So yeah I jumped on the Hobbit fanfiction bandwagon after seeing the film, though I love the book as well, and even though Bofur is my favourite dwarf I had a big idea for a Fili/Kili fic. No slash, just fluff and brotherly love. Loads of fanfics I've read are protective!Fili and hurt!Kili, and I had an idea for hurt/sick!Fili and protective!Kili before the events of the Hobbit when Fili is 50 and Kili is 45.
The entire world of Middle Earth and characters belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.
Rate and Review welcome, but no flames please.
Kili stayed silent, grasping his brother's hand tightly as Fili tossed and turned on his bed in their shared room. He could not remember a day when Fili had not been in the grip of a terrible illness even though he knew that his brother had not always been sick. It was hard to imagine Fili as he had been when he had been healthy, cheeks slightly flushed, hair combed and neatly braided, beard and moustache kept tidy. He had had strength back then, muscles from helping their uncle in the forge, and Kili knew his older brother had been skilled where strength and careful hands were needed. Now, now he lay in his bed all day, eyes closed, tossing and turning fiercely, continuously, sweating and shaking, sometimes moaning, sometimes quiet. His skin was pale, his body thin. What little they managed to get him to eat was usually thrown back up, and when he did manage to keep it down it seemed to cause him pain. Having kept a near constant vigil next to his brother's bed, waiting for the day when he started to get better, Kili had made a decision to do something more active to help his brother.
Dis and Thorin were downstairs, discussing the treatments they had not yet tried for Fili, completely distracted. They did not notice Kili sneak by them, quieter on his feet than a dwarf should be, heading to the kitchen. He knew that his family only just had enough food to eat, but he would need at least a little bit of food before he started his journey and for that he would have to do something more drastic than steal it from his own family. In the kitchen there stood a statue that had been carved in Erebor by the hand of Thrain himself, Kili's grandfather. It was prised above any other trinket in the house but Kili knew there were some in the markets close to Ered Luin who would pay a pretty price to own it. This is for Fili, the young dwarf reminded himself as he picked up the statue and stealthily exited the house. It was dark outside, no time for him to be wandering around alone, but the people Kili wanted to see were in the marketplaces at night, pawning off stolen goods and swapping items with each other.
There was nobody in Kili's path as he walked, quickly, towards his destination. Dis would soon be heading upstairs to check on Fili and if Kili was not next to his brother when she did it would arose suspicions. He had to be quick. A sword sliced through the air in front of him and stopped just in front of his neck. Kili had good reflexes, quick ears and eyes and had heard it coming, stopping just before the sword appeared out of the darkness.
"What are you doing around here boy? The markets are no place for someone so young at night," A gruff voice hissed.
Kili did not flinch. He could see a small pool of candlelight in front of him, and the shadows of figures stood there waiting for his answer. Pushing the blade aside confidently, though he bore no weapons himself, he stepped into the light, revealing who he was to the men assembled there. Most of the regular sellers of the markets knew who he was and it showed in the faces of the men gathered there. Thorin had warned Kili to keep away from the men and just do dealings with other dwarves if necessary, he had been warned to only speak to the men if the need was dire and Kili was sure this counted as a dire need.
"It's Thorin's lad isn't it? Used to always be around here with his brother," the man who had the blade laughed. "It's been a while since we saw you lad, where've you been?"
"Family emergency," Kili replied shortly. He did not trust these men as far as he could throw them and though he wasn't sure Kili did not think he could throw them especially far. "I've come to offer you this," He stated, holding up the statue.
The men gathered there held their breath collectively as they stared at the statue. They had seen it only once before when Kili had stolen it as a child of five and brought it into the marketplace to ask Thorin, who had been trading at the time, what it meant. Since that day these men, who gambled and bargained in the night and stole during the day, had wanted the statue more than anything else.
"Your uncle made it clear that if we ever came into possession of that statue he would kill us immediately," Another man spoke angrily, but he could not keep the awe out of his voice.
"Only if you stole it, not if you bought it. I have others who would pay a lot of money for it, so either make me an offer or-." Kili snapped.
"I'll give you all this," One man cried and brought forward the bag he had on his shoulders. Inside there was a lot of food, including salted meats, bread, cheese, apples and other things Kili couldn't see. There were also two quivers in there, one stuffed with arrows, the other half full, a bedroll and blankets. If Kili hadn't known better he'd have assumed this man had the power to see into the future and had predicted the journey he was about to undergo some time ago and had prepared all this just for him. The other men probably had other offers but Kili had not expected to get a lot of what he needed in one go so he agreed to the first offer and, rather reluctantly, handed over the statue. No more words passed from the men to the dwarf, they were all intent on getting the statue off the winning man, so Kili turned and left, running back to his house as quickly as he could.
Luck seemed to with him tonight as he made it back in time to store the bag he had got under Fili's bed, get his breath back and take up his place of watch again before Dis entered the room. Thorin was behind her and when he looked at Kili he saw his cheeks slightly flushed and narrowed his eyes.
"Kili you need to get some sleep," Dis said gently, "Fili will still be here in the morning."
"I want to be awake in case he wakes up in the night," Kili stated firmly. This exchange of words had become a ritual for mother and son. Dis did not push Kili after his first denial of needing sleep, merely kissed his forehead, kissed Fili's forehead and left the room to go to bed herself and cry herself to sleep thinking that her eldest son was going to die. Thorin did not leave with Dis though, as he normally did. He crossed the room to stand in front of Kili and placed a hand on his forehead, then his cheeks.
"Uncle Thorin?" Kili said questioningly.
"You're looking a bit flushed Kili, are you getting ill as well?" Thorin inquired, his hand lingering on Kili's cheek. His nephew did not feel feverish, no, he felt like he had just been running hard.
"I was just crying before uncle, my cheeks get all red and puffy when I do, you know that," Kili lied with a short, forced laugh. Thorin bundled his nephew into his arms when he spoke those words and Kili had to hold back real tears as he did, clinging to the back of Thorin's fur coat tightly.
"It'll be alright Kili, Fili will pull through this, you'll see." The dwarven heir to Erebor stated quietly. Kili merely nodded, knowing if he spoke he would cry. He could not cry anymore. He had made up his mind to stop crying and do something to help Fili, so he would not start crying now.
"Get some sleep. Your mother is worried about you, please help her burden." Thorin ordered, pulling out of the hug and heading for the door. Kili nodded. He would sleep tonight because tomorrow night he was leaving Ered Luin to search for somebody, or something, to help Fili.
/
The next day Kili spent most of his time out of the house, much to the surprise of Dis, Thorin and those dwarves that were close to their family and knew what was happening. Though he did not go around with his usually cheerful air and would not smile at anyone, many dwarves of Ered Luin had not seen Kili, or Fili, for months, and many had assumed them dead. Kili did not stop to talk to anyone. He was on a mission and no one was going to stop him. Oin and Gloin's house was empty, as Kili had expected it to be, but it was attached to a forge they worked in from time to time, so he had to be quiet so he did attract unwanted attention. Routing through their house as quickly as possible Kili found what he was looking for, Oin's book on herbs and medicinal plants. He planned to take it with him, hoping Oin would not notice before he had disappeared in the night.
Smuggling the book around in a large fur coat he owned Kili went next to the practise fields to make sure his archery skills were honed enough for him to be able to protect himself. Kili may have been young and may have never travelled in the wild before but he knew the world was fraught with danger and he may need to protect himself, and for that he needed his archery skills. Smiling wryly Kili contemplated on how proud his mother and uncle probably would be of him for spending the time to plan something he was about to undertake instead of just rushing headlong into it. Of course they would be angry at him for even thinking of leaving Ered Luin alone, but if he were older and allowed to leave alone then they would be proud. Kili had never felt so excited before, but there was an overhanging dread that made his excitement murky. What if Fili died while he was travelling trying to find a cure? Kili knew there was no cure for death and he would want to be by Fili's side if that were to happen to his brother. According to his mother Fili had taken a turn for the worse during the night while Kili had been sleeping and the way his brother looked so vulnerable had almost been enough to convince Kili not to go, to stay by his side and hold his hand. Instead he had used the emotions the sight had instilled in him to harden himself against the journey he was going to make, to save his brother.
The day passed slowly, even though Kili tried to keep himself busy to make it go quicker. He ended up spending five hours of the day lying on his own bed, pushed up against Fili's, holding his brother's hand and telling him of his plans quietly. Kili didn't mind doing that, keeping his brother company while he was sick.
"You can't leave me," Fili's hoarse voice whispered. Kili started. He had been muttering to himself about what path he should take and how he should probably try and take a map of Middle Earth so he knew where he was going when Fili had awoken, unknown to him.
"Fili!" He cried quietly. Fili winced at the noise regardless, his head spinning. Kili sobered a little when he saw the tears in Fili's eyes. His brother was quite dehydrated so he did not have many tears to cry, but the few that Kili saw hurt him.
"You can't go Kili," Fili said again, "You're too young."
"I have to Fili. I have to try and find some herbs and medicinal plants that mother and Thorin haven't been able to find and bring here for you." Kili replied softly, stroking Fili's sweat soaked hair.
"I need you here with me brother," Fili whispered, coughing violently after he spoke. Kili easily lifted Fili into a semi-sitting position and rubbed his back gently, before pouring a cool glass of water for his brother and helping Fili drink it.
"I want to stay with you Fili, I really do, but I need to help you. I feel so useless just sat here not doing anything, and I know that I have a better chance of helping if I actually do something. I'm leaving tonight, please Fili, don't die until I return. I promise I'll help." Kili's words gushed out before he could stop them and Fili laughed dryly.
"I'll live while you do Kili," He muttered, leaning heavily on him for support. Kili lowered Fili gently back onto the bed and lay next to him, one hand curled on Fili's chest.
"I'll come back I promise. I'll come back when I have the cure." Kili said determinedly. Fili smiled, but his eyes were already fluttering shut, he was exhausted already, even though he had barely moved or spoken. It was getting worse every time he woke up, he could not stay awake for long periods of time anymore. Kili took the book he had taken from Oin and quickly scribbled the symptoms of what was wrong with Fili down on a blank page in the very back, he could always rip it out when he returned.
Footsteps made their way towards Fili and Kili's room and Kili quickly stuffed the book under his pillow and sat up, taking Fili's hand again. He hoped it wasn't Oin, looking for his book, or Thorin or Dis, looking for the statue. It was Dis, but she did not look angry, merely worried, and a little surprised to see Kili back.
"You went out early today," She commented as she moved to Fili's side and checked his temperature with the back of her hand.
Kili shrugged and tried to offer her a smile. "I needed some fresh air, and a little bit of time to think." He replied. He felt bad lying to his mother, but it was the best thing to do. She would never let him go otherwise, and he needed to help Fili.
They spoke a little more, Kili informing her that Fili had just been awake but had been unable to stay that way for long. Dis hugged Kili tightly and kissed his forehead again before she left to prepare some food. Kili's stomach lurched at the thought, this was going to be his last meal with his family for a while, and only he knew it, and Fili, who would not be sharing the meal anyway. Thorin suspected something, Kili was sure of it from the way his uncle had been yesterday, but he could not prove anything. As he thought of Thorin an idea formed in Kili's mind. If anybody was going to have a map it would be Thorin, hidden in the room he had in their house. Slipping off his shoes Kili tiptoed through the house, hoping that he did not make too much noise and alert Dis to his sneaking around. When he reached Thorin's door and had not been stopped by an angry hand or shout Kili took a deep breath and opened the door.
Surprisingly Thorin was in his room, sat at the desk with his head in his hands. Kili froze and made to leave the room when Thorin lifted his head, sensing somebody behind him and turned quickly, hand going to a small knife he always kept by his waist. When he saw it was Kili he immediately dropped his hand, the shadow of a smile ghosting his face.
"What is it Kili? You looked terrified." Thorin asked, running a hand through his hair as he scrutinised his nephew.
"I didn't expect you to be here is all," Kili replied slowly, trying to think of an excuse to borrow a map of Middle Earth from Thorin. "You're normally working during the day."
"I'm on a later shift tonight, to work with Dwalin and Balin. Now what was it you wanted so badly from my room that you would sneak in here alone to get it?" Thorin inquired, folding his arms.
Kili tried to smile but found he couldn't. Taking a deep breath he decided on the next lie he was going to tell a family member and pointed at Thorin's desk.
"When I was out today I thought that I should try and catch up on some of my studies, otherwise you'll keep me inside to do them when Fili gets better. Do you have a map of Middle Earth uncle? I wanted to do some geography."
Surprised at how easy it had been to lie about something he hated as much as geography and non-practical lessons, Kili waited nervously for Thorin's response.
His uncle did not question Kili's need for a map, merely rummaged in a draw on his desk and handed a folded up map to Kili. Kili unfolded it and realised he knew this map, it was the map that he had stolen countless times as a child to pick a place in Middle Earth that he could turn Ered Luin and his house into and become the bravest warrior it had ever seen.
"Thank you uncle Thorin," He murmured absently, turning and exiting the room. Thorin frowned as the door closed. There was definitely something wrong with Kili, but after Fili being ill for so long Thorin would have been surprised if something wasn't wrong with Kili as well. The two brothers loved each other dearly and did everything together. Kili had refused to do anything unless Fili was there and Fili was the same, which caused problems sometimes because Fili should have started doing things, such as weapons training, five years before Kili, but they always had to wait until Kili was old enough, so Fili started things five years later than most dwarves did. Now Fili was ill Kili refused to do anything and had been inside nearly every day, it was no wonder he was acting strangely.
Kili was oblivious to the fact that he had acted strange around Thorin at all, busy pouring over his map of Middle Earth. Ered Luin was very far West, near the sea from the looks of it. 'The Shire', whatever that was, lay next to the mountains, with wilderness to the north and south. Rivendell was close to the Misty Mountains and sort of near Moria, the way Kili saw it and on the other side of the Misty Mountains lay Lorien. Kili did not know much about Rivendell and Lorien, only that they were full of elves. Elves were good healers, but Kili doubted that he could bring an elf back to Ered Luin, it would not sit well with Thorin and he would not let the elf near Fili. The Anduin separated Lorien and the borders of Greenwood. Kili remembered the stories Thorin had told him about the elves of Greenwood, especially their King, Thranduil. They had abandoned the dwarves on the day Smaug had attacked and that had driven the hatred of elves deep into his uncle. Kili had once voiced the opinion that if the dwarves couldn't deal with the dragon, what could the elves hope to achieve, and that was probably why Thranduil had retreated, knowing that he was less able to win. Thorin had lost his temper with his nephew at that point and had come close to beating him, yelling and shouting at him as Balin dragged him off. Kili shivered at the memory. His eyes were drawn to Erebor, north east of Mirkwood, near the ruined town of Dale. There was no help for him there. The Iron Hills stood out even further eastward, where Dain and his people lived. Kili did not think it would be wise for him to trek to the Iron Hills. If Oin could not heal his brother than the dwarves of the Iron Hills would probably not be able to either. To the south were the lands of Rohan and Gondor, and the forest of Fangorn. Kili had never been taught much about the southern areas of the maps he had seen, he was sure this was because his uncle didn't know much about their history or their people, except that they were ruled by men. He would not go there for help.
"My best bet is the elves," He muttered aloud, "Even if I cannot bring one back here I can ask them if they know how to heal Fili and get them to teach me as quickly as possible. So...Rivendell would be my first stop. I don't know much about this Shire place, so maybe if I go northward and pass through Emyn Uial and then go around the North Downs, and then go south to the Last Bridge and cross over to try and find Rivendell." Kili continued speaking out loud even though there was a chance that Thorin or Dis might overhear him and realise what he was planning to do.
"I might do it after dinner, when everyone has gone to bed. I need to get all my weapons ready and the bag is ready and I need the book and the map. Thorin will go out late, so I'll sneak out after he's gone so he can't see me." Kili continued. Fili shivered behind him, pulling Kili from his thoughts so he could draw the covers up closer to Fili's chin and hug him tightly to warm him up.
Hold on Fili, after tonight I will definitely find you a cure. Kili thought firmly and kissed Fili's cheek.
Dinner was uneventful, a silent affair. Kili was used to this, it had been silent since Fili had gotten extremely ill, but he felt uneasy in the silence now, it made him feel like Dis and Thorin knew what he was planning to do in less than three or four hours. Not one word was spoken and Kili finished before Dis and Thorin and left the room to head back to Fili. His brother looked peaceful for once and Kili smiled properly for the first time in a while. Dis had followed him up, despite still having food on the table, with a small portion to see if Fili could eat something.
"Don't wake him mama," Kili requested as Dis entered. "He looks peaceful right now. If you want him to eat I'll feed him later if he wakes up."
Dis nodded and left silently. Kili did not like seeing his mother so downtrodden and wondered if she could survive him running away to save Fili. She would not know why Kili had run away and that might break her heart, but Kili couldn't tell her because she would never let him leave. Fili needed him more than his mother did. Thorin could look after her. He had to look after Fili. Lying down next to Fili on his bed after he had gathered everything he needed for the journey, Kili closed his eyes and allowed himself to doze while he waited for Dis to go to bed and for Thorin to leave for work.
When he woke up later because of Fili flailing in his feverish state and realised that he had fallen asleep and had lost precious time. He could tell it was late because the room was pitch black and there were no sounds coming from the house, meaning Thorin had already left for work and Dis was probably sleeping soundly. Kili jumped from the bed and slipped on his quiver of arrows, banging as he fell to the floor.
"Shit," He hissed, staying still to see if Dis was moving. When he heard no sound coming from the house he quickly dressed himself in proper travelling clothes, choosing to leave the furs that were patterned with the royal symbols of Erebor behind. He did not want trouble on his journey. Swinging the bag onto his back and fixing his quiver into place Kili took one last look at Fili, who was shaking, his eyes screwed tightly shut in pain. He scrawled a note on a small scrap of paper for Dis to find in the morning before he turned to his brother.
"I will cure you Fili," He whispered before quietly exiting the room and heading down and out of the house.
In the dark he knew the way outside to where the markets were held, and from there he knew the direction that the path took down from the mountains onto the plains below. Just because he knew where the path was did not mean he could traverse it at night. Kili had never been down this path before and was not sure he was confident at tackling it for the first time at night but he had no other choice if he wanted to leave. Gritting his teeth Kili pushed forward, not looking back but certainly not forgetting what he was leaving behind.
The path was mainly solid and it was easy to tell where it curved with the mountainside. Kili could only assume it wouldn't stay so easy as he got towards the bottom, but was proven wrong when he found himself at the bottom of the mountains of Ered Luin, looking across what he could see of Eriador, the region that Ered Luin was in, and somewhere he knew the Lhûn headed towards the sea. The world was beautiful, even if he was seeing it at night. Kili fumbled for a moment with his arms at the bag on his back, working the map he had stole from Thorin out of one of the pockets. The light of the moon and stars was just bright enough for him to see the outlines of the map and he tracked the path he had chosen beforehand. The young dwarf wanted to get to the Lhûn by at least the morning so that he could find the best way to cross it and then any dwarf that began following him when they realised he was missing would lose his tracks.
"Fili…" Kili murmured, closing his eyes and trying to smile. He missed his brother already and he had only been gone for what he assumed was an hour, for the first time Kili was filled with doubt that he could survive alone in the wild without Fili, he had such a strong bond with his brother and every step he took would take him further away from his brother.
Taking a deep breath Kili took his first step, then his second, picking up a quick pace as soon as he had taken at least five steps away from the mountains of Ered Luin. Excitement bubbled up in him as he started jogging away from the mountains that he called home; heading what he hoped was north-east, or at least north, so he could bypass the place called the Shire and approach Rivendell from the north. I hope there are landmarks that will tell me where I am when the sun rises, Kili thought to himself suddenly, but it was too late to turn back now, he had already begun. Fili, hold on for me, I'll definitely return with a cure.