I hadn't ever seen Ray so hurt. He knew why I had to move out and was merely pretending not to know. Truth be told, I had to move out not because he loved me, but because I loved him. As I packed a few things, I could hear "The Omen" blaring over the television. Bloody horror movies. I put down a shirt and think how much I'll miss cuddling with Ray on the couch, watching horror movies until we're scared out of our bloody minds and toss the idea of sharing a bed to protect each other.

Should have taken him up on that offer. I'm sure I would have felt protected.

I walk out with my bag and look at him on the couch. He's already had three beers and he's working on his fourth and by his foot, I see the now empty bottle of what had been just a couple hours earlier, a full bottle of Jack Daniels. I would be surprised if he didn't get alcohol poisoning. But, if he did, I'd save…Stop it, Neela! I scream to myself.

I want to say something to him, but I can't. I don't know what to say. I say "See you at work." But he doesn't respond. When I open the door, I hear him ask "Why?"

I turn around and face him. "I'm married, Ray." He scoffs at my marriage, all but calling it a sham. He was right. If Michael did love me, why was he in Iraq when we had only been married a month?

The arguing about love and marriage continues, ending when he throws a beer bottle over my head. I'm scared at that point. Ray's never thrown anything, except a couple punches. He's one of the calmest men I know, which is why I love him. Why I wish he had stepped forward before Michael ever kissed me or even asked me out on a date. I look at him, so helpless at this point. I point out he has no clue what love is, and I hear him softly reply as he buries his face in his hands. "Dammit, Neela. You are as fucking blind as a bat."

"Pardon?" I wanted to know if he was saying what it was that I thought he was saying.

He looks up at me. "Jesus, Neela. Why do you think I've taped all your shows for you? Why I helped you when you needed helping, even if it's just an ear to bend? Fuck, Neela. You have no clue, do you?"

I shut the door behind me and look at him. "I'm married, Ray."

"I know. But, Neela. I love you and I always have."

I walk over to him and give him a hug. "I love you, too, Ray, but not in the way you want me to love you. You're my best friend and that will never change." I know I've just lied to him. I love him. I love how he pushes my buttons and how I feel when he's near. Even now, as I have my arms around his waist, I feel safe. I softly breathe in his scent, trying to seer it in my mind. I look up at him, hoping he'll kiss me and make me change my mind, but instead, he kisses the top of my head.

I pick up my bag and walk out, leaning against the closed door, with my bag, my keys, and my second thoughts.