I Still Love Him

by gingerbread-iplier

I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it. As the years went on, things got more difficult- we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had in the beginning. I understood him. And I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. I still love him, I love him. OC. BR Bucky/OMC. Part of the Kalopsia series.

OMC, yeah! Bucky/OMC, ok?! This is Avenger!Bucky and Avenger!Loki~! Rocky relationship of Bucky/OMC, Avenger!OMC.

Kota Hale, black hair, shining green eyes, has the power to turn into shadows, change the universe around him to fly, cause items to either implode or teleport into his hands, and can use the 'Zack Morris Time Out' power.

'And I remember when I met him, it was so clear that he was the only one for me… We both knew it, right away.'

Back at the beginning, when Steve had found him, when Nicolas Fury had forced him into therapy then asked him to join the Avengers, that was when he met Kota. Their eyes had clashed, Kota's piercing green eyes with his dark green/brown eyes. Kota's lips twitched upward at the Winter Soldier and raised one finger, beckoning something. Before Bucky could ask what he was doing, 2 cups were in Kota's hands, and he stretched one to Bucky. He thankfully accepted it and gave a hesitant smile to Kota.

'And as the years went on, things got more difficult- we were faced with more challenges.'

"You guys have been together 2 years, you can't break up over something like this-!" Tony tried, and Kota sent him a glare. "I can, Tony. He lied- he fucking lied to me. He could have gotten all of us killed! More so, himself! I can't take that. Especially since not only was this his fault, but it was mine." Bucky's eyes snapped to Kota. "How was this your fault? I admit, this was my fault!" Steve grimaced. "No, Bucky-!"

"James, it was a secret pertaining to my past. If I had been a good person, none of this would have happened." Clint's voice ground out, "Kota, you were a good person." Kota started off to leave the room. "Kota…" Loki's voice started, and he stiffened. "Bucky, we're through. And I'm quitting the Avengers."

'I begged him to stay. Try to remember what we had in the beginning.'

"Kota, please, don't go!" Bucky's voice rang out, uncharacteristically crushed, broken and desperate, causing Kota to stop and lean on the doorframe. "James…" He started, drawing it out like he was an exasperated parent. "Don't you remember? Back at the beginning, please remember! I love you Kota, please don't leave!" Kota grit his teeth, before turning swiftly. "James, stay away from me. All of you. Because of this, all of this…" Kota grimaced, shook his head, and stormed out the room.

'He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew it. When he walked in, every woman's head turned, everyone stood to talk to him.'

The Avengers had every right to celebrate. Kota coming back, to be an Avenger once again, that was worth rejoicing. Tony, Clint, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Bruce, and Loki got to the karaoke bar first. Thor was not coming- he was still in Asgard working on something. "Where's Kota?" Natasha asked, turning her head to look at Bucky.

Then the door opened. In walked Kota, in a loose blue shirt and dark jeans. Bucky glared at the random women who gave flirty glances at him, and at the people who stood to chat with him. Kota said polite words to get them to leave him alone and he sat down at the table the others were at. "Hey James." He pointedly stared at his boyfriend, and Bucky looked away. "I'm sorry." Kota tried, and Bucky managed to glance up into his eyes. "I love you, Kota." He whispered hoarsely. Kota looked away, at all the others, then nodded, not able to speak.

'He was like this hybrid, this mix, of a man who couldn't contain himself.'

Bucky punched at the bag in the gym over and over again, barely able to contain his anger. "Hey, Bucky, you might want to calm down before you break something." Bucky turned his head to see Tony with 2 whiskeys in his hands. Bucky sighed through his nose and relaxed his stance before going over to Tony and accepting one. They sat next to each other on the bench. "He hates me." Bucky started, and Tony shook his head. "No, Bucky, he doesn't. Kota is going through some stuff, he's-!"

"He's not himself." Bucky murmured, and Tony gave a nod at that. "Yeah, exactly." He answered, before taking a large gulp of whiskey. Bucky took one himself and relaxed. "You know what you need?" Tony asked, and Bucky looked over at him. "Sex."

'I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all the, uh, opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.'

"Kota…" Natasha tried, glancing over at Clint and Loki before looking back to Kota. "He… he cheated on me! With fucking Tony!" Kota cried, before whirling and sobbing into Loki's chest. Loki looked a little freaked out, before calming down and lightly rubbing Kota's back. Kota started to calm and nearly fall asleep in Loki's arms. Suddenly Kota pushed off from Loki and suddenly grabbed Loki's face, before kissing him harshly. Loki practically melted into the kiss, and Natasha and Clint gaped. "Kota, what are you…?" Clint breathed.

"Kota?!" Bucky cried, hurt in his voice. "James." Kota said flatly, letting go of the demigod he had previously been kissing. Loki opened his eyes half lidded, trying to calm his heart. Clint awkwardly pat his shoulder. "Kota…" Bucky breathed, tears edging at his eyes. "You cheated on me first." Kota growled before pushing Bucky out of the way and leaving the room.

'And in that way, I understood him.'

Bucky stayed in the doorway, gazing at Natasha, Clint, and Loki. "Did you really have sex with Tony?" Natasha asked, and Bucky shook his head, looking down. "I was going to. I was really going to, but then I thought of Kota, and I couldn't." Bucky admitted, and Clint cursed. "Go to him, ok? Go to him." Clint told him.

'And I loved him. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.'

"I hate you, James!" Bucky growled back at the ravenette and yelled, "I hate you to, Kota! Why don't you leave! Why don't you just fucking go?!" Bucky asked, and Kota's face suddenly fell, a broken look on his face. "James..?" Kota breathed. "I'm fucking done!" Bucky yelled, before storming off. Kota dropped into the seat behind him.

"Kota, are you alright?" Bruce asked, and he shook his head fiercely, before standing and running off.

'And I still love him, I love him.'

"Kota…" Bucky tried, sitting next to the man. Kota glanced up at Bucky before looking away. "James, I don't think-!" Bucky cut him off fiercely, "I love you, Kota." Kota gave Bucky a cold look, and he winced. "Kota…"

"We're never going to get back together, James." Kota said darkly, and Bucky grit his teeth harshly. "Please, Kota, I love you more than anything and anyone I have ever known." Kota shook his head. "It's never going to work out. I love you to, but this is too hard."

Bucky's breathing was quickening, and Kota stood to walk away. "No, Kota!" Bucky tried. "Maybe in time, James. But right now, even love can't save us." He answered, before walking away inside. "I'm sorry, Bucky…" Steve's voice came up, and he nodded. "Come on, let's go inside."

That's done, now next time I'm going to make another songfic one shot of a Marina and the Diamonds song! Please review and favorite! I actually love my new paring Xd!