Thoughts & Feelings
I read this passage on the Internet a few days ago and I decided it would go really well with the PJ/Jo fic I wrote whilst I was sitting in bed with the flu. I think that this fic describes PJ's feelings about Maggie's death and his newfound relationship with Jo. It's short but it has a lot of feelings tied into it. Enjoy!
If there is someone for everyone and those two people are actually lucky enough to find each other, how do we know that they are the one that you are meant to be with? And say that one of them dies, does that mean that they were not the one for you? Or does that mean they were the one for you so therefore you are destined to spend the rest of your life alone? Or say then you meet someone after that person's death, does that mean that they are the one for you and the first person was just a mistake? Or did you get it right the first time and the first person was the one you were destined to be with?
PJ was lying in his bed with Jo cuddled up to his chest. He started thinking about what had happened the night before. He remembered coming home to find Jo sitting on the floor crying whilst going through the real estate section of the newspaper. He walked over to her and sat behind her on the couch and started rubbing her shoulders. He kept massaging her as she told him about the horrible day she was having. Until eventually she ended up on the couch next to him with her face buried in his chest. A while after that he remembered saying something to make her laugh but he couldn't remember what it was. He remembered her lifting her head and smiling at him. He smiled back and that was when it happened. They both leant in and kissed each other passionately. Then somehow they ended up in bed together the next morning.
He watched as she rolled over and exposed her back. He rolled over so he was facing the opposite direction. Jo woke up and he could feel her turn to look at him. He felt as she got out of the bed and walked away. He could feel her eyes on him as she left the room.
"What am I going to do now?" He asked himself.
Three weeks later PJ and Jo are on their way back from getting the lunches and you could see that there was tension between them. PJ opened his mouth to speak several times but the words never came out. He opened his mouth once more and was about to say something when Jo cut in. "PJ what's going to happen between us?" she asked.
"I don't know. I don't even know what's happened with us Jo." He replied. "I don't even know why I slept with you in the first place." PJ thought. "I'm not sure I want anything to come of this. I mean we're great mates and we work well together. I don't want to ruin that. I would rather we just forgot about it." PJ told her.
"So you're saying you regret it." Jo snapped.
"No I don't regret it. I did want it to happen. I just feel like I took advantage of you." PJ told her.
"You didn't take advantage of me PJ I wanted this to happen. I have for a long time. Ever since you and Mag..." Jo stopped mid sentence. "I'm sorry." Jo cried.
"No it's ok. I knew that she would be mentioned. I just need a little time to think about this ok Jo. Can you please try and understand?" PJ asked.
"I do understand." Jo replied. "Can we still be friends?" she asked him.
He smiled and replied, "Of course we can."
When they arrived back at the station Jo went straight out the back so no one could see her cry. She hoped that no one saw her. However she was wrong. Jonesy noticed her absence and walked outside to find her sitting on the step crying.
"Hey Jo what's wrong?" He asked.
"It doesn't matter. It's stupid to be getting upset over." Jo replied.
"It does matter Jo. I don't like seeing you upset like this." Jonesy replied.
"Ok if you really want to know."
"Which I do." Jonesy replied.
"Then I'll tell you. I slept with someone last night and now they regret it." Jo cried.
"How can they?" Jonesy asked.
"Well that's the thing. I don't know. What's wrong with me Jonesy?" Jo asked.
"What on earth do you mean?" Jonesy asked.
"Why doesn't anybody want me?" Jo asked.
"That's crazy Jo. How can nobody want you? You're beautiful." "Really?" Jo asked. "Yes you are. And you're smart, funny, you have a great sense of humour and you're attractive." Jonesy replied.
"You're just saying that to make me feel better."
"No I really mean it." Jonesy replied.
"Really?" Jo asked.
"Of course I do." Jonesy wiped a tear off Jo's cheek. Jo expected him to take his hand away but he kept it there. He stroked her face and then he leant in and kissed her passionately.
Unfortunately PJ chose this moment to walk out and see them. He wanted to apologise to Jo and make things right but now he could see that she didn't want him anymore. He walked back a bit and listened to Jo's words as she broke away from Jonesy.
"Jonesy I can't. I'm sorry. I slept with a guy I really like last night and no matter what he says it meant something to me. He means a lot to me and I don't want to ruin that. And besides what about Tess?" Jo asked.
"What about her?" Jonesy replied.
"I thought you loved her."
"Well I thought I did. But I don't. It was just a stupid crush. Nothing was ever going to come of it and we all knew that. I like you Jo. You're the one I want to be with." Jonesy went to kiss her again but Jo pulled away.
"It's nice of you to like me and everything but this isn't the best time for it. I'm in love with another guy. I really like you Jonesy but I've got my heart set on another man." Jo explained
. "Hey I understand. Are we still mates?" Jonesy asked.
"Course we are." Jo replied and the pair hugged.
PJ was still standing in the doorway watching them. Jo's words had shocked him. He had no idea that she felt that way about him and he had treated her like dirt.
"I've got to make it up to her." PJ thought. He quickly walked back into the main office and then straight into his office.
He sat down at his desk and started writing a letter to Jo.
Dear Jo, I'm sorry about all the pain and hurt I have caused you. I had no idea of the way you really felt for me. I would love to make it up to you. If you will forgive me then please meet me at the pub at 7:30. Dress nice. PJ.
He put it in an envelope and placed it on Jo's desk as he walked out of the station.
At 7:25 that night PJ was sitting on a bar stool drinking a beer when Jo walked in. she was wearing a red sleeveless dress which hung over one of her shoulders exposing her skin. PJ gasped when he saw her.
"Wow Jo you look amazing." PJ announced as he walked over to her.
"I know I do. Shall we get out of here?" Jo asked.
"Yep. But before we do." He placed a blindfold over her eyes.
"What's going on?" Jo asked. "Where are you taking me?"
"You'll find out when we get there." PJ replied. He led her out to his car and drove her up to Lovers Leap.
He got her out of the car and led her to a picnic rug that he had set up. Then he took the blindfold off.
"Oh Peej this is amazing. You didn't have to do this for me." Jo gasped.
"Yes I did. Jo I want to apologise for everything I have done to you. I am so sorry I never considered your feelings. I should have listened to you when you said you wanted to be with me. I've had time to think about this and I know that Maggie would have wanted me to be happy. I've never felt this way about anyone else except her. Jo I love you. I didn't tell you this before because I was scared. I thought that if I said it I would be betraying Maggie but I do love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I know that I can never love you with all my heart but I was hoping that this would be enough for you." He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small box.
"Peej I..." Jo started.
"Shhh. let me finish. I love you Joanna Parrish. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honour of taking my had in marriage?" PJ asked and he opened the box. Inside was a diamond and ruby studded gold ring.
When Jo saw it she gasped. "Yes. I will marry you. I love you PJ." Jo replied. PJ slipped the ring on her finger ad picked her up and spun her around.
"I love you Jo Parrish." PJ said as he put her down.
"I love you too PJ." Jo replied and the two of them locked in a passionate embrace.
Maybe it wasn't as short as I thought. I hope you liked it. There may be more coming but if you want it feedback would be great!
Jess!