Helen and Daria watched from down the block as a mysterious looking stranger, dressed in a trench coat walked up the sidewalk, turned into the M. walkway and knocked on their front door. Even with the coat pulled up, Jane's helmet hair was recognizeable. Daria turned to Helen as Jake poked his head out of the door, looked around quickly and pulled Jane inside the house.
"It can't be true," stated Daria in near shock as Helen drumed her finger on the steering wheel of her SUV. "It's got to be something else."
Helen steamed as her fingers tightened their grip on the wheel. "Why do you think we've been having lasagna so much lately? He says he's been too busy lately with clients but his answering service told me last week that he hasn't had a message all month. Then I come home to find her clothes in the wash, the bathroom all wet, and her lipstick on a couple of the glasses in the sink."
"Maybe it was Quinn's lipstick on the glasses."
"Damn it, Daria. You know Quinn only wears that pink stuff. It was bright red and you know she wears that shi..." Helen paused before she could completely fly off the handle. She puffed her cheeks out and slammed herself back as far as she could into the seat back.
"But I mean you've been giving Quinn and I all that money to leave the house so you two could, um..." Daria didn't want to come out and say it.
Helen closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. "Damn it, Daria. I tried to get him interested in me again but he always says he's too tired, or has a headache or something." She paused for a minute. "I even tried that cheerleader outfit that you've stashed in the back of your closet."
Daria tried not to react too strongly on the news that Helen knew about her outfit. "How did you find out about that? I was saving it for Tom for his birthday."
Helen still had her eyes closed. "Sometimes, Daria. We have to do some strange things for our men."
They sat there for a moment before Daria nodded her head and opened her door.
"Well, I'm going to put a stop to this for once and for all." She started off to the house before Helen realized what she was doing. Helen stepped out of the car and quickly followed her.
We change scenes to show the M. livingroom. We hear Jane give a small laugh from the kitchen as the front door opens and both Helen and Daria stick their heads inside. They look around quickly as we hear water running in the kitchen as they both zero in on the noise. They look at each other, nod and step into their house, closing the door behind them. They walk slowly across the living room. Daria points towards Jane's boots and jacket laying on the floor. She also notices Jake's jacket and tie laying over the end of the couch. Helen's anger begins to build again as they approach the doorway to the kitchen. They stop as we hear water splashing again. Helen takes a deep breath, nods to herself and walks into the kitchen, Daria right behind her.
Daria nearly ran into her mother as Helen stopped short after coming through the doorway. Her eyes openned wide as she saw her best friend, Jane, in a tight embrace with her father.
Jane nearly purred. "Jake, that was wonderful. I never felt so good."
"Jake!" screamed Helen. "Get your hands off that harlot!" Daria's eyes widen in amazement that her mother would call her best friend something like that. Jake and Jane flew apart from each other in shock at the sudden interruption.
"Oh, hi Helen. How was your day?" asked Jake who turned just a bit red.
"Don't Oh, hi Helen' me you two timing weasel. What the Hell is going on here?"
"It's not what it looks like, Mrs. M. I was just trying to..."
"Jane, shut up. I'm not talking to you. I want to know what my husband has to say about me finding him in the arms of another woman!"
"Um..."
"Mrs. M., I can explain..." Jane tried to get a word in edge wise.
"Twenty years of marriage and I come home to find you with your arms intertwined around the body of a seventeen year old. Mother was right! She said marrying you was going to be the death of me. Worked and slaved..."
"But Helen, dear. We were just..."
"...day after day working my tail off and letting my body go just so I could support my family. Sure, I could have taken that week long vacation at sea paid by the company but that..." Helen went on baring her soul.
"Mrs. M., I was trying to teach Jake how to cook so you wouldn't have to," Jane yelled out over Helen's speech.
"Eric telling me to go home and spend time with my family but that would have just made me look..." Helen paused as what Jane said sunk in. She raised an eyebrow in question. Jane nodded, picked up a towel, opened the oven and pulled out a pan of near perfect chocolate chip cookies.
"Sure Helen. She's been trying to help me with my dance moves as well. See?" Jake grabbed Jane and, only stepping on her feet just once, they danced a pretty good tango.
"Um, what about the clothes in the wash?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, that. Jake spilled flour all over me a few weeks back. He felt guilty and made me throw my clothes in your washing machine. I wore a shirt and shorts of Daria's home that day. That reminds me, I need to bring them back over."
"So that's where they went..." Daria mumbled.
"But the shower was wet..."
"I got some in my hair and didn't want to go home like that. The cats would have been all over me."
"What about the lipstick on the glasses?"
"Jane was helping me practice for when we have to attend that big lawyer's conference next month. Don't want to get too excited and embarrase you in front of all those stuffed suits, now do I honey?"
Helen looked down in thought as she went over the details in her head. "I guess not..."
Jake went up to her. "How about I run you a nice, hot bubble bath so you can relax, honey? Girls, my wallet is in my jacket. Why don't you take some money out of it and go see a movie or something?" Jake softly pushed Helen out of the kitchen.
Jane turned and moved the tray of cookies over to the counter. She began placing them on a plate but was interupted by Daria standing close to her.
"What's up, amego?"
"Cooking? That's all you could come up with?"
"Daria, all I'm trying to do is teach your father how to cook. Keep you're dirty mind out of the gutter." She paused and then smirked. "I knew I shouldn't have shown you that web site by that Doctor character with all those dirty works on it. Now you're thinking along those lines."
"But what about Jake, that was wonderful. I never felt so good.'"
"He was happy to see me. He gave me a big hug. It's not like anyone else gives me any affection. Guys in this town just want a roll in the back seat." She paused and smirked at Daria. "Or, in your case, the front seat."
"But..."
"Look, have a cookie..." Jane shoves a still warm cookie into Daria's mouth. "... and a glass of milk." She hands Daria a glass near by on the counter. "Take your dirty mind out of here and go watch some television or something. Let me clean up the kitchen."
Daria slowly stumbled out of the kitchen chewing on her cookie. Jane smirked and slowly shook her head looking after her friend. She sighed and moved over to the sink with her pan. As she turned on the water, she noticed a small bit of trash under the table. Jane bent down, picked it up and looked at it. It was an opened wrapper for one of those cheap condoms that can be bought in any convience store. Her eyes went wide as she took a quick look around and slid the trash into her pocket, hoping no one would notice.