing without air!" Jongdae struggled with the hands but Chinhwa was much stronger than he was. His grip around his throat was so strong, Jongdae could feel his windpipe crushing.
The four boys were so shocked at what they were seeing they froze for seconds before Baekhyun leapt into action. "Chinhwa!" But Chinhwa was in such a rage that he didn't hear him. "Chinhwa!" Baekhyun tried to pulled his hands off Jongdae but he was like a heavy statue. He wouldn't budge. "Let go! Are you crazy?"
Jongin was pulling at him from the other side with just as much luck. Chanyeol was pulling him from behind. "Get off him!"
Sehun desperately looked around when Jongdae's eyes started rolling back. Jongdae was going to die if he didn't do something. He grabbed a wooden fold-up chair, "Get out of the way!" He called as he readied the chair to swing. The others saw him and got out of the way. Sehun smashed the chair into Chinhwa, knocking him to the ground.
Jongdae dropped to the concrete, not breathing. Baekhyun quickly turned him onto his back and felt for a pulse. There was one. He then listened for breath but felt nothing. Immediately, Baekhyun started breathing for him. The boys waited. Chanyeol was keeping an eye on Chinhwa, while watching Baekhyun breathe life back into the vocalist. "Come on, Jongdae, wake up." Chanyeol prayed. He couldn't believe he'd been defending a monster. He couldn't believe how quickly everything flipped. He needed Jongdae to be okay.
"Wake up, hyung." Sehun begged, tears running down his cheeks, "Wake up!"
As if Jongdae heard the call of their youngest, he coughed harshly before sucking in a breath. It hurt but Jongdae needed another breath. It felt like he was drawing breath through a blocked pipe, the air wouldn't come fast enough. "Calm down." Baekhyun sat behind Jongdae, rubbing his hand up and down his chest, "Ambulance is on the way. You'll be fine."
Jongin got off the phone with the emergency service and dialed Junmyeon, "Hyung! I'm on the roof with Jongdae. Chinhwa attacked him. He's awake now but…"
"We're on our way." Junmyeon could hear the panic in Jongin's voice. There was no point in getting the whole story over the phone.
Jongin knelt in front of Jongdae, who still couldn't breathe properly, "You'll be okay, hyung."
Jongdae panicked as breathing got harder with every breath. Baekhyun kept rubbing his chest, "Hang in there, Jongdae."
Jongin's eyes widened in horror as Jongdae's eyes started to roll back, "Hyung! Stay awake!" He tapped Jongdae's cheek, trying to keeping him conscious, "Stay with us, hyung!"
Minseok burst through door with the others behind him. "What happened?" He knelt in front of Jongdae, tapping the unresponsive man, "Jongdae!"
Junmyeon stood above Chinhwa, "What happened to him?"
"I knocked him out." Sehun glared at the man, "And I'm not sorry! How can he change at a flip of a switch!"
"He never changed, Sehun. He's been putting on an act all this time." Kris growled, "And we fell for it." He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been.
Luhan knelt next to Minseok, wincing when he saw the bruises already forming around Jongdae's neck, "God, how hard was he squeezing?"
"The three of us couldn't pull him off. That's how hard!" Chanyeol growled from his place near Chinhwa, who looked like he was returning to consciousness, "Don't wake up while I'm here, asshole or I'll kick you in the head!" He threatened.
The paramedics and police walked through the door, "Over there!" Their manager called, running over to the boys, "Jongdae!" The paramedics pulled an oxygen mask over Jongdae's nose and mouth before loading him on the gurney. The other paramedics took care of Chinhwa as the police cuffed him to the gurney. "What the hell happened?" Minwook demanded! The entire team was on the roof, looking at each other with no answer.
Hospital...
Jongdae's mother was sitting with Jongdae who was kept sedated until the swelling of his windpipe reduced. His bed was elevated to assist his breathing. She held his hand with one hand while the other combed through his hair gently. "Who would hurt my gentle Jongdae?" She asked as she sniffed, "You told me you were happy." Someone knocked at the door. Jongdae's mother turned to find 11 young men walking into the room. They were told to give Jongdae's mother time to be with her son but clearly these boys couldn't wait any longer. She smiled at them, seeing that they were good boys. They wouldn't hurt Jongdae. These boys were the reason Jongdae wanted to stay. She wiped away her tears as the boys bowed, "Aniyeonghaesayo, Jongdae umma."
Jongdae's mother stood from her seat. Junmyeon was about to introduce himself when she stopped him, taking his hand in both of hers, patting it affectionately. She looked at each of them and knew who they were straight away. "You're Junmyeon." Junmyeon nodded, surprised she knew his name, "You're one of Jongdae's roommates. He told me were kind and always took care of everyone. Thank you for taking care of him when he was sick." Junmyeon swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. He couldn't talk. None of them could. She looked up at Kris, "You're Kris. You really are as handsome and cool as Jongdae described but I would like to see that smile Jongdae tells me about. The one that shows how much you care about your friends." Kris couldn't smile, not when Jongdae was in hospital. "Luhan," She affectionately put a hand against his cheek, "Your eyes really do sparkle. He admires your confidence." The boys weren't sure they could take much more of this. "Kyungsoo. You make sure he eats well. He says you're the happiest in the kitchen." Jongdae's mother moved on. "Baekhyun." She chuckled, "I can see the cheekiness in your eyes even now. Chanyeol…" She reached up to the tall man and wiped away his tears, "Don't cry. Musicians are more emotional, aren't they?" She moved to the three youngest, "Jongin, Tao and Sehun. You're the babies of the group. Jongdae worries about you three all the time." She turned to Yixing, "He likes to sit outside your room and listen to you compose, did you know that?" Yixing shook his head, "He said sometimes your music is so sad, he can't help but cry." The last member was Minseok, "You're the first make Jongdae feel welcomed. He feels safe around you. You're gentle but strong."
The team couldn't believe she knew them all even though she has never met them. She smiled affectionately at them, "Jongdae thinks the world of all of you. He calls me every night after all of you go to bed to tell me about your day. I can hear how much he cares about every one of you." She spun around when she heard a groan from the bed, "Jongdae…" She rushed back to his side. "My baby boy, you scared me." Jongdae lifted his hand and his mother took it. She quickly covered his mouth when opened it to speak, "You can't talk. Your trachea is bruised. You need to rest it." Jongdae put on a brave face for his mother. "Oh my beautiful boy, I love you too." She wiped away her tears, "I met your friends. You described them perfectly." Her eyes moved to the angry bruises around his neck, "Why would someone want to kill you? You told me you were happy here. Were you lying to me?" Jongdae shook his head, "Are you truly happy? Do these boys take care of you?" She turned to the team. Jongdae scanned the room before nodding to his mother. Jongdae's mother knew her youngest. He was independent and stubborn. He chose this path and he would see it through no matter what obstacle was put in front of him. "Your father's not feeling too well." She put a hand out to calm her son, "He's fine. Just a bad cold. I need to go home to take care of him." She turned to the boys, "Can I trust you to take care of my boy?"
"Ne, Ahjumma!" They answered without hesitation.
Jongdae's mother turned back to her son, "Send me messages until you can talk again. I want to hear you whine to me." Jongdae smiled at her and nodded. "Saranghae." Jongdae made a heart with his fingers. She leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, "Go to sleep." She ordered before getting up. She stopped in front of Kris and Junmyeon, "You're lucky. He usually gets whinier when he's sick. Even more than you're used to." The boys looked at her confused. Jongdae never whined. She sighed sadly at their confused expression. They've never heard Jongdae whine which meant he wasn't comfortable with them. "Please, don't let him get hurt again." What could she do but trust her son's judgement of these boys? She had no doubt that these boys had good hearts but they didn't know her son. Her son knew them though and that was good enough for her. She left the room, praying she wasn't making a mistake.
As soon as the door closed, Jongdae started shaking. His hand came up to his neck, still feeling Chinhwa's fingers crushing his windpipe. He brought his knees to his chest, hugging it tight, trying to stop himself from shaking. Every breath he took reminded him of not being able to. He closed his eyes tight, shutting out Chinhwa's crazy eyes as he tried to strangle him to death.
Minseok's heart broke at the scared little boy in the bed. The guilt of not protecting Jongdae built in his chest, "Jongdae." He whispered.
Junmyeon sat on the bed, reaching out but as soon as he touched Jongdae's shoulder, Jongdae jolted violently. He looked up with fear in his eyes. "Jongdae." Jongdae shuffled away from Junmyeon, getting onto his knees and rubbing his hands together, begging Junmyeon but for what, they didn't know. "Jongdae." Jongdae kept backing away from him until he was on the edge of the bed.
"Jongdae!" Minseok rushed over, and grabbed him before he could fall. Jongdae panicked and tried to get away from Minseok as well but Minseok wrapped his strong arms around the scared boy, "It's okay. I promise. It's going to be okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you." Minseok repeated himself over and over again until he felt Jongdae stop struggling. There was not a dry eye in the room as they watched Jongdae fall apart. They knew it wasn't only because of Chinhwa; it was a build-up of everything since they met. "I'm not going to hurt you."
Junmyeon was angry. How did it get to this point? They shouldn't need to reassure Jongdae that they wouldn't hurt him. Jongdae shouldn't be begging them. "I'm sorry, Jongdae. I'm sorry we let Chinhwa charm us. We should've seen through his lies. We should've looked for the real you. We should've tried harder." He reached over and hesitantly placed a hand on Jongdae's shoulder but the boy still flinched in Minseok's arms. "Baekhyun told me your voice is amazing. He heard you singing on the rooftop." Jongdae didn't respond. Junmyeon looked at Minseok. Minseok shook his head. Jongdae was still trembling.
Kris saw how guilty Junmyeon was feeling about everything but he shouldn't be the only one to take responsibility for this. "Jongdae, can you give us a chance to get to know you?" Kris asked him. Jongdae knew them all so well that his mother was able to identify them. It was time they got to know Jongdae, "I want to be friends. I want to know everything about you."
Jongdae closed his eyes tight and covered his ears. If he stayed like this, they would go away. I'm invisible. You can't see me. You can't hear me. Jongdae kept repeating those words in his head because he was starting to believe it anyway. It didn't matter what he did, nobody noticed him. It was only when he got sick that they saw him and they only took care of him because they felt bad. They don't know him. They don't see him. They don't hear him. He was invisible.
"We're not going to hurt you, Jongdae. Please believe me." Minseok begged him, hugging him tighter.
The arms around him was supposed to be comforting but they weren't. They were restricting, just like Chinhwa's hands around his neck. Fear over took his entire body as Chinhwa's crazy eyes glared at him while he squeezed the life out of him. Jongdae started fighting again. "No!" Minseok tried to hold onto Jongdae but Jongdae fought him with all the strength he had, "NO!"
Jongdae's hoarse scream made Minseok release him. He couldn't risk Jongdae damaging his vocals chords any further. Jongdae scrambled away from him but there was nowhere he could go so he covered his ears and closed his eyes again. I'm invisible…I'm invisible…I'm invisible…
The team could do nothing. Jongdae was scared of them. No…he was terrified. Junmyeon knew why. Chinhwa tried to kill him and ever since they've met, the team had made it known that Chinhwa was always their preference for the last member of the team. To Jongdae, if Chinhwa could kill him then they all could. They knew the fear was irrational but they knew they had put it there. If they were better people, they would've tried to get to know Jongdae. Junmyeon sighed and nudged his head towards the door, silently telling the team that they should all leave.
Junmyeon told their manager what had happened and so the doctor administered a dose of sedatives to help Jongdae calm down and sleep. Minseok sat outside the room. He wasn't leaving the hospital. He wasn't leaving Jongdae alone.
"What can any of you do, sitting out here? Jongdae's sleeping and so should all of you. He doesn't know you're out here and you can't stay in there. What is the point of staying?" Their managers were getting annoyed with them. None of them would budge from where they were seated or standing.
"What can we do back at the dorm?" Kris asked the managers, "I'm not going to be able to sleep when Jongdae's here alone."
"Neither will I. At least here, I feel like I can protect him." Minseok stared at the closed door. "I know he can feel that we're still here. Just because we treated him like he didn't exist, he has always been attuned to our presence."
"We'll all be fine here, hyung. Trust me. We'll be less trouble if you just let us stay." Junmyeon begged their managers. The managers sighed when they realised they weren't going to win this argument.
"We'll bring you a change of clothes in the morning but you're going straight to the studio for practice. I don't care if you're dead on your feet." Hyunkyun told them before leaving with his colleague.
They sat in silence in the quiet corridor. "I don't understand." Tao spoke softly, "His mother asked him if he trusted us to take care of him and he nodded but he's so scared of us why would he tell his mother that?"
"Because he's a good son who doesn't want to worry his mum." Luhan answered, remembering Jongdae's phone conversation with his mother, "He tells his mother that he's fine and even goes into details about each of us so that she can have a peace of mind."
"But I don't think he fooled her." Junmyeon remembered her last words; don't let him get hurt again. It was an order not a request. She knows her son isn't happy, how could she not? If Jongdae is anything to go by, his mum must be very perceptive. She knew Jongdae was just putting on a brave face for her. "A son can't easily fool his mother. She was letting Jongdae make his own choice."
"How can we look after him if he's so scared of us?" Sehun asked.
"First thing, we need to prove to him that he can trust us. Jongdae managed to take care of each of us without being obvious about it, why can't we?" Luhan told them. They looked at him, confused. "Jongdae covers the table corners so we don't bump into them. He goes out with us only when Tao, Jongin and Sehun go out because he worries about them." Luhan smiled as he realised that Jongdae wasn't invisible to him. He wasn't completely unaware of Jongdae.
Baekhyun sat up, "The anti-slip mats in the shower! Jongdae bought them because Sehun almost slipped."
"He cleans up as I cook so that I don't need to." Kyungsoo smiled at how Jongdae managed to do that without getting in the way.
"Every time he goes into the bathroom before me, he makes sure it's clean and tidy before he leaves because he knows how much I hate mess." Minseok told them.
"He turns on the aircon as soon as Junmyeon hyung leaves the room because he knows how much I hate the heat." Jongin realised.
"And he turns it off and turns on the fan when I'm in the room because he knows how much I don't like the aircon." Junmyeon chuckled sadly, "My habits annoy him but he still panders to me."
"We took him for granted." Baekhyun sighed, "Why are we only realising all of this now? The more I think about it, the more I hate Chinhwa. He wasn't a good guy. I'm so desperate to debut, I convinced myself that Chinhwa was the better match for this team."
"We all did." Chanyeol pinched the bridge of his nose, "Even after Chen got himself sick because of us."
"I didn't know he sat outside my room to listen to me compose." Yixing turned to Jongin and Sehun, "Is he really that good?"
Jongin nodded, "I've never heard such clean tones. His voice is so sweet and when he hits a high note, it's perfect."
"And that was only one song we heard and he's still a little sick." Baekhyun could still hear the voice in his mind, "I have a feeling that we've only heard a fraction of what he can do."
"I wonder if he would be open to singing for my demo?" Yixing thought to himself. It sounded like Jongdae's voice was perfect for his songs.
"I think he would love to but we need to earn his forgiveness first. Anything we do for him now will look like pity to him." Luhan leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, "It's time we proved ourselves to him, boys."
The next day...
Jongdae woke from his sedated sleep with the sun. He looked around the empty room, relieved; no one was around to hurt him. He was still invisible and wanted it to remain that way. Being seen and heard wasn't a good thing.
Jongdae pulled his knees up to his chest and sighed. What a joke? An idol in training who wanted to be invisible. He was torn between giving up his dream and going home to where he was safe or continuing on this path. He promised himself to never regret his decision but it was hard not to when someone tries to kill you because of the path you chose. He was about to get up and get changed when his phone beeped. He read the message from his manager; Dr Kang discharged you. Minwook and I will pick you up when we come get the others. Be ready by 7 a.m. Jongdae frowned at the message; pick up the others? From here? Why would they be here? Jongdae looked at the door nervously...Were they out there? Did they want to tell him that they didn't want him on the team? Why else would they be here? Jongdae closed his eyes, disgusted at the coward he had become. If the team didn't want him then he didn't need to make a decision. He wasn't staying where he wasn't wanted. Jongdae took a deep breath and pushed himself off the bed. He wanted this nightmare over!
Jongdae stood at the door, pausing with his hand on the door handle. Gathering his courage one last time, Jongdae pulled the door open...
Jongdae didn't know what he was expecting but this wasn't it. The team was asleep in the uncomfortable plastic benches in the corridor. They were either sitting up, using each other as a pillow or lying along the bench. Jongdae didn't know what to think. He bit his lips as he struggled with what to do. He didn't dare to wake them but he didn't want to be a coward and walk back into the room. Jongdae jolted and gripped the door handle tighter when every members' phone beeped.
Kris woke first with a groan, smacking Tao, who was using his lap as a pillow, to get off him. He pulled out his phone and read the message; we will be there in 20 minutes. Kris froze halfway through a stretch when he saw Jongdae standing at the door, "Jongdae?"
Minseok woke up at the name, "Jongdae?" He looked at Kris first and then to where Kris was looking, "Jongdae!" He stood up, about to approach him when he saw how tense the boy was.
Kris looked at Minseok and then back at Jongdae, "Hyung sent a message to say he'll be here in 20 minutes." Kris told Minseok, hoping to take his attention from Jongdae.
Minseok turned to him and then pulled out his phone, seeing the same message Kris got. He sighed, wondering what the plan was for Jongdae. He gave Jongdae a kind smile before speaking, hoping to ease his fear, "We need to leave for practice. You'll need to wait for the doctor to discharge you."
Jongdae was about to shake his head when the others started waking up. He could feel the tremors returning. He hated it but he couldn't control it. Slowly, each member stood, staring at Jongdae and not knowing what to do. "Jongdae," Junmyeon finally spoke, "How are you feeling? You should stay in bed."
Jongdae looked down at his pocket where his phone was. He wanted to take it out but he couldn't get his hands to obey. He closed his eyes and concentrated on controlling his extremities.
It hurt the team to see how much harder it was for Jongdae to function. It was ten times worse than before. This was their fault. They created distrust between them. They watched as Jongdae pulled his phone out and held it out to them in his shaking hand. Minseok, who they knew out of all of them Jongdae would be more willing to trust, reached out and gently took the phone from Jongdae. He read the message. "You've been discharged already. You're coming back with us." Minseok showed Junmyeon the message, "That's great but I don't think you're up for practice. Maybe they'll drop us off first before taking you back to the dorm to rest." Jongdae shrugged as he watched his phone get passed around the older members. It got back to Minseok who held it out to Jongdae. Jongdae wiped his sweaty palms on his hospital pants before taking it from Minseok.
As Jongdae stood there, not knowing what to do, he looked around at each member again before stopping at Baekhyun. He remembered something from last night. Chinhwa had his hands around his throat but someone else was screaming and pulling at Chinhwa. Did Baekhyun save his life? He closed his eyes as he tried to remember what happened. As his vision started to blur, he heard voices and people surrounding him. It wasn't only Baekhyun. Chanyeol, Jongin and Sehun were there as well. Jongdae opened his eyes again and found 11 pair of eyes looking back at him with concern. He wasn't used to this. He wanted to say something...to ask about what happened last night but he couldn't talk and he couldn't get himself to use his phone, not while everyone was staring at him. He bowed to them, nervously and then slammed the door shut.
The team stood in silence. This was so much worse than they thought. How could they gain his trust when Jongdae couldn't even function. "A-ssii!" Baekhyun cursed, "What a mess!"
Jongdae stood with his back against the door. He could hear Baekhyun cursing. He felt bad, slamming the door like that, but he needed to get away from them so he could calm down. He could only use his phone to communicate but couldn't get his fingers to work while the team watched him. Jongdae took deep breaths as he opened and closed his hands until he could feel his fingers again before he pulled out his phone again and typed.
Baekhyun growled when his phone beeped, "What the hell do they want this time?" He thought it was a message from their managers when he noticed only Chanyeol, Jongin and Sehun got a message as well. He was surprised when he saw it was from Jongdae. He looked at the others and knew they got the same message; gomaseumnida. I don't remember clearly but I think you saved me yesterday.
Minseok smiled at the message as he read over Jongin's shoulder, "He remembered."
Chanyeol smirked, "We were up there discussing how we preferred Chinhwa over Jongdae. Ironic, isn't it?"
"Yeah, if we weren't up there talking about how stupid the company's choice was, we wouldn't have been there to save him. We wouldn't have realised that we were the stupid ones." Baekhyun hated himself.
"Hey!" Junmyeon admonished them, "Focus on the good side. He remembers you saving him, which means he's trying, so we should as well. Don't let him down again."
Jongdae got changed in his room before picking up his bag. He hesitated at the door for a few seconds. Everyone was waiting for him. He opened the door and sure enough, the team was there again. Minseok smiled and took his bag from him, "Let me help you." Hesitantly, he wrapped his arm over Jongdae's shoulder and sighed in relief when Jongdae didn't flinch, although, he could feel how tense he was, "Let's go. Doctor said it's okay for you to practice with us but you can't sing. You have a choice though." Minseok lead the way to the lift. Junmyeon smiled. Something about their eldest member was disarming. It was always comfortable to be around Minseok. Minseok continued talking, keeping Jongdae distracted from the rest of the team. "You can go back to the dorm and rest or come with us."
Jongdae fiddled nervously with the hem of his hoodie as they got into the lift. He wished he wasn't given a choice. He wanted to go back to the dorm and think about what was best for him but he felt like a coward. He should go with the team because he needed the practice but what's the point of practicing if he wasn't sure if he would be staying or going? "I would like it if you came with us." Junmyeon suggested gently, "I think I would worry too much knowing you were at the dorms alone."
Jongdae's brow furrowed in confusion. They worried about him? Jongdae sighed, wondering when everything was going to start making sense for him. Jongdae nodded. At least he didn't need to decide now. He felt the team let out a collective breath of relief. It was less tense in the lift now, as if a fog had lifted. They really do want me to stay with them?
Jongdae practiced with the team but he felt sluggish. He kept needing water and the longer he practised the harder it was for him to concentrate. It was a strange feeling, nothing he'd felt before. Luhan walked up to him, worried at the amount of times Jongdae needed to stop for a drink, "Jongdae..." Jongdae jumped violently at the touch on his shoulder, dropping his bottle and backing away. Luhan's eyes widened as Jongdae's stepped into the water and lost his footing, "Careful!" He grabbed Jongdae by the arms and pulled him into his own arms, keeping him steady as he pulled him away from the water. He frowned. He could feel Jongdae's heart beating a million miles an hour. Luhan pulled back and held Jongdae's head between his hands, "Look at me." Jongdae did but his eyes were glazed over.
"Luhan, what's wrong?" Kris asked him in Chinese.
Luhan shook his head, "I don't think he should practice anymore. He's not well."
Kris turned Jongdae towards him and saw what Luhan did. He was pale and clammy, lethargic and he was out of breath, "You should lie down." He led Jongdae to the couch.
"Seonsaengnim, can we have a break?" Junmyeon called out to their dance instructor.
"Half an hour. Jongdae, sit out for the rest of the day." The teacher called out before leaving.
Kris grabbed a grey hoodie that was on the couch and wrapped it around Jongdae's shoulders, "We should call Dr Kang. This isn't normal."
"Lie down, Jongdae." Luhan helped Jongdae to lie down, using the armrest as a pillow, "Close your eyes." Jongdae didn't need to be told twice, his eyes drifted close on its own.
Junmyeon was on the phone with Dr Kang. He described Jongdae's symptoms to him. The team could tell he didn't like the diagnosis he was getting. "Ne, gomaseumnida." He turned to the team and sighed, "It was a bad idea to bring him here."
"What did Dr Kang say?"
"He thinks it's Jongdae's reaction to the trauma. That coupled with not being able to express himself is making it worse."
"And you think this place is a trigger because it happened here." Minseok wiped at the moisture beading around Jongdae's brow and neck. "Everything started here. He hasn't been happy since he met us. Chinhwa's been playing a mental game with him and we were all a part of it."
"That means our dorm could be a trigger as well." Jongin realised, "We are all triggers."
Junmyeon nodded sadly. He didn't want to but he knew they didn't have a choice. "I think Jongdae needs to go home. I don't think we're good for him."
Minseok spun around, "What?!"
"Hyung..."
"Sending him home tells him we don't want him, which is what he's been afraid of facing since he met us. It's been on his mind for months now and you want to make it a reality."
"I'm not saying he should leave the group but he can't recover with us..."
"We caused this, so we need to fix it. Sending him home isn't the answer!" Minseok argued.
Junmyeon felt his temper rise. He'd been trying to keep them together and keep their spirits high but the situation kept getting worse and worse, "I don't want to send him home but he'll only get worse if he stays!"
"I agree with Junmyeon. If he stays, he could do permanent damage to himself." Kris voted.
"How do we know he'll get better if we send him home? He could feel like a failure and get worse." Baekhyun believed they needed to take a dominant role in helping Jongdae.
"If he stays, we can monitor him." Chanyeol agreed.
"And what are we monitoring? We're not doctors. How can we help him?" Sehun wanted Jongdae to get professional help.
"If the problem is psychological then why can't we help? He needs his friends and family." Jongin sided with Minseok.
"Are we his friends? Are we his family?" Junmyeon asked harshly. He wanted to get through to the team that they weren't the help Jongdae needed. Jongdae needed to be surrounded by people he was comfortable with. They weren't it.
Jongdae heard the conversation from the moment Minseok called out angrily. They were arguing over him. He was a burden now. Half the team wanted him gone. The other half felt bad and wanted to fix him, as if he was a broken toy. Jongdae pushed himself up. The team didn't notice that he was awake. Are they his friends? Are they his family? Jongdae couldn't answer that. He wanted them to be. His mother told him before he left to treat his new friends the way he would treat his own family and they will see who he was. Jongdae did that because his mother was always right. But she wasn't this time. They barely saw him. Jongdae needed to make a decision but he couldn't do it here. If he stayed any longer, the team would start arguing with each other. He couldn't let that happen.
"Jongdae hyung!" Jongin was the first to see him, "You should be resting." Jongdae mimed washing his face, "You need the bathroom?" Jongin guessed. Jongdae nodded.
"Are you okay to go on your own?" Minseok asked him. Jongdae gave him an embarrassed smile and nodded. "Okay." Minseok chuckled. He watched Jongdae leave the room before turning back to their conversation. "I'm not letting him go without a fight."
Jongdae all but ran to the lifts. He frantically pressed the button but the lift was taking too long so he took the fire exit. He needed to get out of this building. He needed to get away from all of this. The longer he stayed here, the more he felt like he couldn't breathe. It was as if Jongdae could still feel Chinhwa's hands around his throat. He was choking. He turned the corner of the last flight of stairs and almost crashed into two security guards. He didn't see who they were, he only bowed furiously as he tried to get around them, "Jongdae-ssi?" Jongdae dared to look up. It was the security guard from the dorm building. "Are you okay?" Jongdae's breathing was short and uneven. He shook his head at the man who was always so kind to him. Tears came. He didn't know what to do. Jongdae started rubbing his hands together, silently begging the guard to take him away from here. "What's wrong?" The guard rubbed his hand up and down Jongdae's arms, trying to sooth him.
"What's wrong with him? Who is he?" The other guard asked.
"Jongdae's a trainee here. He lives in the building I work at."
"Take him home, Hyun." His friend told him, "We can have lunch another time. He doesn't look well."
"I can't just take him. Someone could be missing him." Hyun hissed as he thought about what he should do. "Why don't you tell the trainee managers that I've taken him to back to the dorms..." Jongdae jolted and shook his head frantically at him. He didn't want to go back to the dorms either. "Then where can I take you?" He sighed at how lost Jongdae looked, "It's okay." He turned to his friend, "Tell the managers I've taken him to the park by the river. They can call me if they need to find him. His name is Kim Jongdae."
Jongdae sat on a bench, silently looking over water. The panic he felt earlier was going away. It was peaceful here.
Hyun carefully studied Jongdae without disturbing him. He was a middle-aged man who had to retire early from his work as a police officer because his wife couldn't stand waiting up for him at night any longer. It meant he was very observant due to his training. The bruises around Jongdae's neck definitely didn't go unnoticed. The uneven and heavy breathing, along with the trembling told Hyun, Jongdae was having a panic attack. The fact that Jongdae refused to return to the dorms says that the panic attacks were linked to the other boys. He remembered none of them returned last night. "Sometimes it's easier to tell a stranger about your problems. Maybe I can give you a different perspective." Jongdae turned to him and pointed at his throat, shaking his head sadly. "You can't talk? That does make it harder, doesn't it?" Hyun took out his notebook and a pen, "Tell me what happened? I promise, you'll feel better."
Jongdae hesitantly took the pen and notepad in his shaky hands. He took a couple of deep breaths before writing. Hyun read the words as he wrote. He could feel himself get angry at what he was reading, "I never liked that Chinhwa guy. He's polite enough when he's with one of the team but when he's by himself, he is an ass!" Jongdae grinned at him as he continued writing. Hyun sighed when he wrote about how he was feeling about his choice of becoming an idol. "I don't know the others as well as I know you because I like you the most," That got him another grin from Jongdae, "but I can see that they're really good boys. I've seen trainees come and go. Aside from the pompous ass, you boys are the most grounded I've seen. Your parents raised you well." He kept reading. "That's the thing about panic attacks. They come on so suddenly, it's scary. What you need to do is figure out the triggers. Is it the boys or the dorm and the studio? You wrote that Baekhyun and a few others saved you so maybe they aren't triggers. It's just that they appear along with the real triggers. Tell me about the others."
Jongdae sat back and thought about what to write. Sehun is the youngest. He's very clumsy. I worry about him all the time but he's very loyal. I can tell how much he loves being on the team. As he wrote about each member, he tore off the page for Hyun to read. Hyun laughed, "Yeah, he even looks like he'll fall over walking on stable ground." Tao is scared of everything! He looks tough but he's scared of the dark, cockroaches and ghosts. "The tall boy? Really? Who'd have guessed." Jongin is an amazing dancer. The movements flow through him like water. It's mesmerising. He looks really sexy but he's so innocent. "Sexy?" Jongdae nodded, not shy about admitting that at all. Kyungsoo is the best cook. He loves experimenting with food. He has really bad eyes so if he looks like he's glaring at you, don't be offended. He's a really good guy. "Oh, I knew that. He explained that to me when we met so that I wouldn't think he was rude." Chanyeol is really generous and funny. He over-reacts to everything. I first thought he was over the top but that's just who he is. He falls so hard on the floor, I worry that he'll hurt himself one day. "That's the tall one. He is very expressive." Jongdae smiled at the little comments Hyun was giving. He knew them pretty well himself. Baekhyun is so funny and he adapts to situations very quickly. I admire him. He's the most well-rounded out of all of them. He sings really well and he remembers choreography after seeing it once. "He's definitely a cheeky one. I can see it every time he walks through that door. He's always up to something." Yixing is talented and I think he's a genius. He's going to go solo one day and write his own songs. "You're very sure about that." Jongdae nodded to him earnestly. Hyun smiled at how relaxed Jongdae was now. He may not know it, but he already treated these boys like his brothers. Suho takes care of everyone. He shouts us to meals because he knows it's hard for trainees and he can afford it. His family is well-off. He's the most hardworking. "Oh, I don't know about that. You're all pretty hardworking boys." He's been doing this for seven years! Hyun's eyes widened and then admitted, "Okay, maybe he's more hardworking than most." Jongdae chuckled silently. Kris acts tough but he stayed outside the bathroom when Tao was showering because Tao got scared. He's a big softy. "I wouldn't have guessed that. He always looks like he's too cool for school." Jongdae nodded in agreement. Luhan... Jongdae paused as he thought about Luhan. He sighed and wrote; I don't think he likes me much. He doesn't talk to me but I don't say much to him either. He's a little intimidating but not like Chinhwa. He's just so confident in everything. I wish I could be like him. "Maybe he thinks you're intimidating?" Jongdae gave Hyun a "are you stupid?" look, making him laugh, "It was just a thought. Clearly, you don't agree." Jongdae smiled at the last person. Minseok hyung... he's the big brother I've always wanted. My hyung teased me all the time when we were growing up. I love him but Minseok hyung is thoughtful and kind. He tried to get to know me. I made it hard though. He always tries to include me in everything. He's a really good big brother. "He sounds like a really good guy." He's the best! Jongdae grinned.
Hyun flicked through the pages in his hand, "You clearly love these boys. Do you really want to give this up because of a man like Chinhwa?" Jongdae sighed and shrugged. He lifted his hands, they weren't shaking anymore but that didn't mean anything. It could easily start when he sees the others again.
Hyun looked behind them and saw the boys approaching them. He smiled and lifted his finger to his lips, telling them to stay quiet. He sneakily gave the pages he was holding to Junmyeon. Junmyeon read each page before handing it to the others. The more he learned about Jongdae, the more he realised he didn't know enough about him.
"If you can tell me how amazing you think they are, I don't think they're the triggers." Hyun said confidently, "I've seen my fair share of PTSD and I think in your case, your friends can help you."
Jongdae shook his head and wrote; they don't agree that I should stay. I heard them arguing about what to do with me. I don't want them to be at odds because of me. Hyun read the message and sighed as he looked at the boys, "You think you're causing a rift in the team because they don't know how to deal with the situation." He watched the team deflate at the words. Jongdae ran away because he didn't want them to argue over him. He was trying to make a decision for them. "Do you really think they'll stop arguing because you're gone?" Hyun asked him wisely. Jongdae shrugged. "I don't think so. They all care about you and that's why they're so desperate to think of the best way to help you. They may be arguing but it's for the same reason; they want the best for you." Junmyeon smiled at Hyun's wise words. He prayed Jongdae listened.
Jongdae turned to Hyun. He didn't think of it that way. Could it be true? He thought about everything he had heard over the past months and then deflated and shook his head; they don't want me. I've heard them talking about me. They wanted Chinhwa, not me.
Hyun shook his head, "There is no way they want that pompous ass over you. They may have been fooled by him but they know the truth now."
Jongdae shook his head again; that doesn't mean they want me. I'm only a passable dancer and I haven't been able to sing for them.
Hyun gave Jongdae's shoulder a squeeze, "I think you should give them a second chance."
Minseok was done with having Hyun talk for them. This was their problem to solve, not their building security guard, "Please give us another chance."
Jongdae jumped from his seat, spinning around. He stumbled back when he saw the entire team was there. Hyun grabbed his arm, steadying him, "Stay and listen to what they have to say. Trust me. I've been around long enough to know when I'm seeing something special. Those boys are special, just like you." He whispered into Jongdae's ear. He turned to the others, "I'll leave him in your hands. Take care of him."
"Thank you, ahjussi." They bowed as Hyun passed them. He was the second person who trusted Jongdae with them.
"Sit down and listen to us? Please?" Minseok pleaded with him, "Let me be the big brother you wrote about." He held up the pages from the notebook. Jongdae's eyes widened. He looked around and saw that they all read it. He could feel his cheeks burning. He felt like running away but instead Jongdae lifted his hands. They weren't shaking yet. He nodded and sat down. He watched as the team made themselves comfortable on the lush grass.
Junmyeon started first, "We haven't known each other long enough to be a family but we should've been friends. It's not your fault that we're not, it's mine. I know you tried despite your anxiety and I'm ashamed of myself for not seeing how much effort it takes for you to interact with us. You're one of the bravest people I know. You've pushed past your fears to get to this point. I won't forgive myself if I let you give up now."
"I saw through Chinhwa the night you got drenched to make sure we got home in time." Chanyeol spoke next, "But I chose to ignore it because I didn't think this industry was for you. My mum always taught me to look beyond the surface but I didn't with you. I'm sorry, Jongdae. You're so much more than I can see."
"I'm sorry, hyung." Tao cried, "I never say thank you for everything you do for us. I ignore the messages you leave on the fridge because I think you're nagging me. I know you do it because you really do care about us. You look after me like I'm your little brother."
"Ne," Sehun wiped at his tears, "I get annoyed because I feel like you're always hovering over me but I like it as well. I feel safer when I know you're in the dorm with us. I can go out without a care when you join us because you make sure we get home safely."
"You try so hard at everything we do. I know you stay back later than any of us because you're trying to keep up." Jongin tried to talk through the lump in his throat, "You shouldn't have needed to. I should've helped you more. We're a team."
"You're so aware of everyone around you...Of our needs." Kyungsoo spoke next, "You don't say anything or ask, you just do it without expecting anything in return. I'm sorry I didn't give back the way I should've."
Jongdae felt his heart beat faster at the words coming from the team. He always thought he was invisible but everything they were telling him said that they notice him. He pulled his legs onto the bench, sitting cross-legged as he continued listening because it was all he could do.
"I'm sorry I never try to include you in anything." Kris spoke next, "I like to act cool so I don't muck around with everyone as much. I see you sit by yourself but never make the effort to talk to you. I'm sorry."
"Your mum told me you listen to my music outside my room. I see you writing in your notebook a lot. You don't talk much but I know you must feel a lot. Maybe you can help me with lyrics. I like composing music but I'm not very good with words. I really would like your help if you wouldn't mind." Yixing smiled at Jongdae's surprised expression. "You don't need to answer right away."
Minseok grinned at Jongdae and picked up his hand, holding it tightly as if it were the most natural thing to do, "I bet the song would be a hit. I've heard the way you talk to your mother. Your words are sweet and comforting. Yixing's music and your lyrics would be a perfect match." Jongdae looked down at his hand in Minseok's. It was warm and kind. Most importantly, he wasn't anxious about it. It felt...right.
"I never gave you a chance." Luhan read the words on the paper, "I don't think he likes me much." He sighed at the words, "I wish I could say you were wrong but you're not. You don't talk much and silence makes me uncomfortable so I didn't have the best impression of you." Jongdae couldn't look at Luhan. His eyes made him feel like he was looking straight through him, "I didn't understand why someone who was so anxious would want to be in this industry. I only saw the negative side of your shyness. What I should've thought was, your love of music, of singing, must be so strong that it gave you the strength to fight." Jongdae did look up at the words. It was exactly how he felt about singing. Luhan's eyes weren't intimidating this time, they only reflected kindness and understanding. It made him feel at ease.
"Out of everyone, I'm the worst. I didn't even try. I joined late as well. I should know how you feel but I didn't make you feel welcomed. Chinhwa was funny and joked around with me so I thought he was a better match for this group. I didn't want to get to know you. Your dancing was no better than ours and you couldn't sing that day. I didn't want you on the team." Baekhyun hated himself. Jongdae was almost killed because he refused to give him the time of day. "If I tried to get to know you, you would've shown how amazing you were to us. If I made you feel welcomed, you wouldn't have been on that rooftop. You almost died because I was a selfish jerk who didn't see who you truly are!" Baekhyun shot up, "I'm sorry, Jongdae." With that Baekhyun stormed away from them.
Jongdae listened to the guilt he was hearing. Why was Baekhyun taking the blame for what Chinhwa did? He could hear how angry Baekhyun was with himself. This wasn't what Jongdae wanted. He didn't blame them for what happened. It wasn't the fault of anyone.
"Baekhyun!" Chanyeol was about to run after his friend but Jongdae beat him to it.
The team watched as Jongdae chased after Baekhyun. Minseok smiled, "Always thinking of others first. That's Kim Jongdae." He said to himself.
Jongdae caught up with Baekhyun after running for almost ten minutes and grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around and wrapping his arms around him, tight as he huffed breathlessly. He couldn't talk. This was the only thing he could do to make Baekhyun understand that he didn't blame him.
Baekhyun tensed at the hug. He didn't understand what was happening. How can Jongdae be comforting him after everything he's been through? Baekhyun felt how much Jongdae cared through the embrace. Tears came to his eyes as he let the guilt surface, "Miande, Jongdae! Miande!"
Jongdae shook his head, hugging him tighter and running his hands up and down Baekhyun's back as Baekhyun sobbed and apologised over and over again. He stayed with Baekhyun until he calmed before pushing back. He looked into Baekhyun's eyes and still saw the guilt there. Jongdae sighed. He wished he could talk. He pointed to his neck and then at Baekhyun and shook his head. "It wasn't my hand but..." Jongdae shoved Baekhyun shocking him and shook his head angrily. He turned and pointed at the direction of their building and at himself and nodded, then pointed at Baekhyun again and shook his head, adamantly. Baekhyun frowned, "This isn't your fault. How can you blame yourself?" Jongdae pointed to his own head. He wasn't stupid. He knew he had problems socialising. Even when others approached him, he never knew what to say. He always had one-word answers. It wasn't just Chinhwa's charms, it was Jongdae's lack of it. Jongdae frowned at Baekhyun and forcefully poked Baekhyun's chest, huffing before crossing his arms. Baekhyun couldn't help but chuckle at how childish Jongdae looked. Jongdae narrowed his eyes and shoved Baekhyun again. "Aye! Hajima!" Jongdae chucked his chin out at him and poked him, daring him to retaliate. "I'm warning you." Baekhyun pointed at him, then stepped back when Jongdae looked ready to poke him again, "Don't..." Jongdae took a step closer and this time, Baekhyun saw a glint of cheekiness in Jongdae, "Don't..." Jongdae grinned and shoved him hard before running away, back to the team. Baekhyun got his balance back and growled, "This means war!" He yelled as he gave chase.
The team were waiting quietly when Sehun saw it first. He frowned at a sight he never thought he would see. Jongdae was running towards them at full speed, grinning from ear to ear, "Mwo?" He pushed himself off the grass, "What's he doing?"
Junmyeon frowned, confused as well. He'd never seen Jongdae looking so cheeky. Jongdae waved at them with both his arms. "Jongdae?"
"Why is he running?" Luhan frowned and then saw Baekhyun behind him, "Why is Baekhyun chasing him?"
Jongdae reached Minseok and ran behind him, holding the eldest member in front of him as a shield. Minseok tried to turn around but Jongdae held him by the shoulders, turning this way and that to stay behind him. "What are you..." He was shocked when he started spinning because Baekhyun had reached them and was trying to get at Jongdae, "I'm getting dizzy!"
Jongin was laughing, "What did Jongdae hyung do?"
"This little brat kept poking me." Baekhyun tried to lunge at Jongdae but Minseok was actively helping him now, "I warned him. Get away, hyung!"
Minseok laughed, enjoying this game of Mother Hen, "You need to get past me to get to him."
Sehun's eyes widened when he recognised the game and squeezed himself between Minseok and Jongdae forming another barrier for Baekhyun to reach behind, "Traitor!" Baekhyun called. One by one, the chicks behind Minseok grew until eleven members were lined up, playing Mother Hen. They laughed and played like school boys in a school yard.
Finally, they collapsed on the grass, huffing and grinning. Minseok turned his head to Jongdae. Jongdae was laughing silently. He'd never seen Jongdae so happy. It was contagious and bright. This is the real Kim Jongdae. "That was fun." Jongdae nodded, still grinning, "We should do this more often. All of us, especially you. You're more playful than I expected." Jongdae rolled onto his stomach and sighed contently. He hadn't had this much fun in months.
"There are so many games I can think of!" Sehun huffed, laughing.
"Yeah, and with twelve of us, it'll be even more fun." Jongin giggled, "Why didn't we play like this earlier? It's more fun than video games."
"I wouldn't say that." Chanyeol loved computer games, "But it's just as fun."
Junmyeon sat up, "I think it's time to head back. We've been here a while now."
Kris stood and brushed himself off before pulling Tao to his feet, "Yeah, let's go." Slowly, they got off the ground. Jongdae was the last to stand. His grin faded as he looked up at the studio building, nervously.
Junmyeon gave his shoulder a squeeze, "You don't need to come with us. You can go to the dorm first. Our teacher doesn't expect you to come back anyway. He wants you to rest." Jongdae looked at his hands. They started trembling. Jongdae sighed. He hasn't even taken a step towards the studio yet. How was he supposed to train when he couldn't even enter the building? "Hey." Junmyeon turned him by the shoulders, "Take your time. We'll help you. Why don't you go back to the dorms with Baekhyun and Jongin? It's just dance practice and those two know most of the routine already." Jongdae shook his head, pouting. Junmyeon smiled. This must be the whiny Jongdae his mother was talking about. "Dr Kang wants you to rest. I know you feel fine now, but almost dying isn't something a game of Mother Hen can help you get over." Jongdae looked down at his trembling hands again. Junmyeon followed his line of sight and held his hands still, "We're all here to help you. The trembling will stop. But not overnight." Junmyeon turned to Baekhyun, "Take him home. We'll come home after practice with dinner."
"Ye! Let's go, Jongdae!" Baekhyun poked him in the arm with both his index fingers, "Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Jongdae shoved his hands away, narrowing his eyes at him. "Mwo? You did it to me first." Jongdae rubbed his arm and stuck his tongue out at Baekhyun.
Jongin chuckled and swung his arm over Jongdae's shoulder, "Ignore him, hyung. He can be really annoying."
"Hey, I'm your hyung as well, be respectful." Baekhyun playfully admonished Jongin.
SM Dormitory...
Jongdae looked up at the building and then down at his hands. They weren't shaking. He almost sagged in relief. The dorm was different. He didn't know what he would do if it was another trigger. Baekhyun tilted his head, watching him curiously with patience. Jongdae frowned at him and pouted. Baekhyun chuckled at how cute he was, "Are we just going to stand here?" Jongdae chucked his chin at him and stomped into the building. Baekhyun turned to Jongin and rolled his eyes, "He's a bigger baby than Sehun."
Jongdae stopped when he saw Hyun behind the front desk. He grinned and walked up to him, bowing. Hyun looked him up and down and smiled, "You're very different from when I left you." Jongdae nodded and then hugged him, shocking the man. He chuckled after getting over his shock and ruffled Jongdae's hair, "You're welcome." Jongdae pulled back, looking very shy all of a sudden and bowed again before running to the lifts.
Jongin smiled at Jongdae, who was pressing the lift button over and over again. "Hyung," Jongin bowed to the security guard before walking over to Jongdae, "That doesn't make the lift come faster."
Baekhyun approached the security guard, "Thank you for what you did for Jongdae. He's letting us help him now."
Hyun shook his head, "I just reminded him of something he already knew. You boys are good."
"Hyung, the lift is here." Jongin called.
"Gomaseumnida, ahjussi." Baekhyun bowed before he ran off, "Coming!"
Hyun sat back in his seat, proud that he was able to help these boys.
Jongdae stretched and dropped into the couch, grinning. He'd never felt this comfortable in the dorms. This was the first time it felt like home. He hugged a cushion and laid on his side, smiling contently. Baekhyun and Jongin chuckled at this childish side of Jongdae. "I think the lack of oxygen from last night is getting to him." Baekhyun mumbled, jumping when Jongdae shot up, glaring at him, "What? It's true. You're so different." Jongdae huffed, annoyed that he couldn't talk and tell Baekhyun off. He hugged the pillow and pouted again. "Your mum told us you whine a lot when you're not well. I guess this is your silent version of whining." Jongdae looked up at him and mouthed, petulantly, I feel fine! Baekhyun grinned, "So this is your normal whiny self?" Jongdae looked at him deadpan, giving up talking to Baekhyun. There was no point. Baekhyun was an expert talker.
"Leave him alone." Jongin shoved Baekhyun aside and sat down next to Jongdae, "Are you hungry? There's tofu soup in the fridge." Jongdae smiled sweetly at him and nodded. "I'll heat it up."
Baekhyun took Jongin's seat, becoming more serious. "How are you feeling?"
Jongdae smiled and signed, okay.
Baekhyun sat back and gave a big sigh of relief, "Thank you for being so forgiving, Jongdae." Jongdae's eyes widened at him, unsure of how to reply. "Thank you for giving us a second chance." Jongdae grinned and pointed to himself. Baekhyun thought about what Jongdae was trying to tell him, "You're giving yourself a second chance?" He guessed. Jongdae nodded. Baekhyun was amused. Jongdae yoyo-ed between being a kid to a mature adult in seconds. "I guess you are."
Studio...
Junmyeon glared at their managers. The team was furious. They were just given news about Chinhwa. He was released due to no 'serious' harm being done, he was young and this was his first offense. "No serious harm?" Chanyeol growled incredulously, "How can they say that? If it wasn't for us, Jongdae would be dead! Does Jongdae need to be dead for the police to do something?!"
"There's nothing we can do." Hyunkyun told them, "He is the only son from a rich family. They made sure he got off."
"You're trying to tell us that SM, the biggest studio in South Korea, can't do a thing?" Kris shook his head, "That's ridiculous."
"More like they're choosing to do nothing because we're just trainees and they don't give a damn about us!" Luhan hissed.
"Alright," Junmyeon stopped the team before they said something to get them kicked out. There was no point complaining to their managers anyway. They had as much power as any of them, "It's done. We should be thinking about how to tell Jongdae."
"How is Jongdae?" Minwook asked.
"He's recovering but this is going to set him back days!" Minseok growled, "We just got him to trust us!"
"Look..." Hyunkyun sighed, "I know it's unjust but Chinhwa isn't allowed within the vicinity of any SM property. He's gone from your lives. Don't dwell on it. If I were you, I wouldn't tell Jongdae."
Junmyeon shook his head his manager, "This is our team. I think we know the best way of dealing with this."
Minwook nodded and tapped Hyunkyun's shoulder, "Leave them alone. We have stuff to do." Hyunkyun sighed. He liked these boys and wanted to best for them but Minwook was right, they needed time to digest what was happening.
"What are we going to do?" Sehun turned to the eldest members.
"We're going back to the dorms. I'm not making any decisions without the others." Junmyeon was adamant about that.
"Then at least decide whether or not we should tell Jongdae." Minseok insisted, "We can't discuss anything at the dorm if we decide not to tell him."
Junmyeon frowned. He was sure they would be telling Jongdae. This was his life after all. He was the one who was wronged in all of this. "What do you think?" Junmyeon asked him, cautiously.
Minseok looked torn. He felt the need to protect Jongdae from this but there was no way of keeping it from him either, "We must tell him. If he finds out we knew and didn't tell him, he'll doubt his trust in us."
Junmyeon sighed in relief. At least they were in agreement with that. He will never believe that keeping the truth from a friend is the right thing to do. He turned to the others, "Are we in agreement?" They all nodded.
Chanyeol pulled out his phone. Baekhyun had sent him a message. "We should wait a couple of hours before we go back." He told the team, "Baekhyun says Jongdae fell asleep after having lunch. We shouldn't disturb him."
Junmyeon nodded, "Okay. Anyway, lunch sounds good. Let's go down to the cafeteria and then we'll head back after."
2 hours later...
They entered the dorm's common room, quietly. Baekhyun told them Jongdae had fallen asleep on the couch. Baekhyun looked up from the book he was reading and quickly put a finger to his lip, pointing at the couch opposite him. They walked around the couch and smiled at how peacefully Jongdae slept. "How is he?" Junmyeon whispered as he took a seat next to Baekhyun.
"He's tired." Baekhyun frowned, "Why are you guys back already?"
Minseok sat closest to Jongdae, sighing as he brushed Jongdae's hair from his eyes, "I wish you could stay this peaceful."
Baekhyun narrowed his eyes at the strange comment, "What's going on?"
"Where's Jongin?" Junmyeon asked instead.
"In his room."
"I'll get him." Sehun quietly ran up the stairs.
"Why do I have a bad feeling?" Baekhyun turned to Luhan, who looked angry. The whole team looked like they wanted to scream.
Jongin came down the stairs with Sehun, "Wae?" He looked at his watch, "It's only 4 o'clock."
Jongdae's eyes fluttered open at the voices around him. He blinked at the person sitting in front of him. "Min..." Then grimaced as he remembered why he hasn't been talking.
"Hey." Minseok smiled kindly and helped him sit up before handing him a glass of water.
Jongdae put the glass down and sat back, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He had a good sleep, but it didn't feel enough. He pulled Minseok back against the couch and snuggled into him, ready to go back to sleep.
Even the coolest of the team couldn't help but smile at how cute Jongdae was. Just like the others, Kris wished they didn't need to tell him what they knew. "Jongdae," He called, "Can you stay awake? We need to tell you something."
Jongdae's eyes slowly opened. He didn't like the tone of Kris's voice. He hugged Minseok's arm tighter as he looked around the room. Everyone was looking at him with concern. Jongdae looked up at Minseok and saw the same look. Jongdae shook his head. He didn't want to know. He buried his face in Minseok's shoulder.
Minseok reach up with his other hand and rested it on Jongdae's head, "It's okay. We're here with you. You're not alone."
Jongdae lifted his head, when he felt someone drop down on the other side of him. It was Luhan, "That's right. We're right here." Jongdae sat up, getting strength from the strongest person he knew. He took a deep breath and turned to Kris, then gave a firm nod.
Kris smiled proudly, "Remember, no matter what we tell you, you're safe in this building. We're here with you and Ahjussi is downstairs." Jongdae's eyes widened. How bad could this be? "They've dropped all charges against Chinhwa." Jongdae didn't react. He didn't move as he tried to comprehend what Kris was telling him. "Jongdae?"
Jongdae wasn't seeing the room anymore. He wasn't surrounded by the team. He was on the roof top. Chinhwa was running towards him. Ani...ani... His eyes were crazy, psychotic. His hands wrapped around his throat. Jongdae couldn't breathe.
"JONGDAE!" The team watched in horror as Jongdae's hands clawed at his throat, he eyes wide in horror. "JONGDAE!" Luhan pulled his hands down before he could tear the skin off his neck while Minseok tried to shake him from the waking nightmare. "It's not real! It's not real!" Jongdae couldn't hear him. He was consumed by that night.
Jongdae's expression was exactly as it was that night. Baekhyun could see it. Jongdae was reliving it all. Baekhyun rushed behind the couch Jongdae was on and spoke in his ear, "I'm here. Remember. You weren't alone on that rooftop. It's me, Baekhyun. I'm here." He looked up at Jongin, urging him forward to talk as well.
Jongdae heard a voice as he started losing consciousness; "It's me, Baekhyun. I'm here." Baekhyun? He looked around and saw him. He was fighting Chinhwa.
Chanyeol's eyes widened as he realised what Baekhyun was doing. He grabbed Sehun and pulled him to the floor in front of Jongdae. "Jongdae!" Chanyeol called, "It's okay. I'm here with Sehun and Jongin."
"Hyung, we're here!" Jongin yelled desperately, "Sehun's going to help you. He has a chair. Remember?"
Jongdae saw them all. Four of them were trying to get Chinhwa off him. He saw the chair slam over Chinhwa's head.
"Jongdae!" Minseok gasped as Jongdae sucked in the air he needed. "Breathe...breathe." Jongdae's eyes were glazed over as he looked at Minseok. His breaths were coming in short gasps but at least he was breathing. Minseok brushed aside his sweat soaked fringe, "You're okay."
Jongdae felt weak...exhausted. He blinked at the figure in front of him. His vision darkened around the edges, "Jongdae?" Someone was shaking him.
"Jongdae!" Minseok called again as his friend's head dropped against his shoulder, losing consciousness.
"A-ssii!" Kris cursed. He didn't think Jongdae would react this way, "We shouldn't have told him."
Luhan pressed his fingers against Jongdae's brow, "He's running a fever." Baekhyun felt it for himself, confirming what Luhan said. "Good thinking. You saved him again." Luhan squeezed Baekhyun's shoulder.
Baekhyun shoved his hand off him, angrily, pushing himself off the back of the couch, "A little warning would've been nice!" He glared at the team. "This happened last night! It's too fresh to drop something like that on him."
"Calm down, Baekhyun." Chanyeol spoke calmly, "We all decided on telling him. Can you imagine what would've happened if he found out on his own?"
Baekhyun took deep breaths to calm himself down, "I'm not saying you shouldn't have told him but at least warn us!" He pointed to himself and Jongin. "My heart almost stopped hearing that and I wasn't the one who almost had my life choked out of me!"
"Can we talk about this later?" Minseok was holding Jongdae protectively with his arms around him. He gently stood and lowered Jongdae onto the couch. Luhan lifted his legs so that he was lying comfortably on the couch, "Is the doctor coming?" He asked Junmyeon who just got off the phone.
Junmyeon nodded, "He said to tend to the fever and keep him warm until he gets here."
"I'll get the water and towel." Yixing winced at the angry scratches on Jongdae's neck, "And some antiseptic cream."
Tao pulled the throwover from the other couch and handed it to Luhan. He and Minseok, laid it over Jongdae, ensuring he was warm. Minseok knelt at his head. "You'll be okay." Jongdae whimpered, flinching in his sleep. In a way, Minseok was relieved. It told him Jongdae wasn't completely unconscious. "It's okay." Minseok said again, combing his fingers through his hair but Jongdae shied away from him, "It's Minseok hyung. I'm here. You're safe." He continued combing his hair until Jongdae relaxed and fell into a deeper sleep. "That's it. You're safe."
Jongdae was still asleep when the doctor arrived. Dr Kang checked his vitals. "His blood pressure and temperature are high. Wake him up for me, please."
"Baekhyun, why don't you wake him? He might be less frightened because he remembers you saving him." Minseok suggested.
Baekhyun frowned, unsure but nodded. It made sense. Baekhyun knelt by Jongdae's head and gave his shoulder a gentle shake, "Jongdae," He called softly, "Wake up." Jongdae's brow furrowed but he didn't wake, "Come on, Jongdae. Dr Kang's here." He smiled when Jongdae's eyes fluttered open, "Hey."
Jongdae blinked tiredly at Baekhyun. Tears came to his eyes as he remembered what happened. He looked frantically around the room searching for the man who tried to kill him. Baekhyun shook his head, guessing who Jongdae was looking for, "He's not here. This is our dorm and he's not allowed anywhere near here or the studio." He placed a hand against Jongdae's cheek and caressed it with his thumb, calming his friend, "You're safe. Dr Kang is here to check on you." He helped Jongdae to sit up before moving away for the doctor but felt something grab the back of his shirt. He turned to find Jongdae looking up at him, scared like a lost little boy. What was he thinking, leaving Jongdae when he was so scared? He sat back down and wrapped his arm around his shoulders before nodding to the doctor.
Dr Kang smiled at how protective this group was. None of them left and they surrounded Jongdae, as if he was a wounded soldier, "How are you feeling, Jongdae-ssi?"
Jongdae didn't want to talk to the doctor. He didn't want to talk to anyone outside of their group. He turned away from the doctor, burying his face in Baekhyun's shoulder. Baekhyun could feel him trembling. "It's okay." Baekhyun ran his hand up and down Jongdae's arm, "You just nod or shake your head." He turned to the doctor, "You can only ask yes or no questions anyway."
Dr Kang nodded, "Of course." He'd forgotten that Jongdae couldn't talk, "Are you feeling nauseous?" Jongdae shook his head. "Tired?" Nod. "Drained?" Nod. "Are you short of breath sometimes?"
"Only when something triggers last night's event." Junmyeon answered for Jongdae.
Baekhyun tightened his arms around Jongdae. He could feel Jongdae's breathing speed up, "Like right now."
Minseok walked around the couch and placed a comforting hand on Jongdae's shoulder, "Take deep breaths, Jongdae. Remember, you're with us."
Baekhyun smiled as Jongdae's breathing starting slowing down. He nodded to Minseok. The doctor smiled. Jongdae was in good hands. "I think I've seen enough. I'm going to leave a bottle of valium. It'll help him relax. Keep doing what you are doing. I think you're the best medicine for him. If his fever doesn't come down by tomorrow night, call me. For now, Tylenol should be enough to help him."
Junmyeon stood and saw the doctor out, "Gomaseumnida, seonsaengnim."
Baekhyun kept rubbing his hand up and down Jongdae's arm, soothingly. "Dr Kang's gone." He didn't rush Jongdae. Nobody did. They waited patiently.
Jongdae finally lifted his head from Baekhyun's shoulder. He looked up at him with those lost eyes again. He couldn't stop the hitch in his breathing. "It's just us. You can cry if you need to." Baekhyun told him, opening the floodgates. Jongdae hugged him tight as he sobbed into his shoulder. He'd never felt this scared in his life. The episode he had was so real, he couldn't pull himself out of it. He could feel Chinhwa's hands, he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to go through that again. He didn't want to relive it. "I'm scared. I'm so scared!" He cried hard, "I keep seeing his eyes. I keep feeling his fingers. I can hear his voice!"
Kris clenched his jaw. Angry tears ran down his face. Tao turn and cried into Kris's shoulder but Kris didn't have it in him to comfort the boy. Yixing turned away, unable to watch Jongdae fall apart. Chanyeol's wet eyes burned. Jongin pulled Sehun into his arms, providing and giving what little comfort he could give. Junmyeon knew how much the team wanted Chinhwa to pay. He felt the same way but Jongdae needed them to help him through this, not get themselves into trouble for him. He wiped away his tears, determined to be strong for their teammate, "There are twelve of us. We're going to help you, Jongdae. The pain you're feeling right now, we're going to divide it by twelve. You're never alone." The teams heads came up at Junmyeon's words. He was right. Jongdae didn't need them to get angry for him, he needed them...just them.
Baekhyun hugged him as tight as he could, proving to Jongdae that he was safe. They will help Jongdae through this. He could feel Jongdae grip his shirt as he held on as tight as possible. "Let me take some of your pain, Jongdae."
Minseok gripped Jongdae's shoulder, "We're here, Jongdae. We're right here. I'm right here. Let your big brother help you."
"Nobody can hurt you here."
"None of it was real, Jongdae." Kyungsoo told him, "Chinhwa wasn't here. He wasn't choking you. Don't focus on that memory, focus on what you feel now. Baekhyun's arms are around you. Minseok's hand is on your shoulder." Kyungsoo placed his hand over Jongdae's fists. "Can you feel my hand?" He asked, "Can you feel the team around you? Focus on us. Don't trust your mind, trust your heart."
The team gathered around Jongdae, providing warmth and protection. Jongdae did feel it. He felt everyone's love for him, he felt their need to take care of him, to keep him safe...to share his fears. Jongdae's breathing calmed. He pulled back from Baekhyun and took in his brothers surrounding him. He was still scared but he had the protection of his brothers. Gomaseumnida, he mouthed.
Junmyeon could tell by the glaze in Jongdae's eyes, despite his and their words, that he was feeling lathargic, "Go upstairs and sleep, Jongdae. I'll be up in a second." Jongdae's eyes widened in fear and shook his head, thinking Junmyeon expected him to go up on his own. Junmyeon smiled, "Jongin will go with you. We haven't had dinner yet. We'll organise it and bring the food to your room." Jongdae looked up at Jongin, who was smiling at him, kindly. He was one of the four on the roof who saved him. Jongdae turned back to Baekhyun, who was giving him an encouraging smile, then searched the room for Chanyeol and Sehun. He would feel safer with all four of them but they were in their dorm and Chinhwa wasn't anywhere in sight. Plus, he didn't want Jongin to feel bad. He tried to push himself off the couch but it felt like all his strength left him. He was confused when Jongin knelt with his back to him.
"Get on. I'll piggyback you up to the room." Jongin told him. Jongdae scratched his head, unsure if he should take the offer. He wasn't a kid. "Jump on, hyung!"
Minseok chuckled and helped Jongdae, "It's not often he offers so you better make the most of it."
Jongdae sighed and rested his head on Jongin's shoulder as he carried him upstairs, no longer feeling embarrassed. He was too tired.
The team sat down as soon as Jongdae and Jongin were out of sight. They knew Junmyeon had more than just dinner to discuss. "This is the plan, Luhan, Kris, Yixing, Tao and Minseok stay while we practice, then we swap at 3pm." He made eye contact with every member to ensure there were no objections. When there wasn't, he continued, "Jongdae can't go back to the studio until he stops having nightmares here. From what I can see, he feels safe here with us, so this is going to be his practice studio until he recovers. Minseok, Yixing, Jongin and Sehun are our dancers. They can help him."
Kris smiled. Junmyeon was a natural leader. If they debuted, there would be no doubt that he would be leader, "Good plan."
Junmyeon sighed, "I don't want to give the company any excuse to take Jongdae off the team; not after everything he's going through."
"Do you think they would?" Minseok asked. The thought never even crossed his mind.
"This situation has already taken too long and is causing too much trouble. I wouldn't put it past the company." Luhan growled, "They should've known better than to put a man like Chinhwa against Jongdae."
"We need to focus on Jongdae. The company can deal with Chinhwa if he causes trouble." Junmyeon didn't want them to focus on Chinhwa otherwise the discussion would become heated. "We are never to leave Jongdae alone. He needs to always feel safe around us and hopefully, when we can finally leave him alone, he'll still feel secure because he trusts us."
"Then I think we should start with me, Chanyeol, Jongin and Sehun staying with him tonight." It didn't go unnoticed that Jongdae wanted all four of them to go to the room with him. Baekhyun saw how he searched the room for them. "He didn't say anything, probably because he didn't want to hurt Jongin's feelings." It could just as easily be because Jongdae was still too shy to ask them, but Baekhyun knew it wasn't. Jongdae was thoughtful, even in the state he was in.
Minseok agreed, "They're who he feels safest with at the moment and considering this is the first night after receiving the news, he's going to have nightmares."
Junmyeon smiled. This was a great team. When they get through this, they would come out stronger. He had a feeling this team would go far because of this. "Then it's settled. Why don't the three of you head upstairs now and set the rooms up? I'll stay in Chanyeol and Baekhyun's room. The rest of us can work out dinner." The three boys didn't even give them their orders. They ran upstairs to be with their teammates.
When they got to the room, Jongin was tending to Jongdae's fever with a towel and ice water. A towel was laid across his brow, while he used another to wipe around his neck and chest, being gentle of the scratches around his neck. Sehun grinned, "Who knew Jongin could take care of other people?" He whispered. Jongin rolled his eyes at the youngest.
"How is he?"
"His temperature is 38. I gave him Tylenol and the valium before he fell asleep but it hasn't kicked in yet." Jongin told them.
"Okay. Keep watching him, we're going to grab our things and stay here for the night." Baekhyun explained to him why. Jongin nodded. It made sense.
Chanyeol shook his head at the mess on Junmyeon side of the room, "This guy can assess any situation and solve it but when it comes to his room, he's a mess!"
"We'll just wrap everything in his blanket and take it to our room." Baekhyun frowned, "How do you and Jongdae put up with this?"
"Well, Junmyeon has been here the longest and I'm the youngest in the room so I don't say anything. Jongdae hyung...well...he doesn't talk." Jongin shrugged.
"You wait until he does." Baekhyun looked around Jongdae and Jongin's side of the room. It was neat and tidy, "No way someone as tidy as Jongdae can deal with this for much longer."
"Yeah, Jongdae hyung tidies my stuff as well because we're on the same side of the room. He's also very good at knowing what he should move and what he shouldn't. My keys, phone, family photos and anything else that's important never gets moved." Jongin smiled, "It's nice being in the same room. He takes care of me." Then he laughed, "But not Junmyeon hyung. Jongdae avoids his side of the room like the plague."
"I can see why." Chanyeol and Baekhyun grabbed the corners of the blanket, dragging it and everything on it to their room, "You don't think there's a creature in here, do you? I don't want it in our room if there is."
"Heck, he could hide a dog in there and we wouldn't notice." Baekhyun mumbled as they left the room. Sehun left the room to get his things, laughing.
Minseok was right about the nightmares. As the Tylenol wore off and Jongdae's fever reached its peak, the nightmares came. He tossed in his bed, throwing the towel and kicking off his blanket. Baekhyun groaned at the blanket that fell on his head. He pulled it off and was about to turn away when he heard the panicked breathing from the bed. He shook Chanyeol's shoulder before rushing to get up, "Jongdae." Baekhyun grabbed the flailing arms that almost smacked him in the face, "Jongdae, you're okay. Listen to my voice." Jongdae whimpered as he fought the person holding him.
"Jongdae." Chanyeol ran to the other side of the bed and wrapped the smaller man in his arms, cradling him as he spoke gently, "You're safe. Remember where you are. Baekhyun and I are here with you." He looked up to find that Jongin and Sehun were also awake, "Jongin and Sehun are here to protect you as well."
Baekhyun wiped a cool towel over Jongdae's brow and around his neck and chest, "Chanyeol's arms are around you. He's strong. Anyone who wants to hurt you will need to get through him and trust me, no one is getting through him."
"Or me." Jongin promised.
"Or me." Sehun added, "I can take care of you, hyung."
Chanyeol felt Jongdae relax in his arms. Baekhyun smiled, relieved that they were enough to pull Jongdae from his nightmare, "He's really warm." Chanyeol was sweating from the heat and it was in the middle of winter.
Baekhyun popped out two Tylenol and a valium before waking Jongdae, gently shaking the man in Chanyeol's arms. Jongdae's eyes slowly opened. He was clearly unaware of what was happening. "Take these." Jongdae opened his mouth, obediently, taking the capsules. "Drink." Jongdae did, sighing at the cool water. Once he was done, he turned in Chanyeol's arms and snuggled into the warmth of his chest, promptly falling asleep again. "Looks like I'm the only without a bed tonight." Baekhyun smiled at how comfortable Jongdae looked.
Chanyeol gently maneuvered himself so that he could comfortably lie down with Jongdae using him as a pillow, "Is he still asleep?" He whispered.
Jongin nodded, "Do you want the blanket?"
"Just cover him. His fever is keeping me warm." Chanyeol answered.
Jongin and Sehun covered Jongdae while Chanyeol tucked it around his shoulders. Baekhyun grinned at the sight, "You two look very cozy." He grabbed his phone and turned on the camera.
"Don't you dare!" Chanyeol hissed.
"What are you going to do about it?" Baekhyun took the picture, knowing Chanyeol wouldn't risk waking Jongdae.
Jongin and Sehun got back on to their beds, laughing, "You're so mean."
"It's a touching picture." Baekhyun insisted cheekily as he got back under his blanket, "Go to sleep everyone."
"You're dead." Chanyeol threatened before closing his eyes.
Minseok quietly opened the door to Jongdae's room. Chanyeol was already up and about to throw a pillow at Baekhyun to wake him when he saw Minseok. "I'll wake..." Minseok started when Chanyeol threw the pillow anyway, "...him." He chuckled at Baekhyun shooting up from his sleep at the shock of the flying pillow.
"Huh? What?" Baekhyun looked around in a daze.
"Get up, Baekhyun. You need to head to the studio." Minseok whispered as he grabbed Baekhyun by both his arms and yanked him to his feet. "Go!" He shoved Baekhyun out the door, then proceeded to wake Jongin. Sehun was already up and having breakfast after his morning jog. Jongin was not a morning person. He groaned as he climbed down, almost falling off. Minseok winced when he landed on the floor with a thud. "Sshh!" Minseok admonished as he steadied Jongin, "Why do you sleep on the top bunk when you're never awake enough to get down safely in the mornings?"
Jongin scratched his head, "Ah...that's probably why Jongdae hyung wanted to swap with me."
"Why didn't you?"
Jongin yawned, "I like the top bunk."
Minseok shoved him out the door, "Go get ready." Then he turned to Chanyeol, wondering how to get Chanyeol out of his predicament without waking Jongdae. Minseok picked up the pillow Chanyeol had thrown at Baekhyun and gently lifted the arm Jongdae had on Chanyeol's chest, tucking the pillow under it. He lifted Jongdae's head and moved the pillow a little more until it was under Jongdae's head. "Can you get out?" Minseok asked Chanyeol.
Chanyeol nodded and slipped out from under Jongdae while gently lowering the pillow to the bed. He sighed when Jongdae only stirred a little. Chanyeol grinned, "Thanks, hyung."
"How was he?" Minseok asked before Chanyeol could leave the room.
"You were right. He had a nightmare but we pulled him out of it. His fever broke some time afterwards." Chanyeol report. He slapped Minseok's arm, "Take care of him until we get back."
Minseok sat on Junmyeon's bed, listening to music while he waited for Jongdae to wake up. It was almost 10 a.m. before he did. Jongdae was an early riser. Sleeping in this late was testament to how ill he was. Jongdae groaned as he sat up, staring into space while he slowly woke from his daze. Minseok waited patiently. Jongdae turned his head and blinked at Minseok. He was about to greet him when Minseok put out a hand to stop him, "Don't talk." Jongdae pouted and waved instead. Minseok walked over and sat in front of Jongdae. It seemed like Jongdae's temporarily forgotten about yesterday. He waited again, knowing Jongdae would remember any second now. Jongdae frowned before his eyes widened. He gripped Minseok's arm and shut his eyes, trying his best to control his breathing. He's not here. He's not here. He's not here. He repeated to himself. He tried his hardest to remember Junmyeon and Kyungsoo's words. There are twelve of us. We can divide the pain. It's all in my mind. Chinhwa is not here. My brothers are. When he got his breathing under control, he opened his eyes again. Minseok was looking at him proudly, "You're stronger than we give you credit for." Jongdae shook his head. He mimed sleeping and then reached his hand up high. Minseok chuckled, "I didn't think you would remember sleeping on Chanyeol." He waved his hands around his head. "You remember through the haze that he was taking care of you." Jongdae nodded. "Are you feeling better?" Jongdae shrugged. "Kyungsoo made you congee before he left. I'll help you get ready and then you can have breakfast." Jongdae nodded.
Jongdae was surprised to find Kris, Yixing, Luhan and Tao downstairs, practicing. The couch and TV were moved to the sides of the room. Jongdae tilted his head at them. "Jongdae! I heated up the congee for you. It's on the kitchen bench." Yixing called out to him as he danced. Jongdae smiled and nodded. "Where's Minseok? He needs to practice at some point otherwise our managers won't let him stay here with you."
"Yeah, the deal was, we stay here with you but practice. After breakfast, you can practice with us if you're up to it." Luhan grinned, "Yixing and Minseok are responsible for helping you."
"But don't push yourself." Kris ordered, "If you get tired, rest."
"Ye, hyung. Junmyeon hyung told us to take care of you. If he came home to find you passed out, we're in trouble." Tao told him seriously.
"He was joking, Tao." Minseok came down the stairs, laughing.
"You weren't here when he told me. He's serious." Tao insisted.
Jongdae smiled as he watched the team banter and practise from the kitchen bench. The congee was perfect. He poured himself a milk, frowning at the slight shake of his hands. He sighed. How could he practise if he couldn't even pour a glass of milk? "Jongdae!" Jongdae jumped at the call of his name. He narrowed his eyes at Kris, who was laughing at how startled he was. He chucked his chin at him. Mwo? "Take it slowly." Kris told him, "We'll get in trouble for not practicing, you will get in trouble if you practice before you're ready." Jongdae sighed and lifted his shaking hand, showing them to the others.
Luhan grimaced sympathetically and then walked over, pulling him over to the couch, "Sit down and watch. Learn what you can from observing us and then join in when you're ready. If you can't today, there is tomorrow and the next day and the day after that." Luhan ruffled his hair, "You'll get better, okay?" Jongdae smiled and gave an okay sign. "Good. Now pay attention." Minseok smiled at the way Luhan managed to get Jongdae to rest but still be a part of practise.
Half an hour later Minseok noticed Jongdae daydreaming. There was only so much watching he could do. He turned to Luhan and gave him a cheeky look before deliberately stepping back onto Tao's toe. "Ya! Hyung, what are you doing?"
"Ah...sorry, Tao. I didn't see you there."
"Of course, you didn't see me, you don't have eyes at the back of your head, but I've been positioned behind you for half an hour now. You know I'm here." Luhan saw how Minseok was glancing over at Jongdae as Tao told him off. Luhan could see that they had peaked Jongdae's interest.
"Yeah, Minseok, you should be more care..." Luhan stepped to his side and bumped Yixing into Kris.
"Yah! What's wrong with you two?"
"Sorry, sorry." Luhan bowed at Kris who was too close and head-butted him. "Ow! Kris, be careful." He rubbed his head.
"Me!" Kris complained, "What the heck is wrong with you?"
Minseok turned to Jongdae who was holding his stomach, laughing. He grinned at Luhan, who was still rubbing his head but smiling. It worked. Yixing frowned at the two eldest members and then turned to Jongdae. "Ah..." He realised what they were doing, "Aye! Jongdae! You laughing at us?" Jongdae nodded happily. Yixing smiled, "That's okay then."
"Aye!" Kris was still rubbing his forehead, "You couldn't find a less painful way of making him laugh." He couldn't help smiling at the amusement Jongdae found in this. He shook his head sadly at him, "You find our pain funny. That's something I've learned about you today."
Jongdae stood and ran up to them, pointing to himself. Minseok looked down at Jongdae's hands. They weren't trembling. He smiled and nodded, "Let's practise! You're here." He moved Jongdae to the spot between himself and Luhan, "Have you been paying attention?" Jongdae nodded confidently.
"We'll see..." Luhan challenged him. Jongdae chucked out his chin smugly, accepting his challenge.
The team was taking a break when the other half returned. Jongdae sat up, excited. He waved at them as they entered. Baekhyun walked behind the bench and hugged Jongdae from behind, "You look much better than this morning."
"Yeah," Chanyeol reached across the bench and pressed a hand against his forehead, "Much better."
"How was practise?" Kris asked, "Did you learn a new routine?"
"Yeah," Jongin cheered, "And it's a good one." Jongdae's eyes sparkled at the idea of learning a new routine. He waved his hands at Jongin, getting his attention and then pointed at himself. "Don't worry. You'll be better than these guys after Sehun and I are done with you." Jongdae clapped his hands, excited.
"You boys better go. The managers are waiting downstairs." Junmyeon told them.
The morning crew grabbed their bread rolls and took it with them, "See you when we get back." Minseok turned to Jongdae, "Take it easy. You worked hard today." Jongdae nodded and waved at them. He turned to Junmyeon and the others, pointing to his bowl.
Junmyeon shook his head, "We ate before coming back."
Jongdae rushed around the island bench and hugged Kyungsoo. He pointed at his empty bowl and held his thumbs up. Kyungsoo smiled, "You're welcome."
"Let's rest for half an hour and then we'll show Jongdae the new routine." Junmyeon suggested.
Jongdae bounced, excited. "You're a lot different from yesterday." Chanyeol chuckled at how childish Jongdae looked.
Jongdae wrapped his arms around Sehun and then pointed at all of them and then at himself. Baekhyun narrowed his eyes, "You feel safe with us around." Jongdae nodded and then pointed at the floor. "In our dorm." Again, Jongdae nodded, then danced a couple of steps from practise. "Practising keeps your mind off everything that's happened." He guessed again. Jongdae grinned at him and pointed between his and Baekhyun's head. Baekhyun nodded, understanding, "Great minds think alike," he said making Jongdae chuckle silently.
"Do you think you'd feel safe at the studio with us?" Junmyeon was curious.
"One step at a time." Baekhyun cautioned, "I think we should wait another day or two before we try that."
Jongdae peeked at Junmyeon, seeing if he was okay with waiting that long. Junmyeon smiled at him, "I'm just impatient. Don't rush because of us. Make sure you're ready, otherwise going there will be worse for you." Jongdae nodded earnestly.
Minseok poked his head into Junmyeon's room and smiled at the five boys sleeping soundly. Jongdae was using Baekhyun as a pillow this time. Minseok had a feeling there would be no nightmares tonight. He carefully shut the door.
"He's fine." Minseok jumped at the voice from next door. It was Kyungsoo, chuckling at his startled expression.
"Don't do that!" Minseok pat his chest to calm his racing heart, "How was he today?"
"We let him practise for about a couple of hours and then Junmyeon ordered him to rest. He's quite stubborn when he wants to be." Kyungsoo told him, "He refused to come up and rest until it was time for bed."
"Did he pout all day?" Minseok chuckled.
"Half the day." Kyungsoo grinned.
"He has an appointment with Dr Kang tomorrow. Hopefully he's allowed to talk." Minseok looked amused, "I want to hear him whine. I have a feeling it could get on a few of our nerves."
"Why do you look happy about that?"
Minseok shrugged, "Whining means he's comfortable with us."
"You better get some sleep."
"You too. Good night."
Jongdae winced as Dr Kang put pressure where the bruises were, "How sore was your throat when you woke up this morning? 0 for no pain and 5 for extremely painful." Jongdae held up two fingers. Dr Kang nodded, "It seems like you're recovering well. Can you say a few words for me?"
Jongdae looked over at Minseok and smiled, "Minseok hyung." Then grimaced at the pain. Minseok couldn't help but smile, despite the obvious pain it caused Jongdae. He was proud that Jongdae chose to speak his name first.
"How was the pain?" Dr Kang asked. Jongdae held up 3 fingers. "That's normal because you haven't used your voice for two days. You can start talking but don't strain it. Speak softly and then slowly bring up the volume. No singing yet." Minseok giggled when Jongdae pouted and let out a loud huff at the doctor. "If you want to sing sooner rather than later, you will do as I say." Dr Kang was used to celebrities but he rarely got ones who protested as cutely as Jongdae.
"Ye." Jongdae promised.
"This is more ibuprofen for your throat. How have you been sleeping?"
"He's sleeping well. We make sure of it." Minseok answered for Jongdae.
Dr Kang seemed satisfied, "Sounds like you're in good hands. Take it easy and I'll see you in a week."
"Gomaseumnida." Minseok and Jongdae bowed before they left the room.
"It's good to hear your voice again." Kris smiled when Jongdae arrived home and greeted them.
Jongdae smiled, shyly, scratching his head. He was a little embarrassed because they were all smiling at him the way Kris was, "I...I still can't ss...sing." Jongdae told them in his hoarse voice. Kris winced at the stuttering but he knew that would go away soon. Jongdae just needed to get used to talking again.
"You will." Luhan told him, confidently, which gave him the confidence to believe that as well. Luhan had that effect on him. "The others can't wait to get back to talk to you."
"I'm just g...gglad I don't need t...to sign anymore." Jongdae chuckled, "Are we p...practising our new r...rroutine?"
"Yep, let's get into place!" Kris clapped.
One week later, Jongdae was on the way to the studio. They all decided as a team that it was time to try getting Jongdae back to his regular schedule, starting with returning to the studio. They were already sleeping in their own rooms again and Jongdae didn't need anyone to sleep with him. When they discussed returning, Jongdae's hands didn't shake but they did now.
Baekhyun looked over at Jongdae and reached over, gripping his hand, "Don't be scared. We're all here." Jongdae gave him an unsure smile.
The van came to a stop in the studio garage. Everyone got out of the van, except Jongdae. Jongdae didn't move. Minseok smiled when Jongdae closed his eyes, "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this."
Baekhyun stepped up to Minseok, "What's he doing?" He whispered.
"Gathering his courage." Minseok answered. He remembered Jongdae doing the same thing the morning after he found out Chinhwa was released, "Give him time and he'll come out."
Jongdae slowly opened his eyes and looked out the van. His friends were standing there, smiling at him. They waited patiently. Nobody pushed him or rushed him. Not even the managers who always seemed to be in a rush. Jongdae knew he could do this. He could fight his fears because he had the team. He took a breath and got out of the van. "Let's go."
One hour later...
Jongdae was sweating from the dancing but he'd never felt so good in this studio. He was relaxed and that helped him show his full potential. The choreographer was impressed as he walked around to monitor their dancing. He nodded to Jongdae, "Welcome back. The rest did you good." That motivated Jongdae even more and his efforts increased.
The team couldn't stop grinning during their break. They've never seen Jongdae like this. Junmyeon couldn't believe they almost chose Chinhwa over Jongdae. It would've been the biggest mistakes of their lives. Jongdae was the perfect fit for the team.
Jongdae was smiling dopily as he ate his jjajangmyeon. Baekhyun nudged Chanyeol with his elbow, bringing his attention to Jongdae who hadn't noticed his teammates grinning, "Hey, Jongdae, who are you thinking about? Is there a girl you fancy here?"
Jongdae went bright red and shook his head, not understanding where the question was coming from. He never really noticed the girl trainees. Minseok rolled his eyes at Baekhyun, "Grow up, Baekhyun." He turned to Jongdae, "Ignore him."
Jongdae pouted and returned to his lunch, still flushed, "I don't talk to the girls." He mumbled as he glared at Baekhyun.
Baekhyun chuckled, "I was joking." He apologised, "The way you were smiling...I thought you might be..."
"I wasn't!" Jongdae snapped at him, "I was just happy...until now."
"I'm sorry." Baekhyun walked over with his bowl and sat down next to Jongdae, "I'm happy too." He whispered to him, "You were amazing today." That got a smile out of Jongdae, "And when you start singing, you won't need to look at the girls, they will be..." The team burst out laughing when Jongdae shoved him, making him choke on his lunch.
"Serves you right, Baekhyun. You need to learn to shut up." Luhan threw an unused fork at him.
"Hey! I was just complimenting him." Baekhyun defended himself.
Chanyeol shook his head, "Your mouth is going to get you into trouble."
Baekhyun was about to refute when their manager walked in. He looked a little flustered.
"You boys need to stay in the studio for a little longer. There are a bunch of school girls and boys in front of the studio." Hyunkyun was about to walk back out when Junmyeon called to him.
"Are they here for Super Junior?" Junmyeon was curious. They always had crowds outside their studio because of their sunbae.
"Yes." Hyunkyun answered after a pause and then walked out.
Junmyeon looked around at the others, confused, "That was..."
"Ominous?" Kris put down his bowl and walked over to the window, "Wow! That is a crowd."
Tao joined him, "It looks like an entire school!"
They all looked out the windows, "Um..." Chanyeol grabbed his mobile and took a picture of one of the signs they were holding and then zoomed in, "Does that say, 'Kim Jongdae'?"
Jongdae spun around, "It says what?"
Baekhyun grabbed the phone and nodded, "It does." He showed Jongdae, who moved around the screen to read what was on another sign.
"Prove yourself." Jongdae read in a whisper.
"What?" Kris took the phone and read the signs, "What the hell is this? How do they know about you?" Jongdae shook his head, shaking.
"I know." Sehun recognised the school uniform. He'd seen it in photos. Photos of... "It's Chinhwa."
Minseok turned slowly and glared at Sehun, "What did you say?"
"They're from Chinhwa's school." Jongin remembered as well.
"Are you saying he's down there?" Minseok stormed towards the door.
"No!" Jongdae grabbed his arm, "Stay here, please." Minseok's expression softened. He could feel Jongdae shaking.
"It's okay." Minseok pulled him into his arms, "He can't hurt you here. I won't let him."
"He's not allowed near the studio. He's not down there. He set this up but he knows what the company would do if he's down there." Junmyeon placed a hand against Jongdae's back, "He's not here."
"He's a coward. He can't come here so he badmouths Jongdae to his friends and they come here for him." Chanyeol growled.
Luhan nodded, "He's a master manipulator. With his looks and charm, he can probably get his schoolmates to do anything for him. But no matter how much charm he has, he can never hide the ugly truth." He turned to Jongdae, "He's a coward who is also a sore loser. He is nothing."
Jongdae pulled back from Minseok and turned to the others. They looked at him with pride. They believed in him. They chose him. Minseok felt Jongdae stop shaking. Something in Jongdae changed. Jongdae took a deep breath and let it out, slowly, deliberately. It was as if he was exhaling all his doubts and fears, "He's the one who's wrong." Jongdae said, "So why am I the one hiding?"
Junmyeon narrowed his eyes, unsure of what Jongdae was thinking, "Jongdae?"
Jongdae turned to Junmyeon, "Will you stand with me?"
"What?"
"I'm going out there. Will you come with me?" Jongdae asked again.
Minseok smiled proudly, "Of course we will."
Junmyeon nodded, "You're right. He's the one who's wrong, so he's the one who should be hiding."
"We're with you." Kris stood with them and turned to the others, "Let's go and show them why we're here and Chinhwa is not!"
"And we better go before our managers can stop us." Baekhyun took Jongdae's arm, "Are you sure?" Jongdae nodded but Baekhyun could see how scared he was, "We have your back. Go show them what you can do. Go shut them up!" Jongdae nodded again, confident this time.
Jongdae stopped and almost turned around when he stepped out of the building. The crowd looked much more intimidating down here. He felt two hands on his back. Kris was on one side and Junmyeon on the other side. "You can do this." Kris told him, although Jongdae could hear the doubt in his voice. They were only trainees after all. They haven't been taught to deal with these situations.
"That's him!" Someone from the crowd called out, "It's Kim Jongdae!" The students started chanting. "Kim Jongdae! Prove yourself! Kim Jongdae! Prove yourself!"
The chanting made Jongdae angry. Chinhwa put his whole school up to this. He shouldn't have to prove himself but he wanted Chinhwa to see what he was made of. He wanted this entire crowd...a crowd Chinhwa sent, to go back to school and tell him that he was the one that should prove himself. It was time these school kids went home. Jongdae looked around and saw a van. Reporter van. Chinhwa was so sure Jongdae would embarrass himself that he even called in a news station. "That's okay." Jongdae said to himself, "I need a microphone anyway."
Baekhyun turned to where Jongdae was looking, "Yeah, you do." He ran over to the reporter, grabbing his microphone, "Get ready for your exclusive." He ran back and gave Jongdae the microphone. Jongdae took it in his shaking hands, "You can do this."
"Hey!" The team spun around. It was their managers. They didn't look happy but they were holding a large speaker and a microphone, "You boys are in massive trouble after this but if you are going to do something stupid, do it properly! That's a reporter's microphone, it won't make you heard over the crowd."
Baekhyun and Jongdae looked down at it, "Oh." Baekhyun took it back and ran it back to its owner, "Jeosonghaeyo." He bowed before running back.
Jongdae held the microphone Hyunkyun gave him, "Go and show them what Chinhwa can't do and then get back in here." Hyunkyun ordered.
Jongdae bowed, "Gomaseumnida."
The team stood back as Jongdae slowly walked forward towards the crowd. He didn't say anything to the chanting crowd. He didn't need to. The song was called, 'Fate', and as soon as the first words left Jongdae's lips, the crowd was silenced. Everyone was lost in Jongdae's voice. It was clear. It was flawless. Everything disappeared, leaving them in Jongdae's world. Tears rolled down cheeks and when Jongdae sang the last word of the song, they were left longing for more.
Jongdae let the microphone hang in his hand and he looked out into the sea of students. There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd. Even the boys had tears in their eyes.
Hyunkyun walked up to him and took the microphone from his hand. "Go inside with the boys." He told him, smiling proudly. Jongdae turned to his team. Minseok wiped at his tears and nodded for him to come back. Jongdae grinned and ran up to them and only then did the crowd erupt in applause.
"That was amazing!" Minseok pulled him into his arms.
They walked back into the building, chatting excitedly, "No wonder you couldn't describe what you heard!" Junmyeon slapped Sehun on the back, "That's impossible to describe."
"That was..." Kyungsoo smiled in amazement, "That was...perfect."
"TAKE THAT, CHINHWA!" Chanyeol yelled out the door before running up to Jongdae and lifting him off the floor, spinning around, "You showed them!"
Jongdae laughed, "Put me down! You're going make me sick."
"I am so proud of you!" Junmyeon hugged him, "I don't think I could've done what you did."
Jongdae ducked his head, shyly, "I couldn't have done it without all of you."
Luhan shook his head in awe, "I was so wrong about you. This is where you belong."
"Thank you." Jongdae was filled with so much joy and pride that he thought he would burst.
The team were still reeling from all the excitement of Jongdae's impromptu performance when the founder of SM entered the room. The group stood in stunned silence before Junmyeon nudged them and bowed to the respected elder. They all followed suit. "That was quite a performance out there, Jongdae-ssi." Jongdae felt as if his heart was going to burst from his chest. His mouth was so dry, he couldn't get it to work. "No need to be nervous. It was a compliment." Minseok put a hand on Jongdae's back, trying to calm the shaking even though he was nervous himself. Mr Lee chuckled at the silence in the room. "I'll make this short before you all pass out from not breathing." That got a small laugh from the group, making the atmosphere a little more relaxed. "I'm here to tell you that you will debut soon. Chinhwa has pushed our schedule up with all the commotion he is causing out there. I don't want the excitement of your debut to be diluted by the rumours he's spreading. Get ready boys. The next three weeks are going to be grueling but after that, the world will know who you are." They couldn't believe what they were hearing. Debut? They were going to debut? They silently looked at each other, not daring to believe it. Mr Lee grinned, "Go ahead. Celebrate. Yell, scream. You deserve it. Just don't over-do it. I don't want any more throat injuries." Jongdae ducked his head at that. "And wait for me to leave before you start celebrating. I'm not as young as I used to be." The team bowed as their boss left the room. Outside, Mr Lee couldn't help but laugh at the loud cheer that came from the practice studio. The celebration went into the night and the next morning. Nobody could sleep after the news.
"Hey Jongdae!" Chanyeol called out to Jongdae, who was lying down on the couch with his head on Baekhyun's lap, laughing at something Baekhyun was saying, "You're trending."
"Mwo?" Jongdae sat up for Chanyeol to sit next to him, sandwiching him between himself and Baekhyun, "What's this?"
"It's your performance from last night." By now the entire group was gathered around the couch, watching the online video. Jongdae's eyes widened at the amount of views; 150,000. "Check out the comments!"
Sweetest voice ever.
I think my ears are oozing honey.
Kim Jongdae can ring my bell any time.
Who is this guy and where has SM been keeping him?
Where can I find more of his songs?
I can't stop playing this song!
What is this song? I want to studio version!
"Wah...Jongdae, you're famous and we haven't even debuted!" Kris massaged Jongdae shoulders as he watched from behind him, feeling proud.
Jongdae scratched his head, a little embarrassed, a little shy and very proud, "Couldn't have done that without all of you at my back."
Junmyeon smiled at the modest boy, "Well then, it's a good thing we're a team because we'll always have your back."
Three weeks later...
Jongdae looked down into the streets below from the dorm balcony. It was 3 am and the street was quiet. Occasionally, a car would pass by but that was it. So, it was strange that one man would be standing, leaning against the railing that separated the footpath from the road. The young man was looking up at their building. Ten storeys high, Jongdae knew the man couldn't see him, especially since he didn't turn on the balcony light but the man was standing under a street light, as if he wanted to be seen. Jongdae knew who he was.
Chinhwa.
Jongdae could never forget the man's face or the way he stood, walked and talked. This man made his life a nightmare from the moment they met the team together. He clenched his hands into tight balls, stopping them from shaking. Jongdae hated that Chinhwa still had that effect on him. He knew why Chinhwa was here. Tomorrow, the team debuted. He was here as one last ditch to ruin it all for Jongdae.
Minseok woke up. It was hard for any of them to sleep. The excitement and nerves of their debut made it almost impossible to get any rest. He turned onto his side, hoping to get back to bed when heard footsteps outside his room. He smiled. Maybe chatting to whoever was out there could help him calm his nerves. He got up and found Junmyeon heading downstairs.
"Can't sleep?" Minseok asked him, "Me neither."
"I'm looking for Jongdae. He's not in his bed." Junmyeon told him, looking a little worried.
"I'm sure he's having trouble sleeping, like us. Let's go find him, together."
Jongdae turned at the call of his name. He smiled at his older brothers, "Hello."
Junmyeon turned on the balcony light, "Why are you standing here in the dark?" He frowned when Jongdae took a step away from the rail, hiding his hands behind his back, "What's wrong?"
Minseok stepped up to him and pulled his hand from behind him, holding it tightly in his, "You can hide your hands, but I can still see you trembling. What's wrong?"
Jongdae shook his head and smiled, "Nothing, we should sleep." He was about to walk inside but Junmyeon stepped out and looked over the balcony.
"Who is that?" Junmyeon squinted at the figure on the street.
Minseok kept his hand on Jongdae's arm, as he took a look, "Chinhwa." He hissed.
Junmyeon glared down at the man. Now that Minseok said it, he knew without a doubt that it was Chinhwa. "Still causing trouble. If he were my son, I would've given him a major spanking by now!"
Jongdae giggled at the comment and image that popped into his head, "I would like to see that."
"Do you think he'll be staying here all night?" Minseok asked Junmyeon.
Junmyeon smiled at what he was seeing. Police cars pulled up. He grabbed Jongdae and pulled him over, "Look at that. I think I know where he will be spending the night and it's not down there."
Jongdae sighed in relief at Chinhwa being dragged into the police car, "Who called the police?"
"Don't forget, Hyun Ahjussi also has your back." Junmyeon told him, "I have no doubt he was doing his rounds and saw him."
"Let's go to sleep." Minseok said as the police drove away with Jongdae's nightmare. Jongdae nodded but he was disappointed in himself. If his brothers hadn't come to find him, he might still be standing here, shaking. If the police hadn't come, he may not be able to perform tomorrow. "Come on." Minseok gently lead him back into the dorm.
Jongdae's eyes widened at everyone standing in the living area. Junmyeon smiled. As did Minseok. This was a group that would last the ages. Junmyeon knew it. "Why are you all standing around? Tomorrow is a big day." He scolded them, jokingly.
Baekhyun grinned, dropping onto the couch, "I think we should stay down here tonight. I can't sleep anyway so why not have some team bonding time."
Jongdae smiled, shyly, "I'd like that." Baekhyun knew what he needed.
Kris clapped his hands, "What are we waiting for? Let's make ourselves comfortable."
Junmyeon knew there was no sleep happening tonight but that was okay because the adrenaline of tomorrow will get them through their debut and then they can sleep through the next day.
31st March, 2012
EXO stood in formation backstage. They were counting down to their debut. They were taking deep breaths. Everyone was shaking with nerves and excitement. Jongdae, who stood near the back, looked at his brothers' backs and drew strength from each of them. He had faith in all of them; Junmyeon's leadership, Kris's calmness, Luhan's confidence, Minseok's loyalty, Yixing's kindness, Baekhyun's adaptability, Chanyeol's passion, Kyungsoo's compassion, Jongin's creativity, Tao's openness and Sehun's honour. They each had their strengths and Jongdae felt it all.
A man with a headset stepped up behind Jongdae, "Chinhwa is in the audience and sends his regards." Instead of fear at hearing the name, Jongdae felt anger. He turned and grabbed the man's arm, gripping it hard. The man looked down, surprised at the strength. He was assured by Chinhwa that Jongdae would freeze in fear at his name. Looking into Jongdae's eyes, all he saw was determination.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol, who were closest to Jongdae, sensed the tenseness behind them and turned to find Jongdae glaring down a backstage crew member, "Jongdae?"
"Tell Chinhwa to enjoy the show because this is the closest he is ever getting to a stage!" Jongdae's growl was low and threatening. He let the man go, glaring at his back as he ran away as fast as the busy backstage would let him.
"Jongdae, who was that?" Baekhyun asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. By now, the whole team sensed something was wrong.
Jongdae turned to Baekhyun and then to the rest of the team. They were worried about him and that made him smile, "I'm okay. I was just passing on a message."
Chanyeol grinned, "Let's get out there and show Chinhwa what you're made of."
Junmyeon nodded, "Let get out there and show the world what we're made of!" He stretched out his hand. One by one, the team slapped their hands on top, "On three, 'let's love!' Hana, dul, set!"
"Saranghaja!"
Chinhwa glared at the men, dancing and singing on stage. Even he had to admit, they were good but he still believed they would be better with him in the group. His eyes burned each time it found Jongdae. The crewmember had passed on Jongdae's message. It made Chinhwa burn with fury! What gave this low-life the right to tell him he would never get on stage? He couldn't believe this was happening to him. The day after Jongdae sang in front of his entire school, his friends boycotted him. They told him, Jongdae was amazing and that he could never sing the way he did. The girls who always hung off his arms, snubbed him. His life was crashing down because of the man on his stage. "I will stand on a stage!" He left the performance. He knew where the vans would be coming out. He would wait there for them and show them that they were wrong.
The crowd outside where the team would be leaving grew fast. Chinhwa was pushed and pulled by crazy girls, telling him to get out of the way. No one recognised him, which made him angry. He had been in advertisements and music videos before he joined the team. He wasn't a nobody. A few girls in the crowd were calling out "Chen!" Chen, Chinhwa scoffed to himself. It meant morning star and it was Jongdae's stage name. The louder the crowd got, the angrier Chinhwa became. It became so unbearable, that when the vans transporting the team appeared, Chinhwa jumped into the middle of the driveway with his arms out. Two security guards tried drag him away but Chinhwa was as furious and strong as the night he tried to kill Jongdae.
The team were chatting excitedly in the van when it stopped. Baekhyun, who was sitting in the middle in the back, saw him first. "What the hell is he doing?" Jongdae looked out the window to where Baekhyun was looking.
"Chinhwa?" Jongdae frowned at the screaming, "What's he saying?"
Hyunkyun turned around in his seat, "Don't worry about him. The security team will handle it."
"Is he crazy?" Chanyeol shook his head at the mad man.
Luhan put a hand on Jongdae, "Don't worry. He can't do anything to you."
Jongdae turned to him and smiled, "I know." He looked back at the man, sadly, "He really wanted this."
"He did it to himself." Baekhyun couldn't believe how long it was taking the security guards to deal with the man, "He is strong when he's angry." Baekhyun remembered the steel grip he had around Jongdae's neck. He reached over and pulled Jongdae's hand away from his neck.
Jongdae didn't even realise he what he was doing until Baekhyun took his hand. He smiled at Baekhyun, "I'm okay. I think I should go out there and talk to him."
"You're staying here!" Hyunkyun ordered.
"Just let me say one thing to him and then I'll come back." Jongdae promised, "The security guards won't let him touch me."
"We'll go with him." Luhan backed him.
The rest of the team in the other vans got out when they saw the others getting out of the van in the front. The crowd screamed but they blocked it out as they focused on Jongdae. Junmyeon and Minseok ran up to Baekhyun, "What's going on?"
Kris and Yixing caught up with Luhan, "What are you doing?"
"Jongdae wants to talk to Chinhwa." Luhan told them as they followed Jongdae up to the madman.
Jongdae stopped short of Chinhwa's reached. "You stole my place. I should've been on that stage, not you!"
Jongdae shook his head and spoke calmly. The crowd quietened down as they sensed the seriousness of the situation, "Stop blaming me for what you've done. I fought to get on that stage because I love singing. It's my passion. If singing and dancing is yours, then prove me wrong and get yourself into the spotlight for the right reason. You can spend the rest of your life, hating me or you can make something of yourself. This is the last time you'll see me face to face, unless you manage to perform on the same stage as us, otherwise, the television is the only face time you get. Have a good life. I know I will." Jongdae walked away with Luhan, Kris and Yixing at his back, smiling proudly at their brother.
Chinhwa stopped struggling at Jongdae's words, letting the security guards pull him away. The crowd cheered and screamed again.
Jongdae was pulled into the group hug as soon as he returned to the vans. "That's was inspiring, Jongdae." Minseok whispered in his ear. Jongdae grinned.
"Alright, get in your vans so we can take you home." Minwook ordered.
Luhan sat on the couch with Jongdae using his lap as a pillow. Kris smiled at how Luhan combed his fingers through Jongdae's hair. The group was asleep around the room again but the Chinese members were still awake. They would be going home soon but they would be taking Minseok and Jongdae with them. The Chinese members worried about the effect this could have on Minseok and Jongdae and Luhan, in particular, felt a need to protect them. They would also miss the Korean members.
Kris looked down at the boy sleeping on his lap. Tao had taken the news the hardest. He had cried almost every night since they were told, which was almost two weeks ago. Jongdae on the other hand, took it well. In fact, he volunteered to go to China. So, naturally, Minseok followed suit because he would never leave Jongdae's side. "They'll be okay. We'll take care of them." Kris reassured Luhan.
Luhan smiled, "I know. It's just that he's been through so much and now the company is sending him to another country. His confidence has grown immensely since we met him. What if this move undoes everything?"
"He coming with us because he trusts us to take care of him." Yixing told them, "He's trying to overcome his anxieties."
"And Minseok will be with him. Jongdae feels safe around him." Kris smiled at the eldest member who looked like the youngest. He was asleep at Luhan's feet, staying close to Jongdae. "Those two will support each other through anything and everything."
"We'll be leaving in three days. We should make the most of our time as 12." Yixing encouraged them, grinning, "We get to go home soon." He missed his family. Jongdae told them that he wanted to visit each of their homes. He hoped they would have time to do that.
Voices floated into Jongdae's sleep. They were soft and comforting. He mumbled something and smiled, snuggling into his pillow. He would've let himself drift off again but he heard someone chuckle and his pillow vibrate. Frowning, he turned onto his back and opened his eyes. He blinked at the man smiling down at him. Jongdae smiled back, sleepily, "Why are you still awake, Lu Ge? Aren't you tired?"
Luhan smiled at him, brushing Jongdae's hair from his eyes, "Did we wake you?" Jongdae shook his head. "Go back to sleep." Again, Jongdae shook his head. He pushed himself up. Luhan lifted his arm so that he could wrap his arm around Jongdae as he snuggled against him, "You're such a baby."
"Because you let me." Jongdae mumbled, sleepily.
"I know it's too late to change your mind, but are you sure about coming with us to China?" Kris asked him.
Jongdae opened his eyes and smiled at Kris and Yixing, "I have all of you to take care of me and let me whine about everything. Junmyeon hyung doesn't like it when I whine."
They chuckled at that. It was true. While they found Jongdae's whine cute, it drove Junmyeon nuts. "Do you always find the good side of everything?"
Jongdae let out a satisfied sigh, "Mum told me that not every day is a good day but there is always something good in every day."
Yixing nodded, thoughtfully, "I like that." He got up. "Anyone up for hot chocolate?" He jumped when everyone in the room put their hands up, include those who were supposed to be sleeping, "What the heck?"
"I thought you were all asleep?" Kris looked around, eyes shocked.
"You all talk too loudly." Baekhyun stretched out on the floor.
Jongdae chuckled. Minseok got up and sat on the couch, next to Jongdae, "You're stronger we think." Jongdae turned and snuggled against his big brother, relaxing, "We're going to be okay over there, because we have each other. Kris, Luhan and Yixing will take good care of us."
"And me!" Tao insisted.
Jongdae chuckled, "I'll be lucky if you manage to take care of yourself."
"Hey!" Tao complained, making the others laugh.
"Yixing is right." Junmyeon told them, "We need to make the most of the next few days."
"That's right. We are going to laugh so hard that we'll need to separate to let our stomach muscles rest." Chanyeol exaggerated.
Jongdae pushed himself up and looked around. He smiled, tears coming to his eyes as he thought about how much this group has helped him, "Before I met you, I was always anxious. I loved singing but I never really believed in myself. I always thought everyone was better than me. I looked at all of you and envied your confidence and abilities." He turned to Minseok, "You believed in me." He turned to the others, "You were all patient and your belief in me let me walk on that stage. It was your strength that made me face Chinhwa. No matter what happens from now on, you will always be my brothers." Jongdae wiped away his tears, a little embarrassed at how easily he cried in front of them but it only proved that they were a real family.
"We are one and we always will be." Junmyeon nodded, proudly. He turned to Kris, "Take care of them over there."
Kris nodded, "And you take care of the rest until we reunite." They made their pact.
"EXO is going to take this world by storm." Baekhyun promised.
"And we're taking every step together." Chanyeol added.
"As one." Jongdae loved their slogan.
"We are one!"
The End...or the Beginning.