Missing You, a harry potter fanfic

Missing You

Summary: Harry gets really upset one night at Grimmauld Place, and Ron comforts him by singing him to sleep. Based on the song Missing You by All Time Low.

Ron watched Harry squirm and moan. Seeing his best mate like that had him wincing in painful sympathy. Should he wake him? Or would that make things worse? Should he get mum or Dumbledore? Ron didn't know what to do until Harry shot awake, a scream upon his lips, and his eyes shooting around frantically. Ron automatically shot to his friend and immediately grabbed his hands gently.

"Shh…Shh… Harry, it's me, mate," Ron murmured quietly. Harry fought against him for a few minutes, but Ron didn't give in to the accidental abuse and instead wrapped him into an uncharacteristic embrace. It wasn't long until Harry relaxed into the embrace, and Ron felt his t-shirt dampening slightly, but he didn't mind. It wasn't until at least fifteen minutes later that Ron heard Harry's muffled voice.

"Ron? I'm sorry," he said, and Ron shook his head.

"Don't be sorry. Never apologize for this type of thing," he responded. He then added, "Nightmare?"

Ron felt Harry's head nod against his chest, but he could tell it was uncertain. "Want to talk about it?"

Harry was silent for the next few minutes, and Ron was in no rush, so he let him ponder for however long he needed. Soon enough Ron felt the body against his pull away, and red eyes stared behind him. Ron was overwhelmed almost when Harry began talking about his dream. Ron could hear the crushing despair within his friend's voice as he told him about watching Cedric die again and again. He explained it in such a great detail that Ron wanted to vomit, but he didn't. He then went on to say how everyone turned on him back at the school: Hermione, Neville, the Headmaster… himself.

"…and everyone looked at me with such scorn and hatred in their eyes that I felt like I was being buried in a hole six feet underground. They spat at me and belittled me and hit me and blamed me. They wanted me to die; to kill myself, Ron, they really wanted me to. I could see it in their eyes. And…and after a while, I wanted to kill myself, too."

Ron was stunned into silence. Harry was always so strong, and he didn't know it was even possible for Harry to feel like this. Ron studied Harry. His body was weak, and his under eyes were black as night. There was something else about him, Ron decided, but he couldn't exactly pinpoint it. Ron looked at Harry critically.

"Harry… have you had this dream before?" Ron asked with a slight hesitance. He didn't know if he wanted to know the answer. Ron's theory was confirmed when Harry's face twisted and he glared at the red comforter on the bed.

"It started the week after the… the third task," Harry answered, his face scrunching up slightly. "The third task…" Ron looked at Harry with a slight worried expression as his friend's voice began to get higher and more… maniacal. "The third fucking task!" Harry yelled suddenly to Ron's astonishment. But he let the man get angry. Ron knew he probably needed to let off some steam, and he let him. And when Harry knew Ron wasn't going to say anything, he began to make angry noises of frustration and kicking things and punching things. Ron didn't mind, but he was sure the Order was probably hearing some of the racket and hoped no one would barge in suddenly and ruin all the progress he had made.

But there was an entourage of the Order, to Ron's irritation, which included his mum, Dumbledore, Remus, and Tonks. Ron could see them through the small crack in the door. Remus, in the front of the group, caught his eye, and Ron shook his head. He didn't need any help. He had everything handled. Remus gave him a small, understanding smile and waved the rest of the group back downstairs. Ron mentally sighed in relief. Crisis averted for now.

His mental conversation with himself was brought to an abrupt halt when the sound of breaking drywall. Ron's eyes connected with Harry's frame. It was as if time had slowed as Harry's fist broke through the wall, and Ron watched helplessly. He didn't even realise he had moved until his body wrapped around Harry's, preventing him from punching the wall again. Harry struggled as he spoke in noncommittal speech.

"Harry!" Ron yelled, and it was just like that the energy just drained out of Harry, and he sank down into Ron's arms. Ron held his weight, and dragged him over to the bed. Harry sat and immediately went to curl up into a ball. Ron reached out and grabbed his wrists to keep him from doing so. And that's when he saw the scars. The scars that lined Harry's wrists in perfect unison. Ron froze slightly in horror and retracted his grasp. Ron's lips went thin and white. "Harry," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," Harry answered hoarsely. "Ron? Ron, I…I want to die. I just want to die. Please let me die…" he whispered. Ron didn't reply, only pulled Harry close to him for a moment.

It was a moment or two before Ron made up his mind. "Harry, do you want to go get some tea and biscuits?"

Without waiting for a response, Ron stood up and left the room, and it was a few seconds before he heard footsteps follow him. Ron pushed through the doors that led to the dining room which led to the kitchen, and nodded briefly to the Order members who were assembled but did not stay to talk or listen.

He walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on and found some biscuits and put them on a plate for him and Harry to share. Minutes later and a conversation with Remus later, Ron found himself sitting next to Harry in the sitting room. They sat in silence, neither Ron nor Harry offering any words to each other. Ron began to find himself lost in thought. He knew the Order would be able to hear them in here, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Harry's beginning stifled cries had Ron hoping they weren't purposely trying to listen.

The pain and anguish that was portrayed through the cries hurt Ron's heart. It sounded as if Harry's world had just shattered and everything he knew was a lie. And to him, it probably seemed that way so, Ron wrapped and arm around Harry, and his friend leaned into him, hot tea mug still in his trembling hand.

"I heard that you've been self-medicating in the quiet of your room, your sweet, suburban tomb. And if you need a friend, I'll help you stitch up your wounds," Ron hummed to Harry softly. Harry began to quiet, and encouraged by Harry's response, Ron finished the song.

"I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
But if you need a friend
Then please just say the word...

You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out...

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do;
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
And if you need a friend
Then please just say the word...

You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out...

Grit your teeth, pull your hair,
Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world
'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back,"
And never for a second blame yourself.

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
(no, you can't cover up)
(one, two, three, four!)

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one (this ride is a wild one),
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid (don't lose your fight, kid),
It only takes a little push to pull on through (push to pull on through),

With so much left to do;
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you."

And Ron meant every word.