I can't blame them,the thoughts I say always make it seem like I don't like people. I don't hate most people. Most. I just don't know how to talk to them. How do you talk to someone,how can people like Alfred fall apart and scream and be so loud,and have so many friends? I stay calm so they don't fear me. I end up alone. And that had always been fine. Why did Norge have to kiss me back? Why couldn't he bitterly reject me,then I be okay with loneliness and go back to my boring life,feed Mr. Puffin,get work done,do what I have to do as a nation... Not as a person.
He clutched his head. Why are my thoughts so loud? They won't ever be heard,so why bother having them? Why have dreams,hopes,emotions...
...if no one will hear them?
Iceland could see the snow falling softly outside. What would it take for my thoughts to be quiet,quiet like the snow? Everyone knows the snow is there,but will never look beyond the surface. Like people know I think,it is basic human function,but they will never look beyond that. Why can't I do that? Never look beyond the surface?
He knew why.
It's because if you leave someone alone for too long. They look into their thoughts,they question their importance,they question everyone's existence,why is it needed? Denmark had told me once you could never be left alone for too long or you'll go crazy. But I see now,that doesn't make you go crazy,it makes you really see reality,that our existence really is pointless. We can convince ourselves 'till the day we die that what we do is important. But in the end it will never do anything. We are pointless.
I...am pointless.
We have no purpose...so why are we here?! Are we just some higher authority's play thing?! Why? Why do we exist?
Why do I exist?
I guess we really are pointless. I guess we don't matter. I don't matter.
He pulled the cover over him and tried to sleep,hoping sleep would bring him answers to his never ending thoughts.